Ragan's Song (Fairfield Corners #2) (7 page)

Chapter 17

Two days later Ragan moved into the rented house that Logan owned while still wondering at how she had ended up there. There, as in Fairfield Corners and there, as in Logan’s house, where she’d spent so much time three years ago with Adam.

Mark pulled her suitcase out of the back of her car as she unlocked the door and let it swing open. When they entered the living room, it was shrouded in shadows as if it were waiting for the sun to shine again. Some of the furniture had changed, but the memories were still there, most notably the one of the love she had shared with Adam. She successfully fought the tears, not wanting to explain to Mark about the memories in this place.

Pulling open the curtains, she smiled as light filtered into the living room. She spotted an empty corner of the room that would be perfect for Skylar’s toys. He was going to be unmanageably spoiled if her mom and dad didn’t quit buying him a new toy every time they took him anywhere. However, she felt grateful that Skylar would be staying with her mom and dad on this particular night; she needed time to organize a few things, and some private time to reflect might help, too.

Several hours later, everything had been unpacked and put away, since the bulk of their belongings still resided in London. She had given away most of the possessions she had from her marriage to Liam, since she had never been one to collect a lot of material things, and what little remained would eventually have to be dealt with; but not today.

Mark had offered to stay and help for a while, but he received a call from the hospital and had to leave. Ragan had mixed feelings when she sent him off with a kiss; sorry to see him leave, but ready to spend time alone. She believed that Mark would gladly help her make new memories and keep the old ones in the past, where they belonged. After the way Adam had looked at her when she took Skylar to meet him, she finally admitted to herself that she had to move on. Mark still wanted to date her, even knowing how she still felt about Adam. A good and caring man, dating Mark seemed right.

She sat on the couch and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels. Nothing captured her interest, so she shut it off and wandered around the house, letting the memories guide her. She remembered the first time Adam had brought her there.

It was about a week after Cassie and Logan’s wedding. They were so tired and becoming slap-happy, tripping over each other to get in the door and stopping every few steps for a kiss. Adam picked her up and threw her on the bed, telling her to wait right there as he walked towards the bathroom. She really tried to stay awake, but she was so tired that she fell asleep almost instantly.

When she woke up, she was still lying on top of the covers with Adam’s arm and a leg draped over her. She turned her head to the side and watched him sleep. That’s the moment when she fell completely in love with him. Closing her eyes, she visualized the two of them dancing slowly in a room full of people. She was in a long white dress and Adam was in a tux. Logan was on a stage, singing a song she had never heard before.

She opened her eyes and saw that Adam was awake and smiling at her. “Hey beautiful, am I that boring?” he asked with a laugh, “I can’t believe you fell asleep; I was only gone two minutes.”

“Yep, you are just so boring.” she replied with a grin as Adam reached to pull her closer.

“I’ll show you how boring I am.” He wrapped her in his arms, rolled onto his back and kissed her. That was the first time they made love.

Standing in the living room once more, she smiled at the memory of falling in love with him; wishing that fate hadn’t dealt them such an awful blow.

Ugh. Have to get my mind out of the past
.
So much has happened that I doubt we can ever make our way back to each other in that way.
On that note, she turned off the lights and headed for the bedroom. After tossing and turning for about an hour, she decided that she might as well get some work done.
Sleeping tonight, in this house, is impossible.
Retrieving her laptop, she started putting together her new website.

Across town, Krista watched Adam from her side of the table, frowning at the faraway look in his eyes. She reached for his hand, “This is a date; you’re supposed to be paying attention to me.”

His bleary eyes focused on her. “Sorry, Krista. I just have a lot on my mind tonight.”

“What’s wrong, Adam? Can I help?”

“I’m just worried about the new album. It’s been almost four years since I released any new music and I’m… Oh, never mind, this is a date and we’re here to have a nice dinner.” He hoped the candlelight would help hide the deceit that must be showing in his eyes. The album wasn’t what was on his mind. Ragan was, and he couldn’t change that fact by lying to Krista, or to himself.

“Since you played the hero during that freak snowstorm, you should let me leak it to the press. It would generate some good publicity for the album. You’ve been out of the limelight for three years, and any publicity would be good at this point. Maybe some good can come out of your ex coming back to town after all,” she suggested coyly.

“No, Krista,” his face flushed with anger. “You know I don’t like to bring attention to my life in Fairfield Corners. I want Jenna to have a normal childhood, and that won’t happen if the paparazzi are following her.”

“At least think about it. Three years is a long time to be off the radar. If you want this album to sell, you’re going to have to do something,” she insisted.

“I won’t sacrifice my daughter’s safety and privacy in order to sell some CDs. Drop it, Krista,” his eyes flashed.

“Okay, fine; but I am your publicist, and you will eventually have to let me do my job,” she sneered.

“Enough work talk. Let’s enjoy tonight,” he fake smiled and raised his glass to change the subject.

