Quicksilver Dreams (Dreamwalkers) (20 page)

“Whoa.” He turned me around. “Still a little jumpy?”

I gave him a nonhumorous look. “I’m trying to keep it together,”

“Breathe.” He pulled me to his chest. It was bare and smelled heavenly. “Nothing’s going to hurt you here.”

This really did help me to back off the edge of the cliff and feel calm again.

My face nuzzled his chest. It began as a means of seeking comfort, but then my lips lightly touched his warm skin, and it felt so good and he smelled so good that I badly wanted to taste him, bite at him. I heard him groan as he heard my thoughts. His arms tightened around me. One of his hands lightly fisted the hair on the back of my neck and pulled me more firmly into the curve of his body. My breathing went shallow again, but for an entirely different reason.

Taylor...what’s happening?

I
don’t know.

Can you feel it?

I
don’t know what this is.
Everything is so new to me.

You...affect me.
He admitted this hesitantly, darkly.

“I’m not trying to.” I pulled back to look into his troubled face. I could see a shadow of vulnerability in his eyes that touched me. I wanted to reach out to him.

He frowned and stepped away from me.
I
can’t be distracted.
It was the last thought I read from him before he put his shield up once again. Strangely, it pained me when he did that. The mood officially became more businesslike, a shutter coming down over his eyes.

“You’re okay?” His words became more formal. He leaned casually against the window.

“Cool as a cucumber” was my clever reply, though partly I wanted to see more of his vulnerable side. I was tired of being the only one with a visible, fragile underbelly. Reluctantly, I put up my own mental shield. It felt warm and intimate to have him in my mind, but it was a sure way to get hurt. That kind of feeling was addicting, but it wasn’t going to last, so why invite pain? Funny how quickly you could learn new habits.

Part of my daily ritual now was going to be the need to watch my mental exposure. I wondered briefly if there were laws here against mental public indecency?

“Hey, so what is it you keep calling me? There’s a word, and I kept meaning to ask if it is a word from your language?
Lin’de?
” I tested it softly.

He nodded.

“What does it mean?”

Was that a light flush spreading across his cheeks?

His eyes burned into mine. “It means...beauty.”

My smile spread across my face shyly. I could live with that. His name for me was Beauty. If I thought on it too long, it would make me get teary.

“You okay now?”

I did a quick internal schematics check. “I think I’m okay now.”

“It’s a lot to take in.”

“Isn’t it though? What am I doing here, Ryder? I shouldn’t be here.” I shook my head helplessly, gesturing toward the vast jungle that was so beautifully framed below us. “I just...”

“What do you need? I’ll take care of it.”

“I don’t know. A shower?” Maybe getting clean would help me feel human again, would help me get my head on straight, so I could start thinking my way through this problem.

“I can set that up for you.”

He smelled all spicy, like he’d just taken a shower with that good-smelling soap. It reminded me that I likely had raccoon eyes from the makeup I’d worn yesterday, and that probably my hair was half up and half down and sticking out all over the place. Damn, but I needed some makeup remover and a brush. Only Cynthia had ever seen me so unkempt before.

I was reaching new lows.

I turned to look out the window once again and took a deep breath. “So, are there like reptile-man people out there, like on
Star Trek
? Or maybe dinosaur-kangaroo hybrids with large sharp teeth made for ripping human flesh apart?”

He smirked. “Humans. No hybrids. But don’t expect to find exactly the same animal species here either. There are some that are similar—some feline creatures, some wolflike creatures—but also some extras. Some are safe, others aren’t, so don’t touch anything unless you know for sure it’s a friendly.”

“I’m not likely going to be here long enough for it to matter, I suppose,” I replied. I was saddened by the realization. I felt this connection, this mixing of our physical energies, as absurd as that seemed in so short a time. Maybe it was artificial and based on our series of life-and-death circumstances, but there you have it. I was beginning to care about him.

My eyes stared out the window as I contemplated my words.

We’d shared kisses, and he’d saved my life, but there was no way this was going to go anywhere. Right? I mean, talk about your long-distance relationships! We weren’t even in the same solar system. With some amusement, I figured I needed to stop my runaway thoughts, or I’d end up practicing the supergirly act of writing his last name after mine with silly hearts around our initials, or something else equally foolish.

