Ransom Canyon (14 page)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Quinn

Q
UINN
STARED
IN
the mirror, looking for any signs that she was pregnant. Her breasts were a bit bigger and her tummy slightly rounded. With her height and slim build she could probably carry a child unseen into the fifth or even sixth month.

She could handle three months of listening to folks ask questions. The answers were simple. Of course, the baby was hers. Yes, she knew who the father was, but that wasn’t anyone’s business. She planned to raise the child alone right here on her farm.

In the days waiting for Staten to call, she’d figured out a few things during the silence. She might be shy and like keeping to herself, but she was strong. She could do this. She could have the baby and raise it herself.

She’d thought of making up a story about how she’d had an old boyfriend show up for a few days, and she’d thought they might rekindle their love. But, she’d realized that they weren’t meant to be together. He’d already gone his own way, she’d say. He wouldn’t be interested in a baby, but she was.

Quinn laughed. No one would believe such a ridiculous story.

She never had an old love, and, with her luck, the kid would look exactly like Staten.

Maybe she should leave for six months or so and come back with a ring and a kid. But there would be people who would do the math and realize she’d been pregnant when she left. Also, it was time to plant. She couldn’t leave the farm now.

This was the twenty-first century, not a hundred years ago. No one cared where the father was, and everyone who loved her would love the baby. She wasn’t rich, but they’d never go hungry.

Just as she finished dressing, someone pounded on her door. Quinn didn’t hurry. She knew who it was. The only surprise was that he’d taken two weeks to come back.

Walking through the house she saw Staten standing just beyond the screen door. Quinn found herself slowing so she could take him in for a moment longer. He was big, well-built, powerful-looking. His face was as cloudy as the storm rolling across the sky behind him, but even now she thought him the handsomest man she’d ever met.

When she reached the door, she didn’t open the screen or invite him in. “If you’ve come to tell me to abort, you’re wasting your time. No matter what the argument, I wouldn’t.”

He braced the sides of the door frame as if it were strong enough to keep him out. “You know I wouldn’t do that, Quinn.”

She did know. She knew him better than anyone alive. “Then why are you here, Staten?” Quinn needed to hear the words.

“I want to be in your life.” He paused as if he thought one sentence might work. When it didn’t, he continued, “I miss you. I need to help you with this baby or at least be around if you need me.”

She still didn’t move.

“I can’t handle the thought of losing you.” He pushed away from the door, walked a few feet, swore, and came back. “I don’t know the words to say. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I’ll be dead in a week if you don’t let me come in.”

He looked so sad, she unlatched the screen.

He stepped one foot inside and waited, his hat in his big hands.

Quinn remained close. She wasn’t afraid of him, she never had been. “I know what you’re saying, Staten, but you hurt me too badly.”

“It was the shock of it all.” He took a deep breath. “I hate not talking to you. You’re the only friend I have, Quinn.”

She smiled. “I’ve no doubt. Folks say you’re hard as rock. Leaves me wondering if you’ll be any good for a baby.”

“I’ll try. Truth is, I don’t know much about babies. Amalah’s mom moved in when Randall was born, and Granny drove over to help out almost every morning. Between working hard to get the place going and trying to stay out of my mother-in-law’s way, I don’t remember much from birth to the day he could talk.”

He met her gaze. “I’d try harder if I had another chance. I swear I would.”

Quinn shook her head. “I don’t want to hurt you, Staten, but I need time to think. We’re not two kids. I didn’t plan this, but now it’s here I want to experience every minute. I don’t want to make a decision that I’ll end up regretting.”

He gave one jerk of a nod. “I understand. Do you want to know what I want?”

“No,” she said softly. “Not yet, maybe not ever.” She guessed he’d suggest marriage and her moving over to the ranch. She wouldn’t fit in his world, and he’d never fit in this place. Or, he might not suggest they marry, and somehow that would be sad. He’d never said he loved her, but she knew she mattered to him. Maybe that’s how it would be with the baby, too. He’d come see their child. The kid would matter to him, but there would be no love involved, just a duty to take care of his responsibility.

