Questing Sucks! Book II (69 page)

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Authors: Kevin Weinberg

Tags: #Fantasy

BOOK: Questing Sucks! Book II
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Cah’lia took two slow, cautious steps away towards the opposite end of the stage. She doubted she could jump across the gap in the middle. Actually, there was no way she could launch herself that many feet across it. She’d have to drop off the rear of the stage and climb up on the other side.

Before doing anything else, she took just a few small steps to ensure that Duncan would not notice her moving away. She doubted his hearing was all that good, but perhaps he was keeping tabs on her through some magical means. Then again, would he bother stopping her even if he did know she intended to escape? Maybe not. Especially since he seemed more than busy enough in dealing with Issius.

The Archmage stood with his arm extended and his staff pointed in Issius’s direction. In a loud, confident voice, he asked, “Where is this warrior, Issius? Bring him forward and let me face him.”

“He’s already here,” Issius said, speaking with equal confidence in his words.

“He is, is he? Where? I don’t see him.”

With a wicked grin appearing on his lips, Issius lifted his thumb. “Look up.”

Duncan looked where Issius indicated, and when he did, his fingers on his staff loosened, and it nearly fell out of his hand. “That…
that
is your warrior?” he asked with a wheeze and a cough. “
Him
?”

Cah’lia knew it was foolish to allow herself to be distracted, especially when now was the perfect time to fetch Kellar, Orellia, and Shina, then leave before anyone bothered to notice. Yet she stayed put for a moment despite this, and it was mostly due to the Archmage’s reaction at seeing whoever it was that’d shown up to face him. It made Cah’lia curious: too curious. She was unable to resist tilting her head up to steal just a quick peek at the warrior Issius had called upon. Who could it possibly be that it would give the Archmage such shock?

From where she was standing, she couldn’t get a good enough look at where Issius was pointing to see for herself, as from this angle, two tall buildings obscured her view, and whatever they were looking at was between them. But as things turned out, Cah’lia didn’t need to see the warrior to have the same reaction that Duncan just had—because there was a sound that filled the air, and it told her all she needed to know. Upon hearing it, her own dagger almost slipped out of her fingers.

Even before the warrior appeared from between the two buildings and into her view, there came a deafening, ominous roar: the cry of something neither human nor elf. A sound that held enough power behind it so that everyone except Patrick instinctively lifted their eyes the moment its deep, rumbling echo drowned out every other noise in the city square.


MOOOOOPPH!
” a creature roared. It finally appeared from between the two buildings, soaring at tremendous speeds into the city square, and it sounded angry. “
MOOOOOOOPH!

Cah’lia choked on her own saliva. She forced herself to swallow it back down, clearing her airway. Two beings now occupied the skies above her, and it was not the sight of the massive white gryphon that shocked her. No, not at all. And why would it be? Sure, perhaps to someone not yet familiar with its rider, the gryphon itself would be something of a unique attraction—a spectacle to behold. After all, it was nearly twice as large as the average gryphon, its wings much wider, and Cah’lia recalled it being said that gryphons of this size—also known as King gryphons—were untamable.

But no, it was not the gryphon that caused her throat to dry and her heart to pound against her chest. Rather, it was the elf with the green eyes, the fancy teal-colored robe, and the overly dramatic frown that drew her attention. It was the elf she had come here to save, but who had clearly saved his own self. Everything she had put herself through to get here—all of her struggles. It had all been for the purpose of rescuing him. And yet here he was, all by himself, and with a look on his face that so clearly implied trouble—the sort of look where Cah’lia knew it would be unavoidable.

“Cah’lia, what are you doing?” Patrick asked, grabbing her hand and trying to pull her along. “Cah’lia! Now is
not
the time for gawking.”

“Yes it is,” she whispered, unsure of whether to be elated, surprised, or even if she should feel anything at all. “Look up, Patrick. The ‘warrior’ has arrived.”

“I don’t care! We need to—”

Cah’lia pulled her hand away from him, then reached out and grabbed his jaw, forcing him to look upwards. The result was a loud whoosh as Patrick exhaled what must’ve been all of the air in his lungs.

