Radioactive (25 page)

Zoe taps me gently on the shoulder and points to my injured arm. “Did it hurt much?”

The bleeding has stopped. “At first yes, but after a second I no longer felt it. It actually even helped me concentrate.”

“What would happen if someone went into the mating battles with their laser set to battle mode?” Asha asks suddenly.

“That person would be pretty stupid. They would spend the rest of their life in a cell in the sickbay,” Ruby replies immediately with a menacing look in Asha’s direction. Asha raises her arms defensively. “It was just a question...”

“Has it happened before?” Zoe says curiously.

“Just once, but not during a fight itself,” Ruby replies defensively. From her curt remark, it is clear she will not give us any more information.

Surprisingly, A350 jumps into the conversation. “During the last mating battle, one of the fighters went haywire and after mortally wounding several residents, he fled.”

“Was he captured?”

A350 shakes her head. She is speaking of Paul. He was one of the rebels, the only one to really escape from the Western Legion. He must be from the same generation as Ruby. I wonder if they knew each other? I throw a glance in her direction. She has been through this before. She is already a mother and does not know who the father is, or who her child is. Outwardly she acts tough and aloof, as if no one could harm her, but now she seems different. Is this information about Paul tormenting her?

Zoe taps me again on the shoulder and makes a sign that I should follow her outside the circle. Curious, I obey.

“What’s up?”

“Can you take me to see my mother tonight?”

I know how important it is for her and I already figured she would request it. But it’s still not easy to deny her.

“I can’t. Not on successive days. I cannot replace the camera shots every day. I was almost caught this morning.”

“Everyone is busy with the mating battles at the moment. I’m sure no one cares about the footage.”

I shake my head apologetically. “A350 is already suspicious. We need to train for the fights. I do not want to disappoint, not now.”

Zoe looks suspiciously in A350’s direction. “What if she would allow it?”

“She would never allow it!” I say without hesitation.

“I want to see my mother,” Zoe replies and marches purposefully toward A350. I remain in shock, but before I can stop her, she is already talking to A350.

“Legion commander A350, I have a request of you.”

Skeptical, A350 looks to her. “Yes?”

Surely she thinks Zoe will ask for permission to train with me.

“Z318 is my mother, and you know as well as I that in the Legion it may not be common for parents to care about the welfare of their children, but with us it’s different. I love my mother and she loves me. Therefore, I ask you to allow me to see her. I want to see her before I become a mother.”

I am surprised that she told A350 that. Even more surprising is A350’s facial expressions during Zoe’s speech. While at first she seemed annoyed and critical at the beginning, her eyes softened toward the end almost sympathetically. She nods to Zoe in understanding.

“Whether you believe it or not, your mother and I are not as dissimilar as you might assume. I can understand very well and that is why I will not stand in the way of your request. I will even take you to her personally.”

Tears well up in Zoe’s eyes. I’m sure neither of us expected such a response.

“Really?” She exclaims in disbelief.

“As long as it remains between us,” A350 replies simply.

Zoe immediately agrees, “Thank you!”

“Will you join us?” A350 turns to me.

“If I may.”

“I beg you to come, there’s something you should see.”

I do not understand what she means by that and look at her questioningly, but A350 is mysteriously quiet.

When we re-enter the sickbay that night, Zoe and I follow A350 to Maggie’s cell.

“I’m nervous, even though I’m just visiting my mother,” Zoe whispered to me, laughing. “Like this is the most normal thing in the world. I can’t believe she’s alive!”

“How did you know, or thought you knew, that she had died?”

“The Legion told me that all the rebels had died in the attack and that I was the only survivor. I later learned from Ruby that it was not true. That was before I knew my mother was still alive.”

“Why did the Legion tell you that your whole family was wiped out if they really wanted you on their side? You must have hated them for it,” I wonder aloud.

“Before you are all alone in the world, you would rather ally with your enemy,” A350 says, meddling into our conversation. But Zoe shakes her head vehemently. “I will never belong to the Legion, whether my family is dead or alive.”

