Randall Pride (15 page)

“Yes,” she agreed. “This whole thing is awkward.”

“If—if I’m wrong, and he’s not interested,” B.J. began, “have you thought about afterwards?”

“I’m not going to drive him away, Aunt B.J., I promise,” Elizabeth said seriously. “If I can’t—manage, I’ll find another job, a little farther away. We can’t all live here together forever.”

“But I don’t want you to go away,” Megan cried. “I just got you home again.”

Elizabeth buried her face in her hands. All these conversations were making her crazy…and frightened. All she wanted was Toby. But what was it going to cost her? And her family.

S
HE SPENT
another day at home. Her ankle was causing her minor pain. She sat down frequently, propping it up to rest. But she also caught up on some lesson plans and organizing her closet.

Elizabeth waited anxiously for her mother’s return so she could hear about all her students. Tomorrow she would see for herself.

Thinking about the children helped take her
thoughts off Toby and how she was going to approach him. She didn’t hold out much hope. If he felt as she did, he would’ve done something about it. He wasn’t one to hide from his feelings. He’d been good to her while they were on the mountain. She’d slept well that night, held in his arms.

But he hadn’t made any moves that would’ve made her think he looked at her in any way but as a cousin.

A dumb cousin at that.

Except that fleeting memory. She wasn’t even sure it was a memory. But she thought she remembered Toby’s lips on hers just before she got her eyes open that morning. Was she dreaming? Probably. But she clung to that thought.

Wednesday night, after waiting all day to see him, Elizabeth was disappointed. He didn’t come for supper. “Where’s Toby?” she asked.

“He’s working with Buster in the indoor arena. Said he was behind on the training. I told him I’d bring him some leftovers,” Russ said, not stopping to gulp down his own food. “Is that okay, Red?”

“Sure, boy. Don’t want any of you to go hungry.”

“I could take it to him,” Elizabeth suggested.

“Right!” Russ agreed with a derisive laugh. “That would be great. Hopalong Randall carrying a big plate of food on snow and ice. Talk about a disaster!”

Elizabeth reminded herself she’d find a time to pay Russ back for his teasing. She knew she shouldn’t go out tonight, but the paths between the barns were clear. She didn’t think she’d have a problem.

And she was going crazy.

She watched with longing as Russ loaded down a plate and left the kitchen. She started to ask him to let her go with him, but the cousins would get suspicious.

After the dishes were cleaned and order restored in the kitchen, she slowly climbed the stairs to her room. Once inside, she sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. She’d already cleaned and organized everything. There was nothing on television except some silly sitcoms. What was she going to do until morning? Her babies at school were doing well, but they missed her, Megan said.

That was nice.

But she couldn’t get her mind off Toby. She wanted something to happen. But she’d finally realized that mild flirting with Toby wasn’t going to do it. Because of their peculiar circumstances, she would have to come right out and confront him. There would be no stages of dating. It was all or nothing.

Suddenly, she jumped to her feet, then winced as her ankle warned her not to be so impetuous. She exchanged her loafers for some pull-on snow boots. Than she checked her hair and makeup and brushed her teeth. A spritz of perfume, and she was ready.

She was going to end the torture she’d been suffering for the past few days. She could wait no longer. She was going to talk to Toby.

Even if she had to crawl on her hands and knees to get to that blasted barn!

She turned around and got some gloves.

“Everything okay at the house?” Toby asked between bites.

Russ had brought his food and settled down to visit while Toby ate. “Sure. Red fussed at us, as usual. The parents seemed to be in their own little world. Uncle Jake in particular was in a real good mood. And Elizabeth came down to dinner.”

“She did? Is she all right?”

“Yeah. She’s going back to school tomorrow. She thought she was so well recovered, she offered to bring your food to you.”

Toby’s heart clutched. He wished she had. No one else was working in the barn tonight. He could’ve been alone with her. He released a deep sigh. Bad plan. He wasn’t in control right now. He’d been doing too much thinking about the future.

