Radiance (13 page)

“You sketched them fucking?”  She nodded.  “Did you touch yourself while you watched them?” 

“Yes.  Then we’d watch movies and snuggle on the couch.”  He frowned and she tilted her head.  “It wasn’t only about the sex, you know.” 

“It’s
always
about the sex.  They had you naked.  How did they keep from taking you?”  He seemed legitimately confused. 

“I wasn’t strong enough.  My…my bones.  I have to be sure they’re healed.”  She cleared her throat.  “Harper, I explained why I was unable to commit to any sort of arrangement earlier.  I wasn’t just making you wait.” 

“Four more months.” 

“About that, yes.  Joshua and Jessica wanted me to feel human, to remember why it’s important to keep going.  I was lost.” 

“They helped you…emotionally?”  She agreed.  “I don’t know how to do that.  Elijah was never emotional before you.” 

“Does it bother you?” 

“Sometimes.” 

“I appreciate your honesty.”  Inhaling carefully, she whispered, “I won’t hurt him.  I won’t hurt you.  I won’t ruin what you have together.  I would never do that.” 

“You can’t hurt me.” 

“Okay.”  She steeled herself against his repeated insistence that he
would not
love her.  “Now that we’ve had this lovely chat and you’ve clarified how you’re the modicum of control and immune to me, may I have my pants?” 

“No.  I like you without pants.” 

“It isn’t socially acceptable to go without pants.  Eventually, I’ll have to wear them.” 

“I’d rather you not.” 

“You’re a little frustrating, Harper.” 

“I know.”  He kissed her roughly several times before walking to his bedroom.  “Goodnight, Gabriella.” 

“You’re…leaving?” 

He paused and turned.  “I lack the gene to resist a warm woman in my bed.  Elijah is better at self-denial.” 

Then he closed the door. 

Glancing at Elijah, she realized he’d been leaning against the bar with his arms crossed while Harper marked his territory and stated his conditions.

“That was…interesting.”  She pressed her fingers along the bridge of her nose.  “
Now
can I have my pants?” 

“No.” 

He picked her up and carried her back to the room where he’d doctored her.  Placing her gently on cool linens, he worked her sweater up her torso and over her head. 

“You’re taking my top now, too?” 

He nodded as he pulled the blanket over her and turned off the lamp.  Walking around the bed, he climbed in beside her. 

“Brie.” 

“Yes?” 

“I left your bra but I regret doing so.” 

“Fine.  You can have it.”  Instantly, he worked the clasp free and tossed it to the floor. 

Beneath the blankets, he wrapped his arm around her and stroked a warm palm up and down her bare back.

“This is better.”  He kissed the top of her head.

“You should take off
your
clothes in a show of solidarity.” 

He chuckled and stood long enough to strip to his boxer briefs. 

When they were skin to skin, she asked quietly, “Why did you keep me with you, Elijah?” 

“The look on your face.  In the lobby when I thought you were already in the safe room.” 

“What look?”

“Fear of loss.”  He held her closer.  “I could
see
your love for me, your worry for us.  I needed you near.” 

Rolling to her side, she slid her arm over his stomach and nuzzled her cheek against his chest, kissing the skin there.  His arm crossed her back and the tips of his fingers brushed the side swell of her breast.

“I wanted to be near, Elijah.  Tomorrow, I’ll go home.” 

“Sleep, Brie.” 

Brie soaked up his presence like the rare gift it was in her life and she was grateful.  Glad to be able to touch him, that he was in town to touch her, and that no one had stolen the opportunity through the earlier violence. 

His warmth and steady breathing gradually put her out.

* * *

In his own bed, Harper stared at the ceiling with his hands crossed behind his head. 

He replayed the day.  From the moment he’d seen Gabriella laughing openly with Natalia to her fear for them to her obvious pain when he reminded her not to love him. 

She was funny, smarter than he realized.  The more time he spent in her presence, the more he liked her. 

The fear inside him grew.

Third Week of March 2015

One year to the day of her accident, Brie woke from an awful nightmare.  Shaking and distraught, she sat up to catch her breath.  A warm palm settled on the skin of her back. 

“It’s alright.  You’re safe.”  Elijah’s voice anchored her to reality.  “Today will be hard.” 

“You knew,” she said without looking at him.

“Yes.” 

Since the day of the attack, when the men were in town, Elijah sometimes stayed the night with her.  Having him hold her and the ability to touch him made it possible for her to sleep. 

It wasn’t as easy when he wasn’t with her.

Laying back down, she inhaled carefully.  Turning her head on the pillow, she whispered, “Thank you for staying.”

