Queen (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (7 page)

“Thanks for the ride,” I say as I gather up my bag. I lean over and kiss Roman on the cheek and he jolts just as he did last night.
His skin is soft and baby-fine hairs poke me in the lips. I wonder if he can even grow a beard. I smile against his cheek and he laughs.

“Good luck on your test, Sweetheart. Show um how we do things on the other side of town.”
He flashes me a self-deprecating smile.

“I plan to do just that,” I say deviously
as I step out of the car.

I walk
, with my head held high, up the sidewalk to the front steps. I can feel the kids staring at me. I chuckle when I hear the awful noise of Roman’s car’s broken exhaust. He drives away with a loud
pop
. Roman doesn’t need the car to attract notice, as is apparent by the first thing out of Ade’s mouth when she walks up to me.

“Who was that?” Ade asks me and I can see the interest in her eyes. It immediately pisses me off. I understand why she would see him and want him. But he isn’t something
you acquire like her Ezra. He’s a human being. And for some reason I feel protective of him- territorialism, maybe jealousy. I don’t know.

“No one you need to worry about, Ade. He isn’t in your circle. Your father would have a stroke.” I try not to hiss at her, but it comes out s
notty like she usually sounds.

“Oh, so you’re talking to me now? I wasn’t sure. Why were you pissed at me last night?” She looks concerned with why anyone would ever find her less than exceptional.
And just like that she forgets all about Roman. One thing that I can count on is Adelaide’s selfishness. She forgets the boy because someone doesn’t think the earth revolves around her. I feel bad thinking of her in this manner, but it’s true.

“Forget it, Ade, it was nothing.” 
I’m the bigger person. She can’t help her circumstances any more than I can. I just hope she grows from hers as I plan to do from mine.
 

Chapter Six

I stayed after
school to find out what my grade was on my final exam. I nearly screamed when I received a perfect score. One class down with a perfect grade- three more to go and I’m out of this prison-like institution.

I
happily skip down the front limestone steps and collide with a firm body. I immediately apologize because everything I do at Hillbrook is my fault according to the student body. Strong hands grip my shoulders and move me a step back. I gasp in shock as I look at Grant.

“What are you doing here?” I accuse in a pissed off voice.

My earlier enthusiasm evaporates as I stare into clear, blue eyes. No sign of inebriation lingers in Ade’s brother. I expect to see remorse at our almost-kiss. He gives me guileless-eyes filled with hunger. A hunger I try to squelch inside my lower body.

“I don’t need to explain myself to you, Regina. I went here, but in case you forgot so does Adelaide. I had to speak with one of her teachers.” His voice holds arrogance, but he doesn’t look angry by my accusation. He looks like he wants to talk to me and that frightens me more than anything.

I try to walk down the sidewalk, but he stops me with loose fingers around my wrist. I could break his hold, but I’m not sure if I want to. He smiles at me when I stop and that damned dimple reappears. He reminds me of a puppy that follows you home. Do you keep him? He’s a gorgeous purebred, not a mixed-breed mutt. If he were a mutt you wouldn’t need to worry about a pissed off owner knocking on your door demanding you return their pet. But Grant is a purebred with an owner. Who would knock, Cora or Daniel Sr.?

“What do you want, Mr. Whittenhower?” I used his last name trying to snap him out of whatever
the hell he’s up to. I know he wasn’t at Hillbrook for Ade. He shouldn’t be lurking outside of a school trolling for girls. I’m legal, but just barely.

“I need to speak with you, Re
gina. Call me Grant. I think we’re acquainted enough, don’t you?” His voice is soothing and trusting- good politicians have that type of voice. And you know what they say about politicians…

He smirks when I blush remembering our almost-kiss. He watches my lips remembering the same memory.
I squirm with need and it pisses me off.

“I believe Mrs. Whittenhower wouldn’t be too happy with me calling you by your first name.” I bring his wife into the conversation to halt my weird fascination with him and apparently his
with me.

“What does my mother have to do with it?” He looks confused for a split second. “Oh, you mean Cora.” He waves his hand clearing the air
, obviously annoyed that I brought his wife into the conversation. “I don’t think of her that way,” he says insolently.

“That’s really gross,
Grant. You took vows and that’s how you talk of her.” I start to walk away again and he paces me.