“I told her I didn’t think that would be a good plan. She’d probably slip on the snow and ice and reinjure herself.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Besides, who wants to talk to a girl cousin? They aren’t much interested in things we’re interested in.”

“Unless, of course, it was Abby instead of a cousin,” Toby pointed out innocently.

“You want to see Abby?” Russ demanded, panic in his voice.

“No, idiot, but I bet you’d choose Abby over one of your male cousins.”

“Well, yeah,” Russ said with relief. “But that’s different.”

“Yeah,” Toby agreed with a rueful grin. “Have you got plans for the weekend?”

“Yeah. I see her every day I work in town. We’re going out to dinner. Then I’m bringing her back to spend the weekend at the ranch. The parents think Elizabeth needs company, since we’re all guys, remember?”

Toby chuckled again. “I hope you remember that when you get Abby here. You’re going to want to spend all your time with her.”

“I can’t spend the night with her,” Russ said with frustration.

“That serious?” Toby asked, watching him carefully. “You’re being responsible, aren’t you?”

“Sure, but it’s not sex. I mean, I’m ready for sex with Abby, but I want to do everything with her, even sleep. I mean really sleep. I want to wake up with her.”

“I’d say you’ve got it bad,” Toby said, knowing exactly what he meant.

“Yeah. But I can’t say much to Rich. He doesn’t—I think he’s afraid things won’t be the same with us if Abby and I—do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, but he’ll adjust, Russ. It’s probably hard on twins, but tell him how you feel.”

“I guess I’d better. I wouldn’t want to shock him.”

The sound of the barn door opening drew both their attentions. “That’s probably him now,” Russ added.

But the person who emerged from the coat and hat wasn’t Rich but Elizabeth. Toby set aside his plate of food and reached her side as she leaned against the wall, her sore ankle obvious.

“Elizabeth, what are you doing here?” he demanded.

“Well, thanks for the welcome,” she said with irritation. “I was getting cabin fever. I thought I’d come watch you train Buster.”

“Aunt Megan agreed to that? Risking you falling?” he asked incredulously as he scooped her into his arms and brought her to the bench he’d been sitting on.

He sat her down and reluctantly drew back.

“I didn’t ask my mother if I could leave the house, Toby. I’m not four years old.”

“I remember you went after your daddy when you were four. When she finally missed you, you were found in the pasture with Uncle Pete’s rodeo bulls.” Toby grinned at the memory.

“A long memory isn’t such a wonderful thing,
Toby Randall. I may be able to think of a few stories about you, too,” Elizabeth warned.

Russ settled back down on the bench. “Hey, I haven’t heard stories like this. You got a good one on Toby?” he asked, glee in his voice.

“Never mind, Elizabeth. We’ll call it quits on tales.” Toby didn’t think she knew any stories, but the parents could’ve passed some on.

“Shoot, I think she should tell me something good,” Russ said. “You’ve always been the perfect child, Toby. When we came along, all we heard was ‘Toby wouldn’t do that,”’

Toby shrugged. “I’ve had my share of bad behavior, Russ. You guys are just as good as me, and you know it.” He’d fought this problem before. “In fact, I may disrupt the family in the near future, and you and Rich would become the picture of perfection to hold up to the rest of them.”

Russ laughed. “Yeah, right. What are you going to do? Return to the rodeo and win some more belt buckles? That would really upset everyone.”

He stood and stretched. “Ready to go back to the house now, Elizabeth? I’ll help you back.”

“No!” she exclaimed, startling her cousin. “No, I want to see Toby work with Buster. I’ll stay a while.”

Toby stared at her. Then he turned to Russ. “Thanks for bringing down the dinner, Russ. I’ll make sure Elizabeth gets back to the house before her bedtime.”

Russ shrugged and headed for the door. “Okay.
I’m tired. I need to call Abby, then I’ll hit the sack. See you tomorrow.”

