Questing Sucks (Book 1) (50 page)

Calen’s hands shook, his heart beating faster. There they were, only a few dozen feet in front of him. Several hundred Humans, their black armor removed, resting peacefully under blankets.

“There is no honor in this.”

Lira sighed. “There’s no honor in any war. There are only the dead children, and the widowed wives. Now, Calen, give the order, or I will. Everyone here believes in you.”

Calen swallowed, sweat forming on his face. “No they don’t. They think I’m a joke, especially after what happened with Sehn.”

“No we don’t,” one of the soldiers said. Calen turned, surprised. He didn’t recognize the soldier, but that wasn’t what shocked him. It was the way he spoke. There was confidence, and affection in his voice. “No matter what happened before this day, Sword Calen, you’re the one with our lives in your hands. Do your father, Helena, and your brothers proud.”

Calen nodded, steadying his nerves. “Listen up.” His voice was just loud enough to be heard by those overlooking the camp. “Prioritize the ones sleeping. Kill as many as you can before they form a counter attack. Our mission is to harass these men for as long as we can before they arrive at Hahl. After this, our hit and run attacks will be expected. We’ll never get another chance to…to…kill as many of them.”

The men saluted, silently, by placing bow over chest. “Aim for the closest men to the east. On three. One. Two.”

Calen pulled back, and ripped all emotion from his mind. His father taught him about this once, and Calen was glad it still worked. He closed his eyes.

“When the time comes to kill,” his father had said. “Imagine nothing but the arrow, and the hand on the string. Make sure that nothing in this world exists, nothing but the two.”

“Then,” his father had said. “Take a breath and hold it. It will steady you, ground you.”

Calen felt the calm—he felt the reassurance of his own skill. He inhaled, holding the air in his lungs.

“Then what, father?” he had said.

His father had looked at him, his eyes so full of pride. The Chief of the Naris clan, Sword-Dominion of Helena, grabbed his shoulders reassuringly. “Then, my son. You kill.”

Calen opened his eyes, and honed in on his prey. “Three.”

There was a snapping sound, filling the night with the twang of released arrows. Not loud enough to wake a single man, but loud enough to fill Calen’s heart with dread. He couldn’t see the arrows in the darkness, but he imagined them traveling, soaring through the air. There was no turning back now.

First there was a scream, and then two screams, then ten. Before long the sound of suffering was the only to be heard. Humans cried out in the night, with such shrill, high-pitched wails, that Calen felt his heart sink at the sound of it.

Shouting added itself to the screaming, confused demands to know what was happening. Calen saw it, even through the night. At least a hundred and fifty men killed, and another fifty dying slow, painful deaths. One man rolled over, waking from his sleep with an arrow jutted between his eyes, protruding through the back of his head. He grabbed the leg of his companion, begging for his life. The companion looked around in confusion. A whistling sound rang, followed by another, and then another, and before long the shouts increased, too. The battle was on.

Yet, despite this, they still failed to pinpoint Calen’s location. “Reload,” he whispered. This time, the sound of arrows being drawn from their quivers could not be heard over the growing commotion. “Fire.”

The snaps of released arrows reverberated around Calen, and another group of men perished. “There! Over there!” one cried. “On the hilltops! On the Gods-forsaken hilltops!”

“No sense whispering,” Daniel said. “We need to run, now.”

“No, we can’t. One more round, Daniel. One more round, and then we run.”

“Reload!” Calen cried in his mightiest voice. He was glad when no one second-guessed him. By all accounts, they should’ve ran upon discovery, but Calen believed in the speed of his archers. “Flee the moment you fire. Quickly now, quickly!”

With a grace learned through years of training, the Elves drew another arrow and fired another volley. Human archers were already rushing the cliff, placing arrows in bows. One collided with the face of an enemy archer. The man, only moments from firing, loosed his arrow into the air, falling dead on his back.

