Ransomed Jewels (21 page)

Chapter 28

Claire’s head ached. She reached up to rub her throbbing temples. She’d known it would come down to this, to the major and her on opposite sides. She only prayed he was more concerned with the papers for the moment. That she would have at least one chance to get the necklace without him stopping her.

Although she knew when she took, it he’d never be able to forgive her.

“Claire?”

Claire wrapped her arms around her middle and hugged tight, praying she could protect herself from the pain that was to come.

“Are you all right?”

She nodded her head, but inside a voice was screaming,
No! I’m not all right
. She’d probably never be all right again. Because when this whole nightmare was over, she’d be forced to face the fact that her entire life had been a lie. Be forced to announce to the world that she wasn’t the Marchioness of Huntingdon. She wasn’t anyone.

And worse than that, she’d be forced to live with the major’s anger and fury when he realized she’d exchanged the Queen’s Blood for Alex. When he realized her brother’s life had been worth more to her than her own, because he was the only innocent one in all of this. And she could not live with herself if she let him die.

Then, she’d have the rest of her life to live with the memories of Sam’s kisses and the one single night he’d made love to her. Time to come to terms with the fact that the only man she would ever love hated her.

“Claire?”

He’d come up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. His touch was like a brand searing through her. She wanted him like she’d never wanted anyone in her life. Needed him more than she thought it possible to need anyone. Just once more before he left her. Once more before she was left with a heart so shattered she’d never be able to survive. But loving him again would only make it worse. And she wasn’t sure she could survive it.

“I’d like to be left alone,” she said, stepping out of his arms.

“He can’t hurt you any longer, Claire.”

Her breath caught. “No, he can’t. No one will ever again.”

“Claire?”

“Please, don’t call me that.”

“What, Claire?”

“Yes.”

“That’s your name.”

“But I haven’t given you permission to use it.”

The look on his face turned dark. As if she’d struck him. “Why are you doing this?

“Doing what?”

“Closing yourself off from me.”

With a stiffening of her spine, she turned her back to him and moved as far away from him as possible.

“Don’t you realize it’s too late to walk away from me? We’ve shared too much, Claire. We’ve held each other and kissed each other, and given our bodies to each other.”

“Stop!”

Claire brought her fist to her mouth. How could he remind her of that? How could he throw her mistake in her face like that?

“I’m doing everything in my power to forget that last night happened. It was a mistake. I should never have let things go that far but I—”

She stopped before she revealed more than she intended.

“But you what?”

“Nothing.”

“What reasons aren’t you able to admit, Claire? That you couldn’t stop yourself any more than I could? That you knew from the start there was something between us that even Hunt couldn’t destroy?”

“How dare you!”

“Would you like me to tell you what I think?”

“No.”

“I think you made love to me because you wanted me. And because you were desperate to disprove all your insecurities. I think Hunt’s refusal to physically make you his wife made you doubt your ability to be a woman. That for just one night you wanted to be loved.”

Claire stifled a cry.

“What Hunt did to you was unconscionable. He had no right to take you as his bride when he already had a wife. There is no excuse for that, other than he loved his son so much he would do anything—even commit bigamy—to ensure his son’s rightful place in Society. But that doesn’t excuse what he did. Nor does it excuse what you did to me.”

Claire spun her gaze to the hard look on his face. She wanted to demand he explain what he meant, but he didn’t give her a chance. He explained without her prompting.

“You used me to prove to yourself you were capable of loving someone, capable of being a woman. You used me the same as Hunt used you.”

“No!”

“Why, Claire? Why did you choose me to give yourself to? Why me, when you could have had anyone?”

“That’s not why I—”

“Then why, Claire?”

“Because I—”

She clamped her hand over her mouth. She’d almost blurted out the words she could never take back. Almost told him she loved him. But she’d stopped herself just in time. Just before she’d made a fool of herself and was forced to watch the look of shock on his face. Before she had to hear his words of denial.

She lifted her chin and glared at him. “You already know why.”

“No, I don’t. Tell me.”

He took a step toward her, and Claire sucked in a painful breath. How could she tell him she loved him?

“Tell me, Claire,” he said, taking another step. “Tell me why you gave yourself to me.” He took another step, then another, until he stood so close she could feel the heat from his body. “Tell me,” he said, clasping his hands over her shoulders and pulling her close.

“You know!” she cried out, knowing he intended to kiss her. Certain she’d die if he did. Even more certain she’d die if he didn’t.

But when he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips to hers, she didn’t care about anything except having his body pressed close to her and his lips against hers.

She wrapped her arms around Sam’s neck and held him close. His lips moved over hers until she ached with a yearning only he could assuage. She didn’t think of the rightness of kissing him. Or the pain she would feel when he realized that she’d used the necklace to bargain for Alex’s life. When he looked at her with disgust instead of adoration. She only knew that this would be the last time she’d have him near her once he realized what she’d done. This would be the last time she’d know what love truly felt like. She took what he offered with greater urgency.

He deepened his kisses—taking from her, demanding from her, then opening his mouth to begin his assault. His tongue skimmed her warm flesh in search of a treasure. She rushed forward to meet him, to take from him all he could give.

Their mating was magic. Wave after wave of molten heat soared through her chest and down her belly, igniting the beginning of something greater than she’d ever felt before. There was a desperation in his touch, and his tongue battled hers with a vibrancy that stole her strength.

