Rage (14 page)

Layla

Overwhelming.  That was the best possible way to describe it.  The smell of cigar smoke, pot, and diesel was so thick it filled my lungs, and as I walked into the room, the wood floor creaked beneath me.  It was the kind of scent that was part new and part ingrained, probably soaked up by the wood I was standing on.  Bikers and their women were everywhere, sitting on bar stools, at the pool table, against the jukebox.  It was the kind of scene you expect to see in a cliché movie, not in real life.  Except it was all there, laid out in front of me.

Men everywhere, in the corners, against the bar, hanging out outside.  You could hear their voices.  Feel the base of them in your chest as they laughed, talked, argued.

Everything was charged.  Like a fight could break out any moment, and that would be the end.

But that was what happened when there were independent clubs coming together to discuss alliances.  It wasn’t like those charters, the one with a single ruling body.  No, each club had to delegate people to be in charge, and each club had to show submission to each other in some way.

Except for Snake.

I’d never seen him, only heard about him when I was a kid and he was in his prime.  Just like Uncle Mick, and my father.  They were from a rougher generation.  The kind that solved their arguments with their fists instead of guns. 

Because beating people to death with your bare hands was considered much more masculine.  I snorted and fought the urge to roll my eyes at him.

I could see why everyone looked to him as a leader.  He’d lived this long, which was a feat most men hadn’t gotten to. 

Men like Sean and my father.

He was smart too.  I saw the way he eyed the room.  I saw how he read people.  I bet he knew things that no one else did, just from watching everyone interact.

But that also made him so much more dangerous.

Was getting involved with him really worth it?

I looked over at Cullen, who had his arms wrapped firmly around my sides.  He was still so angry.  So full of hate.  Like it was a permanent state of being for him.

I guess that was why they called him Rage.

But he wasn’t emotional, at least not in a way that let it affect his decisions.  I could see that when he interacted with the club.  He was angry, but he was slow and methodical.

And he watched people, just like Snake.

The two of them were alike in a lot of ways, and to be honest, that was scary.

What exactly had I gotten myself into?

“Bunch of ol’ ladies hanging out by the jukebox,” Snake said as we all took a seat at a table.  “Might want to go and get yourself acquainted.  Don’t want to be seen with the Hog Whores.  Won’t paint you in a good light,” He pointed to them, and looked at me.  I thought of Audrey.

He was telling me to go so he could talk to Cullen.

“Sounds like a good idea.  You know any of them over there?’

“Yeah, my ol’ lady,” he chuckled.  “Tell Red I sent ya.  She’ll welcome you real proper.”

Cullen

I leaned back against the wooden chair and looked over at my girl.  She was nervous.  I could tell by the way she walked toward them, but after a moment she straightened up and turned back, looking at me for a moment before moving forward and introducing herself.

There she was.  My girl.  Confident and tough as she interacted with those girls.

“She’ll be all right.  Lala is like royalty around here.  Her brother, her father, we respected them both.  Hell, we respect you too.” Snake flicked his cigarette off an ashtray and then put it back in his mouth, sucking until that cherry lit bright orange.

“What about Bones?” I asked, curious as I flagged down the waitress.  I needed a beer.

“Well, let’s just say you’re here for a reason instead.  Wasn’t his choice.”

“So, what’s the deal with Hound’s Breath?” I asked, my voice low.

“Motherfuckers aren’t just dealing in meth.  They have the heroin trade locked up too.  I got a guy over in Turtlecreek who wants it though.”

“You got a lot of guys in the drug business.”

“It pays to know people.  I want it out of my neighborhood, or as out of it as I can get it.  And I hate those little shits.  They run around, vandalizing, selling drugs, acting like they’re big boys, but really, they’re still pissin’ in diapers.”

“Tell that to Troy.  Prospect we have to put under tomorrow.”

“Heard about that, sorry.  It’s a damn tragedy.  But it’s also the life.” Snake didn’t sound like the kind of guy who gave a shit about prospects, so him saying that went a long way.  He was working at this alliance.  Wanted it as much as we did.

The question was why. 

