Queen (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (52 page)

My finger circles the swelling nub between her thighs and I hear a whimper behind me. Cort looks sick with lust. His face is pale, his neck’s red, and his hips are gyrating against air with no relief in sight.

“Cortez,” I command and his gray eyes snare mine. “You can relieve yourself. We won’t mind. Fate’s had a front row seat to this show before. I wouldn’t mind seeing you in the flesh for once,” my voice is rough and husky from barely contained lust. 

His hand rips
open his trousers and he pops out with a groan.

“I thought I was going to die it ached so badly. My pants were crushing me.” He lays there in obvious relief but I can’t take my eyes from
his crotch.

“V
ery nice,” I murmur modestly. 

“Exquisite,” he chastises me. “I prefer to call it exquisite,” he moans.

I wait for a smirk, but one doesn’t follow. I’ll agree with him- exquisite. When we made out my hand was shoved down his pants as I stroked him off, but his pants kept me from seeing him or truly feeling him. During training when he couldn’t take the pressure anymore he would touch himself, but either through his clothing or with a hand down his pants. I’ve never seen him in the flesh. He’s long, thick, and perfectly exquisite. I wonder how that big thing fit into tiny Fate, but he was only fifteen at the time. I’m sure it’s grown since then.

“Regina, don’t look at me like that,” he moans out and begins to touch
himself in earnest. “That road leads to trouble.”

“Like what?” I ask
innocently and widen my eyes.

“Like you want me in you, any way you can get me. You and I both have a proclivity for a cock in our mouths. Please look away before I let you.” He sounds desperate so I give him the privacy for which he begs. Cort begging is a new occurrence.

Since I can’t have a cock in my mouth I try something new, something Fate will undoubtedly love. I drop to my heels. I push two fingers into her slit as far as the bindings will allow and scissor them open. I see her nub peeking out at me in attention. I draw the protective skin away from her clit and give it a tentative lick. She thrashes in her bindings. She groans and pants and I worry that she’ll asphyxiate. She calms enough to regain her breath.

My tongue explores her firmly. I can’t reach much because of the rope, but I gain enough room to give her the pleasure she deserves.

I worried that I wouldn’t like the taste of a female. It’s strong and musky with a slightly sweet and salty aftertaste. I decide it’s an acquired taste and I’ve acquired the taste for it.

Her nub engorges beneath my tongue. The heady feeling makes me lightheaded. I’m doing this to her- me. I’m the one giving her pleasure. She’s so swollen that I’m able to suck her into my mouth. I decide I’m rather fond of that, it’s like giving a mini-blowjob.

Power course through my veins as Cort’s moaning with every breath and Fate’s whimpering with my every lick. I find myself speaking words that are truer than any I’ve ever spoken.
“If I had a dick, I’d fuck you and cum inside of you, Fate. I’d prove that I owned you,” I growl like a feral animal.

I mean it. When I’m Queen I feel like I should be a man. I’ve a hard time separating domination with testosterone. Maybe that’s what makes a woman more dominant- high levels of testosterone flowing through her veins. I envy a man who can so freely take their submissive. They don’t appreciate the act of dominance that they take for granted each time they fuck. This explains rape perfectly. No, it isn’t about sex; it’s about power and control- domination. Can I really control Fate- empower
Fate- if I don’t have a cock?

“Oh My God, Regina, shut up!” Cort screams at me. “I’ll buy you a strap-on,” he says breathlessly. 

He doesn’t sound angry. He sounds like he likes the idea- too much. It feels more natural to use it on a man than a woman. Maybe I’m a gay man trapped inside of a female’s body.
“Will you let me use it on you?” I ask not expecting a reply.

And I don’t get one that I expect either. He starts to cum. He cries out as the first wave shoots from his cock. It hits him in the fore
head and the next on the chin.

I suck Fate back into my mouth fiercely. For some reason I want her to cum while Cort’s still climaxing. I want to feel like I’ve made them both cum at the same time by my prow
ess. Regina Regal never fails.

