Queen (57 page)

mother first, and they had pretended they were not there, had turned their

backs as he strode into the house and walked up the stairs.

    Now he was theirs, and they had assembled in a line in perfect pecking

    order. Mitchell, the overseer, was first. Murdoch, the trainer, was

    second-not because his was the second-best job, but because he was the

    second-ranking white. Parson Dick came next, followed by Julie, Angel,

    who was still crying, and then all the various house slaves. Cap'n Jack,

    because of his privileged and undefined position, and because he had

    already done his business, was not in the line but was outside, getting

    ready to greet the swarms of arrivals-the doctor first, and relatives and

    undertakers and associates and friends come to pay their respects-who

    would descend on the house.

    They heard the door shut, and all eyes turned to Jass as he came down the

    stairs, and all approved what they saw. The natural transfer of power

    that attends to any son when his father dies had already happened. Jass

    was years older than he had been a few minutes ago.

    He came to the head of the line. Mitchell, hat in his hands, spoke first,

    for all of them.

    "We are all very sad by your great loss," he said, and then spoke for

    himself. "Hit was my pleasure to serve your father, sir, and hit'Id be

    my pleasure to serve you."

    "Thank you, Mitchell," Jass said. He shook the overseer's hand, and moved

    to Murdoch.

    "I am truly sorry, sir, he was a fine man." Murdoch was not lying. He

    held James in great regard. The events of the morning were all part of

    the job. "I look forward to serving you, sir."

    Jass shook his hand, and moved to Parson Dick. Slaves did not ask to be

    allowed to continue in their jobs, but the Massa had to be shown the

    proper respect.

342 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

    "My sincere condolences, sir." Parson Dick bowed his head slightly, to

    hide a flash of angry resentment. Like Cap'n Jack, he had known Jass all

    his life, from puling infant to toddling boy to spotty youth and now

    this colt had complete ascendancy over him, owned him, lock, stock, and

    barrel, and could do whatever he wished with him. Because he was white.

    Jass shook his hand too, which surprised the usually imperturbable

    Parson Dick, but Massas are Massas, and all are different, and all have

    their own idiosyncrasies, and Parson Dick knew it was kindly meant.

    Jass moved down the line, doing what had to be done, what was expected

    of him, and inside he was screaming, let me get out of here! Last in the

    line, a kitchen skivvy, a scrawny girlhe didn't even know her name,

    Trixie perhaps-was overawed by the solemnity and ceremony, and as Jass

    moved to her, she screamed, threw her apron over her head, and ran away

    to hide in the pantry.

    It broke the strained formality of the occasion, and made Jass want to

    giggle. Polly and Pattie ran after Trixie, Julie mumbled apologies, and

    Angel, listening on the stairs, had another bout of tears. Jass,

    suffocating, took the opportunity to escape. He turned away and walked

    quickly out of the house.

    He strode across the lawn with no sense of direction; he had to be away

    from here, away from them all, away, somewhere, anywhere, where he could

    be alone. And not alone, because what he wanted, what he needed, was the

    opportunity to be completely himself, without considerations of what he

    had to do for other people, only the unconfining freedom to do what he

    knew he must do, for himself.

    He knew where he was going, and he started to run. Field slaves, who had

    come close to the big house to be near the center of an important event

    in their lives, didn't try to speak to him, to stop him, for somehow

    they understood the urgency of his need, if not the need itself. A few

    doffed their hats, but otherwise they left him alone.

    He ran with lung-bursting energy to the place where he had to be.

    He burst in the door, slammed it behind him, and stood, panting not only

    from exhaustion, staring at her. Easter had

    MERGING 343

been sitting at the loom, not to weave, but because she was comfortable

sitting there, trying to work out what a future might be, if Jass might

be different now that he was someone else, now that he had this new

dominion over her. As soon as he came in, she knew why he was there, what

he wanted, but it was uncharted sea for her, and she wasn't sure what she

should say, or if she should say anything.

