Questing Sucks! Book II (39 page)

“But why would there be a giant shadow monster in here, Sehn? Just…why?”

Sehn was losing his cool with the woman. “I don’t know, Cah’lia. I’m not the authority on fucking shadow monsters! You’re the one who’s afraid of a little boy.”

“Oh, come on! He’s
clearly
a ghost—I think. I’ve heard stories about this kind of thing in Elvar. But he’s definitely not a regular little boy.”

“Okay, and? What of it? As we can both see, there is nothing here except some stupid-looking mystery boy, and by the Gods! The Great Sehn has much better things to do than to spend all evening playing word games with a ghost-child!”

“And there you go again,” Cah’lia said, heat growing in her voice. “Everything always has to be about
you
. About what
you
have time for. Just for once, I’d like you to—”

The robed boy cleared his throat, and Cah’lia stopped speaking. Sehn had forgotten all about him. The boy positioned himself between the two of them and looked back and forth, the surprise on his face suggesting
they
were the odd creatures in the room. He had somehow become paler in the last few moments. Perhaps Cah’lia was right and he was in fact a ghost. His skin was now as white as the sheet on a pillow.

“After four-hundred thousand years,” the boy said, “I am pleased to know that the lovely creatures of this world can still surprise me. Although, I must say, you two are among the most unique beings I have ever encountered.”

Sehn’s rage intensified at the comment. Just
who
did this ghost-fool think he was calling a creature?

“Who are you?” Cah’lia asked, the fear once again returning to her voice.

The boy wiggled his finger at her. “I might have told you, but it’s clear to me that this isn’t the time or place. Suffice to say, one day you will most certainly learn. So, in the interest in preserving time, let us skip to what matters for the here and now.”

The boy turned his head towards Sehn. A smile still decorated his face, which now seemed to glow and emit a faint light. Sehn gave him a look of disgust.

Foolish ghost-creature
!
Thinking he’s so much better than the Great Sehn just ‘cause he can say weird words and glow
.
Fuck him
!

“What do you want?”

The boy sighed. “I should have listened to what the others had to say about you. I did not think I would ever have to deal with another person like you. Surely, I told myself, there can’t be more than one of you. And yet here you are, just as she was, just as she is.”

Sehn resisted the intoxicating urge to stab this ghost child with his blade. “How
dare
you speak ambiguously to the Great
Sehn!
Congratulations, ghost-boy-fool. You’ve just earned yourself a five-thousand Elven fine.”

“Just as she is,” he repeated.

“Who?” Sehn asked.

“She. Just as she is.”

“Curse you! Tell me now: what nonsense do you speak, ghost boy? Say it clearly, or I shall capture you and put you in a jar to impress my friends with. The Great Sehn has need of a ghost minion. Now that I think of it, you would do well as my ally. There is much I could use you for. But first, you must stop speaking nonsense.”

“I do not speak nonsense, Sehn, son of Suhn.”

“I see you have heard of my name. Good. That is the minimum requirement for me to spare your life.”

The boy chuckled. “This conversation did not go as I had planned it. No, not at all. But regardless, it can still end the same way. So, let me leave you with this: I know that you are looking for something. More to the point, I know both what you are looking for and why you search for it. I normally refrain from tampering with this world, at least for free. Hmm, this is troubling. You have failed the test. I should not help you.”

“The what? What test?” Sehn demanded.

“Never mind.” The boy sighed. “That which you seek can be found nearby. Very close, in fact. Head towards the guard quarters near the city’s northern gate. Inside, you will find that all the guards have been slain, and those you seek remain sheltered inside.”

Sehn blinked. He wasn’t certain, but was the boy speaking about Nero and Rina? Cah’lia seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because she came over and clutched Sehn’s arm, communicating with him through unspoken words.

“Okay, now I’m actually curious.” Sehn pointed at the boy. “Tell me, who are you? Why are you here, what is this place, and how do you know what it is we’re after?”

“Oh,” the boy said, placing his fist close to his mouth and chuckling. “So
now
you want to know?” He lifted his chin and laughed loudly. His voice became distant, and his entire body began to shine with an intense light. “Too late. The next time we meet—and rest assured, we will meet again—you will be given another chance to pass my test. When that happens, I suggest you think more carefully before you speak. Trust me, it is in your best interest. One can even say your life depends on it.”