“She’s just like my sisters and my father. Who wants to sleep with their family?” He gives me repulsed expression a
nd I barely hold back a laugh.

“She’s your problem, not mine. You’re not my problem either, Grant.” I stare him down and keep walking.
He’s an inch shorter than me and it makes me feel stronger than him. My stride is larger than his, but he keeps up.

“I have a proposition for you, Regina. Well, you can’t really deny me. So you may as well hear me out.” The arrogance is astounding. I shake
my head at him incredulously.

“WOW, just wow! You arrogant fuck. I will deny you for the sake of denying you. It must be fabulous to always get what you want when you want it.”
I quicken my pace. I can see the entrance to the subway a few blocks up- my destination.

“Don’t do this, Regina. You need to hear me out. The consequence
s are bad. You don’t know my father.” He pleads with me.

“I learned enough about the bastard you call a father last night. I never want to see him again. Frankly, I want nothing t
o do with your whole family. I’m contemplating never seeing Ade again after graduation even. You’re all fucked in the head. That child should be taken from you.” 

“He won’
t take no for an answer, Regina,” he pleads. “I don’t want to do it this way. I told him to forget it, but he saw my interest and he sees you as disposable.”

“You sonofabitch!”
I pummel him in the chest. I grab the railing at the top of the stairway leading down to the subway and jog down the steps away from him. If he wants to speak with me he has to earn it- catch me if you can.

“Regina, stop!
Please!” He screams out in desperation. Panic etches across his features. I do stop, but not because he said so, because the subway hasn’t arrive yet- or so I tell myself.
“What the fuck, Grant?” I shout hopelessly at him.

I don’t know what he wants and his lost expression makes me want to give it to him.
I hear the train coming and back up into position.

“My father is disappointed in his sons.
” His voice breaks. “We’re both like our mother. My sisters act just like him and he loves it. His only problem is that they will never have a Whittenhower unless it’s a bastard and he won’t allow a bastard.” The screech of the train stopping drowns out whatever he is professing. I can see his lips move, but I don’t know what he is saying.

I back up as the door slides open. The last thing I hear is, “Surrogate.” I run i
nto the train and move until I’m several cars away from him. I don’t want to contemplate what he has planned for me. Won’t allow a bastard? That whole family is full of them.
 

Chapter
Seven

“Thanks for coming home with me today, Fate. I know my mom really wants to see you. It won’t be long now.” My voice breaks and I try to cover it with a cough.

The past week has gone by in a blur. I managed to land both jobs. I’ve already started both of them. I work alternating days on school nights and half days at both on the weekends. Between work and studying for finals I haven’t seen much of my mother and the guilt is killing me. Now is when I should be spending every second I’m awake at her side. But I need to pay for her medicine. I managed to pay for a week’s worth of rent to get the manager off our backs. I worry that she will run out of medicine before my next paycheck.

Someone else I haven’t seen much of is Ade. She looks at me in guilt and I know that she knows her brother is hounding me. Every night at work he comes in and pesters me to listen to him. So far all I’ve allowed him to say is the word surrogate. I know enough of what that means combined with the conversation I overheard between Grant and Mr. Whittenhower.
Last night I had him thrown out of the coffee shop. I’m curious to see if he tries to visit
Digital Nation
tonight. We’re closed on Friday nights so the owners can have their date night. I wish I could see his face.

“
Sweetheart,” Roman whistles out as we approach the front of my building. Fate pulls on her ponytail straightening it making sure she’s picture perfect. I smile at her.

The energy that infuses me when I see him is starting to get on my nerves. I don’t know how to turn it off now that the switch has been thrown. It happens aroun
d Grant too, but no one else. I’m thankful that my body isn’t going batshit crazy around every male. It seems only interested in Grant and Roman. I experience a full-body flush that leaves me feverish as I check out Roman.

Today he’
s wearing a tight black t-shirt stretched across his chest, shoulders, and arms and worn-in jeans casing his thighs. On anyone else it would look on purpose; on him it’s like a second-skin. I blink the image away from my thoughts.

“Hi-ya, Roman.
This is my friend, Fate.” I introduce them as he grins at me.

Fate is practically drooling as she looks at the guy. She’ll behave like the young lady she was bred to be. I smirk wondering what she’d think of Roman if she learned he is a drug dealer.