“I enjoy sleeping with you, Brie.  It’s a different experience for me.  It’s rare in my life that I haven’t slept alone.” 

She wanted to ask why he didn’t sleep with Harper but didn’t feel as if she had the right. 

Rolling to his side, he propped his head in his hand.  “You’re somehow even more beautiful when you sleep.”  He stroked wild curls away from her face. 

“Thank you.” 

They returned late from a business trip.  On edge, she hadn’t been able to sleep.  Elijah’s tap on the door in the middle of the night filled her with relief and happiness. 

As she opened to him, he took her in his arms, kissed her senseless, and carried her to her bedroom. 

Removing everything but her panties, unbraiding her hair, he placed her in bed and joined her in nothing but boxer briefs. 

In the morning light, his eyes were bright and his smile made her heart thump loudly in her chest. 

“I missed you while you were gone.”  Moving to her side, she tucked one hand under her head and stroked the other over the lines of his face, neck, and chest.  “It always feels longer than it is.” 

“Do you hate that we travel so much?” 

She shook her head.  “It’s the way it is.  I understand.  I worry more now…that you could be hurt or k-killed.  I know there’s real
danger
so I send you all the good vibes I can when you aren’t in my line of sight.” 

“I
knew
I felt something.” 

Brie tried to smile.  “Natalia said you’re the best in the world at what you do and I’m glad.  Keep coming back, Elijah.”  Stroking her fingers over his sternum she whispered, “Keep this beautiful heart beating.” 

His hand held hers to his chest.  “I’ll always come back to you.  I’ll always bring Harper back to you.” 

Her smile faded.  “He doesn’t
want
to come back to me.  I’ll take what I can get in the form of rough kisses and verbal sparring.  He resents even the
suggestion
of more than that.”

Time spent with Harper made her ache to help him.  She didn’t know all the reasons he resented love, perhaps even women in general, but she knew she could help if he let her in. 

“Do you love him, Brie?”

“I…it’s not easy for me, Elijah.  Knowing Harper doesn’t
want
me to love him hurts because I want to help him see that loving me is safe.  He loves you so he’s
capable
of it.”

“Give him time.” 

“He’s warned me and now it’ll be my own fault if I don’t heed those warnings.”  She shook her head.  “He may only have room to love you and I can’t resent it because I understand.  It feels so
good
to love you.” 

Then he was kissing her and there were no more words.  His hands roamed her skin and she panted into his mouth. 

Holding and kissing her seemed to please Elijah as much as it pleased her.  Though he was
always
hard, he never remarked on his need for relief. 

“Let me taste you,” she whispered against his lips.  He went still.  “Show me the best way.” 

Unable to kneel or crouch, she wasn’t sure how to accomplish what she wanted.  She was
desperate
for him.

“I’ll wait, Brie.” 

“You
have
waited and you’ve done it with more patience than any other man would have had.  I’m not sure of a safe position.  Help me, show me how.”  While she watched, the green of his eyes darkened.  “Please, Elijah.” 

“Why is this important to you?” 

“You offer comfort and care
no one
has ever been able to give me.  I want to give back, to please you.”  She smiled.  “Just having you here pleases me more than you realize.”

His thumb traced her lower lip.  “I dream of it.” 

“You dream about me sucking you?”  He nodded and her nipples furled.  She was wet just
thinking
about it.  “Let me do this for you.” 

His voice was low.  “I’m not what you think I am.” 

“What do I think you are?” 

“Mild.  Gentle.” 

Hugging him tightly, she kissed him.  Pulling back, she stroked her fingers over his face.  “Then show me who you really are, Elijah.  I
love
you.  I
trust
you.”

He wrapped his hand around her throat. 

Brie held his gaze without blinking.  When he gradually tightened his grip, she wasn’t afraid.  Even when she
knew
she would lose consciousness, she
could not
fear him.

* * *

Elijah knelt naked at the side of the bed, watching as Brie woke.  Her reaction would determine more than she realized.

She tried to lift her arm and discovered she couldn’t.  There was a brief moment of confusion.  Turning her head, she found his eyes.  The moment she confirmed his presence, he watched her entire body ease. 

Silently, she simply stared at him.  He let the silence draw out between them and she didn’t fill it.  He saw questions in her eyes but she didn’t ask them. 

“I won’t
ever
do that again.”  She didn’t respond and he reached out to stroke her face.  Her eyes closed and she nuzzled him.  “I had to test you.  I had to know.” 

Midnight blue eyes opened and he could have drowned in them.  “You may speak, Brie.” 

“Teach me, Elijah.” 

That they were the first words from her mouth caused a ripple of shock to go through him that he hid from her. 

