Rancher at Risk (21 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Ryan paced the floor in the kitchen. He didn’t want to think about what Lianne had said in that very room last night.

But he wanted Lianne
there with him.

After they had talked, Becky and P.J. had wandered in for a drink of water. They’d stayed a while, chattering away, and it wasn’t until today that he’d realized Lianne hadn’t missed a word of the conversation.

She hadn’t let him miss anything, either. She’d told him everything Becky had said.

At the start of the second round of drinks, he had shaken his head, smiled at Lianne and run his hand down the length of her hair. Smooth as satin. Fine as silk. He wanted to see it spread out on her pillow. But he had taken a deep breath and said, “See you in the morning?”

She had smiled and nodded, her thoughts easy to read. She was happy he understood they wouldn’t share her bed while the kids were there.

Frustrated as it made him, he was happy to wait for tonight instead. Hell, who cared if they made it to the bedroom or if they did anything at all. He just wanted to be with her again.

But he didn’t know he’d be waiting this long.

Ten o’clock.

She’d left before noon to take the kids back home.

At the end of his day, he’d come back to an empty house. Frustrated desire gave way to concern; concern turned to worry; worry sucked him into old memories he didn’t want to have anymore.

He shoved them away before they could fully form, knowing he was overreacting, the way she had said he’d done that first day on Signal Street. But he was eaten up by the things he couldn’t control. By not knowing where she was, not knowing if she was safe, not being able to take charge and get answers and to make everything right.

To fix things.

He rubbed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair and walked over to the sink.

It was his turn now for a drink of water. By the time he’d taken a long, throat-soothing swig, he’d calmed down some.

When he heard the front door open and slam closed, he had no doubt who had just come home. He managed to walk down the hall and into the living room and to rest one shoulder against the stair rail. And he managed to smile, which wasn’t hard to do once he saw the wide grin on Lianne’s face.

Her eyes danced and she had her arms wrapped around her as if she had to keep the rest of her from dancing, too. “Kayla had the baby. Sam Junior.”

“Everyone okay?”

She nodded. “They’re fine. They’re both fine. Look.”

She reached into her bag and took out her cell phone.

On the screen, he saw a photo of her sister, Kayla, cradling a tiny blue-wrapped bundle in her arms. His throat tightened all over again, and he wished he’d brought the glass of water with him.

“They’re all fine. Becky’s ready to burst at being a big sister and Sam’s stopping people in the hospital hallway to announce the news.” She grinned.

He smiled back. He was happy for her, but somehow, standing just inches from him, she felt far away.

“We managed to get Becky into bed only an hour ago. She was overtired. After the council meeting on Monday, I’ll bring her back here. That will give her grandmother some time to spend with the baby. And to take a break.”

She laughed. The husky, throaty sound put her right there next to him again. Until now he hadn’t realized how much his body had relaxed once he’d seen she had walked in the door, safe. But now, he found every part of him tensing up again. For a different reason.

“Meanwhile…” She drawled the word. She held up the phone and pressed a button.

The light on the screen faded to black.

Her blue eyes sparkled.

* * *

“
R
YAN,
I
NEED
TO
ask you something.”

Her face looked wary now. He rested his hand flat on the bed and tried not to jump to conclusions. He tried not to think this trip to her bedroom might be doomed to end like the previous one.

“The first time we were here,” she continued, “my phone went off. I didn’t see it, but you did. And even though we were…in the middle of something, you stopped and told me.” Her eyebrows drew together. “Why did you do that?”

“Because I could hear it and see it and you couldn’t.”

“That’s all?”

“No.” He scowled. “Far as I’m concerned, people need to stop walking around like those things are surgically attached to their ears or their fingers. But still, I figured you had just as much right to answer your phone as somebody who could hear.”

“Oh.” She bit her bottom lip.

Damn, were those tears in her eyes? Maybe he’d done the wrong thing, had hurt her when he’d tried to do just the opposite. “Bad move?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Good move. That’s the sweetest thing any man has ever done for me. Any
hearing
man,” she added, laughing.

The sound caught at him. Made him realize how much he’d come to love it.

“I wouldn’t have answered the phone just then,” she said, “if not for Kayla being so close to having the baby.”

“Why not?”

“You know.”

“Tell me.”

She blushed. “Because we were just about to do then what we’re about to do now.”

“Nothing to stop us tonight.”

“No.”

Her smile made his heart pound. He slid his hand to the top of her blouse. With every button he unbuttoned, he envisioned another piece of clothing he had once seen her wear. The skirt flipping around her knees the night of the party. That ruffled blouse that brought out the blue in her eyes. The damp towel wrapped around her shower-moistened hips. The exercise gear clinging to every curve.

When all the buttons were unbuttoned, the snaps unsnapped, the zippers unzipped—his and hers—she lay beside him covered in nothing but cool, soft, smooth skin—tanned here, pale there, rosy-pink in other places.

And it was all his for the taking.

His body hardened and his palms itched and his heart thundered against his ribs at the thought of finally,
finally
getting what he’d wanted for so long…the chance to warm her all over.

He brushed his fingers across her cheek and lowered his head. She shifted against the pillow.

Oh, hell, no.
If she pulled away now, if she’d changed her mind, if she sent him packing, he’d never survive.

“Turn off the lamp, please.”

He froze. “The lamp. You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” she whispered.

After a long moment, he reached for the switch. Who could blame him that it took three tries to find it. Or that he needed a deep, calming breath once the room had gone dark. He knew what making love without the lights on meant for her.

And he swore he’d prove, without a word, that she’d made the right decision by trusting him.

* * *

S
HE
HAD
NEVER
made love in the dark.

Before this her nights had been filled with obligations, with having to read lips and to anticipate needs in a room where the lights stayed on.

The experience hadn’t prepared her for a night with Ryan.