Swordsmen ran with blades unsheathed, running up the hill towards Calen’s men. These men received the brunt of the attack, clutching at stomachs, necks, and groins, as arrows pummeled them, the men falling in their tracks. One let out a quick yelp, before falling backward and rolling down the hill.

“Now run!”

Calen thanked Helena as his men turned and fled down the slope, for only a second later a thousand arrows covered the rocky hill where his men had been standing moments before, enough to end the lives of every last one of them.

A young Elven boy cried in victory. “We must’ve killed at least four-fifty, Sword Calen!”

“If they chase, we’ll kill another four.”

Calen almost stumbled as he skirted back down the hill, grateful when Lira grabbed his arm and steadied him. “I guess Human reflexes aren’t so bad after all,” she teased.

Calen ignored the remark and glanced behind him, all the while running for his life. “I can’t believe that worked. Alan Marshall was right. They never saw it coming.”

“Yeah,” Daniel said. “But now they do. Let’s not slack off.”

Calen led his forces into the darkness of the valley, readying himself for whatever came next.

Chapter 47: Once Was Too Much

 

Cah’lia only spoke two words, but her eyes said what her lips didn’t. The small fold in her chin, and the visible teeth she bared at Sehn, told volumes more than anything words alone could express. “Drop it.”

Anger coursed through Sehn’s veins, forcing the muscles in his chest to tighten, bulge, and almost pop out of his beige tunic. “How dare you command me, Cah’lia! Nero! Bring me the hammer of ultimate destruction!”

The boy paused. “Umm.” His mouth fell open. He ordered his horse to a halt, twisting around in the saddle and rummaging through his packs. “I don’t think we have one of those, Sehn.”

Have I been betrayed?
Sehn wondered.

“How do we not have a fucking hammer of ultimate destruction?”

Nero shrugged, checking a second time. He swished around in both of his packs, grunting with the exertion of twisting and bending. “I don’t think it exists.”

Shina pulled up, bringing her mount alongside Nero’s. “What are you stopped for, squirt? Look around you. Don't you see all the traffic you’re causing?”

Sehn had to admit that Shina made a good point. Dust was being kicked high into the air from the thousands of riders scampering down the Kingdom road. Normally, Sehn didn’t rush for anyone, but Cah’lia had assured him there was a free gold giveaway at the Kingdom’s Pillar of Therril. Nero sighed, tugging on his horse’s reigns and bringing the beast back to a slow trot.

Unlike the valley of Hahl, the trip to Therril would be drab, and plain. It was a long patch of mostly moist dirt, with the occasional shrub or two protruding from the otherwise empty land. Worms and smaller insects reigned supreme here, on what was known as the ‘sodden highway.’ The horse hooves tracked along mud as they walked, for only the unfortunate remained on foot when crossing over to Therril. It wasn’t deep mud, or anything too difficult to walk over—it was merely grimy, and had a sour, unpleasant scent.

Despite the darkness, Sehn had no problems seeing. Therril was only a two day ride from the Pillar of Hahl, and as such, the Kingdom ensured their road was well lit, keeping passage safe. Lit torches on stakes were placed in the dirt every few feet, glowing as far into the distance as the eye could see. Cah’lia had told Sehn in passing that no less than fifty Kingdom guards, tactfully positioned along the road, maintained them each night, ensuring that they were refueled and continued to burn.

Shina refused to meet Sehn’s eyes, shaking her head in disapproval. The nerve of her! She stared at the item in his hands, a mature gleam covering her otherwise girlish features. “Hand it over. It doesn’t belong to you, brother.”

Sehn looked to his other side, where Cah’lia continued to glare at him. With Shina to his left, and the incessant woman to his right, Sehn realized he was surrounded. Still, he didn’t care, and why would he? He was Sehn, after all.

“Hah! Everything belongs to me, fool. That includes your soul and your firstborn. Now, off with you. I’ve no time to waste speaking with stupid children.”