“How’d your last final go today?” He leans down and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I gasp and Fate’s eyes bug out of her head. My cheek tingles where his lips made contact with my skin. The pleasant sensation lingers. I still my hand before I touch my cheek with my fingertips. Roman grins at me- his aqua eyes shining.

“Perfect. It was the last one. One week from tonight I am an official graduate of Hillbrook Prep.” I say proudly.
I bounce on my feet as I talk.

“Next week is going to be awesome,” Fate says to join the conversation. “No classes at all. We hav
e to practice for graduation.”

“No work sounds like fun until you get bored, Girly.” Fate lights up when he gives her a pet name. Too bad it’s the one he calls every female when he can’t remember their names. I’m sweetheart. Half the time I want to ask him if he knows my name, but I know he does.

“How’s your mom?” He asks solemnly. My enthusiasm deflates.

“Not good. Everyone in the neighborhood has stopped by this
week. Truthfully, I think she’s waiting for me to graduate. She wants to know that I reached that goal at least.” I discreetly swipe a tear away and he pulls me to his chest. I suck in a huge breath of his clean, manly scent and let out a sob.

“It’s fucking horrible.
It’s pure torture,” I sob into his shoulder. His hands rub my back for a minute and I pull away and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.

“We better get up there. I don’t
want to miss a minute with her, ya know. My time is too valuable to waste right now. Not that you’re a waste-” He cuts me off and I grip his shirt when I realized how that sounded.

“Go- I know what you mean, Sweetheart. Spend all the time you have with her. I’ll visit her tomorrow while you’re at work. Go on now,” he says as he pushes me into the building.

I grab Fate’s hand and look over my shoulder. I give him a look of thanks and he smiles sadly at me. As I turn away I swear I see him drag a thumb underneath his left eye.

This is why I love Fate so much. Even though she has a propensity to turn on her entitled attitude
in a split second, she’s still one of the sweetest people I know. Ade wouldn’t visit because she is repulsed by my mother. Fate sits here happily chatting with us both. She even helped me make dinner and, shockingly, helped me clean up.

“Ella, you should feel so proud.
Regina is the top of our class with a perfect 4.0. One day she will be more successful than any of us can imagine.” Fate’s eyes are glazed with pride and I know she means what she says. Her silver spoon isn’t choking her right now. She understands what this means to me and my mom. This is reality. The life she lives is a fantasy that can dissolve with one bad investment.

My mom’s eyes fade out for a second and I know the pain is hitting her again. I jump up and grab her pill bottle. I pop the cap and stare into the amber tu
be in disbelief- empty.

“Mom, I gotta run to the pharmacy to fetch you another refill. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
I run from the room before she can answer. I don’t have a fucking clue how I’m going to pay for it and I won’t beg off of Roman again even though I know he’ll give it to me. I could ask Fate, but I won’t hurt our friendship over borrowing money.

I look around the apartment and realize that nothing in here matters. She won’t be with me long enough to ever see this stuff again. As soon as I start college in the fall I won’t be living here anyway. It’s just inanimate objects- they hold no emotions. It’s sad, but it doesn’t matter. I
have to do what I have to do.

I kneel before the only closet in
the apartment. I had hidden the cigar-box under a loose floorboard knowing that it was a high possibility to be robbed in this building. I pry the board up with my house-key and lift the box from its cubby. I pull out my father’s watch that he was awarded when he reached twenty years of proud service working for the Transit Authority. Three other items are in the box: My mother’s diamond engagement ring and their wedding bands. I could pawn the bands or the diamond.

I sit on my ass
, half-in and half-out of the closet, with tears streaming down my face contemplating which to pawn when Fate finds me.

“The watch is his- the ring is hers, but he gave it to her.
” I show her the jewelry as I speak. “It’s a no-brainer. I’ll keep the bands. They bought them for each other, so it’s theirs and given by them too.”

Fate looks at me in
astonishment not knowing why I’m contemplating my only assets. I hop up from my crouch and grab her hand. I shove the flimsy door closed with my heel.

I leave the apartment with Fate following me in
confusion. She’s about to learn what it means to live in reality.

We don’t have to walk far. Every few blocks
or so is a pawnshop in this part of the city. The worse the living situations are, the more pawnshops you’ll find.