Sehn had more to say, but he didn’t get the chance to voice his questions. Without warning, the boy exploded into light itself, filling the room with such an intense glow that Sehn was forced to shield his eyes or be blinded by it.

“Wait!” Sehn cried out in utter desperation. “There is one thing you must know, ghost boy. I beg of you! For all that this world is worth, you must hear my words!”

It was far too bright for him to see if the boy remained. Yet he thought he heard the mysterious child whisper, “Yes?”

Sehn raised his middle finger. “You’re a bitch! And you are the one who failed
my
test, fool! Hahahahah! Look at you fading away into the light like a pathetic, cowardly bitch-ghost. Get out of my sight, weakling. Hey, Cah’lia, do you see this? Look at how even supernatural creatures fade away in fear from the Great Sehn’s divine presence!”

There was no reply from the bitch-ghost, just one final burst of blinding light, which disappeared as quickly as it came on and submerged the temple in darkness. For nearly a minute, Sehn blinked away the spots dancing before his eyes, which had become accustomed to the darkness. When his vision returned to normal, he looked around the temple; there was no sign of the boy, and somehow, his fiery blade had become extinguished.

“I’m really freaked out right now,” Cah’lia said. “That boy…he just disappeared.”

“Well of
course
he disappeared, Cah’lia. I looked at him! I suppose his body was unable to withstand the intensity of my gaze.”

“Yes, Sehn, because that’s clearly what just happened. I…I don’t even know what to think right now. Everything went by so fast.”

“For you, maybe,” Sehn mumbled. “That was far too boring for me. But at least…” Sehn’s mood brightened, and his eyes widened. “At least we know where to look for the children now! That weird boy told us where they are, or at least I think that’s what he was saying. I can’t be sure, because every other word annoyed me, so I ignored at least half of it.”

Cah’lia placed an arm on his shoulder. “We need to discuss this with Patrick and the others. We have no idea who that boy was, what he knew,
how
he knew it, or whether or not we can trust anything he just said. For all we know, this could be some elaborate magical trap set up by the Hawk to lure us in.”

Sehn shook his head. “Even if it is, I don’t care. Anything is better than nothing. If you want to seek out help, that’s fine. But I’m going where the boy told us to look.”

“No, you can’t! We need to think about this. What if it really is a trap?”

“What if it isn’t? Cah’lia, there is no longer any time.”

Cah’lia sighed. “You’re right. It’s careless, but we’re out of options. Okay, I’ll meet you there. I’ll try to alert the others first. But if you’re going to go, then do it now before it’s too late. We don’t know when they’ll be reopening the city.”

“I will, Cah’lia.”

Without saying another word, Sehn bolted out of the temple. On his way out, he couldn’t help but notice that the place had changed. The benches had been replaced by worn, old tables, the statue was gone, the entrance was no longer made out of glass, but out of simple wood, and a serving bar replaced the altar up front. The shape of the building had changed, too. What had once been an abandoned temple now resembled a rundown, abandoned pub.

This could mean one thing and only one thing: the Great Sehn was so powerful that he had literally scared a God out of his own home.

Hah
!
Even Gods run from my presence
!

In all his years, Sehn couldn’t recall a single time he had experienced such a rush of exhilaration. As he raced down the wide courtyard, which let out to the stone pathway that spanned the remaining distance to the city’s northern gates, he was somewhat surprised to discover that the weariness he’d been carrying around the past few days had faded away. His exhaustion, doubts, and fears had simply vanished. Sehn felt as if he’d just woken from a long, peaceful slumber: recharged, ready, and something else, something that only the unluckiest mortal should ever witness.

He was
angry
.

And not just his usual level of anger, either. This was far removed from the way he felt when Patrick refused to surrender one of his cities or Cah’lia formed an opinion without his approval. No, this was something far, far worse. Right now, at this moment, with the cool night breeze pushing him forward, Sehn wanted to bite the head off a dragon—and then spit it out and into the face of a different dragon, before biting the head off
that
one.

This was different from his typical selfish anger. Finally, after days that seemed to drag on forever, he knew where Nero and Rina were being held. And though he had no reason to trust anything that strange boy had told him, for some reason, he did not doubt the boy’s words. He was sure of it: Nero and Rina were just up ahead, and he would find them. Then, whoever was responsible for this would be made to suffer. Such was the will of the Great Sehn.