Kirkland men tended to marry outgoing women. For a hundred years, Kirkland women had taken leading roles in running the town and socials. The library was named after his great-grandmother. Kirkland money kept the museum going. His grandmother had run the chamber of commerce for years. Even Amalah had chaired several charities before she became ill.

Quinn wasn’t the wife for Staten, and she never wanted his sense of duty to force them both into something they couldn’t live with.

“Can we talk?” Staten carefully set his hat on the back of the nearest kitchen chair as if testing the waters. “Not about the baby, but just talk. I’ve missed you.”

“Me, too.” She hadn’t really realized how much until she’d seen him standing at the door.

“We could go into town for breakfast. I could buy you a cup of coffee if you’ve already eaten. It looks like rain, so we won’t get much done today anyway.” His low voice rumbled, echoing the distant thunder.

She thought of all the times he’d offered to take her out and she’d said no, but somehow, this time it seemed right. “If I go, will you promise we won’t talk about the baby?”

“If that’s what you want. You have my word.”

She lifted her jacket from the hook by the door and walked out of her house without bothering to lock up.

He followed her to his truck and opened the passenger side for her. “Need any help?”

She swung up. “No, thanks.”

They drove toward town talking of the weather. Both lived by the seasons. It was the last thing they checked at night and the first thing they checked in the morning.

When he passed the high school, he recalled a few things that had happened when they were in school. Amalah and Staten had been seriously dating by the time they were all three juniors. Quinn swore she’d heard every detail of every date her best friend had with Staten.

“Remember the time Amalah fell when all the cheerleaders were building a pyramid? I think it was the last football game of the season.”

Quinn grinned. “I was in the band. It was halftime, and we were playing the school song when I saw her tumble. I stopped playing and ran out of line, but I couldn’t get to her.”

“I was huddled up listening to the coach when I heard someone scream and turned to see her falling. I thought my heart would stop when she didn’t get up. I wanted to pick her up and make sure she was all right, but she had a crowd around her.”

“After the game she laughed at us both for overreacting.” Quinn smiled. That was one of the few times she’d felt sorry for Staten because she knew exactly the fear he’d felt. In an odd way they shared Amalah. Over the years her loss was something they also shared.

He covered Quinn’s hand with his. “She loved us both, you know.”

“I know. She had shone so bright during those years. I always felt like a shadow next to her. I was never jealous, you know. I wouldn’t have wanted her life, and I’m guessing she wouldn’t have wanted mine.”

To her surprise he shook his head. “No, Quinn, you’re wrong. You had talent. Real talent. Amalah once told me she wished she could play like you, and she was green when you got to go to New York to study. Miss Abernathy used to brag on you all the time. She’d say you were the brightest, shining star to ever grow up around here. Amalah was proud to be your friend, but I think she would have traded if she could have.”

“Sure. Some star.” Quinn shrugged.

“You’re just as bright, whether you play in New York or just for me. If you decide to teach, I think you’ll be great at that, too.”

They pulled up to the café. He rushed around and helped her out of the truck. Neither bothered with opening an umbrella or even pulling up their hoods. The gentle rain made both smile.

“Staten,” she whispered as they hurried inside, “don’t let me eat any bacon.”

He raised an eyebrow and then seemed to figure it out. “Right.”

The café was long past the breakfast crowd, and the waitress was new, so they ate in peace. He told her about the mystery of his murdered bull, and she talked about how she planned to change up her fields some this spring. She even planned to lease out the back forty acres of her land to the farmer behind her. “The lease will probably pay me more than any profit I could make growing lavender off the land.”

If anyone had been there to listen in, they’d simply think that two old friends were having breakfast together. A farmer and a rancher talking about their problems with the land.

When the waitress brought the breakfast plates, she commented that Dorothy piled on extra bacon. “She said when she saw you, Miss Quinn, she remembered you always ate double the bacon when you came in with your parents several years back.”

