Rage Within (9 page)

Finally excusing herself, she went upstairs to the bedroom where Jack sat alone in the dark.

“Hey,” she said from the door.

A few weeks ago, Jack had taken a baseball bat to the head during a Bagger fight. He’d been left blind and suffering from terrible migraines. No one knew if the blindness would last forever or if it was temporary. There weren’t exactly doctors around to give a proper diagnosis.

“Is that a beautiful woman I hear?” Jack said. “I’d get up but I’d probably get lost trying to find you.”

She came over and sat carefully down beside him. Covered in blankets, her pale friend didn’t look nearly as strong as he had a few weeks before. It was really hard. Jack was handling
it well; he was the first to make all the dumb blind jokes. There was always a smile on his face but Aries could see how he was forcing the edges of his mouth to turn upward. His eyes were dull. They stared off into space, seeing only blackness. Sometimes he’d blink, squeezing the corners of his eyelids tightly as if trying to block out the pain. He’d always insist he was fine if Aries tried questioning him, though. But no matter how hard Jack tried to remain positive, Aries knew the reality of the situation wasn’t lost on him. Having a blind person around made things that much harder. If the time came when they’d have to leave quickly, it wouldn’t be that simple. Jack couldn’t run.

Every time she looked at him, she couldn’t help but feel it was her fault. She hadn’t saved him. And she knew for certain she’d never be able to leave him, no matter the consequences.

“How are you feeling?”

He smiled. “Good. Head hurts a bit, but I’m used to that.”

“Do you want some pills?” On the bedside table was an assortment of painkillers. Tylenol. Advil. Aspirin. There were other brands with long unreadable names that packed more of a punch, courtesy of Nathan raiding a pharmacy a few weeks ago. None of them really worked well enough, but Jack had tried them all just the same.

What Jack really needed was an MRI or an X-ray or some other sort of treatment that only came from a hospital.

“No pills,” Jack said. “But you can tell me how your day went. And don’t try to lie. I can hear your voice. I know you’re hurting.”

“If it’s just the same, I’d rather not talk about it right now,” she said. “It was hard. I should have known better. Can we leave it at that?”

“Fair enough.”

That was the great thing about Jack. He never pushed or prodded. He accepted what was.

She stayed for a few minutes longer and then left for the bedroom she shared with Joy and Eve. They’d moved extra bedding from other rooms so the floor was wall-to-wall mattresses. Kicking off her shoes, she sat down on the bed and pulled a pillow close to her chest.

She had a new family now. But knowing for certain she’d lost the old one still hurt.

Closing her eyes, she waited for sleep.

*   *   *

When she woke up it was dark. No one had called her for dinner, or perhaps they had and she hadn’t heard them. Rolling over, she checked the small alarm clock that was half hidden under the mattress. It was a little after ten. She’d slept just over four hours.

“Great,” she mumbled to herself.

She picked her hoodie up off the floor and pulled it over her head before heading out into the hallway. She checked in on Jack and found him sleeping. Then she went down to where everyone was in the living room sitting around a small candle. The light flickered and shadows bounced off the walls. When they first moved into the safe house, they’d covered the backs of the window blinds with blankets. From outside no one could tell the extra covering was there. This way they could have a minimal amount of light in the evening and still be safe.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” she asked.

“Because you looked so cute,” Joy said. “And no one could make themselves heard over that much snoring.” She giggled and ducked as if she thought Aries might take a swing at her. “It’s not like my meal was anything to write home about.
There are some leftovers in the kitchen. Jack wasn’t very hungry so he only ate a few bites. Probably cold by now, but it can’t be any worse than when it was warm.”

“You’re the best cook here,” she said as she headed to the kitchen. “We’d be lost without you and you know it.”

Mason was sitting alone on the counter in the dark and looking out the window. Holding on to the little glass vial he always carried, he turned it around absently in his fingers a few times before stuffing it into his pocket. He picked up a can of soda and took a long drink.

“Going out tonight?” she asked.

He jumped, spilling Pepsi down his shirt. Cursing, he reached out and started wiping at the mess with his hand.