I nodded, grabbing a beer from the waitress who brought two down.

“Just bring a pitcher next time, darlin’.” Snake said as he looked her over.

“Careful.  Ol’ Red’ll claw your eyes out.” I’d heard about her from Mick and Donna.  Woman was a damn hellcat.

“Maybe, or maybe she’d like a piece too.” He winked at me and then chuckled, the type of laugh that only a man past his fifties could get away with.

He’d seen some shit, and I knew it.

“So, you want to go after the heroin dealer?”

“I do.”

“Why are you so eager to help us?” The buzz of the crowds made our conversation practically private, hell, I could barely hear it.

“Like I said, I hate those little shits.  But you also have an in all this.  The Irish mob handles the heroin trade.”

“But not Bones.” I was trying to figure out his angle.

“I won’t say nothin’ against your prez, but you all might want to look at the bigger picture.  You have no resources, you don’t deal in much crime, so you got no money.  What do yinz think you’re going to accomplish? Yeah, you keep Braddock safe, but you need a bigger alliance, you need people like us.”

“So we can do your dirty work?” I wasn’t hostile and he wasn’t angry, I was just stating facts.

“When we need it done.  You make good muscle.”

“And Bones, he sees this as being a good thing?” Clearly the two of them had been talking, and I wanted to know his take.

“Enough to give it a try.” Snake blew out a big stream of smoke right toward me, pushing the last little bit out and away.  I tried not to cringe.

I hated smoke being blown in my face.  I’d beaten the shit out of men for less.

But Snake wasn’t any man.

“We help you get revenge for your brother-in-arms, you help us.  We don’t want to absorb you, we just want access to your talents, and your loyalty.  Think you can sign on for that?” He was politicking, wanted to make sure I was going to support this little merger, or us becoming a subsidiary, whatever he was thinking about.

“I think I can get on board.  What kind of help you thinking of providing, other than taking out the suppliers?” I was intrigued.  He was coming to me with this, not Bones.

I was there, representing the club, but he didn’t send out his VP to negotiate.  He did it himself.

Something Snake was not known for.

“We’ll work out the details later.  Right now, I just wanted to feel you out, see where you stood.”

“I’m standing on the side that does the most for us and is the least likely to screw me over.” It was the truth, and I wasn’t going to sugar coat it.  Snake didn’t want that, and at his age, he knew how to cut right through the bullshit.

“Looks like your woman is makin’ some friends.” He pointed over toward her, cigarette still in his hand.

Oh, she was making friends, all right.  The small group of women had decided they were going to dance to the music.  But there was nothing innocent about it.

Two of them, neither one Snake’s ol’ lady, were up on my girl, sandwiching her while she swayed with the music, her hands running through her hair.

It was hot, sensual, and a bit naughty, but nothing truly X-rated.  Not yet.  I watched, my dick getting hard right there in my seat as they rubbed up against each other, grinding and dancing to the music.

It wasn’t until I realized that every other man was watching the same display that my blood boiled.  The women she was dancing with were no threat, not really, just enough to give me a twinge of jealousy, and heighten my arousal, but these men.

They were staring at my woman.

I could feel my anger rising, so I looked at Snake and said, “Excuse me, I have a lady to go take out back.  That little display got me remembering just what a hot piece of ass she is.”

I had no plans to take her.  I just needed to get her back there and calm both of us down.  I couldn’t lose myself to her.  Not here.  Not now.  I needed a clear head.  I needed to focus.

It had been a mistake to bring her at all.

He just chuckled and knocked back another beer.

I threaded my way through the tables and the crowd until I was up on them, parting the women, and grabbing her from behind, pulling her into me.

My cock ground into her ass as I whispered into her ear, “You.  Me.  Backroom.  Now.”

It wasn’t a request.  It wasn’t a demand.  I was teetering on the edge of rage, and I needed her to bring me to the other side of it.  One way or another.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her through those women, who looked awfully disappointed that their playmate abandoned them, and past the crowd of people until I found the maze of doors.

There would be several back rooms that were unoccupied, but if I remembered correctly, there were enough that we could find somewhere.  I didn’t give a fuck if it was a broom closet.  I needed to bury my cock in her, to remind her that she was mine.