Toby watched Russ go, knowing that he’d be left alone with Elizabeth. Anticipation built in him.

“Is he serious about Abby?”

Toby turned to stare at Elizabeth again. “What?”

“I just wondered if he talked to you about Abby. She’s—she’s in love with him. I want her to be happy,” Elizabeth said. She dropped her gaze from his eyes. “It’s sad when you love someone and he—he doesn’t love you back.”

“You ever suffered from that?” he asked, trying to keep his voice casual.

She turned her face away. “I—when I was younger,” she mumbled.

“You had a crush on Mr. Sanders?” he teased, hoping for more information. Mr. Sanders had been the local chemistry teacher at the high school, almost to retirement when Toby had gone to school.

“No! No, not Mr. Sanders.”

“Then who?”

She got up from the bench and hobbled over to the corral. “Aren’t you going to start training Buster? Where is he?”

“I took him back to the stall so he could eat a little while I was having dinner. I’ll go get him.”

E
LIZABETH
drew a deep breath as she watched Toby stride toward the stalls at the far end of the arena. She
should’ve just told him she’d had a crush on him. But the moment had slipped by.

Now Toby would be in the corral with Buster, and she could watch him with no problem. She loved watching him work with animals. He was so gentle, yet firm. He had a natural grace that made him a pleasure to watch, even if she weren’t in love with him.

She settled back with a smile as he led the horse into the arena.

An hour later, Toby led Buster over to the corral fence near her. “I’m calling it a night. He’s too tired to learn much more. Wait here and I’ll help you back to the house.”

She smiled at him and nodded. But as he led the horse back to the other end, she stood and circled the outside of the corral. After all, she limped a little, but it wasn’t too painful. She’d help Toby rub down Buster.

By the time she had negotiated the length of the arena and reached the stalls, Toby had almost finished with Buster.

“Need any help?” she asked softly.

Both the cowboy and the horse jumped. “Hell! You scared us both to death, Elizabeth. I expected you to wait for me.”

She stared at her handsome cowboy and decided she wouldn’t ever have a better opening than that. “I’ve
been
waiting for you, Toby. All my life.” Her body began trembling as she watched him stare at her.

“What did you say?” he asked, his gaze intense.

She swallowed her nervousness. If he rejected her, at least she’d know. “I said, I’ve been waiting for you all my life.”

After standing like a statue, Toby abruptly gave Buster several more swipes with the brush, then put the brush away. He came out of the stall and carefully latched the door.

Elizabeth watched his methodical movements in growing irritation. Wasn’t he even going to answer her? Maybe that was his response. He didn’t feel the same as her so he would just ignore what she’d said. She started to turn away, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

“What do you mean, Elizabeth?”

“Are you sure you want to know?” she asked, edging closer to his tall, strong body.

His arms came around her, removing the space between them. “I want to know.”

She took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, Toby.”

As if she’d lit the fuse to a Roman candle, her world exploded. Toby’s lips covered hers for that long-desired kiss that more than met her expectations. Her body was on fire everywhere they touched, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to be skin to skin, heart to heart. Her fingers found the top snap on his shirt and began unfastening it at once.

His mouth continued to lay waste to any thoughts she could put together. When he finally raised his
head, she thought she’d die, as if he provided her oxygen by his lips.

She pulled his head back to her mouth. He’d been kissing her neck, but she needed his mouth on hers. By that time, his chest was exposed to her seeking fingers and she ran her hands over his muscles, the sensation of silky hair beneath her fingers spurring her on.

“Lizzie…” he managed to get out, over the sound of his thundering heart. But she refused to let him start a conversation now. Talk wasn’t what she wanted.

And why had she never known how exciting sex could be? She’d never been with a man who tempted her. But Toby drove her crazy.

She made no demur when Toby began stripping off her shirt. In fact, she did what she could to help him as long as it didn’t keep her from touching him. The sooner they were naked, the sooner she’d be completely happy. She was totally consumed with the experience. She wanted to be one with Toby for the rest of her life.