Sehn inwardly gasped when he saw Shina’s freakish reaction. A spark of electricity shot across the inside of her right eye, followed by another soon after, running down her face. “Give it back. Or I’ll take it.”

Sehn heard the sound of sobbing behind him, growing louder by the minute. Wolly, on a mount too small for his chubby Dwarven body, heaved and sobbed in a slow, rhythmic alternation. “W-Why did ya be taking it from Old Wolly, Sehn? Can’t he be
hav’in
his ring back? M-Me wife,” he sobbed. “She’ll be
kill’in
Old Wolly if he
no
be
hav’in
his ring when she sees him.”

Sehn brought his horse to a stop, ordering the animal to swing around and face the pudgy dwarf. “Oh? You want your ring back, do you dwarf? Well then, give me what I asked for and you can have it.”

Wolly’s voice was usually passive and whiny. But as he gripped his reigns tighter and sucked air into his chubby body, his tone became gruff, and filled with outrage. “Will ya be listening to Old Wolly, damn ye! I told ye a hundred times, me shotgun is in Miss Cah’lia’s bags. She took it away, right after you tried to steal it! Curses be to you, Elf. Give old Wolly back his wedding ring!”

Cries came from numerous riders on the road behind, all demanding that Sehn’s party get a move on. Sehn ignored them. If they continued to annoy him he’d be forced to halt for even longer, if for no other reason than to teach them a lesson. No one made demands of Sehn. No one.

“I don’t believe you, Dwarf. No, I certainly don’t. I want that shotgun, and I want it now. It’s too awesome to be controlled by you. Only the Great Sehn should have such a weapon.”

Wolly slapped himself on the forehead in a show of frustration, while at the same time a rock was thrown by an impatient rider behind him. The result was the horse lurching forward, and Wolly punching himself in the nose. A bit of blood trickled down his face. A moment later he released a high-pitched wail, something that Sehn recognized as a Dwarven battle cry.

“That be it!” he roared. “Old Wolly’s gonna kill ye, bastard!” He dropped from his mount, his stocky body landing roughly on the ground and splashing up mud. He charged at Sehn.

Cah’lia leaped off her horse at the same time as Shina, both of them running forward and grabbing a hold of the screaming dwarf. Sehn laughed as he watched Cah’lia humiliate Wolly, lifting him into the air and placing him into a bear-hug. Wolly’s kicking legs battered uselessly against her stomach.

“Shh,” she cooed. “Take it easy, Wolly. Take it easy. Let us handle this.”

“Hah! Look at you three getting mud all over your shoes. Dance for me! Dance for the Great Sehn, my puppets! Hahahah!”

There was an odd feeling in Sehn’s back, as if something was pressed against him. For a moment he wondered why he could see the star-filled sky, and why he was looking up at his horse. Only then, feeling the surge of electricity travel through his body, did he realize he’d been attacked. He writhed on the ground for a moment, dirt soiling his clothing.

H-How dare they!
Sehn thought.
I’ll kill them both.

He jumped to his feet, extending his palm at his sister. “Shina! Prepare yourself.” Sehn readied himself to roast her with his mightiest fireball. His shoulders convulsed, reeling from the effects of her electricity. His legs wobbled a bit, but otherwise, he regained his composure and prepared to dish out his Godly justice.

Cah’lia growled. “Shock him again, Shina. If he won’t correct his behavior, then we’ll just have to correct it for him.”

Shina cracked her knuckles. “Gladly.” She extended her pointer finger at Sehn.

Rina remained on the back of Cah’lia’s mount, twisting in the saddle to watch the exchange. After a moment she jumped off the side, splashing mud when she landed. Before Shina could mutter a single spell, Rina ran in front of Sehn and threw out her hands protectively.

“No!” Rina said. “Rina will not let anyone hurt Sehn.”