As soon as I found an empty room, I threw her into it. 

She must’ve been able to tell that I was dangerously close to the edge, because she was treating me like a wild bull.

“I won’t share you, Layla.  Not with any woman, not with any man.  You got that?”

“We weren’t doing anything but dancing, Cullen.”

“And showing off to all those fucking men.  Men who are going to be lusting after you until we leave tomorrow night.  What the fuck do you think they think of me? That I can’t control my woman?”

“Control me?”

I’d never really tried before.  “Fuck, Layla, you know what I mean.”

Appearances.  “It was all ol’ ladies, Cull.  Not those damn club girls.  We were just having a good time.” She wrapped her arm around my neck, the other traveling to my pants where she found my hard cock waiting.  “Besides, it certainly seems like you liked it.”

I did.  And that was what made me so damn dangerous.

I liked it too much.

“You are the only one I want, Cullen McFadden.  I would never, ever, jeopardize that.”

Then why did she have such a mischievous grin on her face?

Layla

If I was going to be in this world, I was going to immerse myself in it.  Lose myself to it.  That was my only choice.

Either that, or languish away wishing I’d been given the chance to escape.  That wasn’t happening, so I needed to accept it.

And that meant becoming the girl I was inside.  The one I tried so desperately to keep hidden.

The girl Cullen brought out in me.

“What, you expect me to come here and play the church mouse?” I asked as I slid my hand down the front of his jeans and took hold of that big, throbbing cock.

“No, Lala.  I just expect you to be you.”

I didn’t know who the hell I was anymore.  What I was.  All I knew was that I wanted him.  I wanted to be with him every day.  I wanted to feel him inside of me.  Feel him against me.

I wanted him more than I could explain.

“Not now.  Not here,” he said, a flash of something in his eyes that I just couldn’t make out.

“Why not?” I asked, playing with him one more time.  He was so fucking hard.

“We are here for a reason, Layla, or did you forget that?” he hissed at me.  “I need to be able to see straight, and goddamn it, when you’re around I can’t do that.  Grinding up against those women.  Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

I pulled my hand out of his pants and shook my head.

No, I didn’t forget that.  My entire life, whether I wanted it to or not, revolved around that.

It was all about getting revenge for my brother.  No matter the cost.

“As much as I want to bend you over that desk right now and fuck you until you scream, I need to keep a level head.  Need to show these guys I am one of them.  That I want the same things they want.”

“Do you?” I asked pensively.  This was the first time he’d shown me any indication that he was different than them.  Not when we were kids, and certainly not now.  It made me wonder. 

How much did he really want this life?

“Of course I am.  Of course, baby girl.  But sometimes, sometimes I think we should be doing things differently.” He stopped, looked at me and shook his head.  “That isn’t the point.  The point is we are on a run and shit is about to go down.  I need to keep an eye on everything and I need you helping.  Your fine ass just makes that so fucking hard.”

He pulled me toward him again, but this time I pushed him away.

“You’re right.  You do need a clear head, so I’m going to do the best that I can to make sure that it stays as cloud free as possible.” I smiled and looked at him, shifting on my legs so that my hips wiggled.  Just a little bit.  I wanted to taunt him, tease him.  “You get this ass after this run.  After you’ve been a good boy.  After we both come back safe.  You got it?”

“You know I hate being a good boy.  But I’ll be behave.  For now.” Cullen grabbed me and pulled me toward him for one last passionate kiss.  It was going to be hard to resist him for that long.  I wasn’t sure either one of us could do that.

“This club shit.  You still hate it?” he asked, taking a seat on one of the bunks and rubbing his hands through his hair.

I had to think about this.  It was one thing to accept Cullen for who he was, but another to accept the club.  I took a deep breath and let it all out.

“Yeah.  I do.  I’m always going to be pissed at the club, always going to be suspicious.  It’s what keeps me alert.  But I can’t deny the truth, Cullen.  Fire and Steel is an essential part of my blood.  They are me.  I’m not going to walk away from them, I can’t.  Not now.” No matter how much I wanted to do just that, I always ended up right back here.