Up ahead, he spotted the gates and drew his sword. He knew right away that something was wrong, as a small force of armed guards normally stood watch at all times. Now, it was barren, and there were no signs of any Kingdom soldiers. Sehn peered at the top of the city wall, where normally archers would be stationed as well as a captain who would signal down below to open or close the gates; they, too, were missing, leaving the northern part of Hahl wholly undefended. In total, Sehn estimated that fifty or more Kingdom soldiers had completely vanished. But he decided not to dwell on it. The mystery of the missing guards was something for the likes of Patrick to solve. For now, Sehn needed to put his focus on finding the children.

At the end of the path, he looked to his left and spotted the barracks, which lay across from an arsenal where spare cannons, bows, and swords were stashed in the event they were needed. The mysterious boy claimed that the children would be inside. Sehn, wasting no time, sheathed his blade. He approached swiftly and began rapping on the door.

“Open up!” he shouted. “Nero! Rina! Are you two in there?”

There was no response, so Sehn placed his ear to the door and listened. He heard nothing. There should have been another few dozen soldiers inside, and at least one of them should have come to answer. “Is anyone in there?” Sehn banged his fist against the door. “Open up, fools!”

Sehn knew his words were wasted. Most likely, the same fate had met the guards who were supposed to be inside the barracks as those who had been outside. For whatever reason, the city of Hahl’s northern gates had fallen. But where were the guards? If they had been killed, where were their bodies? He looked around and saw no sign that any kind of fight had taken place. None of the usual signs were present: blood, stray arrows, and smoke.

Sehn shook his head. It didn’t matter where they were—not now, anyway. Not when the only thing separating him from Rina and Nero was the door in front of him. He took a step back, lifted his foot, and he was only a moment from kicking it down when he heard a chilling snicker from behind him: one that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“Finally, you have arrived. I have waited days for you to come. And finally, you are here. It took you so, so much longer. But you came. And that’s all that matters now.”

Sehn spun around. Immediately, a foul stench assaulted his nose. Standing before him was an old man in loose-fitting brown robes, one who could almost fit the appearance of a citizen from Magia if not for his inhumanly decayed skin and his horrid stench. In his hand, he held a staff; his eyes were void of life. He looked more like a puppet manipulated by unseen strings than he did an actual living creature: a dead, foul-smelling puppet made of flesh and bone.

“Who are you?” Sehn asked. He locked eyes with the old man, who resembled a walking corpse. The smell was atrocious, and he wanted to cover his nose, but he did not allow his hand to stray from the sword on his hip. A man who smelled this badly couldn't be anything but evil.

“I am Archmage Duncan. I am the Holy Magus of Magia, and soon-to-be ruler of this kingdom. I am the bearer of the”—suddenly, he bent over, covered his mouth, and began hacking in loud, forceful gasps. This continued for several moments before he straightened his back and removed his hand. Sehn spotted traces of a blackish-blue blood on his lips and palm. “Bearer of the Item,” he finished. He held out his staff. “A gift from my God, if you will. I hold the power of the Staff of the Sands.”

Sehn’s eyes widened. What was this man saying? Was he claiming that staff he held was some sort of Item?

But aren’t the Items living beings
?

“As you can probably tell,” he continued. “I am not like you, Sehn. I am not one of the Cursed. And so, only in death was I able to command its power.”

Sehn felt his ears twitch at the word “power”. Then he fixed his eyes on the staff. He recalled Shina telling him about Archmage Duncan, and he vaguely remembered hearing his name spoken quite a few times while he’d been trapped inside that cell in Magia. Sehn had no idea what this old creature was doing here, but as his eyes greedily drank in the sight of this “Item,” he realized he didn’t care. With a name like “Staff of the Sands” it was probably powerful as shit.

Sehn suppressed a grin. An idea came to mind—an opportunity like no other. “So, that thing you hold is an Item?”

“That it is. But sadly, as you can see, things have not fared well for me.” The Archmage raised his hand, and Sehn winced at the color of his flesh, which was turning a mossy green. “And that is why I need you. I have come to offer you a trade.”

Sehn nodded. “I’m listening. What is it that you want?”

“To return the children to you.”