Shina chewed on her lip, tilting her head in what Sehn assumed to be curiosity. “Why’s that, Rina?”

Sehn didn’t care what Rina’s reasons were—they were obviously the right ones. Again he laughed, adding as much menace to his voice as he could. “Isn’t it obvious? She is sacrificing herself for her God. Good job, Rina! Take the attack for me.”

Rina turned around, dropping her arms. She placed her soft hands over Sehn’s, gripping them into her own. “Rina wants Sehn to open his hand.”

Sehn squinted. “Why?”

The little Human blushed. “Rina must kiss her king’s palm, yes? Rina does not want to fight on his behalf without doing so.”

Sehn nodded—the girl made sense. He held out his hand, turning it upside down, unclenching his fist. In an instant he realized what a mistake he’d made. He forgot he’d been holding Wolly’s ring. It fell from his hand, and into Rina’s. Before Sehn could cry in outrage, she was already running back to Cah’lia and Wolly.

The Dwarf was calming down. He was still held in the air by Cah’lia's powerful arms. It was odd to see a thin Elven woman display such overwhelming strength. Rina held out the ring. “Here you go, uncle Wolly. Rina is sorry that Sehn was being so stupid.”

The dwarf pacified immediately. “Please let me down, Miss Cah’lia. All I wanted was me ring back.”

Cah’lia released him, and with tears in his eyes Wolly took the ring from Rina, placing it back into his pocket.

Sehn tried to meet Rina’s eyes, but she refused, staring down at the ground. “So. You’ve betrayed me then, have you Rina?”

Cah’lia positioned herself in front of the girl, blocking Sehn’s view. “Leave Rina be.” She spoke to Sehn, but it was obvious her words were meant for the child. “I am very proud of her, because she did a very good thing.”

Sehn couldn’t see Rina, but he did hear her giggle behind Cah’lia. Grabbing her by the waist, Cah’lia lifted Rina into the air and placed her back on the mount, before pushing herself up on both hands and returning to the saddle.

Shina walked towards her mount, only a few feet from Sehn. Both kept their eyes on each other. If Sehn’s moronic sister tried to make a move, then he’d be ready for her. Sehn knew exactly what he’d do, too. If Shina was foolish enough to try and attack him, Sehn would do precisely six back flips, two forward flips, and seven handstands, all while throwing fireballs in her direction. Yeah, he was just that awesome.

Shina passed close enough to Sehn that even through the darkness he could see her pupils. Her mouth twisted into a lopsided grin. “Boo,” she said. Sehn panicked and jumped in fear. Wait, no he didn’t. Sehn never panicked. It’s true!

Shina laughed at him. “That’s what I thought.” She reseated herself on her mount and followed behind Cah’lia, leaving Sehn alone with the enraged riders. They shouted at him, demanding him to get out of the way.

“Move it, Elf!” one cried.

“Hurry or we’ll all be killed!”

Sehn flicked his wrist at them, sighing. “Fine, fine. I’m going. Hold your horses. Hah! The Great Sehn has just made a pun. I demand laughter! Hey, Cah’lia, guess what. I just made a—dammit, wait up!”

Sehn caught up soon after, rejoining his companions on the dirt pathway. No one but Nero seemed willing to speak with him. Not that he cared, anyway. Nero was the only one worthy of chatting with him. “Look at these fools,” Sehn said. “They’re so concerned about their precious gold that they think their lives depend on it.”

Nero yawned. “I know. That’s why we gotta hurry up and ride through the night, cause umm, Cah’lia says they’re giving away free toys, too, and if we get there too late we won’t get any.”

Sehn looked over his shoulder at the few hundred men he could spot. They were worried, and lacked any sign of excitement on their faces. In fact, upon closer inspection, Sehn could make out the distinct look of fear in them. It was in the way they carried themselves, the way they glanced at their children and patted them reassuringly.

“Hmm? She didn’t tell me anything about free toys. She said it was just free gold.”