With him she had no obligations, no expectations to meet.

When she had asked him to turn off the lamp, she had read his face. He had understood she was saying she trusted him.

And he didn’t let her down.

Being unable to see disoriented her at first, but it excited her, too, in the unexpectedness of his breath on her cheek, his lips against her throat, his hands sliding over her hips to bring her closer.

In the dark, they were equal, each willing to share with the other. Wanting to give to the other. Eager to take turns.

In the dark, without vision, without sound, her pleasure came from scent, touch, taste. She sought every one of these from Ryan.

And he didn’t let her down.

She loved this man.

She loved the cleft in his chin and his changeable hazel eyes. His broad shoulders and warm hands. His laugh that put creases in his cheeks.

She loved the concern in his face when she told him about her childhood. The understanding he had shown when he asked about Becky. The caring in his eyes when he talked about his son.

She loved the way he loved her, in her bed in his arms in the dark.

Chapter Seventeen

The sun was just coming up when Lianne left the house the next morning. Ryan had already gone to start his day, but she saw him astride his horse near the corral, looking over the new stock they had brought in earlier in the week. Even now, just the sight of him made her flush at the memory of how the darkness had freed her and what they had done.

By the time she reached him, he had dismounted and stood waiting. The expression on his face made her heart thump double time.

“Couldn’t stay away?” he asked.

She laughed. “You wish. I’ve got a big day ahead of me and I wanted to get an early start.” Holding up her hand, she tapped her thumb to start the list. “First I have to finalize and practice the presentation for tomorrow—”

He curled his fingers around hers. She looked up.

“I told you not to worry about that, Lianne. I’ll do the presentation.”

“No—”

“Yes.” He dropped his hand. “I’m ranch foreman, and responsibility for the ranch comes down to me. Caleb’s trusting me.”

I trusted you.

“I’m still overseeing everything,” he continued, “including the school. That means the presentation.”

“I’m afraid it doesn’t.”

“It does. I’ve talked to Caleb about it.”

Now her heart seemed to cease beating altogether. “You…
what?
” She knew she hadn’t misread those words. She just couldn’t believe he’d said them. She couldn’t believe what they meant.

He had gone behind her back to Caleb.

After all that had happened between them last night, after what she had said and felt and believed…

Tears of frustration burned behind her eyelids, tears of hurt she wouldn’t show and couldn’t afford to feel. What a fool. What an idiot for beginning to believe in her dreams and forgetting cut-and-dried facts.

Even after all she had said to him, he wouldn’t back off. He would never let her do her job on her own. He’d shown that all along.

She tried to ignore the tightness in her chest at the thought of the damage he’d done by going to Caleb. By destroying her credibility with her boss.

By proving trust flowed only one way between them and equality went only as far as her bed.

She took a deep breath. Giving way to emotion again wouldn’t get the job done. And bottom line it was the kids who mattered. “My notes and the presentation are on my laptop. You’re welcome to use them. If you have trouble understanding anything, I’ll be around late this afternoon, after I’m back with the scouts.”

“The scouts?” He frowned. “Where are you going?”

She gestured past the bunkhouse, past the construction site, to the western boundary and the mountain ridge. “If they don’t have anything better on
their
agenda, I want to take them for a hike.”

He nodded. “All right. If you set things up, let me know. I’ll go along with you.”

Despite the sun creeping over the horizon, she shivered with a chill. Then hot anger rushed through her. “Ryan. I can’t fight you for the presentation, but I can handle taking a group of scouts on a hike. If something goes wrong and I’m not prepared for it, they will be.” He would never know how much it cost her to say those words. She forced a laugh. “That’s their motto, isn’t it? Be Prepared.”

“It won’t hurt to have another adult along.”

“Another? And who do you believe the other ones are? The scoutmasters? Because I know you don’t include me on that list.” She ran her fingers through her hair and tugged. “You act as if I can’t manage without you. You always have. But I
can.
” She brought both fists down for emphasis. To convince him. “I’m a grown woman and have lived on my own for years. Without your help. Without anyone’s help. And I’m still alive to talk about it.”

His shoulders jerked as if he’d recoiled from an impact.

Her breath caught. Her final words hung in the air between them like print on a page. She couldn’t take back those last few words and wouldn’t take back the rest. Instead, she inhaled slowly, pain tightening her chest again. And she waited.

He looked at her, his eyes dark and his mouth a straight line and that muscle in his jaw ticking. Ticking…

He didn’t say a word. Didn’t make a gesture. Didn’t move at all.

Turning, she ran blindly toward the barn. She stumbled through the doorway and grabbed a set of reins hanging from a hook. Determination steadied her hands as she went through the steps she had copied from Tony.

Outside the barn again, she tightened the cinch and mounted. As if following the path of the sun, the mare turned to look toward the west.

Lianne tried to smile. Ryan might not get it, but at least the horse knew what she needed.

They trotted past the bunkhouse where the cowboys had already begun their day, past the cabins where the scouts still slept.

When they reached open land, she took the mare into a gallop, leaning into the rhythm, absorbing the movement, outrunning her thoughts and replacing them with the visuals around her.

But when she left the mare in her usual resting spot at the base of the mountain and started up the trail carved among the trees, the thoughts caught up to her again. They raced through her mind the way her horse had galloped across the ranch.

She understood Ryan now that he’d shared his past, but he still didn’t understand her. Would he get it if she used words he could relate to—bridles and bits and reins and saddle blankets?

Then
would he see how his doubts and resistance and need to control put restraints on her? How they set limitations she couldn’t accept?

She hurried up the trail, wanting only to get to the clearing. Needing the shrine, the sunshine, the peace. The quiet.

Sunlight glared on the surface of the stream. She squinted against the brilliance. Blinked hard to clear her eyes.