Questing Sucks (Book 1) (59 page)

Saerith tilted his head. “Rather who die?”

Saerina didn’t respond. Instead, her eyes went wide and shifted, changing color. Her fiery red eyes dulled to an unseeing milky white.

“There isn’t much life on the road to Hahl,” she said. “But I was able to find a pair of eyes. Yes…yes…”

She raised her hands above her head, and Patrick cried in surprise as the liquid in his goblet—along with Alan’s tea and Saerith’s water—all left their respective cups and hovered in the air. There were shouts from servants in the courtyard below them. The lids on the water barrels servants carried exploded, and the liquid shot upward, taking on the shape of a snake as it slithered into the air until it was even with the walkway.

“What the Gods!” Patrick exclaimed.

“Sister, what is the meaning of this?” Saerith demanded.

“Cool,” Alan said. “I wish I could do that.”

The liquids moved towards each other and combined into a ball the size of a man’s stomach. Patrick watched in fascination as it slowly changed. It turned a darker blue then hardened until it formed into a ball of ice. Lines cracked across it, dividing the ball into sections. With a snap, the ball of ice broke into twelve equal spear-like icicles. Saerina threw her arms up. There was a buzzing sound, and all twelve of the ice-spears flew into the sky, heading west towards the direction of the Kingdom’s Pillar of Therril. Soldiers on the ground shouted in surprise while they observed the magic above their heads.

I don’t get it,
Patrick thought.
What is she trying to do?

Alan looked into his now empty cup and then looked at Saerina. He nodded his head twice, and the biggest look of approval Patrick had ever seen on the man covered his face.

“That,” he said. “Whatever it was, was freaking awesome. Please teach me how to do that one day. I’m not sure what purpose it has, if any, but there’s nothing quite like turning all the water in a room into a ball of ice and then breaking it into pieces and sending those pieces flying. I’m sure I could find a use for it. I’d call it Alan’s ice ball of awesome.”

Saerith moaned. “It figures you’d approve of something like that, you fool.” He turned to his sister. “What did you just do?”

“What needed to be done,” she said. “For all of our sakes.”

 

 

The horse kicked up dirt as it raced towards Hahl. Sehn glanced again at the two objects Wolly had given him. Would they really work as he said they would?

They better,
Sehn thought.
Or I shall personally have him make me new ones and charge him a late fee. I don’t care if it was free in the first place. No one dares give Sehn a defective gift.

He veered his horse slightly, turning towards the nearest mountain. He needed to take a quick detour. Wolly had insisted the device would only work if he went through the closest mountain, so Sehn kicked the horse in the sides and hurried on.

As he traveled closer towards Hahl and the valley, the mud lessened and small stalks of grass once again covered the ground. Tiny winged insects and other life forms returned as well. Where previously, the only sound was the clicking of his horse’s hoofs against the mud, now he could hear birds chirp and flying insects buzz.

Through it all, the vision burned in his mind. Much like the one of Nero, the picture stayed fresh in his brain, just out of sight. It was enough to make Sehn forget about the aches and pains in his body. It kept him focused, determined, and pressing onward.

Sehn kept his eyes planted on the road in front of him. He held the reins tighter and leaned forward, demanding the animal to run faster. He grew increasingly eager with each passing moment. He needed to be fast. After all, what good would it do to show up late? Sehn decided if there weren’t at least eight thousand men for him to kill when he arrived, he would use his Godly demon-magic to intentionally poison the earth and end all life.

Sehn was taken from his thoughts when family of squirrels darted across the road in front of his horse. Sehn tugged violently on the horse’s reins, and the creature reared, lifting up its front legs and knocking Sehn backward off the saddle.

Sehn landed roughly on his back. The impact sent rolling pain into his spine and hip muscles. He jumped to his feet and glared at the four critters that impeded him. Venomous rage pumped through his body in the place of blood.

“Stupid squirrels! How dare you run in front of my horse? Foolish animals. If you must go and commit suicide, then do it somewhere else!”

Sehn wiped the dust off his back with a groan—it hurt him to lift his arms. What was happening to him these days? He nearly lost it when he saw the stupid look his horse gave him. Sehn wasn’t positive, but it almost seemed like the creature was laughing at him.

“What are you looking at, beast!” he shouted to the horse. “You think it’s funny that you knocked me off? Hah! I fell on purpose.”

Sehn walked in front his mount and bent down to retrieve a traveling pack that had fallen during the sudden stop. He was far enough from the valley that the ground was still primarily dirt. With a grunt, he cleaned off his pack and prepared to remount. He paused when he saw the odd look the creatures gave him.

There was something off putting about the middle squirrel. It was an adult male, from the looks of things. Sehn couldn’t place his finger on it until he met the creature’s eyes. They were white and resembled the eyes of a Human.

Sehn stared at the creature for a few awkward moments, and then said, “What are you looking at? Get out of my sight before we have a do over. This time I shall turn you into road kill.”