Cort’s cries and Fate’s whimpers fill the air and echo around the room. It’s the symphony of a Master’s achievements. My body fills with pride and Queen and I mesh as one. We’re no longer either-or. We’re one and we always were. I just couldn’t a
ccept it until now. I’m ready.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” I say to Cortez as I begin the
arduous task of untying Fate.

“Don’t temp me, Regina. That’s the only part of my virginity I have left. Ezra would kill you if he found out. Right now, though, I’d love to bend over for you,” humor laces his voice, but it’s overp
owered by lust-filled hunger. 

“How did you manage not to do that?” I ask in shock. He and Ezra were playing doctor in their cribs.

“I know Ezra’s in charge. He knows he’s in charge. Sex for him and me isn’t about this,” he gestures around the room. “It’s about pleasure and connection.”

I feel a pang of jealousy and agony when he sounds just like Grant used to, when he says words that Grant had spoken to me on our first time. 

“I see how much he loves it. I’ve seen other taken by force fall to its charms. I won’t allow myself to fail prey to its pleasures. Whoever took me, would own me. I used to give myself freely to Ezra. It was a choice. I’ve seen Ezra cheat on me just to feel it again. I’ve seen my victim beg me for it. I can’t do it, even for you, not even for him,” he says miserably. 

“I’m sorry,” I mumble wishing I hadn’t brought it up.

I know he’s speaking of whatever happened when he was kidnapped. He and I have spoken a bit about that time. He never gives details, but he said he hasn’t touched Ezra sexually since that time, with the exception of when Marcus demanded him to make love to Ezra during his initiation. I’ve been warned that you never leave your initiation unfucked. And that it’s an honor for a Master to break you in. I was hoping mine would be Marcus, but the fact that he isn’t here means that it’s unlikely.

Chapter Twenty

Two months since my last visit to the Brownstone and I’ve had no word from my Master, lover, equal, ally, partner- whatever name you place on Marcus- I haven’t heard from him in eight long weeks.

After I successfully mastered Kinbaku, I went back on my regularly scheduled training day. I found Marc and Dalton sitting on the couch discussing the proper way to discipline a misbehaving submissive. Dalton looked at me and gave me a tight-lipped smile. He looked worried for me and I’d no idea why.

My Master wouldn’t turn to look at me. He kept his back to me and asked what I was doing there since my training was now complete.

I didn’t say a word. I’m not daft. You don’t need to hit me with a sign. I get it. I’m on my own again.  I walked out of the Brownstone leaving my key on the end of the banister without saying a word.

I went back to my life. I work twenty hours a day again because my sleep is filled with the ones I ache for. I cuddle and play with my daughter as if my heart doesn’t bleed. I help with homework and teach Ella how to cook and clean. Fate and I work side-by-side in my home office and spend our evenings spending time with my daughter. Sometimes Fate goes on dates or out to dinner with Kristal. Kristal avoids me, and I her, but I have no issue with Fate and Ade maintaining contact. Ade doesn’t know about Ezra’s mouth on Kristal’s cunt, but if I can keep one secret, I can keep a billion.

I started teaching Ella how to swim in our pool. The first time I almost cried remembering the time Marcus took me to his lake- Jamie’s favorite place. It was the closest thing to a date I’ve ever been on. I realize now it was just smoke and mirrors.

I’m stronger than ever. I conquered that
ache the pool caused by repeatedly torturing myself over and over every day while Ella learned the backstroke.

Jamie and I still text every night at one am. He asks of me, but it feels like an interrogation and at other times as if he’s asking of the weather. I don’t have the balls to ask what I did that was a disappointment. But I realize it started the day after the three of us were together. They had started to distance themselves from me slowly over the week before my last session with Cortez. I realize why Cort was behaving differently towards me: Marc gave him the go-ahead to touch me. I was no longer my Master’s.