She let it go, but Krista noticed Adam glancing up every time someone walked past their table as if he were waiting for someone to show up. “What is with you tonight? Are you expecting her to interrupt our dinner?”

“What are you talking about? Her who? I’m here with you on a date; why would I be looking for someone else?” he avoided her accusing glare.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that you have hardly looked at me all night and you keep searching the restaurant whenever you sense someone near.”

“You’re imagining things. I told you, I’m just worried about the new album,” he dismissed her claim.

“Well, I’ve had enough.” She stood and scolded him, “When I can be your date instead of your publicist, give me a call.”

Adam sat there in shock that Krista had walked out on him.
I guess I wasn’t hiding my feelings as well as I thought.
He motioned to the waiter for the bill, deciding that he would work on his album at the pub since Jenna was spending the night at Cassie and Logan’s. The busy location bustled with locals, and he quickly made his way to the back without speaking to any of them when he got there.

Once he had closed the door, the studio surrounded him with blissful quiet. Hoisting his guitar, he started to play. He wanted to get this one last song written so they could start recording it tomorrow. The rest of the album was complete, with this song as the only one remaining, and it had been the most difficult.

The opening notes of
Back from the Brink
sounded wrong as he picked out the melody on the guitar. He closed his eyes and started playing the first thing that came to his mind.

As his fingers strummed the strings, he let the music wash over him. The song he had started to think of as
Ragan’s Song
began to take shape in his mind as his fingers brought the melody to life.

Our destinies started so far apart

Fate drew us ever closer together

You are my heart, my soul, my life

He had most of one verse finished when his cell phone rang, disrupting the flow of music. Ignoring the phone, he tried playing where he had left off, but it was gone again.

Every time he tried to think of that song, it disappeared, just like her.
Gone
. The memory of her face when Robbie blurted out her secret tormented him. The sorrow in her eyes tore at his heart, making him reach for his phone before reason could prevail. He slipped it into his pocket and trudged out to the bar. Distracted with the idea of something alcoholic first, he forgot about making the call. Maybe a drink would wipe the memory out of his head.

Soon, one cocktail had turned into five, then he lost count. Feeling the effects of the alcohol, the room tilted when he stood, convincing him that driving would be a bad idea. He remembered Logan telling him his rental house was empty, since his tenant had left town.
It’s furnished and would be a quiet place to sleep off the booze.

Adam usually didn’t drink, but having Ragan back in town had really thrown him for a loop. He had thought he was over her, but he couldn’t seem to quit thinking about that scene with her brother. Most of all, he couldn’t believe that she never told him about Skylar.

Stumbling up onto the porch a short time later, he dug the key out of the bottom of the mailbox. He unlocked the door and swung it open slowly. The memories rushed at him from every corner of the darkened room and he almost turned around to continue his walk down to Cassie and Logan’s. Instead, he ambled down the hall towards the bedroom. The glow from a laptop on the nightstand next to a sleeping Ragan highlighted the curve of her bottom lip, which sent the blood pounding in his ears.

The memory of her scent and taste of her swirled in his mind, and the sight of her sleeping so peacefully made his heart hurt. The love they shared was still there, hiding beneath the memories. He couldn’t seem to help himself as he silently approached the bed and stared down at her, trying to push the scene at the pub last weekend out of his mind.

Just as before, when they were together three years ago, his eyes were drawn to her mouth and the lips that he never could seem to get enough of. The alcohol muddled his thinking, blurring the memories of the past with the present so he didn’t know what happened when. As he pulled off his clothes, something told him that he shouldn’t be doing this, but he ignored it. He was so close to feeling the heaven of her arms, and those lips that drove him to distraction. He crawled into the bed and watched her sleep, finally bringing his mouth down to kiss her.

Chapter 18

Ragan woke at the touch of Adam’s lips on hers, thinking it was only a dream. She responded to the urgency in his touch as she enjoyed the feel of his calloused fingertips brushing over her skin. She felt his hardness and hoped this dream wouldn’t stop. Simply being this close to him was torture for her until he plunged into her, filling her as only he could.

Running her hands down his arms, she marveled at the tattoo around his right bicep, a tribal looking design with Jenna’s name entwined through it. His eyes were closed as he loved her, savoring the feel of her body against his. She brought her hand up and ran her fingers along his jaw, memorizing the feel of his unshaven face against her fingertips. He looked older than she remembered, the faint lines radiating from his eyes were a bit more pronounced and his face was a bit thinner.

She began to cry at the beauty of this feeling, one she knew she would never feel in the real world again. Then it happened. He climaxed inside her.

“What the hell?”

Not wanting the dream to end, she opened her eyes and realized it was not a dream. The look of horror on Adam’s face made her want to hide under the covers, his eyes never leaving her face.

“Adam?”