The creature remained in place and continued to look directly at Sehn. It unnerved him. First, the stupid little thing tried to kill itself via Sehn’s horse, and now it had the gall to stare at Sehn without paying the stare-fee? That was the biggest insult of them all. Everyone paid the stare-fee. Even Sehn gave himself gold when he looked in the mirror!

No matter how many times Sehn tried to shoo the animal, it refused to move. Sehn tried growling at it, making scary faces at it, he even tried offering it land. Finally, after several unsuccessful attempts, he kicked the ground and turned back to his horse.

“Fine, if you’re so eager to die then stay in my way.” He mumbled under his breath. “Stupid suicide squirrels.”

Sehn placed his hands on the horse’s back and prepared to hoist himself back into the saddle. Before he could lift a single leg, the horse again reared and made a high pitched squeal, quickly backing up a few paces.

Sehn wanted to rip the hair out of his head. “Now what is it! How dare you refuse to let me ride you, beast. Oh, you’re going to pay for this. Perhaps I shall cook you tonight. I’ve never had horse before, but I hear it’s—”

It was the approaching shadow that gave it away. Sehn saw it in the corner of his eyes, the outline of an object heading straight towards him. Ignoring the crippling pain in his body, he dropped to the ground and into a roll. Dirt flew into the air as a spear-like object pierced the ground where Sehn had been standing an instant before.

“What in the fuck of all fucks?”

Sehn ran a hand over the object and pulled it back at the sudden touch of cold.

It’s some kind of ice spear,
he thought.
But where did it come from?

Sehn peered into the distance, and then felt a nervous jolt in his stomach as he saw four more of the things speeding towards him. They spread equally apart and were moving too fast for Sehn to dodge all of them. Sehn reacted on instinct alone.

He drew his Elven blade and swung at the first to arrive, breaking it into two pieces that flew harmlessly over his head. The next three arrived at the same time. He jumped to his left, not caring about the filth covering his clothing as he came into another roll. There were three synchronous patters, one for each spear that penetrated the ground.

Sehn looked down at the ice-spears, and then back up into the sky. What was going on? With a start, he realized that there were more on the way. He could see them, barely at first, but more pronounced as they came closer and closer.

“It’s raining bullshit!” Sehn cried. “What the Gods is going on here?”

There was no way Sehn could defend against all of them at once. This time, seven of them made way to end his life. With his left hand extended, he shouted into the air. “Remmos Salas! Remmos Salas!”

Two balls of flame burst forward from his palm. One collided with the leading spear, the impact turning the ice into steam. The other fireball missed entirely, and Sehn didn’t have the time to mutter another spell. He took a breath and stood his ground.

With a vertical slash, he cleaved the next arriving spear only moments before it ran through his heart. Another spear approached, and again he slashed at it. This time, he was a moment too late. He managed to deflect the icy weapon, but not without receiving a shallow gash on his right shoulder.

The last four were upon him now, and Sehn knew he was going to die. They were spread out too wide to dodge, and based on their distance, Sehn probably wasn’t going to have enough time to wind his arms for an attack, let alone swing his sword four more times.

Out of fear and frustration, he roared his final defiance and swung his weapon without aiming, while with his free hand he shielded his eyes and hoped his death would be slow and agonizing. It was true! The Great Sehn deserved nothing less honorable than a slow and painful death.

Sehn was too focused on his pending death to properly control his weapon. It slipped from his fingers, and rather than attack one final time, the blade flew out of Sehn’s hand and twirled in midair, leaving Sehn defenseless.

“Figures,” Sehn said. “My luck.”

Somehow, the first Icicle met the spinning blade, carving it into two pieces. The blade changed direction slightly and then met the second and third icicle head on, rotating from hilt to blade at the exact moment the icy spears were in range and splitting them in half. Sehn watched with his mouth gaping and his hand partially covering his eyes.

The fourth spear was the only to escape the thrown blade, but its aim was off to begin with. What happened next occurred between heartbeats. The six broken—but still sharp—pieces of the spears landed to each side of Sehn, one after the other. Then, the unbroken icicle landed mere inches from Sehn, piercing the ground behind him. Finally, Sehn’s Elven blade, on its way back down and still spinning, happened to land in just such a way that moments before it cut off Sehn’s fingers, it made one final rotation. The hilt of the blade slid easily into Sehn’s hand, and he was once again holding his weapon.

Sehn’s mouth opened wider than the entrance of a cave. He looked around him at the spears laid out in an almost artistic pattern before him, and then back at the blade in his hands. He nodded once. He nodded twice. He nodded a third time, and then casually said, “I meant to do that. This happened exactly the way I planned it.”

Hah!
Sehn thought.
I knew exactly what I was doing. Stupid ice weapons thought they could kill the Great Sehn. Get real! I used my ultimate, secret, spinning blade attack that I…that I made up and broke them all with on purpose.