“Nervous?” she asked. There was a plate on the table with a napkin resting on top of it. She pulled it off, revealing some sort of pasta dish. Grabbing a fork, she began to eat. It was cold but it still tasted good enough. Too bad there wasn’t any bread left. A slice of garlic toast would be perfect.

“Clementine and Michael aren’t back yet,” he said as he tore off a piece of paper towel and tried to soak up the soda from his shirt.

She stopped shoveling food into her mouth. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

The all-too-common cold feeling crept along her spine and up into the roots of her hair. “What time did they say they’d be back?” She glanced toward the living room, wondering why no one had bothered to tell her that a few minutes ago.

“No idea. I don’t think the others are too worried,” he said. “They’ve been late before.”

“But you’re worried.”

He nodded. “A little, but I’m sure they’re fine. Just because
you
think it’s safer to travel after dark doesn’t mean
everyone wants to do it. They probably decided to spend the night. There’ll be lots of good hiding spots on campus. Maybe they found other people. There could be a dozen reasons.”

“Maybe she found Heath.” But even as she said it, she knew just how doubtful it was. Vancouver was a huge city. The odds of Clementine finding her brother were slim. Even if he had made it all the way from Seattle, there was still the chance he might be dead. Although Clementine knew it, she was still determined to remain overly optimistic.

Aries often wished she shared her new friend’s positivity.

“We can give them a day or two,” Mason said. “Then everyone should consider moving on. If they’ve been caught by the Baggers, it’s only a matter of time before they let them know we’re here.”

“Clem and Mike would never rat us out.”

“They might if the Baggers use extreme measures,” he said. “Even the strongest person might reveal anything to make the pain stop.”

“You think they’d torture them?”

“Yes. Without a doubt.”

She put the plate back down on the table. She wasn’t hungry anymore. Instead she zipped up her sweatshirt, pulling up the hood and tucking her hair inside.

“Going out?” he said. There was a smile on his face she didn’t much like.

She shrugged.

“Don’t worry; I’ll keep your secret. I’ll tell them you’ve created a lab in the basement and you’re breeding monster fighting rats or something.”

“Gee, thanks.”

*   *   *

Traveling at night
was
much easier than moving around in the day. There were more shadows to hide in. She bypassed Nathan, who was doing the evening shift, by sneaking around the back way. It didn’t take long for her to walk down toward Kitsilano Beach. It was a nice enough night, not too cold and it wasn’t raining. The sky was dark and she could see the moon was a half sliver hidden behind a few clouds.

The beach was empty. Gone were the days when couples walked hand in hand along the water. No one had time to be romantic anymore.

She cut through the parking lot, her feet softly treading on the concrete. She went slowly, trying to avoid stepping in the piles of litter that were no longer being picked up by the city’s sanitation crew. There was a lot of paper, mostly flyers and local newspapers that the wind scattered about. She came across the occasional food wrapper, but there weren’t many. The survivors had more important things to do than drop by the beach to eat their lunch. Even the rats weren’t hanging out anymore. They’d fled to the supermarkets and rotting fruit-and-vegetable stands, where the pickings were better. Maybe that was one of the reasons the Baggers were burning the bodies instead of leaving them in their homes to rot.

She sat down on a bench close to the water and waited. She’d been here the past several nights. She’d close her eyes and listen. The ocean spoke to her, a steady sound of water crashing against the sand. For a few brief minutes she could forget everything and almost imagine the city the way it once was. Over the roar of the surf, she almost heard car horns, people talking, even ambulances and fire trucks as they blared their sirens. Every time she opened her eyes, there would be a jolt of disbelief when she looked across the bay and didn’t see the lights from the thousands of condos, shops, and office buildings.

Downtown Vancouver was now a dead zone, just like the rest of the world.

She could, however, see a soft shimmer of light from the Plaza of Nations, where the Baggers were assembling the survivors. She figured they had to be running generators. But why? What were they doing to those poor people?