    His eyes told her not to speak. He looks so lonely, Easter thought, so

    old and young all at once, and she knew, without question or hesitation,

    where she had to be.

    She moved to him and took him into her arms, and he folded into her

    engulfing embrace, like a child coming home. His mouth found hers, and

    her lips weren't enough. As if there was no other place it could be, his

    tongue touched hers and filled her yielding mouth and could find no

    barrier of resistance. She pushed her groin against his, and could feel

    that hardness she had felt once before, long ago, and had wanted with all

    her heart to feel again. Other new and wonderful emotions, sensations,

    longings, surged through Jass as his mouth moved down to her neck, his

    hands opened her bodice and her breasts were free to him, his at last

    that he had only dreamed of, and the reality was sweeter than he could

    have possibly imagined, He wanted the moment to peak now and to last

    forever.

    He looked down at her breasts and then up into her eyes, and seemed to

    drown in them, but he knew the sea was deeper yet, and he had no desire

    to escape his fate. He put his hand to her face, and the contrast in

    colors shocked him, spurred him, inflamed him. It was what Wesley had

    promised, the white and the black, all sensual texture and lustrous

    desire.

    He laid her down on the little cot, and lay astride her, kissing her

    still. His hands caressed her thighs and found their way under her skirt

    and petticoat by their own volition, it seemed, reaching upward, until

    suddenly he found the hot, wet warmth of his goal. She had unbuttoned his

    pants, and now he was free and it felt wonderful, flesh upon flesh, the

    colors of it dazzling him, flawless white on exquisite black and he

    wanted to lose himself forever in her sheening body.

    Easter bit her lip in pain as he pushed inside her, ~pain upon pain, and

    ever more pain, until she might have screamed for

344 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

him to stop, and then suddenly she exploded and there wasn't any more pain

and she felt him hard inside her and she cried out at the wonder of it,

rocking with him, meeting the thrust of his hips, until he cried out, and

she could feel him pulsing into her and she knew he had given her the

sweetest gift it was in his power to give.

    When it was done, he stayed inside her for a long time, moving only a

    little, to make them both more comfortable, side by side, still keeping

    her in his embrace. Easter was not sure what to do; she didn't want to

    move, but didn't know if he did, didn't know if it was her place, now

    that it was done, to give him some indication that he was not under any

    obligation to stay. She stiffed a little, as if to move away, but he

    increased the pressure of his embrace slightly, and she knew that she had

    no need to go, and that he had need of her to stay.

    Moonlight bathed them, filtering in through the little window. They did

    not speak, for there was nothing that had to be said. Their faces were

    so close together she could feel his steady breathing, and she wondered

    if he was asleep. Then she felt a tiny trickle of moisture on her cheek,

    and she knew it was from him. She held him still, letting him cry,

    letting him mourn his dead father and could not know that he wept as much

    from joy at what he had found as grief for what he had lost.

    When she knew he was not crying, she felt an urgent desire to express an

    emotion, but it was one she had never experienced before, a tender,

    dulcet emotion that began somewhere in the pit of her heart and drifted

    out of her as a moaning hum that became a lullaby. It never formed into

    a song, or any that she knew; there were no words to it, or none that

    seemed necessary, it was only a sound, the gentle primal sound of a

    mother lulling the fear of the dark from her child.

    His breathing, already even, steadied some more, and he drifted to sleep.

    Easter stayed awake for a while, lulling him still with the soft song.

    The tears were still damp on his cheek, and she leaned to him, and kissed

    them away with her mouth. She settled back, her head resting on his

    shoulder, and stared at the vague outline of his face that the moonlight

    gave her, and then dozed for a while. He moved in his sleep, rolled

    MERGING 345

toward her, and she, only half conscious, moved with him, until her back

was pressed against him and she was gathered into his slumbering embrace.