“You should hold back such statements in my presence,” A350 admonishes her strictly. She somehow seems offended. Nevertheless, I am glad that we can now talk to each other openly. Although we do not always agree, she tries to understand me at least.

Just as we reach the cell, Zoe lets go of my hand and looks expectantly at A350.

A350 looks at me with a grin, “Well...”

Confused, I furl my brow. “I do not know the code.”

Amused, she raises her eyebrows. “You think I’m stupid? I know that this is not the first time you’ve been here. Now give me the code already.”

How does she know? I cleared all the footage. Guiltily I type 2105 into the keypad. The door opens with a click.

Maggie is already expectantly in front of it. But when she sees A350, she tenses up in fright. She clasps her hands over her head. “Go away!” She hisses anxiously.

“Mama, she helped us,” Zoe tried to calm her down as she slowly walked toward Maggie. But Maggie is beside herself and bares her teeth in our direction like a wild animal. A growl penetrates from her throat, almost like an animal. I felt that she was animal-like at our first meeting, but yesterday she behaved normal. Like a human.

Even Zoe acts shocked by her mother’s behavior. “Shh...” she whispers and holding her arms outstretched as though she were trying to nurture a wild animal. “All is well. I promise.”

Bobbing, Maggie jumps forward and pulls her daughter in her arms, but without taking her eyes off A350. Zoe doesn’t know she’s a hostage.

“Not so hard,” Zoe asks, but Maggie ignores her. Her eyes are fixed on A350. It is a silent threat.

“You’re hurting me,” Zoe continues to whine and struggles to free herself from her mother’s grip, but the more she resists, the stronger Maggie’s embrace becomes.

“Z318, I command you to release your daughter,” A350 orders in an authoritarian tone, whereupon Maggie’s eyes narrow to tiny slits. “You have no authority to be giving me orders,” she hisses back.

“Mama!” Zoe screams. Her cry is like a slap in the face and abruptly Maggie’s grip loosens. “I did not want to do that,” she sobs, shaking her head.

“It’s okay, everything is good,” Zoe promises and takes her mother in her arms, much gentler this time. This time Maggie is tucked against Zoe’s shoulder. I see how their eyes are closed and Maggie deeply breathes in Zoe’s scent.

That is the moment when A350 touches my hand and closes hers around it. “This is how the relationship between mother and daughter should be,” she whispers softly, more to herself than to me.

Confused, I look at them. Tears glisten in Maggie’s eyes. “A mother loves her child without any ifs, ands, or buts. She would recognize her child among thousands, even without having seen it once. A mother knows.”

Does she speak of her own children? Does she know who they are? Affectionately she strokes her hand over my skin. Is she trying to tell me something? Is she my mother?

Thoughtfully, I look at her. I like A350, but would I like her as much if she were my mother? A mother who was never there for me? A mother who never comforted me when I was sad? Suddenly the room appears much too small for my emotions. In addition, I am missing the presence of an actual person: Finn. He should be here. He should be with his mother, who has never ceased to love him and will always love him, even if his memory never returns.

As I leave the elevator in the Legion Commanders’ sphere, I’m relieved to see Clyde in front of the door to my room. Even though I spent time with him in recent days, I never really had a chance to speak with him. He smiles at me, but when I stand in front of him, his expression changes to concern.

“Is everything okay? You look depressed.”

As so often is the case, I am impressed by his sense. Was it Zoe’s influence on him, or has he always been sensitive and couldn’t show it?

I would love to tell him about the mutants, but I am not allowed to speak of them.

I think of A350 and my fear that she could be my mother, but I do not want to talk about it. Talking about it would be to accept the idea and I cannot do that.

Finn immediately comes to mind. Finn kisses me and then acts frantically when he sees his mother. I was so sure that in that moment he remembered.

“It’s because of Finn,” I confess to Clyde. “I think he remembers, but he denies it.”

“I understand.”

I look blankly at him.

“If he remembers, the Legion will kill him.”

“But I’m not the Legion. He could tell me. Or does he not trust me?”

“This has nothing to do with trust. If you knew that he remembers, you would behave differently around him. There is nothing you could do about that. It would be quite natural.”