Farther down on the beach, a few seagulls argued over something only birds could understand. She thought she saw a stray dog, but it ran off before she got a better view. Could have been a coyote or a skunk; it was hard to tell in the darkness.

She saw him coming across the parking lot. Head down, face covered by both a hoodie and the aforementioned lack of streetlights. Her stomach lurched out of fear and anticipation. Biting down on her cheek, she ignored the urge to run. There was always the chance the moving shadow might not be the person she expected. A few nights ago she’d had to run and hide under a picnic table while a few Baggers walked by sharing a bottle of whiskey. Luckily for her, their inability to walk in a straight line saved her. But as the figure approached and his face became visible in the moonlight, she relaxed.

“Hey.” Daniel stopped at the bench.

“You came.”

She was always surprised to see him, although he hadn’t missed a single day yet. For someone so determined to stay away from people, he didn’t seem to want to stay away from her. In a way it made her feel really good. On the other hand, it frustrated her that he still remained so vague about where he was staying and why he wanted to be alone.

It would be easier if he would give in and come and live with them. What exactly did she do wrong to keep him always running away?

“You look tired,” he said as he sat down beside her. He held a thermos in his hand. He twisted off the lid, and then passed it over. The smell of fresh coffee hit her nose. “How did things go today? Did you get your answers?”

“The house was empty,” she said. She took a sip of the drink and the hot liquid immediately burned her tongue. Tightening the lid, she gave it back to him.

“That doesn’t mean much. They could have found shelter elsewhere.”

She shook her head and told him about the blood. She even mentioned her breakdown and how there was now a half-packed gym bag of some of her worldly goods lying on the floor of her bedroom. Once upon a time the bedroom and the items were the most important possessions in her world. If she’d been asked a few months ago what she couldn’t live without, she’d have been hard-pressed to give a single answer. Her books, computer, music, clothing—everything she owned had so much value back then. Now they meant nothing.

She’d left it all behind.

“Once I was there, all I wanted was to get out as quick as I could. I couldn’t even bring myself to grab the ring my Nana gave me. I used to love my things so much. I couldn’t live without them. Today I looked at it all and I hated it.”

Daniel nodded.

“That was so selfish of me,” she continued. “There were things we could have used as a group. I could have at least grabbed some toilet paper or shampoo. Does that make sense?”

Daniel nodded again. “You can’t take it with you. You may think you can, but you can’t. The world’s changed. You’ve changed. You’re not the same girl I met back on the bus when the earthquakes happened. Back when it all started.”

“That was a million years ago. Just thinking about it makes me feel ancient.”

“I know,” he said. “Some mornings I wake up an old man. My back hurts and my body refuses to move the way it used to. I look down a stairwell and I think, If I fall, I’ll break into a million pieces. And thinking hurts. My brain bangs against my skull. My stomach is hollow. Empty. It makes me wonder if it’s all worth it sometimes.”

“You want to die? After all we’ve been through? You’re giving up?”

“No.” Daniel looked away from her, his eyes drifting down to the shoreline. “It’s not like that at all. I can’t expect you to understand.”

“Why not?” The anger was rising in her throat and she couldn’t help it. Why did she keep her hopes up that he might change? He was doing it again, saying things and then refusing to embellish, forcing her away the second he gave up a bit of information that made her think he really was human and not some sort of weird emotional hermit.

“Isn’t the ocean beautiful?”

“Huh?”

“The ocean,” Daniel said. “Look at it. Not just the surface, but picture down beneath. Twenty to a hundred feet below the surface. There’s a lot of life in that dark water. Lots of death, too. Right now everything is correcting itself. The oil rigs are no longer drilling, boats are no longer polluting, and the fishermen have long lost their daily quota.”

“So?”

Daniel shook his head. “We’re righting our wrongs. For centuries we’ve done nothing but pollute our skies, earth, and water. We’ve killed off entire species of animals. The ocean was in trouble. We were overfishing it. Now that we’re mostly
gone, everything is being righted. The fish will repopulate. Within a few years the ocean will be full of life again.”

“You make it sound like the Baggers are some sort of radical environmentalists.”