We are ogled and catcalled the entire walk to the shop. Fate’s hand finds mine and clutches me in fright. I realize how jaded I am. This is my daily life
- this is a once in a lifetime moment for her.
The bell over the door rings with finality as we enter
PAWN
. Yeah, just pawn. No need to be creative around here. Shop signs announce what you are looking for, pawn, food, laundry, cigarettes, and beer, wine, and liquor. We’re a literal community.

I rush through the transaction not wanting to think
of the ramifications of what I’m doing. This is the end. I sell the most important items we own and save mere trinkets. It’s sentimental value, not monetary value that I place on the bands. If it comes down to it, they’re next. I try not to get too attached.

Fate’s teeth chatter so loud
ly that I can barely negotiate. She’s scared shitless. What does she think he’s going to do, knife her? We’re just normal people. Violence isn’t just a poor kind of thing. There are just more poor to bring up the statistics.

“I could have given you the money. Why didn’t you ask?”
Fate asks me as we walk from the pharmacy.

She has calmed some now that her ordeal is over. I would love to explain why I had to do this, but she would never understand.

One thing that makes me the angriest is knowing that my father was gipped on his watch. Those pieces of shit gave him a piece of shit for his service.

“I don’t want to be indebted to anyone el
se, least of all a friend. You’re my friend and I appreciate the offer, but I cannot accept.” I can’t even believe that I refuse her offer. She wastes more money in a week on makeup and hair products than I got for a diamond ring and a watch. Taking from Roman was bad enough, but he’s one of us. He understands real pride. Borrowing money from Fate, that isn’t even hers, just feels wrong somehow. I’m not going to do it.

Chapter Eight

“Fate, didn’t your driver show up?” I ask as I answer the knock on the door. She only left five minutes ago.

I swing the door open and Grant is standing on the other side. He looks uncomfortable. His eyes look around me into my apartment and widen in surprise.

“Yeah, welcome to how the other half lives. What are you doing here, Grant?” My voice shows how
annoyed I am by his presence.

I move to the side and allow him ent
rance. No sense denying him, he’d just barge in anyway. I hold a small amount of control if I invite him in versus him just doing as he pleases. He looks around my squalor as I shut and bolt the three locks on the flimsy, paper-thin door.

“You weren’t at work, so I came to visit. I
need you to hear me out, Regina,” he softly demands.

He looks desperate and maybe a bit crazed.
His blond hair is standing on end as if he has repeatedly run his fingers through it in frustration. His watery-blue eyes are as dark as storm clouds. His face is taut and even his tie is askew.

“Why should I, Grant?” I walk away from him, not far obviously since the room is tiny.

I start wiping up the counters. There isn’t much to clean. The past few months I’ve pawned just about everything. If we had something nice I pawned it and bought a replacement at thrift shops. It’s pitiful, but I think I was letting go of everything that held a memory of my mother. I’ve been grieving the loss of my parents for two years straight.

“Take a look around at my reality, Grant. I sleep on a couch in a cockroach infested hovel. Go peek into the bedroom and introduce yourself to my decaying mother.
And then ask yourself why you’re bothering me. Why you’re infatuated with someone like me. You have a huge mansion and a rich family. Go home to your wife and thank God that you had the fortune to be born to your parents and not mine. That is the only difference between us, Grant- luck. Anyone of us could be in a different position depending on who we’re born to. Only difference is I will rise above this and you have nowhere to rise. I think you should be more appreciative of your station in life.” I glare him down begging him to disagree with me.

I rush over to the bedroom door and crack it open in invitation.
I thought for sure he would leave like his sister would have, but he slowly walks to the door and enters.

“Mrs. Regal, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” I hear no pity in his voice and his eyes don’t flinch as he looks at her. I feel pride for him
, and as much as I don’t want to like him, I do in this moment.

“Call me Ella. Who are you, Sir?” She clears her throat several times and I hurry over to her to give her a sip of water. I dab her chin where she dribbled some that
didn’t make it past her lips.

“I’m Grant. I believe you’ve met my sister
, Adelaide.” Grant sits at the edge of the bed and takes her hand. I walk backwards to the door not wanting to intrude on their conversation.

“How is your sister? I have
n’t seen the girl in months. I was worried that they weren’t getting along anymore.” Grants eyes tighten around the edges when he hears that his sister won’t visit. I leave them not wanting to hear what they talk about.