Quinn thanked the waitress. Without a word Staten ate the bacon on both plates, making her smile. This hard businessman was doing his best to be charming.

He drove her home and walked her to the porch.

She said goodbye twice and thanked him for the breakfast, but he just stood there blocking her way into the house.

When she could think of nothing else to say, she just stared.

“I’m not leaving.” He set his hat down on the railing. “I have a promise to keep. I’ll kiss you goodbye first, then I’ll leave.”

Since she was the one who’d made him promise, she couldn’t complain. She just waited.

He took his time moving closer, placing his arms at her waist and tugging her against him. Then, tenderly, he kissed her.

Quinn felt herself melting as the kiss deepened. There was something about how he held her just right, making her feel needed and cherished.

When he finally ended the kiss, she didn’t step away. His hands moved over her back, and she wished this one moment might last forever. His words came to her low and loving. “I want to undress you, Quinn. I don’t want to talk or even think. I just want to hold you.”

She understood all he wasn’t saying. Change was coming and like it or not, for better or worse, what they had would never be the same. She’d been his shelter for five years, and he’d been her rock.

Without a word she took his hand and led him into the house and down the hallway. She stood in the shadows of the cloudy day and watched him slowly undress her. Silently he moved Quinn onto the bed and turned her on her side while he untied her braid. Then he lay beside her, letting his hand move over her hair and down her body.

The air was damp and cool, so they cuddled under the covers when they began to make love as if for the first time...as if for the last time. A pure kind of loving without words. No agenda, only showing each other how much they cared.

As she drifted to sleep in his arms, she felt his hand spread wide over her abdomen.

Hours later, when she woke, he was gone. She tried to recall the last moment before she’d fallen asleep. Had he leaned down and kissed her tummy, or had she dreamed it?

Quinn spent most of the week drifting from project to project while she waited for Staten to return. She had no doubt he would.

Her mind kept going back to the few words he’d said and the way he’d touched her. She knew there were a hundred things to do, a hundred decisions to make, but the memory of the way they’d made love wouldn’t seem to leave her mind.

He’d kept to his word. They hadn’t talked about the baby. The time would come when they would have to, but for right now, there were enough days left before the world changed to just enjoy being together.

* * *

A
LITTLE
BEFORE
dark on Saturday night Quinn got a text from Staten.

Got invitation to Lauren Brigman’s birthday party at the lake next week. I’m not going unless you are.

Quinn laughed. She liked Lauren; they’d become friends, but Quinn had no idea why Staten would be invited.

I’m going.

Good
, he texted back.
I’ll drop by later tonight and we can talk about what I’m supposed to get a sixteen-year-old.

Sounds good
,
she answered.
Supper? Or Dessert?

His answer came back in a blink.

YOU!

She held her breath during the long pause, then he added,
I loved holding you while you slept. Any chance we can do that again?

A river of unsaid words ran between them, but for now the place where they were was enough. He wasn’t pushing her or trying to talk her into anything. He was giving her time and letting her know how he felt about her.

Thirty minutes later when she called his cell, thinking he’d be on his way, a stranger answered.

“Kirkland’s phone, this is Jake Longbow,” a voice rusty with age said.

“Jake,” she laughed, remembering the ranch hand from years ago when she and Amalah used to ride horses out on the Double K ranch. “This is Quinn O’Grady. I’m trying to reach Staten.”

There was a long pause, then Jake said, “He ran out and jumped in his pickup when we heard gunfire a few minutes ago. Tossed me his phone and told me to call the sheriff. I called the county office, and the sheriff didn’t even bother saying goodbye to me. Sounded like he dropped the phone and started running.”

Quinn took a quick breath. Probably only hunters. They tended to ignore posted signs. “Jake—” she tried to sound calm “—could you have him call me when he gets back?”

“Will do, but if he’s wanting the sheriff, he’s planning to press charges this time.”

Quinn hung up the phone and picked up a blanket. She’d watch the sunset from the porch and pray Staten called.