I frown. Would I really act differently around Finn if he remembered? It would be easier for me because I could assess him better. I would know what to say to him. But the new Finn, however, surprises me anew every day. At times I feel closer to him than ever before. At the same time he understands me better than the old Finn did, or at least he pretends. Maybe Clyde is right. A350 would notice. But would she betray him?

I
stand next to A350 and look down upon the spectators that have filled the arena. The murmur and excitement is unusually palpable. Previously this was never the case. Normally, residents of the safety zone were always silent because they had nothing to say to each other, but that seems to have changed in the meantime. Although we are still far from the roaring atmosphere of the rebels on such a day, at least people are talking to each other.

Mating fights are one of the few traditions of the Legion. We do not celebrate feasts as did the people of old Earth. We have no seasons, though they would be welcome. The only celebrations we have are the mating fights and the farewell ceremony. Not even the birth of a new generation of residents is a cause for celebration. For the first few years of their life, no one knows they exist, and then one day they are just there.

For the first three days, I do nothing more than watch the other fights with the other Legion Commanders and try to learn from the mistakes of others. As a commander, I placed second in my generation. Only A566 ranks above me. He is number one.

The first day is devoted to D-Class fights. Fourth and fifth generation residents partake in these battles. Usually their fights do not take long since their fighting quality is not exactly the best. However, the D-Class is the largest group since fifty percent of each generation becomes a D-Class resident.

As one of the oldest Legion Commanders, A233 opens up the mating battles. She stands at the edge of the grandstand before the microphones.

“Welcome to the opening of the mating season!”

This is followed by a round of applause, although subdued; I can still see some eyes in the audience shine with anticipation. The residents of the safety zone seem to love the mating fights and to deprive them of this would be wrong.

A233 continues, a smile on her lips. “As you already know, this year, not only will the men fight, but the women as well, in order to achieve a more distinct pairing result. In addition, after each group, the matches will be announced. It is the first time in the history of the Legion that we will allow everyone to know who they are paired with. It is a step back to humanity.

The arena is silent. No applause. The people are confused. Previously any contact beyond work was prohibited. Therefore, they do not know how to respond to A233’s words. I rise from my seat so that everyone can see me, and begin to clap. The sound of my hands against each other creates a resounding echo through the silent arena. A350, next to me, also stands and joins in my applause. The other Legion Commanders follow my example. Spurred on by our model, residents near us begin to stand and clap until finally the entire arena stands and applauds. I feel intoxicated. It’s a great feeling to stand here between people whom the rebels accuse to be like robots and celebrate their humanity. None of us are cold or unemotional. We have feelings like everyone else. We are people.

The mating battles begin with the first group of the fifth generation D-Class residents. The fight takes just a minute and the male fighter emerges as the winner, not because he was a good worker, but only because he was better than his female opponent. That’s the kind of fights the D-Class have: Short, fast, and without any surprises.

The next pairing is Asha and a boy named D587. Asha’s face is grim and determined. The boy looks into her icy eyes and must gather his courage. Every fiber of her body is aligned for victory. They both stand at the starting mark.

“Three, two, one... Fight!” The computer voice announces. Asha’s laser beam shoots immediately and hits her opponent. Before he is even aware of what has happened, the battle is over. Asha has won.

It takes a few seconds for the audience to realize it as well and then the applause erupts. I feel pride for Asha’s strong will, but also for myself because I helped turn her into the strong woman who stands fearlessly before us today.

The computer announces the next fight’s opponents. “D523 versus D577.”

It feels as though my heart will stop. For a moment the blood drains from my face and everything blurs before my eyes. Zoe and Finn must fight each other right now? Is this really a coincidence or is the Legion playing a mean game? Horrified, I look to A350, but she just shrugs apologetically. Apparently she knew nothing about it. Most likely they will not be paired with each other, but with someone else from their group. But it is certain that one of the two will retire after this fight. It is cruel to make siblings fight against each other. Worse, under normal circumstances, Finn would refuse to harm his little sister. But he does not remember, or at least is pretending not to. I do not believe him; I do not believe he has forgotten everything. His actions have too often proved the contrary.