    Toward dawn he stirred, and caressed her gently, and she woke to the

    hardness of him against her. She turned to him, and he stroked her and

    kissed her, sweetly, gently, softly, for a while; then he moved astride

    her and, without any urgency, went inside her again, to the place that

    both of them wanted him to be.

    42

    =======> 4~

They became lovers in the purest sense, in that all they had was their

love. Their past was both a foundation and an irrelevance, and they had

no possibility of a future. All they had was now.

. They lived according to the manners and mores of their place and time-he

was Massa of a great estate and she his slave. Separately, they went about

their separate business. Except by chance, Jass never saw her in his other

life, but lived in the bosom of his white family, adjusting to his new

status, counseled by friends, besought by his father's associates.

    Easter spent her life without him as though nothing had changed between

    them, although the greatest change was in her. Secure in the knowledge

    of his love, she lost all sense of jealousy or ambition. She had

    everything she wanted; now was everything she wanted to be, except for

    the one thing he could give that might make her life complete. Brought

    up to a clear knowledge of the reality of her situation, she harbored no

    ambitions to be mistress of the big house, for it scared her, had no

    yearning for elaborate gowns or grand functions, or visits to other

    places, for since her journey to Nashville, these frightened her too.

    Alone among the slaves at The Forks of Cypress, and any others of her

    acquaintance, she had no wish to be free-that was the most terrifying

    prospect of all, because the

346 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

gain of it might mean the loss of something infinitely more precious to

her. Already she knew she could not have some of him, that other him, but

that was no more than she had always known. She knew he must be married

one day, to a white woman, but so strong was her love that this caused her

no concern. She had no desire to keep house for him, or care for him,

except in those few hours when he was hers, and then she was content with

as much as he was able to give. The only little gift she wanted from him

now was the simplest, cheapest, most dear thing it was in his power to

bestow: a child, not to bind him to her but to have a part of him, the

best of him, so that wherever he might go, even if he should, which she

did not for one moment consider, leave her.

    They moved in parallel but separate directions, without the desire or

    ability to acknowledge each other, to each ' other or to the world. But

    late in the afternoon, he would come to her, and they would sit for a

    time, often not talking, he in his old rocking chair, puffing on his

    pipe, she at her loom, her senses reveling in the nearness of him, the

    security of him, content with what she had, and when he did talk,

    listening to his opinions or his problems or, to make her laugh, his

    gossip, and she would offer advice if she felt able, and smile at his

    jokes, and nurse his body or his heart if either needed attention. The

    most precious time of all was the night, when their other worlds were

    sleeping, and he came to the weaving house. It might have been the

    smallest hovel of his kingdom, but it was the one place where he could

    be free of newfound responsibility, the one place where the burden of

    decision that sometimes he felt inadequate to bear was taken from him,

    and he could simply be Jass again. So to him it was a castle, and she his

    triumphant queen.

    They told no one, but everyone knew. Cap'n Jack had not slept at the

    weaving house the night old Massa died, for he knew Jass was there, but

    had found a disused cabin at the slave quarters and had made it his new

    home. Easter cleaned and sometimes cooked for him, or Tiara would, but

    the new domestic arrangements were only occasionally discussed. At night,

    when the slaves were gathered round the campfire enjoying the few moments

    when they were their own masters,

    MERGING 347

some of them would rib Cap'n Jack about his daughter and the Massa, but

Cap'n Jack only smiled, for everything was coming to pass as it should.

Some of the younger men thought it was an insult, the Massa taking

advantage of a slave, but their elders shrugged. It was, to most of them,

inevitable. Jass and Easter had been inseparable as children, and now, it

seemed, would be inseparable as adults, and as Tiara insisted, "it was

nat'chrel."

    Sally thought it inevitable too, and said nothing. Despite any

    reservations she had once had about the possibility of this relationship,

    now she was glad of it. She had seen Jass take a premature leap from heir

    to Massa, and saw that he was faltering, awed by the immensity of what

    was now his, and the fact that he was finding some brief hours of

    careless happiness each day, that he had a friend who expected nothing

    from him, was sweet to her.

