Radiant Surrender (CSA Case Files Book 6) (25 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three

J
essie stirred and then groaned as each ache in her body made itself known. The sheets grazed her overly sensitive skin and she winced, almost afraid to turn over onto her back. When she finally managed to do so her nipples throbbed in time with her heartbeat, almost taking away the severe sensitivity of her backside. As she lay there trying to adjust to the morning after, her thoughts whirled until she finally opened her eyes. Who was that crazy woman that she’d become last night?

She turned her head to see Gavin watching her, his penetrating green eyes studying her closely. Did he expect her to run out of here with her panties hanging off of one leg? That wasn’t going to happen, but she did need a moment to gather her thoughts. She appreciated his silence as she tried to sort out the feelings and sensations she’d felt last night. It wasn’t easy.

Jessie had been a jumbled, incoherent mess by the time Gavin had obtained his release. She’d actually felt his cock swell to bursting within her as his cum ejaculated into the condom he’d been wearing. It’s a good thing that he’d released her from her restraints and carried her into the bathroom where he’d climbed into the shower with her, dousing them with hot water. She wasn’t sure what caused it, but she broke down and cried as he’d removed the plug. He held her and then positioned them on the bench that had been designed with the shower. He set her on his lap in the light steamy spray and rocked her until there were no more tears. Even though he could have moved them, he kept her right in his lap until the water had pruned her fingers.

She remembered thinking that she wasn’t Jessie anymore. She still felt that way, as if something had shifted inside of her to make room for Gavin. It was the only way she could explain why she felt so close to him right now. It was as if he’d become a part of her. She’d never trusted someone so completely before. She’d never allowed herself to be so vulnerable emotionally or physically in someone else’s presence.

“Tell me what you are thinking, Jessica.”

Jessie softly smiled, hearing the command in Gavin’s voice. It wasn’t a question, by any means. He felt entitled to her private thoughts and after last night he was. If she told him every thought, would he be the one to run?

“I was thinking that you were right.” Jessie closely watched his face, wanting to know his reflections as well. “I became someone else last night.”

“Someone you like or are afraid of?”

“Someone I need to get used to,” Jessie admitted, rolling cautiously to her side so she could face him. The aches were starting to fade. Gavin had his elbow propped up on his pillow, resting his head on his hand as he waited for her to continue. “There were times last night where I didn’t think I could take any more…pain
or
pleasure.”

“You had every opportunity to say your safeword.”

“True,” Jessie confessed once more, getting a bit distracted by the sheet that was barely covering his thigh. “I wanted to please you. I wanted to experience what you talked about. With that said, I don’t think I would or could trust anyone else to take me past the thresholds you are so fond of, Gavin.”

“You have many, many more.” Gavin’s statement sent shivers of apprehension through Jessie’s body. The fear that he liked to instill within his submissives had settled into her, because she had a feeling that he would forever push her boundaries. It wasn’t fear that he would hurt her, but distress of what she would discover about herself. “We have all day and night to take advantage of before we need to return Minneapolis. While I decide what your training will be for today I’d like your lips around my cock.”

Jessie’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of training. He was a very sexual individual with specific desires that needed to be met. He’d always been upfront about that and she was more than willing to be the woman to meet them. She hadn’t really thought of what today would entail though, but his words brought about hundreds of scenarios that were immediately pushed aside when he declared he wanted her to suck his dick. She’d yet to see what he looked like and when he didn’t shift his body so the sheet would fall off his hip, she helped herself.

Gavin’s cock was wide, exactly as she’d thought last night from the feel of him inside of her pussy. His dick had spread her to the point of pain, but then again, the anal plug that had taken up the extra room could have been the cause of that. The mushroom head had long slit in the middle, already releasing a drop of his pre-cum. She ran her hand down his abdomen, loving the hardness of his stomach and groin area. He kept himself neatly trimmed and as she cradled his sac, she was amazed by the weight of his balls. She slid her fingers up and wrapped them around his thick shaft.

“Did I say you could use your hands, Jessica?” Gavin’s voice broke through her concentration and exploration, causing Jessie to become slightly irritated. Shouldn’t she get some type of reward for having been so good last night? “As a matter of fact, put your hands behind your back. I want only your mouth on my cock.”

Jessie couldn’t resist flashing him a frustrated look and she still stroked his cock, which immediately had her flipped on her stomach and spanked. Not in the good way, like last night with the crop. This damn well hurt and by the fifth slap she tried to grab his wrist and twist away.

“Take your hand off of me.”

Gavin’s hardened tone sent a shiver of fear through her, for she’d never heard such steel laced in words before. She slowly released his wrist and not knowing what to do with her hands, she slid them under the pillow and grabbed a hold of the edge of the mattress.

“I’m sorry, Gavin.” Jessie tried to turn her head to see his reaction, but he was just out of sight. “I just thought—”

“You thought this was fun and games, like when you visit the club.” Gavin delivered another smack and Jessie balled her fingers into her palms, taking with them the sheet. “I was forthcoming with what I expect. That hasn’t changed. I have a firm hand when it comes to our sexual bond, as you are about to find out. What do you do when I give you instructions?”

“Follow them, Gavin.”

Jessie bit her lip when another smack was delivered. Her ass already felt raw from last night’s scene, so taking a punishment like this wasn’t easy. She knew in his mind it wasn’t supposed to be and she wished they had the morning to redo over again.

“What is the proper response when I give you instructions?”

“Yes, Gavin.”

Jessie tensed, anticipating another spank. It wasn’t the wisest thing to do and she lowered her head to the bed as she cried out. Her eyes started to fill with tears, but she refused to allow them to fall. She wouldn’t allow this to ruin their day. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the bed dip, indicating that he’d gotten up. The relief was fleeting as she panicked, thinking he wasn’t going to continue with their morning in bed. She lifted her head quickly and breathed a sigh of relief when he opened one of the drawers from last night.