T
OBY KNEW
he was losing control. It had been so long since he’d had any sexual encounters that he wasn’t surprised. But he’d never experienced such surges, such uncontrollable desires.

Something kept nudging his brain, but his body was so in charge at the moment he couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to remember. He wanted Eliz
abeth naked and beneath him. He’d attack anything or anyone that kept him from reaching that goal. He did remember to move them into an empty stall so they’d have some straw for cushioning and some privacy.

At one point he pulled back. “Lizzie, are you sure?”

When she grabbed his neck to draw him back down, he gave up any attempt to think. All he could do was feel, and it felt like heaven.

There was one other point when he paused, a teaching so emphatic, so drilled in, that he thought of protection. But he loved Elizabeth, had plans for their future, and that precaution was easily dismissed. The force that drove him was so strong, he couldn’t stop.

When he finally got her jeans and panties far enough down her legs that he could enter her, he stopped removing things and turned to seduction. He stroked her and teased her with his fingers. Elizabeth responded with an eagerness that only increased his own ardor. However, when he entered her and felt the initial resistance, he realized what it was that he was supposed to remember.

She was a virgin.

Toby halted. He was about to deflower the love of his life? He was going to hurt her? Her first time would be half-dressed in a horse stall? He tried to pull back, to harness all that power driving him.

“Toby!” Elizabeth almost screamed. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop now. I can’t—I need—”

He did, too. Her cries made it impossible for him to pull back. He plunged past the obstacle and almost ended his dream prematurely. But he tried to take care of Elizabeth, to show her how incredible loving her could be. Slowly he began the age-old rhythm, barely hanging on until he felt her joining in, becoming lost in the sensations. When he felt the beginning of her release, he finally gave in to his own pleasure…and it was monumental.

He lay on top of her, stunned by the flow of happiness, by the sudden exhaustion after such a rapid surge of energy. He wasn’t sure he could move, much less walk.

“Toby?” Elizabeth whispered.

He froze. He expected anger, pain, retribution.

“That was—absolutely incredible. Is it like that all the time?”

He laid his forehead on hers, his eyes closed, and gave thanks he hadn’t disgusted her. Opening his eyes, he stared down at her flushed face. “I can’t tell you that, sweetheart. It’s never been that incredible for me. Until now with you.”

He realized they had a lot to talk about and rolled off her, afraid he would hurt her if he remained on top of her. “Uh, we need to talk,” he muttered as he stood, pulling up his underwear and jeans.

Elizabeth smiled up at him, lying there in disarray, not showing any shame or need for modesty, which pleased Toby. He didn’t want either of those things to ruin her first experience. He was distracted by that
thought. He was her only lover. Pride filled him. A ridiculous pride, he told himself, but it was there, like it or not.

He smiled at her and then frowned. She hadn’t begun to cover herself, and his body started to react…again. He couldn’t possibly—but his body was telling him he could. He stepped out of the stall. “Put on your clothes,” he ordered over his shoulder. How could he talk to her when he wanted her so soon again?

And they had to talk. Now. First of all, they wouldn’t be able to talk in the house. The only place would be Elizabeth’s room. And the parents would want to know what was going on. She couldn’t go to the Pad, either. His cousins would be shocked. So the barn was their only opportunity.

The most important decision to make was when they would be married. The sooner the better, especially since he didn’t think he’d be able to work a bed into their courtship and the hay was definitely not his favorite. Too scratchy.

Maybe the mothers could manage a small wedding by the weekend. He stood there in a daze, picturing himself on his honeymoon with Elizabeth, far away from the family he loved. He did love them, but he loved Elizabeth more.

“Toby? What’s wrong?”

The lazy, sated tones she’d used earlier were gone. Elizabeth sounded upset.

He spun around, ready to take her in his arms
again, if she was dressed. Undressed, it would be too tempting. To his relief, she was buttoning the last button on her blouse and he reached out for her arms.