Rainbow Boys (11 page)

“So? Get to know him and then suck his dick.”

Kyle tapped Nelson lightly on the head. “Can’t you think about anything else?” Nelson thought for a moment. “No.”

When they pulled in front of Nelson’s house, his mom was coming out the front door with a man she introduced as a dad from PFLA G.

Nelson watched as the gray-haired guy opened the car door for her.

“He seems nice,” Kyle said.

Nelson watched them. “He’s okay.”

A tticus, Nelson’s black Labrador, barked and jumped as they went inside. Nelson flopped onto the couch. “It seems like everyone’s got someone except me. My mom’s dating Mr. PFLA G, Shea’s got Caitlin, you have Jason—” Kyle interrupted, “I do not have Jason.”

Nelson buried his head in a cushion, lamenting his existence, then rolled over. “Shea thinks that new guy, Jeremy, is interested in me.

He is cute. I hope you don’t mind me talking this way. Let me know if it bothers you.”

“Why would it bother me?”

“Well,” Nelson said, “I don’t want you to be jealous.”

“Jealous?” Kyle said. “Why would I be jealous? If you like him, you should talk to him.” Nelson thought about it. “He probably won’t come back.”

Together the boys made stir-fry and ate in the family room. They watched the video, a comedy about two guys in New York who wanted to have sex with each other but couldn’t find a private place. Nelson wished he had such problems.

A fter the movie, they watched the cartoon channel, where Pepe Le Pew, the romantic French skunk, smothered a cat with kisses while the cat tried to scramble away.

“You know Jason wants you,” Nelson told Kyle as they carried their plates back to the kitchen.

“He does not. He has a girlfriend.”

Nelson ignored him, stacking their plates on the counter. “He’s confused about being queer, so he expects you to come on to him. You can help him get in touch with his inner queen.”

Kyle swatted him with the dish towel. “Would you shut up?” He bent over and loaded the dishwasher.

That was just like Kyle, Nelson mused—helpful, kind, sweet. Nice butt, too.

They went to hang out in Nelson’s room. While Kyle put a CD on, Nelson pulled a magazine from his dresser. “Want to see my new Blueboy?”

Kyle pushed the magazine away from him. “No way! I never want to see a porno again.” Nelson flipped through the magazine while Kyle rolled around on the floor with A tticus. The Labrador scrambled around the room, and Kyle pretended to chase after him. Then A tticus brought his chew sock from the hall. Kyle tossed it for him to fetch. A tticus brought it back, leapt onto Kyle, and started licking his face.

Kyle tried to hold him down. “Hey, stop that!” But when Kyle let him go, A tticus started to hump his leg.

“Uh-oh,” said Nelson. “Jason’s got competition.”

Kyle pulled his leg away. “A tticus!”

The dog sat down and twisted around, licking himself.

Nelson stood up and stretched. “Come on, Kyle. Let’s do something!” The sex scenes in the video, the naked men in the magazine, and watching Kyle roll around on the carpet had worked him up.

“Like what?” Kyle asked.

Nelson tossed the magazine aside. “I don’t know. A ren’t you dying to find out what sex is like?” Kyle gave a shrug. “I can wait.”

“Wait! Life’s too short, Kyle. It’s passing us by. I get bashed every day for being queer, and I haven’t even kissed a guy yet. That’s pretty pathetic.” He shook a cigarette from his pack. Then a brilliant idea dawned on him. “Hey, how about if we practice?” Kyle raised an eyebrow. “Practice what?”

“You know …” Nelson lit up a cigarette. “Making out.”

Kyle pressed his glasses up the ridge of his nose, looking confused. “With who?” God, Kyle could be dense.

“You mean—” He suddenly sat upright. “You’re crazy!”

“Why not?” Nelson insisted. “It’s just practice.”

Kyle shook his head. “I can’t kiss you. It would feel like … kissing my sister.”

“So I have tits and pussy now?”

“You’re my friend.” Kyle crossed his arms. “It would feel too weird.”

Nelson cupped his hand over his mouth to test his breath. “You afraid I have A IDS? Rabies?” Kyle glared at him. “Mad cow disease.”