“Stand.” Jessie swiftly moved off of the bed and stood, watching him closely to see what implement he was choosing. Her stomach sunk with dread when she thought her punishment was going to continue, but she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the wrist cuffs from last night. She could give a blowjob without using her hands, but she wouldn’t complain if he was making a point by locking them behind her. “Hold out your arms.”

Within moments Gavin had secured the fur-lined cuffs to her wrists as well as fastened them behind her. Jessie didn’t like that he was still frowning. The butterflies in her stomach returned in droves when he walked back to where he kept the other items. What was he looking for?

“If you can’t do as you’re told, I’ll do it for you,” Gavin stated sternly as he finally returned to stand in front of her. In his hands was something she’d never seen, but it was easy to decipher what it was meant to do. She started to shake her head, but she thought better of it from the hardened look in his eyes. “As I said before, you aren’t a beginner. You’re being bratty and seeing what you can get away with. That’s unacceptable. Now open your mouth.”

Jessie couldn’t bring herself to do it. She imagined what she’d look like wearing it and it was too humiliating. She kept her mouth closed as fear took hold. He was asking too much of her and he was taking this too far. As if he read her mind, he spoke once more.

“This is not a game, Jessica. Open. Your. Mouth.”

Couldn’t Gavin see that this was something she couldn’t do? She looked at the device once more. This metal O-ring gag was black leather and although it looked nicer than the ones she’d seen, it was still meant to keep her mouth open so that he could use her mouth and throat any way he liked. She felt rattled but she finally, slowly, opened her mouth where once he’d placed the rather large chrome metal ring in her mouth between her teeth, the leather stretched across her cheeks and fastened behind her head with a big buckle. She didn’t like this humiliating feeling, for it made her feel even more vulnerable than last night. She had no control over her mouth or throat, sending another shiver of trepidation through her. She should have just listened to him to begin with, instead of thinking she could toy with him. He’d told her numerous times that he wasn’t like the other men she’d played with.

“Sit on the bed.” Jessie moaned when she did as he instructed, the soft comforter feeling as if it was made of sand against the skin of her ass. Gavin had obviously known the sensations it would produce. Unfortunately, there wasn’t an area on her buttocks that wasn’t affected. He was standing in front of her, stark naked, and she hadn’t had time to enjoy the view as she’d been too worried about what he had planned. She tried to move her jaw, but it was wide open and ready to receive his cock. She tried to swallow the saliva that was building up around her tongue, but Gavin had placed a hand on the back of her head before she could. He brought her down until the tip of his cock was at the entrance of the ring. “My advice would be to swallow when I hit the back of your throat.”

Jessie was bent forward in such a way that she couldn’t really struggle. Her feet didn’t hit the floor and every movement of her ass against the comforter reminded her that she’d gotten herself into this trouble. At first it wasn’t so bad. Gavin’s cock slipped past the ring and landed on her tongue. Because she wasn’t in control of anything, he used his body and hands, clutching her hair to thrust in and out. He was going to fuck her face. The first time he went too far she felt her throat close up and she panicked.

“Breathe through your nose,” Gavin said, his hand tightening on the back of her head. “You also need to swallow or else this isn’t going to go well for you. And know this—I’m not stopping until you swallow every drop of my cum.”

His promise sent a shiver of something she couldn’t name through her body. There were too many things happening to her at once. Couldn’t Gavin see that this was affecting her breathing? Jessie even tried to get out of her restraints, but it was useless. He hadn’t lied either and within two thrusts his cock slid to the back of her throat. He held himself there until she had no choice but to breathe through her nose. She inhaled the oxygen as her throat adjusted to the size of his cock.

“Now swallow.” Jessie couldn’t. She tried to pull back, but Gavin’s hand refused to allow her to move backward. A tear escaped her eye, not because she was crying, but due to the fact that this was harder than she’d expected it to be. “Swallow.”

Jessie swallowed, her throat constricting around his cock. Gavin groaned in pleasure and then started to fuck her mouth as if it were her pussy. It was another experience that Jessie was now brutally aware of and one she didn’t want repeated. He took his time fucking her mouth and eventually he began to swell. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy the taste of Gavin, but this wasn’t how she’d wanted it to be. He held himself still at the entrance to her throat, releasing his cum down her gullet as she drank down every last drop he gave her. When he finally pulled out, he immediately unfastened the buckle on the leather. It was over. Her jaw was slightly sore and she closed her mouth, looking up at him as she waited for him to speak. She just wanted to crawl underneath the covers and hide, which was so unlike her.

“Go take a shower and then meet me in the kitchen—no clothes.” Gavin gently helped her up from the bed and soothingly wiped her lip. Jessie felt a little bit confused with how that made her feel. When he unfastened her hands, he pulled her into his arms and just held her. She became even more perplexed. “I’ll make us some breakfast and then we can talk some more.”

Jessie nodded and reluctantly released him, not really wanting to relinquish his welcomed warmth. She let her fingers slide from his chest and she then walked to the bathroom. Before she crossed the threshold, she turned back around to find him watching her with a hunger that called to her. How was it that she could be aroused by what had just taken place? He’d forcefully fucked her mouth after spanking her sore ass. Gavin had basically chastised her and although she would have wanted this morning to have gone differently, found that she craved more of whatever it was that he was providing her. She could please him and be a proper submissive to meet his needs. It was downright bewildering and it only made it worse by him knowing she was experiencing this ongoing battle in her thoughts. When the corner of his mouth lifted into a half smile, she slammed the door closed. It was too bad she couldn’t do the same on her raging emotions.