Rain In My Heart (17 page)

Chapter Thirty Two

The dismay was like a cannon ball thudding into me.  Leon hugged me, but I could feel the shudder in his body.  He was sobbing. When we could
n’
t bear to watch the empty expanse of water any longer, we stepped away from the doorway.  One by one, we gathered at the candles.  No one said anything.  There were no words suitable. 

              The rain started again, pattering on the glass, gently at first, but gradually growing in intensity.  It sounds silly, but at the time, it felt like it was doing it deliberately, to spite us.  For me, it was the snapping point.

            
 ‘
I want it to stop
,’
I sobbed, shaking all over.
 ‘
I just want to see my family and go back to normal
.
’

              Leon hugged me tighter.  In a different situation, I would have been delighted.  But here and now, his hug was barely enough to keep me from collapsing in a heap.  I needed it.  It was medicine.  I gripped his shoulders, not because they were his, but because I had to hold on to something - otherwise I do
n’
t think I coul
d’
ve continued.

            
 ‘
H
e’
s strong
,’
said Curtis, breaking the silence.
 ‘
H
e’
s got a killer front crawl.  I bet h
e’
s swum himself out of it
.
’

              Leon shifted. 

            
 ‘
You think so
?
’

‘
He won the Hurst swimming gala two years running.  I remember when he held up the trophy.  Everyone called him the Human Sea-Snake.  If anyon
e’
s got a chance i
t’
s him
.
’

‘
His hands are massive
.
’

‘
And his shoulders.  Le
t’
s face it, the gu
y’
s built like a monster truck. I bet h
e’
s sitting on the grass right now, wondering what the hell he just did, wishing he had a can of beer
.
’

Curtis laughed, but I could see his eyes were glistening with tears.  They were best friends when they were kids, Curtis and Greg.  Hard to believe, because they were so different now.  I guess they grew apart, got into different things, different crowds.

‘
Maybe - ' I said, giddily hopeful
.‘
Maybe the
y’
re
all
okay?  Maybe Gre
g’
s found Gemma and Molly and everythin
g’
s back to normal
?
’

Byron coughed, raised an eyebrow.

‘
Why sugar-coat it
?’
he said.
 ‘
Why get your hopes up
?
’

He was talking to all of us, but particularly me.  Doing that thing again, opening his mouth, saying tactless stuff.  I trembled with anger. 
I’
m not saying I did
n’
t see his point.  I knew we were clutching at straws, but sometimes people need that.   They need to cling to whatever hope they can find, because the alternative is too upsetting.  It helped, the fact that Curtis was reminding us about Gre
g’
s physical power, bigging up his chances of survival.  It made us all feel stronger. 

Byro
n’
s comment did the opposite.   None of us wanted to hear it, so we ignored him.  I thought that would be enough.  I mean, a normal person would read the atmosphere, would
n’
t they?  The
y’
d realise when they were saying the wrong thing.  The
y’
d know when to keep their thoughts to themselves.  But this was Byron.

‘
Statistically
,’
he continued.
 ‘
Gre
g’
s chances are poor.  If the torrent itself has
n’
t drowned him, then i
t’
s likely h
e’
s collided with some kind of obstacle.  And whatever h
e’
s collided with, h
e’
ll have hit it at speed. That lamp-post?  Or the tree?  Or a submerged car?  Your car, in fact, Curtis?  Where did that end up
?
’

Curtis leapt to his feet.

‘
Yo
u’
re sick
!
’

‘
Hang on
,’
said Byron.
 ‘
I have
n’
t finished.  Ther
e’
s also the contamination -
I’
m only telling you so yo
u’
ll understan
d–
even the tiniest sip could make someone sick.  If Greg does survive h
e’
ll need his stomach pumped
-
’

‘
Wha
t’
s
wrong
with you?  Yo
u’
re tapped in the head
!
’

Curtis balled his fists.  The veins in his temples looked like they were going to pop. 
I’
d never seen him angry before.  He looked possessed.  He picked Byron up by the collar, whamed him against the table.  He was
n’
t big.  He matched Byron for height and build, but the rage seemed to give him twice the strength. 

My heart raced.  I looked at Leon.

‘
Do something
,’
I whispered.
 ‘
Do
n’
t let them fight
.
’

But Leon did
n’
t move.  He just held my hands, held them tight, like he did
n’
t want me to be scared. 

Chapter Thirty Three

              The first blow caught Byron on the nose, where the bone jutted and the skin was thin.  I was surprised Curtis had such a good punch.  H
e’
d obviously been taught to drive his arm, put his whole body into it - a proper boxe
r’
s punch.  Even Byron noticed.

‘
Good form
,’
he joked, through his daze.
 ‘
Nice
.
’

Curtis ignored him and swung for a second time, landing his fist against Byro
n’
s left temple.  The sound of knuckle to bone was horrible.  Once again, I begged Leon to intervene, but he stayed fixed to the spot, hands tight around mine.  Curtis threw another punch, splitting Byro
n’
s eyebrow. Like Greg, he was in another zone, acting without thinking.  Momentarily, he stepped away, then went for a shove.  He threw both hands into Byro
n’
s chest.  The force was so heavy, Byron gasped for breath.  He lost his balance, fell against the table.  As he regained composure he looked up at Curtis.

