Queen of the Clueless (Interim Goddess of Love) (15 page)

"
I'm not kidding. I talked to Tita Annie this morning and she thought that
I
was the friend Sol was bringing over today. She didn't know you were coming at all."

"
It's… her mom knows about us. I know she does."

I coughed.
"Yes she does, but Sol doesn't tell her that much about you. She doesn't tell
me
that much about you. You know what that means, right, when a girl does that?"

He didn
't say anything. I swallowed the impulse to vomit and pressed on.

"
It means she doesn't love you, not that way. Not yet. Not after everything you've done for her."

In my mind, I fell over. It didn
't look that way in the real world, but in my invisible tug of war Neil suddenly let go of the rope and I lost my footing, and for a scary moment didn't know which way was up.

It was the feeling of his hand that actually
worked like an anchor, and I squeezed on it, remembering where my hand was, and then my arm, and then my head, and then the rest of me. We were still standing. I was still there.

And then he said,
"Why would she do that to me, Hannah? Doesn't she realize what I've done for her?"

I pressed on his hand again, and the white room drained of white.

"Tell me, Neil." I said. "Tell me why you're hurt right now."

But really, he didn
't have to tell me. His heart just opened up to the Interim Goddess of Love, and I knew exactly what he was going to say.

Saw his thoughts of Sol from the past minute all the way back to when he first saw her, and what he intended to do today.

Felt the frustration that went as far back as his childhood.

Heard the pathetic whining that he thought no one ever noticed.

I thought I'd discover a reasonable explanation for everything, and that I'd actually be sympathetic when I found the cause. Instead I found a selfish little brat.

I
'm your goddess now, brat.

"
Neil," I said, confidently, into his ear. "You trust me, don't you?"

"
Yes," my new devotee said.

"
Then I ask you, please, leave my friend Sol alone, and do not come back until you've become someone deserving of her. Do you understand me?"

His eyes were glazed over, but he nodded.
"Yes."

"
You will sit here and wait until Joaquin Apolinario takes you back to Manila, and when you're back there you will return everything you've taken that can be returned. Will you do that, Neil?"

"
Yes."

"
Oh, and give me your phone. This is the only place where those pictures of me exist, right?"

"
Yes."

"
Thank you."

Rd8#

Even after all of that, Sol hadn't shown up at her mother's party yet. So I asked to be driven back to her house. And found her in her bedroom.

"
You're not in a fancy dancing dress," I said.

She wasn
't. In fact, she was in pajamas, sitting at her dresser.

"
I don't want to move in with him," Sol said.

That was Sol talking to her best friend Hannah.

It was the first I'd heard of this from her, but forgot that I wasn't supposed to know. "I understand."

She looked relieved that she was actually saying this aloud.
"It was so…
overbearing
of him. He insisted on coming here and asking my mom. I mean, how could I ask my mom something like that on the phone? Or even in person? Especially when I didn't want to do it?"

"
He can be very convincing."

"
I don't know. Really? He just seemed like he was just rushing through everything."

She closed her eyes and I rushed to her side, because that
's what best friends did, and I thought she would be crying. But she wasn't.

"
I think he stole a
car
today," Sol said. "That's crazy, isn't it?"

"
He needs help."

"
I told you that already."

"
We're going to make sure he gets help, for real this time. Thank you for telling me about it."

"
Good. Good."

I put my arms around her and didn
't feel anything
goddessy
switch on. Didn't see or hear anything. Sol remained immune to me and everyone, as stronger powers intended her to be. It meant I couldn't just make her feel better, make her suffer less, knowing I had just sent away the guy she loved.

Again, not a good time to tell my friend that I was goddess of anything.

"Are you wearing my flamenco dress?" Sol said.

"
That's what this is called? It's pretty." I hugged her again—still nothing. "I guess you're not going to the party?"

"
Where's Neil?"

I shrugged.
"Someone's picked him up. He has to… well, he has to own up to some things. Don't worry about it."

She looked like she actually believed me.