I came back to the present just in time to feel my foot being grabbed, roughly. I yelped with surprise and yanked my foot back so as not to fall.

“What the hell is this?” Ryder’s voice was a deadly whiplash of anger. He was kneeling, glaring up at me. Surprised by the emotional turn of tide, I was alarmed by his look of betrayal. A flash of pain seemed to radiate from his tortured eyes, eyes that blamed me for something terrible.

“What’s the matter?” I asked with genuine concern. I could hardly focus on his words, after seeing the force of his sudden anger.

“Mylunate. You told me you had no idea what I was talking about.” His eyes blazed up at me accusingly, but I could see he was actively trying to soften his voice. “Please. Tell me about this.”

“Ryder, I don’t know what that is,” I insisted sincerely, but I saw immediately that he didn’t believe me, which felt like a slap in the face.

“Where did you get it, Taylor? Who gave it to you?” He stood swiftly, effortlessly, towering over me.

I couldn’t seem to catch up. Did I get bonked on the head here? We were just having a pleasant moment, we’d shared kisses last night, and now I was to be distrusted again?

“Look.” Ryder took a breath, but there was that vein starting to pop out at his temple. His patience was evaporating. “We didn’t know each other before, and who knows what Grayson told you to bring you on board, but now you need to come clean. You have no idea how important this is. I want info on the network, and you’re going to provide that to me.”

“What network? What are you talking about?”

“Grayson’s.”

I shook my head with disbelief.

“Haven’t we covered this material already? Who is Grayson?” We’d done a whole show on this same subject just a few days ago where we’d uttered the same shitty lines to each other. It was time to move on.

“I’m trying to be cool here, Taylor. I don’t think you’re a bad person, I just think you don’t know what you got yourself into.” His voice grew louder with his frustration.

“That’s for damn sure.” I scowled at him, gritting my teeth against my own pissed-offness. “Gee, thanks for the compliment. I’m so glad you don’t think I’m a bad person.”

“Cut the bullshit. You’re going to tell me about the mylunate, and then we’ll figure out what to do.” His voice came out all snappy. “Help me solve this, Taylor.”

“What we’re going to do? Do you mean with me?” I wanted to laugh, except not. There was no way I was going to win in this situation. I was automatically a criminal in his mind. What kind of fucked-up world did he live in that he would have to immediately come down on me after all we’d gone through together? What kind of fucked-up shit had happened to him that he couldn’t see me? Part of me felt empathy, but the larger part was building a very hurt-based mad.

“If you’re going to refuse to cooperate, then this is beyond my control. Traitors are usually put to death, but considering you aren’t from our planet, you might get leniency. Especially if you provide information.”

WTF? “Traitor?” How could he say that about me? The lid blew off my pressure cooker in reaction. That was a fucking loaded-ass word.

Heat scorched my cheeks, and my inner bitch opened her door in self-defense as a knee-jerk reaction.

“Traitor,” he ground out.

“How’s about this? You’re going to back the hell off, explain to me what you’re talking about, and then I’ll decide if I feel like sharing anything with you.”

“Good hiding place, by the way.” As though I hadn’t said anything, he took a casual walk across the room to stand by the bookcase and rummage through a small, ornate, metal-worked box.

His stony gaze caught mine, and I couldn’t stop the pain that stabbed my chest. I didn’t recognize the cold stranger who stood before me as the same one who’d saved me the day before and had been just this morning calling me by an endearment.

“What hiding place?”

“What man would look at your toes when you offer other, more
titillating
sights?” His face was grim, giving nothing away, which was why I was listening for clues.

“That, on my toe, is what you were talking about? The metal stuff? That’s mylunate?” I had completely forgotten it was there.

“Stop the act, Taylor. Tell me the truth, so this doesn’t have to get worse for you.” He lifted something circular and metallic from the box and shut it.

Were those...handcuffs? Holy shit! What the hell was this? He was going to hold me here? Take away my freedom? Dismissed, disregarded and discounted, yet again. My alarm became full-fledged anger. Someone was trying to kill me. I had no home to go to that was safe, and no one to turn to for help, including him. How stupid I was to put myself in the position of leaning on someone! What the hell was I thinking?