“That’s…”

“THE GREAT SEHN HATH ARRIVED!” the gryphon’s rider howled, his voice managing to be louder than everyone else’s to the point that it was impossible
not
to hear him. The people of Magia took their eyes off his gryphon and gazed solely upon him as if transfixed, fascinated, and a good deal uncertain. “I HAVE COME FOR YOU, ARCHMAGE DUNCAN!”


Mooph!
” his gryphon barked in agreement. “M
…m…mooph, moverfukr!

“Well done, Sehn Two. Good, good. Release your divine profanities upon these lowly beings.”

“Mooph!”

He taught it that?
Cah’lia thought.
He actually spent the time required to teach it that?

“This isn’t happening,” Patrick whispered, whipping his head around as if searching for somewhere to flee. “
Sehn
is their great warrior? Of all the great and powerful mages in Magia, they picked
him
?”

Cah’lia wasn’t sure what to say in response to that, though even if she knew what words to use, she wouldn’t have gotten the chance to speak them, because Sehn responded to him directly.

“I HEARD THAT, YOU WHISPERING COWARDLY FUCK!” he bellowed down to Patrick, whose entire body went rigid like a plank of wood.

“FOOLISH PATRICK! DID YOU THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE THE GREAT SEHN IS ALL THE WAY UP HERE IT MEANS HIS MINION DID NOT OVERHEAR WHAT LITTLE PRINCE BITCHES ARE WHISPERING ABOUT DOWN THERE? I SHALL DROWN YOU IN A SWAMP!”

Sehn stood up to his feet on top of his massive gryphon and spread his arms out wide as though to balance himself. As ridiculous as he was, Cah’lia rejoiced at the sight of seeing him alive and well. It didn’t matter to her how obnoxious and foolish he was being at this moment. Just seeing him again…just knowing he was still alive after she had thought for sure he was dead. That alone was enough to give her the first true breath of air she’d taken in what seemed like forever. Even on the way up here she’d had her doubts that he and the children still lived. But there he was, alive, and as wildly out of control as always.

What makes him think he can fight Duncan?
Cah’lia wondered, a sudden fear rising in her gut as she recalled their last encounter. It would be tragic for her to see him here alive only to then watch him sent away again or see him killed. Clearly, though, from the way he regarded Duncan with his nose curled, his teeth bared, and his eyes alight with self-assurance, he did not seem to harbor these same concerns. Maybe it was because he hadn’t seen the full extent of Duncan’s power the way that she and the others had.

Cah’lia became nervous. She knew just from the sneer on his face that there was nothing anyone could do to stop him from unleashing his anger on Duncan. He shoved out his chest and laughed arrogantly while he balanced himself on the gryphon.

“At long last, the Great Sehn has come to destroy you, Archmage!” he declared, the city square eerily quiet while he spoke. “Foolish old man. Did you really think you could send me to another world
just
to avoid destruction at the hands of your God? Hah! Just for that, I shall attach strings to your decaying body and turn you into a dancing puppet to frighten children. Prepare yourself! The Great Sehn declares war on you!”

Bending his knees, Sehn sprang up into the air and off the gryphon’s back, flipping several times midair before entering a nosedive and heading directly down for the stage, face-first, with both his hands gripped into fists and extended fully out in front of him. Cah’lia held her breath. He’d never survive a fall from that height.

“H-he’s going to kill himself!” Patrick shouted. “What’s he thinking?”

“Relax,” Issius said. Cah’lia hadn’t been paying any attention to him, and so she hadn’t realized that he’d made his way over to them at some point in the past few minutes; two other mages flanked his sides. “He has been well trained. Just watch and see for yourself. I am confident in his abilities. So confident, in fact, that I have placed the fate of Magia in his hands.”