Claire clung to him, rubbing her hands across his shoulders and touching as much of him as she could.

Then she forced herself to stop. Stop before it was too late and there was no turning back.

She turned away from him and stepped out of his arms. She was unable to stand on her own and braced herself against the corner of a table that sat by the door.

“What, Claire?”

Claire gasped for air, praying when the day was over he would understand that she’d had no choice.

“Why did you stop?”

She shook her head. “I only wanted—”

“Wanted what?”

Claire swallowed hard and forced herself to hold his gaze. If he believed nothing else they’d ever shared, she wanted him to believe this. “I just wanted it to be like before. Just once more.”

With a heart she was certain was breaking, she took another step away from him. “Tilly should have Lady Huntingdon’s trunks unpacked. I’m going to see if she has the papers with her. If she does, I’ll send them down. Perhaps it isn’t too late to salvage at least that much from this disaster.”

Claire walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. She suddenly felt very alone and frightened and closed off from the rest of the world. As if she’d been set adrift in a small, fragile boat upon an ocean fraught with danger and hostile threats.

And she knew the last thing on earth she wanted was to be left alone . . . separated from the one man who possessed her heart and made her feel safe and whole.

Sam leaned his shoulder against the window in Hunt’s study and waited for Claire to come down with the necklace and papers. His mind roiled in a whirlwind of confusion. How could Hunt have married her, knowing full well he already had a wife? How could he have used her so cruelly, taking her as his wife, yet never making her his wife?

Everything he was learning about the man he’d admired tarnished his perfection. Disobeying the orders they’d been given was a dishonest move. Pitting himself against a man as dangerous as Roseneau was a stupid thing to do. But the worst was what he’d done to Claire. Marrying her when he wasn’t free to do so was a sin Sam wasn’t sure he could forgive. And Hunt tumbled from the pedestal where Sam had mentally placed him.

Sam pushed away from the window and took another long swallow of the brandy he’d poured himself. His initial assumption was that it was her fault that she was still a virgin. That she had never allowed Hunt to make her his wife.

Bloody hell, if Hunt were here now, he’d beat him within an inch of his life. He’d make him pay for every day he’d made Claire feel inadequate. For every day she’d believed she was a woman no man could love. Because she wasn’t. And he knew it because he—

His breath caught in his throat, and a weight heavier than the world itself was suddenly lifted from his chest. A weight that contained a lifetime of hopelessness and yearning and unfulfilled desires. A weight filled with the dark aloneness that had always made up his life. And in its place he was given the air he needed to breathe and the sun he needed to survive, including every emotion he’d denied he was capable of feeling. Most especially, love.

He dropped his head back on his shoulders and grinned a heartwarming smile. Yes, love. The love a man feels for a woman. The protective giving and sharing that makes a person whole. The love he knew he felt for Claire. A love that assured him that nothing was more important than that she be at his side and in his arms for the rest of his life. When this whole mess was over, he’d tell her.

Then, he’d help her when she was forced to come face to face with the wife and family Hunt had left behind. And together they’d weather whatever was in store for them and forge a future filled with everything they’d both gone a lifetime without.

As soon as he knew the identity of the traitor.

Sam paced the room, checking the clock on the mantel, waiting for her to come down with the necklace and the papers the Marchioness of Huntingdon had brought with her.

It would be over soon. The British representatives would have the necklace, and Sam would have the papers Hunt had taken and could begin deciphering them to figure out the identity of the traitor.

But first he had to free the Marquess of Halverston. The plan was in motion. He’d sent Linscott with instructions to have agents surround the Ambassadors Hotel where Roseneau was staying. Once he knew the necklace was in McCormick’s hands, Sam would handle Roseneau on his own. He couldn’t promise Claire her brother’s life wouldn’t be sacrificed to save the lives of thousands, but he’d do everything in his power to get him away from Roseneau.

Then, Sam would take Claire away from this madness and show her how special love between a man and woman could be. He’d give her all the things she’d been denied because Hunt couldn’t love her. He’d tell her how much he loved her, and spend every day for the rest of his life showering her with affection.

He remembered how she’d looked the night of Roseneau’s ball. How beautiful. How lucky he thought Hunt was and how envious he’d been of his friend. And he remembered how terrified he’d been when he’d rescued her that night Roseneau’s henchman almost killed her. How afraid he’d been that he hadn’t gotten to her in time. That the bastard had hurt her. That was when he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life protecting her, taking care of her. Only he hadn’t recognized the feelings for what they were.

It wasn’t until he saw her in the garden with her brother that he knew how much he loved her. That he realized how much it hurt to think she loved someone else. How much he wanted her for himself. That he wouldn’t let anyone else have her.

And Sam knew she felt the same.

She couldn’t have kissed him with such desperation if she didn’t. Wouldn’t have made love to him with such passion. And yet, something about the way she’d pulled out of his arms just now bothered him. Something he couldn’t explain. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.

Maybe it was fear. Fear because of all Hunt had put her through. Fear for her brother’s safety. Fear because of what she’d barely survived. But the words she’d spoken just before she’d left him wouldn’t go away.

I just wanted it to be like before. Just once more.

Just once more.

Sam didn’t know why those words should bother him, but there was something ominous about them. A warning he didn’t understand. Then he remembered the desperation in her kisses. The urgency. As if she were taking as much from him as she could one last time.

Just once more.