At this, Sehn fought the urge to draw his sword and run the man through. “You have them?” he asked, his voice sharper than he intended.

“I do.”

“Tell me, then: what do you want from me?”

The eyebrows above the Archmage’s lifeless eyes rose. “Ah, I was not expecting such a reasonable response. It seems you and your bitch of a sister are completely unlike. This is good. You see, we are in a position to help one another. In return for your cooperation, I will free the two children, and they will go unharmed. I only took them in the first place so that I could bring them to you in the prison in Magia where you were being held, but sadly, you escaped. And that is why I am here now. Believe me: I have had the means to leave this city with the children at any time. Nothing here is powerful enough to keep me against my will. I have stayed this long only so that I might speak with you, Sehn of Elvar.”

“I see.”

Sehn allowed the hand over his sword to go limp. He tried to appear at ease, though on the inside, he bubbled with suspicion and uncertainty. Why had this monstrous-looking human come to him? For a brief instant, Sehn hesitated and thought on his next move, still taken by surprise. But he soon decided.

I know what I have to do—the only thing I can
.

This man claimed to have taken the children, and for that, he would pay dearly. But first, there was something that Sehn needed to take care of. Once again, he eyed the Archmage’s staff, which looked nothing at all like an Item despite the man’s claims.

“Why do you need me?” Sehn asked. “By that, I mean other than the fact that I am the Great Sehn and everyone needs me.”

Archmage Duncan smiled, his teeth rotten and cracked in places. “You are one of the Cursed. You have the power to handle the Items. I cannot say more than this until you have come with me. But rest assured, if you cooperate I will free the children.”

“That seems reasonable,” Sehn said. “But there is one problem.”

“Oh? And what would that be?”

Sehn pointed. “There’s a giant bird monster behind you.”

“What? A giant…bird monster?” The Archmage turned around. “What are you talking about? What giant bird mon—?”

Before the Archmage could react, Sehn dashed forward, extended his arm, and ripped the staff out of the Archmage’s fingers. Then, with a slight chuckle, he spun around and hurried a few steps back before glancing down at his shiny new prize. Sehn cheered and released a victorious laugh.

“You fool!” he shouted. “You fell for the oldest trick in the book!”

“Interesting,” Archmage Duncan said. His fingers were still curled as though wrapped around the staff.

Sehn gripped his new weapon. It looked like an ordinary staff, but he knew there must be more to it. He couldn’t believe how well this had gone. Thanks to his genius strategy, he now possessed two Items: his loyal minion, the Champion, and this brand new toy.

“How foolish of me,” Archmage Duncan whispered. “I’ll admit, I didn’t expect that.”

“Haha!” Sehn jeered. “Of course you didn’t expect that: you’re old and you reek like cow ass, whereas The Great Sehn is young and smells only of Godliness.” Sehn tightened his grip on the staff. “Your weapon is mine, peasant, and now you’re going to suffer for hitting my sister and for stealing Nero and Rina.”

And with that, the world was saved, the Archmage defeated, and Sehn, the almighty God-King, became the ruler of the world forever after.

The End.

Or was it?

Sehn’s stomach roiled at the sight of the Archmage, whose head lobbed to one side and whose body jerked and twisted as he erupted into a cackling laugh. What did he find so funny? Sehn had just stolen his precious Item, so what was with that smug grin on his decaying lips?

“What astounding ignorance,” he said, still cackling. “You are as clueless as one of my students.”

What’s he talking about
?

The staff grew warm in Sehn’s hands, then gradually became hotter. Within an instant, it was scalding to the touch. Sehn hissed in pain and threw it on the ground as it began to burn his fingers. Smoke rose from the wooden staff as though it were firewood. Confused, Sehn watched as it became lighter in color. Small chips of wood broke off the staff then turned to sand before his eyes. One piece after the next, this continued until nothing remained of the Item Sehn had so heroically captured but a clump of sand.

Sehn’s hair ruffled as a strong gust of wind came from behind him. The wind caused the pile of sand to blow towards the Archmage, and Sehn watched as, little by little, the sand expanded midair and took the shape of a staff; it hardened, became darker, and by the time the wind had died down, the Archmage was once again standing before Sehn with the staff in his possession, just as it was only a moment ago.

And this
,
Sehn thought,
is why I fucking hate magic
.