It was Sally who raised the question of college. They were at dinner, Jass

sitting at the head of the table, and the Trio were in a gleeful mood.

    "But it isn't possible,' I Jass said. "There's too much to do here. "

    Sally, watching him assume a role he was not quite ready for, didn't

    agree.

    "Nonsense," she said. "The plantation is running very smoothly. Mitchell

    has things well in hand here, and Tom and I can make any major decisions.

    With your authority, of course.

    The Trio were all in favor, and dreamed of the devilment they could get

    into if Jass were away.

    "Of course, it's your decision," said Sally. "But I think it might be

    good for you. It would give you"-she chose her words carefully-"

    breathing space."

    Jass was silent for a while, and toyed with his food. After the death of

    James, he had abandoned the idea of college, believing it was his duty

    to run The Forks of Cypress. But too often he felt overwhelmed by his

    role. The holdings were so extensive, and so complex, he relied

    completely on the advice of his mother, and his cousin (brother-in-law?)

    Tom Kirkman,

348 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

or the overseer, and he wondered how his father had been able to keep

track of it all. Tom seemed to understand all the nooks and crannies, and

had suggested that when the prices were right, they reduce some of the

unwieldy estate. The plantation in Missouri was up for sale, and Colonel

Elliot had offered to buy the stud farm in Nashville. Tom took charge of

these negotiations, and often Jass felt as if he were in the way, or

unnecessary, but the responsibility for the many lives under his dominion,

and the ultimate right of decision, caused him sleepless nights. Sally

knew this, and believed that he had the right to the days of youth. A.J.

would have been well into his twenties when James died, but Jass was only

in his teens. She hoped that college would give him the respite that he

needed, allow him time to grow.

    Jass was thrilled by the idea. He still had a young man's wanderlust, and

    while New Jersey wasn't quite the same as California, at least it was a

    journey. He knew a degree was completely unnecessary to his future, but

    it might give him a sense of achievement. More than everything else, he

    thought it would be fun.

    "And you can take a slave," William said. "To look after you. I'm going

    to take Ephraim when I go, to look after my horse. -

    Then he remembered himself. "If that's all fight with you, of course."

    Jass smiled his assent.

    "You could take Easter," George giggled. "She'd really look after you."

    "Don't be foul." Jass was stem, but amused by them. "Of course I'd take

    Cap'n Jack."

    "But what will Easter do for four years?" asked Alexander. "She'll get

    awfully lonely."

    "I could look after that," said William cheekily, and winked at his

    brothers, who fell into fits of laughter.

    His mother was furious. The relationship between Jass and Easter was

    never discussed, or even mentioned, in the house. "If you can't control

    your tongue, you'd better go to your room," she said.

    "Sorry, Mamma." William didn't look remotely sorry, and George had the

    devil in him.

    "More to the point," he said, "what will you do about Lizzie?"

    MERGING 349

    Jass looked at Sally. He had no idea what he was going to do about

    Lizzie, whether he went to college or not.

Lizzie was a major part of Jass's problems, for she had taken James's

death hard. He had come to represent the father figure she so sorely

needed, and she transferred many of her emotional requirements to Jass,

making demands of him that he was incapable of fulfilling. She wanted

paternal authority and youthful suitor all in one. She deferred to him in

all aspects, but constantly tried to exact decisions of him about her

life, which, Jass thought, were not his to make. She was forever offering

him unwanted advice about the plantation, and his affairs, and most of

all, his perceived position, until Jass could hardly bear to be with her.

Then she would change, or her idea of him would, and she would become the

coquette, the silly, flirtatious Lizzie of old. And this, compared with

the tranquil calm of Easter, was even more infuriating to Jass. Then she

might weep, and insist he didn't love her, which confused Jass since love