Racing for Freedom (13 page)

“Dash?”

I turn and see Lucas walking down the path wearing a tux. Oh no. Slade gets out of the car buttoning up his pants and I know how bad it looks. I know. Lucas’ gaze narrows and his eyes fill with pain.

“What’s going on?”

“Dash, are you with him?” Lucas whispers.

Slade is staring between us, not saying a word. I don’t think he’d dare right now.

“No, well, not exactly.”

“Did you fuck him?” Lucas says in a steely tone, I gasp, never having heard Lucas swear before, not like that anyway. “Well?”

I look down. “Yes.”

Lucas makes a pained sound and walks closer. “How could you?
After what he did to you?”

“She doesn’t need to answer to you Lucas, you aren’t her boyfriend.” Slade snaps.

“No but I love her more than you ever could!” Lucas yells.

“Luke
please, I know you’re hurt but we’re not together.” I say gently.

“You know I love you Dash, what is it going to take? What do I have to do to get you to give me a dammed chance?”

God, his words are crushing me.

“I…don’t…”

“You want him?” Lucas growls, his voice full of hurt.

“I don’t know what I want.”

“I was coming to be your date, I got off work and I was going to surprise you and I find you getting out of his car after you’ve just…” he points a finger at Slade and shakes his head. “Him…really?”

It’s raining again and we’re all getting soaked. Neither of us moves though. We all just stand there, staring at one another.

“I don’t know what’s happening here,” I cry. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

Lucas steps forward and cups my cheek in his hand. “Give me a chance Dash,
please, I’m begging you to let me try. I will cherish you. I will spoil you. I will tell you you’re beautiful every day. I will tell you I love you every night and I’ll always make you smile. I will give you more than him, because I love you more than he ever could.”

“You’re wrong Lucas,” Slade says, his voice low. “Y
ou won't always spoil her, or treat her like a princess. You won't tell her she's beautiful every day. You won't make her smile every night and you won't always want her the way you do now. That fades. Those giddy little stomach flutters fade and you're then left with reality. There will be days you will forget to tell her she's beautiful, even though she needs to hear it. There will be days you'll forget to say I love you. There will be days when you forget a birthday or an anniversary. There will be a time when she will walk past you, and you won't want to ravish her, the way you do now. Those things fade, and when they do, what's left is what's truly worth fighting for. Love isn't always beautiful, heck, it's not even close to being perfect half the time. Feelings change, the spark dies down and what you're left with is something you either chose to fight for or you don't. When you know that even though those things are gone, you're still willing to fight for her every breath, then you know the love is real.”

We stand on the sidewalk in silence for long moments.

“You have to choose Dash,” Lucas says. “I can’t keep living like this.”

“There is no choice, Lucas,” I whisper. “I have never led you
on, I’ve always been honest with you. I’ve always told you we can’t be more than friends. It hasn’t changed. I love you and you’re my best friend. I don’t want to lose you but I can’t be with you. That’s not saying I can be with Slade either, but Slade and I are a whole different story. I can’t be caught between this.”

Lucas looks hurt. “If that’s what you want…”

“Lucas, come on, you know I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t give you what you want, you deserve so much better. I don’t love you, how you want me to. You have to move on from me, you have to find someone who loves you as much as you love them.”

“I’m not good enough for you,” he whispers, then jabs a thumb at Slade. “But he is?”

“I didn’t say that,” I cry. “Stop putting words into my mouth.”

“That’s
enough, it’s time to stop this. She said she doesn’t want you like that, move on and stop being so damned pathetic,” Slade growls at Lucas.

Lucas spins around and before I realize what’s happening, he drives a fist into Slade’s face.

“You’re the reason she’s fucked up. You’re the reason she won’t love. You don’t get to tell me when to move on!” Lucas roars.

“Slade don’t!” I cry when I see Slade spin around and glare at Lucas. I know that look.

Slade storms past me and I try to grip his hand but miss. Slade swings and hits Lucas straight in the nose, I hear the sickening crack as Lucas’ head falls backwards and he stumbles into a nearby fence. Slade leaps at him and I scream, rushing after him.

“SLADE!
LUCAS!”

Slade drives a fist into Lucas’ face again and blood spurts out of his nose. I leap forward, trying desperately to stop them. I grip Slade’s arm but he just shakes me off and drives another punch. Shit, this is getting bad, fast.

“STOP!” I cry.

Lucas manages a hit and Slade’s head swings to the side.

“You don’t deserve her, you’re nothing but gutter trash!” Lucas growls.

“She doesn’t want you, get over it and move on. Are you so pathetic that you can’t take a hint? Face it, mate, it wasn’t you that she was just moaning for.” Slade spits.

I reach down and grip Slade’s arm just as Lucas’ blindly swings. His fist connects with my jaw and I stumble backwards with a scream. Both men stop fighting and stare over at me, both have blood trickling from their noses and lips. I grasp my face in shock. I know Lucas didn’t mean that, and by the look on his face he’s shocked.

“Dash…oh god,” he begins.

“You know what,” I hiss. “Kill each other, I’m done.”

I turn and rush off, pulling my phone from my bag. I dial the one person I know will help me.

“Payton, can you come and get me?”

I run a good three blocks before stopping and waiting at a bus stop. I quickly text Payton my location. She arrives about fifteen minutes later, just as Slade’s car screeches to a halt behind hers. They both jump out. She looks over at Slade’s bleeding lip and frowns. Then she turns to me and her mouth drops open.

“You…you…fucking bastard!” she screams.