He sat up abruptly, swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood as he struggled to pull on his clothes. Then he backed away from the bed, shoes in hand as he turned and ran out of the bedroom.

“Adam, wait.” She pulled on her robe and followed him, but by the time she had limped to the front door, he was already gone.

Tossing and turning the rest of the night caused Ragan to give up trying to sleep. She sat up in bed and relived the feel of Adam’s skin against hers and how his hungry lips had traveled up and down her body, igniting the fire that was only for him. She pushed those memories away and focused on the expression of shame and horror in his eyes, vowing to herself that she would move on with her life. The memory of this last time together would be put into the box marked
Adam
in her mind, and she’d only allow it to be taken out sporadically when she needed to remember what an all-consuming love felt like.

After breakfast and a shower, she pulled out her laptop and resumed working on her website. About ten o’clock, she was interrupted by a knock at the door. When she answered it, she found James standing on the porch, holding an envelope and looking very official. “What’s wrong, James? It’s not Dad, is it?”

“Everyone is fine, Ragan. I’m here in my official capacity as sheriff.” He handed her the envelope. “Please remember I don’t want to do this. Ragan Newlin, you’ve been served.” He frowned at his shoes, his face turning red with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Ragan. Logan usually handles these, but I thought I should take care of this one personally.” She stood there staring at the envelope in her hand as James closed the door and got back in his cruiser and drove away.

Ragan opened the envelope and found a summons to have a paternity test and to appear in court next month for a custody hearing. She dropped to her knees, her legs suddenly feeling like noodles. The tears rolled down her face as she tried to comprehend the fact that Adam had actually requested a custody hearing.
How can he do this to me? There is no way in hell I will let him take away my son.

Using the backs of her hands, she brushed the tears away from her face. Anger replaced the grief and fear. She grabbed her keys and phone and stomped out to her car, muttering about what she would to do to Adam when she found him. Pulling out of the driveway with screeching tires and the radio blasting Metallica, her favorite pissy-mood music, she set out to find Adam and take her anger out on him in person.

When she reached his driveway, she pulled in and slid to a stop. After banging on the door for several minutes and yelling for him to open up, she realized that he was not there, so she drove back to town. Her anger grew with each minute that passed. She spied his truck parked behind the pub and parked in the lot, resisting the urge to ram her car into his truck in the process. Another quick visual was to put her tire iron through his windshield, but she decided to take out her anger on him, not his vehicle.

Stomping into the pub, she didn’t see Adam anywhere. Behind the bar, Mike, was wiping down glasses and stacking them on their shelf. “Where’s your boss?” she asked through gritted teeth.

“He’s back in the recording studio; it’s the door at the end of the hall,” Mike replied as he dialed his phone to warn Adam that Ragan was on her way and seemed to be in a foul mood.

Ragan took measured steps down the hallway, her anger boiling with each one.

“What’s wrong, Ragan?” Adam asked as he walked out of the recording booth with his guitar still in his hand.

She stepped right up to him, toe to toe, and slapped his face, hard. “You bastard! How could you do that to me?” Her hands shook as she reigned in her anger; he held the power to take her son away. Resisting the urge to strike him again with something more substantial than her fist, she ground out, “I never want to see you again.”

Adam stood there in silence, not realizing that the summons had been delivered that morning. “Ragan, I…”

“There’s nothing you can say that will make this go away,” she drew a ragged breath, her body trembling with visible rage she fought to contain. “Just stay out of my life.” She spun around and strutted out the door, hurrying to her car as hot tears began to flow.

Adam sat in the chair in front of the sound mixing board, dropping the guitar next to him. “What have I done? She’ll never forgive me. I practically raped her.” He ran his hands through his hair, wondering how everything got out of control so fast. “Maybe someday we can move past this and at least become friends again…” Staring at the floor, he thought about what could happen. What if she was headed for the sheriff’s office to file charges?
I could go to jail. What would happen to Jenna? God, I really screwed up.

Later that day, Ragan sat on her porch with a legal pad full of notes on her lap. Reading through them for the third time, the meeting with the family attorney in Fort Wayne had opened her eyes to how serious and precarious her situation was. When her lawyer had explained how a judge would perceive her actions, she had vowed to put her own feelings aside and think of what was best for Skylar—having both parents in his life.
It’s imperative that I not lose my baby boy completely.

Tapping her pen against her teeth, she composed an email to Adam explaining that she would never keep him from spending time with Skylar. Offering two nights a week and every other weekend, she hoped that Adam would agree.
If we can work this out between the two of us, maybe I can keep Adam from taking Sky away.

Prepared to do whatever was necessary to keep custody of Skylar, Ragan had asked and Cassie had agreed to be their go-between. Ragan would drop Skylar off at her house and Adam would pick him up there; and vise-versa for the return. It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do. Maybe someday she would be able to look at him without feeling betrayed that he had tried to take her son away.