“Screw you!” Nelson puffed on his cigarette. “You’ll let my dog lick your face, but you won’t kiss me? That makes me feel really special.”

A guilty look crossed Kyle’s face. “It just doesn’t feel right.”

Nelson decided to make the most of Kyle’s guilt. “I’ll put on some mood music.” He ran to the stereo and grabbed a Tony Bennett CD.

“It’ll be fun.” He put out his cigarette and walked back toward Kyle, making pucker and smack sounds, like loud kisses. A tticus sat up, ears pricked.

“No way.” Kyle shook his head.

Nelson threw his arms around Kyle. Kyle pulled away from him. “Cut it out!” He sounded angry, but he was laughing.

“Mon chéri!” Nelson said, imitating the French accent of Pepe Le Pew. “The night is young, the moon is full, and you are so handsome!” He began smacking kisses on Kyle’s neck. The downy softness surprised him.

A tticus barked and paced beside them.

“Nelson, stop it!” Kyle pulled away.

Nelson lost his balance and fell, pulling Kyle down with him. A s they wrestled on the floor A tticus pawed at them, barking. Nelson laughed as he struggled. Kyle grabbed Nelson’s arms and climbed on top of him. “You going to stop it?” His cap fell off and rolled away.

A tticus jumped on Kyle, whining and licking his face. Kyle loosened his grip on Nelson to push the dog away, and Nelson rose up to kiss Kyle on the mouth.

Kyle swung to block him, but instead his hand hit Nelson’s chin with a smack. Nelson’s head flew backward and hit the floor. For a moment, he lay dazed.

Kyle let go of him. “A re you okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

Nelson’s chin throbbed. He felt like crying. He rolled over, burying his face. Even though he’d cried in front of Kyle before, for some reason now he felt ashamed.

He felt Kyle’s hand lay gently on his shoulder. “Nelson, you’re my best friend. I don’t feel that way about you.”

“Fuck you! Okay?”

Kyle flinched. “I’m sorry.”

Nelson wanted to say something mean. But his jaw hurt too much. “Just leave me alone.” He rolled over.

He heard Kyle pad across the carpet and leave the room. Then he heard the front door close. He reached up for his jaw and worked it back and forth. He went to the mirror, expecting to see his face horribly disfigured—or at least bruised. But his jaw didn’t look any different.

He noticed the bright orange sheet of paper Kyle had in the youth group meeting lying on the carpet. It must have fallen out of Kyle’s pocket when they were wrestling. He unfolded the piece of paper. Kyle must have written JASON CARRILLO, JASON CARRILLO a hundred times.

Nelson tore the paper in half, then ripped it again and again and again.

Jason stared at the 88 on his quiz, the highest algebra grade he’d ever gotten.

Perez patted him on the back. “Congratulations. Who’s helping you?”

“Kyle Meeks.”

Perez nodded. “Good choice. Kyle’s a bright guy. Keep it up.”

Jason stopped by Kyle’s locker and high-fived him. “Can you believe it? Look at this.” Kyle gazed at the paper and smiled. “See? You can do it.”

“Yeah, with you. Can you come over this weekend?”

Jason felt someone tug on his arm. He turned to see Corey. “Come on, man. We’re going to be late for practice.”

“A ll right,” Jason said, turning back to Kyle. “Sunday afternoon?” They agreed on two o’clock as Corey led Jason away.

“Doesn’t he hang with Nelly?” Corey whispered.

“So?” Jason shrugged. “He helps me with math. Thanks to him I got an eighty-eight.” He waved his quiz to show Corey.

“Yeah?” Corey said. “What’s he want in return?”

“Hey. Lay off. He’s a friend.”

“Take it easy,” Corey told him. “A ll I’m saying is be careful. You know how people talk.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Jason said, though he knew Corey was right. To be honest, it did bother him. It made him angry that school had to be this way. Couldn’t he have a gay friend without people assuming he was gay?

Jason wished Corey hadn’t seen him with Kyle. During practice he lost the ball twice and missed his foul shots. What was worse, the assistant coach from Penn State was visiting. Each time Jason messed up, Coach Cameron shook his head.

When the sports bus dropped him home, Jason heard his parents arguing all the way from the driveway. His dad’s voice had that slur—

he’d been drinking.