Robbie was busy that trip too.

He got the job of picking up Quin and Diego from the airport. Those two got on the last flight out of Manila as soon as I told them that I had Neil under control. There may have been more to that conversation but I didn
't want to argue, so I just dropped the call as soon as I said my thing.

I may have been feeling a little smug about it.

Then they proceeded to plan my weekend for me, meaning cut it short. Quin would be driving the stolen/borrowed SUV back with Neil and Robbie the next day. Sol would remain in Naga for the weekend.

And Diego and I would be seatmates on the first flight back the next morning.

One hour in a plane with Robbie beside me felt like two minutes. On this particular ride, it felt like Diego was reading that in-flight magazine (prior to takeoff) forever.

"
So," I said.

"
So," he said.

"
You're chaperone to me why?"

"
Quin thinks I'll kill the guy once he turns his back."

"
Too bad. I liked traveling with Robbie."

"
You did great, New Girl. Quin will never tell you that."

"
Thank you," I said. "I was hoping you'd notice."

"
Oh, I knew you'd figure out something like this eventually."

He said it so matter-of-factly.
"Explain that?"

"
I have an… effect on people," Diego said, pausing his review of page twenty-eight of his magazine. "I am called upon when people forget why they do what they do. I help them remember."

Being with Diego always did knock some sense into me. But not just that.

"That kiss," I said.

"
One method, among others," he said.

"
I saw a painting at the National Museum," I started to say, not sure why.

"
Maganda's Regret
? It's great."

"
What happened?"

He flipped to page
twenty-nine. "I made the mistake of letting someone realize she was meant for more. And someone wouldn't let her."

"
Do you… I mean…"

Diego shut the magazine.
"Hannah, I should tell you something. I think you're going to ask something incredibly naïve, like if I never stopped loving her, or if I ever recovered from that. The answer is no, and no, but none of that matters.

"
And your next question is, why doesn't it? Because it's not my place, and I don't make my own fate. I want to tell you something about Quin also, which he hasn't told you. There is a story about him, that has survived for very long. The gist of it is, the God of the Sun will love a Mortal, and she will become Immortal with him, and Bathala will let it happen.

"
He doesn't tell people this because he doesn't believe it, but what he believes doesn't matter. He is not a master of his own fate. Now the question is, New Girl, do you think this could be you? Do you think, of all the women who have walked and will walk the earth, you would be as extraordinary as the legend says this woman will be?"

He had to have known how this
would make me feel. But he said it anyway. "I don't feel extraordinary at all," I said.

Diego shrugged.
"Then you have your answer."

The captain announced that we we
re about to take off, and it was the longest hour of my life.

Because it was closer, I told the taxi to go to my mom
's house in Manila. She wasn't home when I got there, which was just as well, because I wasn't ready for her to yell at me in person just yet.

In the meantime I found my phone and saw a list of text messages from Robbie.

Just woke up. Lunch was spiciest Bicol Express ever.

Switching with Quin. Driving until the next bathroom break.

Quin does not talk in the car. It's very awkward.

I
would have smiled, if I weren't still reeling from the info Diego dumped on me earlier. But what did I expect, right? Quin wasn't interested in me. He never said he was, never let me think he was.

I only had my dreams.

If they were even mine.

Stupid stupid stupid girl.
The shame of thinking I had a chance rebounded, multiplied, and washed over me.

I didn
't want this. Not this. I wish I never heard of it, or Quin, and everything about him.

Exhausted, I crashe
d on the couch, and woke up because of the loud knocking.

I was still groggy from the nap, so I thought I was imagining it. Vida Castillo was at my door. On a Saturday. At my house in Manila.

"Why are you here?"

She smiled at me.
"I am goddess of those who despair. And you've finally called for me."

My wrist started to glow bright silver, in the shape of a chain
(not a bracelet apparently), and I remembered that she once put it there.

"
You said you're deserving of this power," Vida said. "Now I get to decide if you are to keep it. I've thought of just the challenge for you."