My eyes burned.

I faced off with him, my body hot with growing hurt and rage.

“You son of a bitch!” I snapped through a sheen of tears. “Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can just treat me like shit whenever you feel justified, and believe I’m going to play along like a good little girl? You think you can play hot and cold, lover one minute and monster the next, and that I’m just going to stand here and take it from you?”

“I know who the hell I am. I’m the guy tracking down a killer through the trails of death and destruction he leaves behind. I don’t know who you are.” He snarled, shoving the handcuffs into his back pocket. “But I’m going to paint a picture for you. I was covered in my cousin’s blood only months ago from the last terrorist attack your network launched on us. She bled out in my arms, pleading with me to save her, and there was nothing...nothing I could do to stop it. When your arm’s been blown off and your body’s been ripped apart by shrapnel, there are only moments left to live. She was eighteen.”

Grimacing at the image, I said, “I’m sorry for your loss, but I had nothing to do with it!”

“My aunt survived, barely, but wished for her own death when she saw what had happened to her daughter. She begged the Great Spirits to take her life. Begged. Do you know what it’s like to watch people you love live out their worst fucking nightmares? There’s nothing you can do. Not a fucking thing! I couldn’t save them.”

Able to picture the scene, but unable to handle seeing the tortured look on Ryder’s face, I blinked hot tears down my cheeks. How could I respond to that? “It sounds horrible. Horrible.” My breath hitched on a dry sob. He opened his mind, and I saw chaos, the dazed look of dawning horror on the faces of the people.

“Hundreds bloodied and maimed. Sixty died, all families with little children. A bloodbath—”

“Stop!” It was too raw. It hurt too much. His eyes looked too haunted. He held me responsible for these horrible acts. It wasn’t like he thought I was a bitch; he thought I was inhuman. A monster. “I don’t want to hear any more!”

“You need to hear it!” He grabbed my arms roughly. “Think about how these were real people before you consider lying to me again.”

Shoving him away was like trying to move a wall. Angry tears continued to fall as I tried to twist away from him. “Get off me! I can’t believe you’re saying this. You’ve been in my head. You’ve been in my life. You know I’ve been targeted! I’m not responsible!”

“You aren’t the first Earth-bound human I’ve caught who tried to convince me of their innocence, but you’re the first who made me question my judgment and overlook all the evidence pointing to you—”

“What evidence? There’s no evidence, because I’m innocent.” I swiped with resentment at the moisture on my cheeks.

The muscle in his jaw ticked wildly. “Thousands more are likely to be murdered before this is over, and I’m surrounded by liars and traitors—”

“Wait a minute! Let’s turn this around. The only one here who’s lied and manipulated is you! You think you’re so innocent, but you worked me over in my sleep! How long have you been watching me?”

His eyes blazed a darker shade of green as he let go of me and snagged the cuffs again, but I didn’t back down. I lifted my chin in silent challenge, daring him to bring it.

“Long enough to know that you expect to call all the shots. You don’t get to do that with me. Only one of us knows what the hell is going on, and until you convince me that you have nothing to do with this fucking war on my people, you’re a suspect, especially when I find the fucking evidence on your goddamn toe! And you have no way to explain it.”

“I don’t need to
explain
anything! I’m an innocent bystander in all this. I’m sorry that you’ve lost family members, but I’ve had nothing to do with this.”

“There’s only one way you could have gotten that substance legitimately, and that didn’t happen, because
only a few of us
have access to it, and I sure as shit know I didn’t give any of it to you! If you don’t start talking, you leave me no choice.”

“What does that mean?”

“I take you to the high-council courthouse, where you get imprisoned and possibly tortured until you start talking.”

Torture?

This was totally surreal. Just a few minutes ago, I’d been standing here practically drawing mental hearts with our initials in the middle, and now he was treating me like I was his enemy. If there was ever a time that I felt alone and ready to cry it was now, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction anymore. Even more frightening? From somewhere deep in my soul came the wish that he would suddenly give me a tender look and that this was all some sort of misunderstanding. But it wasn’t.