“You don’t like how I treat him? Maybe I should just move out. Then you’d be happy.” Jason knew his dad was talking about him. He bit a fingernail and opened the kitchen door.

His dad leaned against the kitchen counter, a beer bottle in his hand. His mom sat at the table reading one of her self-help books, titled The Courage to Change. She looked up as Jason came in. “Hi, honey. How was practice?” He bent over and kissed her cheek. “Okay.”

His dad grabbed a paper bag off the kitchen counter. “You left your trash in my truck.” He threw the bag at Jason.

Jason caught it. “Sorry.” He tossed the bag into the trash.

His dad pointed his bottle at him. “That’s the last time I warn you. Use my truck, then clean it. Hear me?”

“No, I’m deaf.”

His dad slammed his bottle down on the counter and raised the back of his hand to smack him.

Jason stepped away. “Keep your hands off me.”

His mom stood up, spreading her arms between them. “Would you both stop it!” Jason stared at his dad and his dad glared back, curling his lip and muttering, “Pansy.” He finished his bottle and opened the refrigerator. “There’s no more beer?”

His mom glanced at Jason, then at his dad. “I didn’t buy any.”

“You forgot my beer?”

“I didn’t forget.” She opened her book again. “I’m not buying you any more beer.” His dad flung the refrigerator door closed and grabbed his truck keys. “Then I’ll get my own.” His mom closed her book. “You shouldn’t drive.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you’d bought my beer.” He turned and stormed out of the kitchen. The front door slammed, shaking the house. A fork fell off the counter. Jason picked it up.

Outside the kitchen window the truck started and backed out of the driveway.

“A re you okay?” Jason asked.

His mom leaned her head into her hands and nodded silently.

Jason put his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I keep hoping things will get better. Sometimes they do, then …” She trailed off with a shrug.

Things never got better, Jason thought. The fights only got worse. Things would never improve so long as he remained at home.

“Maybe if I left—”

Her reaction was instant. “Honey, I’ve asked you not to talk about that. You don’t leave until you go to college.” Jason doubted he could stand his dad that long. He almost said so but didn’t want to upset his mom any further.

Sunday afternoon Kyle showed up at 2:00 on the dot. Jason’s mom brought them a tray of orange slices and told them to “Study hard,” then left for her A l-A non meeting. While Kyle explained variables, Melissa colored beside them on the carpet.

She proudly handed her drawing to Kyle. “It’s for you.”

“Wow.” Kyle grinned. “It’s pretty. Thank you.”

Jason couldn’t tell what it was. A fter Melissa went to play in her room, he and Kyle joked about what the drawing might be. Rex came in, and Jason showed Kyle how the cat fetched.

Jason felt relaxed with Kyle. He was so easy to get along with. He seemed so normal. Sometimes he wondered if Kyle was really gay or maybe just afraid to get laid with a girl, like he had been till he met Debra.

When they were between math equations, he asked Kyle, “Did you ever have a girlfriend?”

“No.” Kyle gave him a bewildered stare. “Why?”

“Just curious. You never wanted to, like, do it with a girl?”

“No. I guess I’m a Kinsey six.”

“A what?”

“A Kinsey six. In the fifties, Dr. Kinsey found that most people aren’t exclusively gay or straight. He came up with a scale, zero to six, from totally heterosexual to completely homosexual. I’m pretty sure I’m at the end of the scale. I’ve kissed girls, but …” He made a face like he’d sucked a lemon.

Jason thought about what he said, wondering where he fell on the scale. A gain the hours flew, and it seemed his mom had just left when she returned. She invited Kyle to dinner, and Jason encouraged him to stay.

“Sure!” Kyle agreed.

The boys helped prepare the meal. Kyle fixed their beverages and Jason set the table. “How many places?” he asked his mom.

She sighed. “Five, in case your dad comes home.”

Jason hoped he wouldn’t.

During dinner, his mom asked Kyle if he played basketball.

“I think they’d have to widen the hoop for me to make a basket.”

They laughed. It was more than Jason had laughed in months. A fter dessert Kyle helped him clean up. When they were done, he didn’t want Kyle to leave.