Quiet Angel (39 page)

It was another
day of the same, another day closer to surgery. Layla stretched out on the sofa in the living room, a heating pad on her stomach. She said a prayer for peace, asking her angels to intervene. She hadn’t asked for much lately. This would be a good time for them to help. She was, after all, named after the angel of childbirth and conception.

She asked for a sign. Her mind had been so cluttered lately. She wondered if she’d been missing signs all over the place. She reached for the remote, flipping through some channels. She landed on an episode of “Teen Mom.”
Surely this isn’t a sign.
Her blood boiling, she strangled the remote with her hand.

“It’s not fair!” she cried. “These little girls can get pregnant!” She had a mind to hurl the remote at the flatscreen but instead made Gage’s briefcase her target. She’d asked him days ago to move it to his office, but it was still everywhere but there. She fired the remote at it just as Gage came in with a bowl of chicken broth.

“I’ll get it out of here,” he said, handing her the bowl and scooping up the briefcase, tossing it on the floor in the bedroom.

“Not in there!” she snapped. “Put it in your office!”

“OK, I’ll move it later.” He flipped off the television and rubbed her leg.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “That was hateful.”

“You can feel hateful right now if you want.”

“I shouldn’t take it out on your briefcase. And I shouldn’t be jealous of the teen moms.”

There was a knock at the door, and Gage got up to answer. Layla saw him talking to someone and could tell by the way he was standing, acting, that he was surprised by whoever was there. Gage shut the door and walked back, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Who’s at the door?”

“My mom,” he said sheepishly.

“What’s she doing here?”

“I told her you weren’t feeling well, and she hopped on a plane from Savannah.”

“I said I don’t want to anyone to know.”

“She dragged it out of me. I didn’t think she’d show up at our door!”

“You are such a ‘momma’s boy,’” she said, smiling.

“Do you want me to tell her to leave?”

“That would be real good for my relationship with her.”

“How about I tell her
I
want her to go?”

“She won’t believe that.” Layla wiped her eyes and patted her hair. “I’m sure I look like hell.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Liar. Let her in.”

“I’ll make sure she just stays a few minutes.” He hustled to the door and got his mother.

Helen handed him her purse, shooed him to his office, and greeted Layla. “You poor thing! Gage told me you didn’t really want anyone to know or to see anybody. But I just had to come.”

“I don’t want anyone to worry.”

“I’m a mother. I’m supposed to worry. That way I can blame my wrinkles on my children.”

Layla smiled. “Did you bring any of those little bottles of whiskey? I could use a few of those right now.”

“Let me tell you what helps in these situations—family. We are a close family. We’re here for you. Better to be honest with family. My husband wasn’t about his illness. Really had an effect on Gage.”

“I know. I’m just feeling so. . . .”

“Worthless, incapable, insecure, sad, angry, depressed.”

Layla’s eye’s bulged. “Exactly.”

“I’ve been there, honey. You think Emerson and Gage being 10 years apart was planned? His father and I struggled for years to get pregnant again. Back then, they didn’t have all these fancy procedures to help. We’d given up on having another child and then. . . .” She snapped her fingers. “There he was.”

“He’s a good guy,” Layla said, holding back tears. “I know he wants kids.”

“Gage wants you more than anything, even kids. His life only makes sense with you. Don’t give up hope.”

“Mom,” Gage said, coming out of his office, “Layla really should rest.”

Helen kissed her son on the head and headed to the door with him. “She’s in a fragile place right now, Gage. You have to stay strong for her. You must do whatever it takes to take care of her.”

Gage nodded and looked over at his laptop.
I already did.

*

Gage was nervous.
He knew Layla was, too. He couldn’t wait to get to sleep, for the morning to come, for the surgery to be over, for some good results. He crawled into bed beside her.

“I need you to promise me something,” Layla said. “Promise me that when I’m in surgery, you won’t let them take anything out. I don’t care how bad it is. Don’t let them take out my ovaries or my uterus.”

“Come on, Angel. I mean, the doctor. . . .”

“No matter what, Gage.”

“But if the doctor says he needs to remove something to help you feel better. . . .”

“I need to know you won’t let him. I already told the doctor, but I need you to promise, too.”

“I can’t promise that.”

“Then we have no chance,” she said and turned away from him. “There’s no hope.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “Quiet, Angel. I know in my heart you’re going to be fine, perfect.”

*

“Layla,” a whisper
called out. “Layla, wake up.”

She shot up and looked around. She could barely hear the voice and didn’t recognize it. Gage wasn’t saying her name. He was fast asleep, exhausted. He’d worried himself into a coma. A hurricane couldn’t wake him right now. She looked at Pippa, sitting up and staring at the ceiling. The dog was the only other soul in the world awake right now.