I stopped crying last week. What makes it difficult is that I have no idea what I could have done and I don’t believe that I’ve done anything wrong. It’s the most frustrating feeling in the world and it makes me feel out of control. I can’t control what I don’t know. For a dominant, ignorance isn’t bliss.

If Jamie was told to stop talking with me he’s disobeying Marcus. But at the same time I feel it’s a way to still hold my leash without actually holding it. I’m debating on cutting Jamie off as they did me, but my curiosity refuses to not answer his texts. I wait for him to explain why I was thrown away- why I wasn’t good enough.

I wasn’t told my training was finished. Marcus spoke to me as if I should’ve just known. Since I’m not clairvoyant, it is yet another thing that frustrates me.

I haven’t been to Restraint since I was forbidden until my initiation. I know that Pretty Boy trained until the day he was called a Master. I realized I’ve failed. I waited a week for my initiation and when it didn’t come, I knew it never would. I failed Queen, but most of all, I failed Adelaide. I can barely look her in the eyes. It hurts knowing that I can’t help the woman I view as the only sister I’ve ever had. I have no control, no way of keeping her out of WinterCrest.

Whistle
- Jamie.

Jamie:
What are you doing?

-
Working, or course.
I lie.

I’m watching the guesthouse from the window in my office. Roman is chasing a giggling Kristal around the yard. He takes her to the ground and covers her body with his. Their giggles turn my stomach. I want them to be happy. I hope that they are and that it’s not just a fantasy they’re living in. What nauseates me is that I want to be happy, too. I’ve never felt it, not really. It’s a foreign concept to me.

Jamie:
Have you seen Roman?

His question hits like punch to the gut.

-Yeah, I see him right now doing depraved things to Kris on my back lawn. If you mean… Have I spoke to him. No!

Jamie:
When was the last time?

-Why are you interrogating me?

Jamie:
Regina!

-
That’s not very submissive of you, Jamie.

Jamie:
I’m not your submissive, am I? Answer the question.

-
I shouldn’t. I want to hurt you right now. But I’ll answer and don’t text me ever again. The couch!

I snap my cell shut. When it whistles again I smash it with the heel of my boot. I feel a sick sense of elation as I destroy a digital device. It’s like murdering my own work. I scoop the powdered remnants of ci
rcuitry into the waste basket.

I pull a new phone from the drawer of gadgets I’ve been testing. Who needs a phone company when you can do it yourself? I program a new
Sim-card with a blocked number that no one knows. I quickly text my new number to Fate and Ella. Everyone else can fuck off.

Did I mention I was stronger- yeah, I’m more ruthless, too.

I’m not an idiot either- that was Marcus texting me with Jamie’s phone. Jamie isn’t that demanding, nor would he pull that territorial bullshit. Only a dominant would behave in such a manner. It takes one to know one.

I smirk to myself.
Fuck you, Master.
He abandoned me. I feel giddy from telling him off. Sure he thinks I thought it was Jamie, but he should know better than to think I’d ever speak to Jamie in that fashion.

I want to get drunk as I watch Roman make love to Kristal within fifty feet of my window. She keeps looking at me as if she strategically placed herself in my view so that I’d have to endure the torture. I don’t want Roman any more. I’ve lost all respect for him as he continues to weakly eat from Kristal’s dirty hand.

Submissive doesn’t equate weakness. There’s a silent strength in submitting. What Roman’s doing is spineless. I don’t care if he loves her, what good is it to be treated like that- for either of them?

I can’t work with their moans and Kristal’s gaze pinning me through the window. I pace the hallway. I’d love a freezing swim, but they’re a few feet from the pool. I need to be farther away- not closer.

I could drink myself to sleep. It’s been days since I visited the sandman. I can’t drink either. One taste and I’d be drunk off my ass. I’m not sure when I ate last either. Fate, Ade, and Ella went on a trip for the weekend. I guess I ate with them last.