‘
Pain is only a feeling
,’
he said, with a glaze in his eyes.
 ‘
Do what you like
.
’

He curled his arms in front of his face to protect his glasses.  Curtis cried and sobbed, like it ruined him to do it, but he did
n’
t stop.  I knew what he wanted.  He wanted Byron to fight back.  He wanted to take a blow himself, to feel the hurt, a physical hurt that would obliterate the mental one. 

It would only end if Byron fought back, if he kicked, punched, smacked Curtis in return.

But he would
n’
t.  Somehow, I knew he would
n’
t.

He looked serene.  It was as if h
e’
d taken his mind somewhere else, to the lines of the window frames, the cracks in the glass, the clouds, the stars, the moon.  Suddenly he started to mutter:

‘
Do
n’
t even know how to fight, do you Ryan?  You just stand there and take it, do
n’
t you, Ryan?  Facking moron!  You do
n’
t belong in this family
!
’

It sounded like he was going mad, but I knew what he was doing.  He was recalling fights with his dad, reliving bad memories.  He, too, had been pushed into a zone.  Curtis hovered, pulled his arm back, like he wanted to go for him one more time, but
I’
d had enough.  I broke free from Leo
n’
s grip and flew forward.

‘
Stop it
!’
I cried, jumping onto his back.
 ‘
Just stop it! Leave him alone now! Enough! 
ENOUGH
!
’

We both fell, landed clumsily on the floor, lay breathless.  In the half-light, Curtis looked ragged, a person on the edge, a shell-shocked soldier.  His arms were locked at his sides.  His face was covered in sweat.  Meanwhile, Byron stumbled to his feet.  He wiped the blood from his brow, tightened his knee bandage, adjusted his glasses and walked away.  After all that, he simply walked away.

Chapter Thirty Four

Tears streamed down Curti
s’
sface.  He could
n’
t speak, could
n’
t look at us.  The atmosphere was awful.  With Byron gone, we were three and we were truly lost.  Our happiness, the fun w
e’
d had, it seemed like an eternity away.  I crept towards Leon.  All I wanted was a cuddle, a hug, the warmth of his body to sooth the sorrow.   I reached out to him, waited for his embrace, but instead he stiffened and sat back.

            
 ‘
My hip
,’
I said, rubbing my leg.
 ‘
I think I bruised it when I fell
.
’

            
 ‘
Shame
,’
he replied, with a coldness I did
n’
t understand.

              I tried to take his hand in mine, but he shuffled away.

              'Wha
t’
s the matter?' I said.  'Why are you avoiding me
?
’

              He stared at the window, at the pestering rain.  I placed my hand on his shoulder, but I could feel th
e‘
leave me alon
e’
tension all around him.  It did
n’
t make sense.  In the very moment I needed him, and he needed me, he was pushing me away.

            
 ‘
At least tell me what the problem is
?’
             

              Eventually he turned around, but it was
n’
t the warm response I craved.  His eyes were full of fury.                           

‘
Whose side are you on
?’
he hissed.
 ‘
You know what Byro
n’
s done. You know about the photos and the phones.  And you
know
h
e’
s done something to Gemma
-
’

            
 ‘
I do
n’
t.  Not for sure.  I mean, we do
n’
t have proof
-
’

            
 ‘
We do
n’
t
need
proof.  I
t’
s obvious.  She went missing just after he came back. And all that stuff about a monster cutting his knee?  H
e’
s playing games with us and yet you
still
want to defend him
-
’

              I shut my eyes.  I could
n’
t hear it.  Curtis, Gemma - they always saw things in black and white, good and evil, yes and no.  But Leon?  I thought, I
hoped
Leon was smarter, more sensitive than that.  Then it dawned on me.

‘
Tha
t’
s why you held my hands, is
n’
t it
?’
I said, coming to my senses.
 ‘
When Curtis attacked Byron, you held on to my hands and you would
n’
t let go.  But you were
n’
t doing it to comfort me.  You were doing it to stop me.  You were holding me back, were
n’
t you?  You did
n’
t
want
me stop Curtis! And you did
n’
t want to stop him yourself, even though I asked you to.  You did
n’
t want to stop Curtis, because you were
glad
to see Byron get hurt
.
’

              Leo
n’
s face contorted. 

‘
He asked for it
,’
he said.
 ‘
Do
n’
t you see?  He deserved it
.
’

            
 ‘
Why? 
Why
?
’

I burst into tears.  Curtis, Byron, Marshal
l–
everything.  It was too much.  

            
 ‘
Yo
u’
re all the same
!’
I cried, the sobs exploding out of me, the disappointment searing.
 ‘
Why
do you have to be the same?  Yo
u’
re animals!  Yo
u’
re all the same
!
’