She thought she must be dreaming. She looked at the clock—three hours until the alarm, until they went off to the hospital. She felt her stomach twinge. The surgery needed to go OK. And Gage needed to do as she asked. She didn’t want to give up hope. His mother told her not to. But it was hard not to fear the worst.

“Layla,” the voice said again, a bit louder, a bit more clearly.

Layla’s heart skipped a beat. She knew the voice this time. It had been so long. She hadn’t heard it since she was a child.
Aria.
Her body warm and tingling, she threw off the covers. Pippa was still staring at the ceiling, transfixed by it. Layla looked up, but there was nothing. At least she couldn’t see anything—not a sparkle, not a shred of light.

It didn’t make sense. Aria would always come with a flicker, but there was nothing but darkness now. Maybe Aria was coming in a different way this time. Maybe Aria had changed her
modus operandi
over the past 20 years. Or maybe, and more likely, Layla was just going crazy, hearing things, finally losing her mind. That’s probably what was happening.

She ran her fingers through Gage’s sandy blond hair then traced her fingers down his chest, along the path of the leather rope cord holding her wings. She loved he always wore them. She was thankful he was in her life, that he’d be with her before and after the surgery. She reached for the clock and turned off the alarm. There was no way she was going back to sleep now.

“Layla!”

She stood up and glanced towards the bedroom window, faint shades of red, blue, and yellow coming through the curtains. She rubbed her eyes and stepped closer to the window, pulling the curtains to the side, finding a lunar rainbow flying across downtown Atlanta. She threw her hands over her mouth, and her eyes welled up with tears.
I’m going to be OK
.

She had to get a better look out on the balcony. But she didn’t want to wake up Gage. So she headed there through the living room, her once-wobbly legs now moving with a spring. She couldn’t wait to get outside, so anxious to see what Aria had left her, but tripped over Gage’s briefcase and fell forward, barely keeping herself upright.
How many times do I have to tell him?
She reached down to pick it up and felt an array of papers littering the floor.

She shuffled the papers into a pile and put them and the briefcase on a living room table. Then she stepped out onto the balcony, the cold cement on her feet giving her goosebumps, and looked up into the night sky. The arc of Aria’s rainbow was sweeping high across the moon, painting the sky with bright full colors. She’d never seen anything like this. She’d asked for a sign, and Aria delivered big time.

She had to tell Gage. She slipped back into the living room and walked past the table, flicking on a lamp. One word leaped off a page.
Baxter
. She sat down to steady herself, her blood pressure skyrocketing, her hands shaking, a thin layer of sweat covering her body. She scanned the papers. It didn’t make sense he’d send money to her mother, the woman who never believed her, never protected her, and sold her out to the world.

She’d told Gage so many times she hated secrets. He never listened. And this was more than just a secret. This was betrayal. She put the papers back in the briefcase and looked out towards the balcony. The rainbow was gone. The time for rainbows was over.

*

Gage opened his
eyes and stared at the clock. They were going to be late to the hospital. The alarm hadn’t gone off. He reached for Layla to shake her awake, but she wasn’t there. He called out for her. She didn’t answer. He looked around the house. She wasn’t there.

He came back to the bedroom and looked at the alarm clock. He’d double-checked he set it last night. Now he saw it was turned off.
Why would she turn it off?
He stared down at the cold, empty sheets and began to panic.

His hands shaking, this was the nightmare he’d had so many times, waking up to her gone, vanishing in the middle of the night, leaving him scared, confused, lathered in a sweat. He was back to being 18.

He looked around the house again and made dozens of calls. No one knew anything. He tried Poppy, but no answer. She was probably sleeping. He thought to call the police but knew they wouldn’t do anything, not at this point, except maybe be suspicious of him.

She promised she’d never run again, but he always feared she would. It was always in the back of his mind. It made no sense for her to run now, just because she was scared of surgery, scared of maybe not having children.

He was pissed she’d do this again. She wasn’t a teenager on a faraway island anymore. She had a lot going for her. She had a home, a dog, a husband. She should be able to face her fears, to rely on him for help.

Instead, she left him behind again, without a note or the courtesy of a phone call, without any regard for his feelings. She had no idea how humiliating and horrible it was to call friends and neighbors asking if they’d seen his wife.

He reached for the leather cord around his neck, hoping it didn’t take another 12 years to find her. He tried Poppy again. Hopefully Layla was at her apartment, just needing a girlfriend’s perspective before surgery.
Please be there
.

Poppy answered this time. She knew nothing. He believed her. She sounded as scared as he was. She said she was coming right over. She showed up with Dash within minutes. “Have you heard from her?” Gage asked frantically.

“No,” Poppy said.

“Where the hell is she? Why would she just leave me in the middle of the damn night
again
?”

“I don’t know.”

Dash rubbed Poppy’s shoulders and whispered, “What’s he talking about ‘again’?”