“He didn’t do it,” I whisper.

“You have a black eye!”

She rushes over and drops down in front of me, taking my face in her hands and turning my face from side to side.

“It’s ok Pay,” I whisper.

“What happened?” she barks at Slade.

Slade is looking down at me and I dare to peer up and meet his eyes. I can’t read the emotion
there, so much is going on in those eyes right now. He stares at me so painfully it causes an instant burn in my chest. He walks over and kneels in front of me, taking my chin in his hand.

“You ok?”

“I just…I need to be alone Slade.”

“Dash, I’m sorry…for what happened back there.”

“What happened?” Payton cries, throwing her hands up.

Slade doesn’t look at
her, he keeps his eyes on mine.

“I’ll stay with dad tonight, ok?”

I nod weakly. He leans in, kisses my head and then stands. He looks over at Payton. “Take care of her,” he says then turns back to me. “I meant everything I said back there Dash, everything.”

Then he gets into his car and speeds off. Payton helps me up and she tucks me into the front seat of her car. I peer down the empty street and wonder where Lucas is. I wonder if he’s
ok? I wonder if I should go and look for him? Payton gets into the front of the car and looks over at me, she reaches out to squeeze my hand.

“Are you ok honey?”

I nod, swallowing. “Can we just drive a while before I go home?”

“Sure.”

We begin driving and for the first twenty minutes I’m quiet and Payton doesn’t push. Then I begin speaking.

“It was my dad’s fault.”

“What was?” she asks, not moving her eyes from the road.

“My mother’s death.
It was his fault.”

“I don’t…understand…”

“Slade’s father told me tonight that Slade caused the accident. After he left the party that night, he was drinking and driving and caused a lineup on the highway. My dad was coming home and…well…he slammed into the back of the cars and my mother’s head went into the dashboard. It killed her instantly. He was speeding and he was drunk. He blamed Slade and Slade took the blame, he said he got charged for drink driving. I get the feeling it’s why he went away for two years and I didn’t see much of him in the racing world in that time. He wouldn’t have had a license. Anyway, my father got away with it. All along…all along he warned me against Slade because he knew…”

“Oh Dash, I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t face him Payton, I don’t even know what I would say.”

“Take a few days, time always helps.”

“I can’t believe…I can’t believe it was always him.”

“You know he made a mistake Dash, your dad loved your mum.”

“I know that, I do, believe me but I also know he hid it from me and blamed Slade.”

“It was partly Slade’s fault.”

“I know that too, but my father shouldn’t have gotten into that car drunk and worse, he shouldn’t have lied to me. He let Slade take full blame for it and the only reason Slade isn’t in jail is because his car was stopped at the time of the accident.”

Payton nods, staring at the road ahead. “I don’t know what I can say…”

“It’s ok Pay, nothing can change it now.”

“What about the black eye?”

I sigh.

“I ran from the function when Michael told me about Slade. Anyway, Slade followed me and we got into a massive fight. He pushed me into his car, desperate to explain and he did. Then…well…”

Payton’s eyes widen but she doesn’t move them from the road, even though I know she wants to.

“What?”

“I slept with him Payton.”

“Oh…OH!”

“Yep, it was…god…Pay it was beautiful and I hate myself for it.”

“Why?”

“I shouldn’t be going there with Slade, he hurt me.”

“I know that honey, but you know what went on
now, you know why he did it.”

“I know why he
left, I just don’t know why he treated me badly for months before he left.”

“I know Dash, but you can’t keep running from what you want.”

I sigh and put my head in my hands.

“So how did sleeping with Slade result in a black eye? Does he like it
rough?”

I chuckle and she smiles over at me. Trust Payton to lighten the mood.

“Well, I got out of the car and Lucas was there. He was coming to surprise me at the function, he knew I didn’t have a date.”

“Oh no.”

“He was so upset Pay, I feel so awful. They said some harsh words and got into a fight. I leaned down to separate them and Lucas threw a punch at Slade, hitting me instead.”

“Oh no…poor Lucas.”

I sigh. “I know, I don’t even know if he’s ok.”

“He’ll be ok, he’s tough.”

“I know, but I’ll never forgive myself if this damages him.”

Pay takes my hand and squeezes. “It’ll be fine honey, come on, you need to rest. Do you want me to take you home?”

“Yes please, thank you.”

She nods and we’re both silent on the way home. When we pull up, I see Lucas standing out the front of my unit. I stare out the window, feeling a deep pang of hurt in my chest.

“Are you sure you want to talk now?” Payton asks.

“I have to
Pay, he’s my friend.”

She nods and leans over to hug me.

“Thank you, for everything,” I whisper.

“Always honey, call me if you need.”

I hug her once more and then slip out of the car. When her car disappears into the night, I begin slowly walking over towards Lucas. His face crumples in pain as he looks over my eye.

“Dash, I’m so sorry…”

I stare at his face with the same pain, Slade did a good job.

“Don’t be sorry
, Lucas, I’m the one that should be sorry.”

Lucas reaches out and his fingers slide over my swollen eye.

“I never meant to hurt you…”

“I know that,” I whisper.

“Dash, I wanted to see you before…I leave.”

My heart seizes and I feel my mouth opening at his words. “What?”

“It’s not forever, I just have to go away for a while. You were right Dash, you’ve never led me on. After that night we had together, you made it very clear that you didn’t want more. This wasn’t your fault, it was me not listening to something so clearly laid down for me. I hurt you because I didn’t listen. I just need to go and have a month or two away, I need to clear my head.”