Cah’lia had so many questions. There was so much she wished she could understand, such as how Sehn had escaped and why he had come here. It wasn’t so much the fact that he was here itself that surprised her, as she’d had a strong suspicion he was around from all the bizarre, Sehn-like things that’d begun happening ever since that first robed man had killed himself on stage. But how, exactly, had he broken free? How much involvement had he had in saving their lives? What was this “training” Issius spoke of? And also, what was the deal with that little thing calling itself a pixie who was clapping and cheering him on? There seemed to be some kind of connection between the two, but she couldn’t quite place it just yet;

These were all things she’d need to puzzle out in good time, but as for right now, she couldn’t even begin to concentrate as she watched Sehn plummet down to the stage while yelling out more of his nonsense at Duncan.

Is he seriously trying to give an entire speech while he falls?

“Prepare for the end, Archmage Duncan!” Sehn shouted, picking up speed, descending faster and faster. “Now at long last, after a million-year slumber, the dawn of the Dark Lord of Magic has arrived, and the world shall know terror. Tremble in fear before your God. Cower before the Great Sehn, who lives for destruction and
thrives
on misery! You see, fool, it all began many years ago in a meadow during the summer harvest. Oh, how I can still recall the way the early-morning mist would add a scent of—
OH SHIT
!”

Cah’lia winced as, with a grotesque-sounding slap, Sehn slammed face-first into the stage near Duncan’s feet, kicking up dust and wooden chips in the process and bringing about an immediate end to whatever he’d been trying to say. The people of Magia, having been told that their lives rested in his hands, were understandably dismayed; they murmured nervously and grabbed one another at the sight of Sehn’s body, which lay lifeless and unmoving.

“Oh, no. Oh, Gods,” Patrick murmured.

“Sehn!” Shina cried. “Sehn, what happened? Sehn!”

“Did he…die?” Issius asked, sounding both humiliated and perplexed. “What just happened? After all the training we did, I don’t…I don’t understand how he could have…what in the
hell
just happened?”

Cah’lia was only a moment away from running over to him when, with a groan, Sehn proved himself to be still among the living, may the Gods be thanked! He growled a few unpleasant-sounding vulgarities while he slowly crawled back to his feet, appearing somewhat off-balance and coming near to tipping over before eventually straightening himself out. A bit of blood trickled down his chin, and he even coughed a few times. Then he shook his head, spun around, and with rage in his voice, he shouted, “Goddammit, Patrick! You made me mess up!”


Wh—
what? How?”

“Because your aura of bitch made air turbulence and I fell the wrong way, that’s how.”

“Sehn,” Patrick began calmly, “I have less than no idea what is happening anymore, but please, don’t blame me for your error.”

“Error?” Sehn pointed at him with a shaking, threatening finger. “How
dare
you accuse the Great Sehn of making an error? Your
face
is an error, fool! And so is the face of thy mother!”

Patrick showed no reaction to the insult other than to frown, though Cah’lia suspected the frown had little to do with Sehn’s rudeness and everything to do with an injury he’d sustained but did not appear aware of.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Patrick asked.

“Of course I’m all right!”

“But what about…about that?” he said uneasily, pointing to Sehn’s right shoulder, where a spike-shaped piece of wood was lodged at least a few inches into his skin.

“Hmm?”

Sehn lowered his eyes and tilted his head down. When he saw it, he made a strange sort of grimace followed soon after by a frightened squeak. Then, after swearing loudly, he grabbed it, moaned in pain, and pulled it out of him. Small red droplets fell off the tip and onto the stage.

“That…that was on purpose,” Sehn mumbled. “I am so powerful that I need to…that I need to stab myself in order for it to be fair for the pathetic Archmage. All shall bow before my fairness and mercy. Now, get out of the way. All of you!”

Without another word, Sehn snapped his fingers, and his tremendous gryphon descended from the sky and landed upon the stage. Sehn hopped on its back, gave it a pat on the top of its head, and then it lifted up in the air and flew off with him, leaving their sight completely.

As Cah’lia watched his gryphon disappear, she became increasingly more confused. Because just like that, without giving any reason or explanation, he was gone—he’d flown away. And after several more seconds had gone by, she realized he’d actually done the one thing in the world she never would’ve believed possible of him.

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