“The bindings are symbolic, tied loosely, meant as a reminder.”  She nodded.  “I didn’t bind your lower body.  I worry about your healing injuries.  Only one hand to the headboard, one to the base.  There’s a simple bow on the inside of each wrist that you can untie yourself if you need to.” 

She was completely relaxed and it made him love her more.

“Your safe word is whale.”  One side of her mouth lifted in a smile.  “Tell me when you should use your safe word.” 

“If I’m in actual pain or feeling real fear.” 

“You’re still mending.  Listen to your body carefully, Brie.  What you’re capable of now may be different than six months from now but I
will not
set your progress back.” 

“Thank you.  I trust you.” 

The statement filled him with pleasure.  “Do you have any questions?” 

“How can I please you, Elijah?”  He kissed her possessively, roughly, and she moaned into his mouth.  When he broke it, she tried to follow him and caught herself.  “Sorry.” 

For being such a fast learner, he kissed her again. 

Standing up, he put his hands beneath her arms and carefully moved her head just off the edge of the mattress.  He lightly massaged the back of her neck. 

“I’m okay.  Please.” 

The height of her bed was ideal for the position.  His only regret was that he’d be unable to see her face.  Resuming his full height, he traced the tip of his throbbing cock across her lips. 

“Open.”  She did so instantly.

Giving her just the head, he called on every control he’d ever learned to keep from coming. 

It wasn’t just the heat.  It wasn’t the wetness.  It wasn’t that he’d maintained abstinence for months in honor of her. 

It was the first time a woman made him feel
welcome
.  She sighed and her breath skated along his length. 

He fed her a bit more and she took him gladly.  When half of his cock was in her mouth, she pressed her thighs together. 

“Spread your legs.  Let tension build.”  Without hesitation, she separated her legs and inhaled carefully.  “Excellent.” 

Pulling back, she whimpered.  When she realized he wasn’t taking his cock, simply beginning to thrust, she moaned around him.  He watched as he disappeared between her lips and wondered at the intensity. 

Many women had sucked his cock over the last two decades.  A few were tied up at the time. 

Eventually, he came but it was usually out of boredom.  Tired of playing games with grasping females, he performed sexually as if from a script and quickly scrubbed all trace of them from his skin. 

Everything with Brie was different. 

He watched her nipples pebble tightly and
knew
she was wet from the act of sucking him.  Her heartrate was through the roof and he stroked his fingers through her silken hair. 

“When I can’t hold back another second, I’m going to come down your throat.  Then I’m going to eat you until you’re screaming, Brie.”  The mere thought made his mouth water. 

Her body tensed with a long whimper and she gripped the bindings with tight fists. 

“You deserve to come.  I deserve to taste you.” 

The moans she made around the flesh of his dick sent chills up his back and he increased the force of his thrusts.  He felt her breathing catch and pulled back slightly. 

She
growled
and tried to move her head to take more of him.  He gave her what she wanted and watched his cock move the skin on the underside of her jaw, the top of her throat. 

He gradually built the depth and speed of his strokes and she adjusted.  For several minutes, he tried to remain detached enough to extend the ecstasy he’d been desperate to experience since the first time he was close enough to see the beauty of her mouth, the fullness of her lips. 

Then she swallowed around the crest and he was lost. 

“Take me, Brie.”  Her entire body shook as she swallowed everything he had, easing the vise around his balls for the first time in months.  “
Fuck.
”

His legs trembled and he locked them out, riding every second of the bone-deep pleasure no woman had ever inspired. 

Empty, satisfied on a level he didn’t even recognize, he pulled from the heat of her mouth and crouched beside her.  She panted, whimpered from her chest, and he kissed her. 

Brie ate at his mouth and he untied her, knowing she needed to touch him.  The second she was free, her hands stroked over his face, neck, and shoulders. 

She wanted to hug him but shook too badly.  He sat on the side of the bed and lifted her to a sitting position. 

“Don’t let me go, Elijah.”  The words were whispered against his neck as she hugged him as hard as she was able.  “Harder.  Hold me harder.” 

Bringing her fully into his lap, he wrapped his strength around her and she absorbed it. 

After several minutes, she started to cry softly.  Elijah knew why, he understood.  He held her tighter.

* * *

Brie rode the most powerful sexual experience of her life, made so by the perfect blend of circumstances. 

Her mind was in complete chaos. 

The way the two men
looked
was a red herring.  It distracted her, kept her off balance, and blurred reality. 

It had been Elijah all along. 

He was her Hudson.  He was the man who spoke to her personality and understood how to evoke her true sexuality. 

She held him as hard as she could, taking what he offered for as long as possible because there was no denying the truth. 

Brie would
never
be allowed to keep him.