Because of you.  Because I love you. 
I didn’t say it, but it was the truth, and that scared me more than anything else in the world.

“Because you’re being forced to be here.” It was an afterthought.  Something he said that I shook off.

“Even if I wasn’t.  I need the club, I guess.  I don’t have a job in Chicago, don’t have much of anything, really.  Just my aunt, and I’m pretty sure she is tired of me.” I gave him a weak smile, hoping he couldn’t see right through me to the truth.

Cullen was all I had.  I loved him.

Both things made me uneasy.

“It doesn’t matter, Layla.  You have me.  Now, come on.  Let’s go join the festivities.  Besides, I’m pretty sure Snake wanted to talk with you.  Something about the way you run numbers?”

***

“You.” Snake pointed at me, a cigarette in his mouth as he looked me up and down.  “You’re beautiful, but are you really as good at running numbers as your uncle says you are?”

Uncle Mick wheezed and then leaned in toward Snake.  “She’s better than I say she is.”

I swallowed.

“Why?”

“We need someone to do the math for us.  Been trying to figure out how much we can offer and still come back with a good profit.  You know? Don’t want to offer too much, or too little.”

I nodded.  I’d been helping out with the books for the club over the phone with my uncle, and he thought I was a genius.  But could I really pull this off?

“Give me everything you have.  How much supply do you need, how much do you think they have? What are they paying now?”

“We don’t got that.” Snake said, squinting.  “At least, not here with us.”

“What were you even going to negotiate with, then?”

“To be honest, we were planning on having you do it.  Your uncle told me you were good with numbers last week.”

“I am, but I need some rough estimates if I am going to come up with a proposal that they’ll even go for.”

“Ain’t here,” he repeated.

“Can you get it?” I asked.

“Yeah, we can get it.” Snake smiled.  “You really gonna come through for us, kid?”

“Yeah, I am.  Get me something to work with and bring me some coffee.  This might take a while.”

I settled into the chair, my hope for a romantic end to my evening dashed.  There wasn’t any time for that.

“Get me a coffee from somewhere other than this place.  Gas station, specialty shop, I don’t care.  If you want me to do this, you better keep me caffeinated.” I glanced around the room, my eyes settling on Cullen.

His jaw was clenched, his fists shoved into the pockets of his jeans as he watched me.

“How long this going to take?” Snake asked.

“To be honest? Might take all night.” I tried not to look irritated.  “Could’ve saved us a lot of trouble and faxed all this over to me.”

“No.  No faxes.  No technology.  Need you to do it where I can watch you.  I don’t take chances like that.” He was tense, and I immediately realized my mistake.

From what I knew of Snake he was a paranoid one, and to his credit, it was probably what kept him alive.  I just nodded.

“All right, that’s fine.  But if you want me to do these numbers, you better bring me along to explain them.”

“What? No.  No—” Cullen shook his head.

“Yeah, I like that.  Strike likes pretty things.  Shinies, he calls them.  He’ll see you and it’ll instantly put him in a good mood.  You’re a shiny thing with a purpose, though.” Snake snubbed out his cigarette and picked up his glass of bourbon.  “She comes.”

“No.  Absolutely not.” Cullen glared at the two of us.  “It’s too dangerous.  Tell ‘em, Mick.”

“She’s an adult, Rage.  Let her make up her own mind.”

I knew my uncle wanted me as entrenched into the club as I could get, knew that was his goal.  But I didn’t say shit about it.

I belonged to the club, and it belonged to me.  I knew it.  I hated it.  I hated the way the club made me feel.

But it was the closest thing to a family I had.

“Like I said, I need coffee.  Oh, and put something good on the juke.  I’m thinking a nice seventies rock and roll playlist.” I cracked my knuckles and waited for the information I needed.

I had to admit, it felt pretty damn good being useful.  It was the first time I’d felt that way in weeks.  Even if it sent Cullen off into a blind rage.  Just so long as he didn’t start shit with Snake and the rest of these bikers.  We were on their turf.

And the last thing we needed was his hot head getting in the way.