Qaletaqa (34 page)

This couldn’t be easy, of course. Not for
us.

“Claire?” Harvey asked. “Are you okay?”

Absolutely not, I thought. Every time I
turned around it was more complications, more tidbits to crush my
hope.

“Yeah, Harvey, I’m okay,” I said. “I’m just
worried.”

“Worried?” he asked. “Why? What did you just
read?”

“This book has told me a lot, but every time
I think I’m about to get the answer I want, all I get is another
question.” I sighed. That wasn’t fair. But at least I was aware the
special power, even if I didn’t know what it was exactly.

“What’s the question?” Harvey asked.

I raised an eyebrow at him. Did he really
think he could help? He still kept glancing back at the sleeping
Talon every few seconds. I think he thought Talon might decide to
eat him at any moment. He couldn’t even accept the least bizarre
part of this disaster. How did he think he was going to help with
this? Even still, he had come this far. It wasn’t like I had anyone
else nearby to ask, anyway.

“Fine,” I said. “What kind of special power
would the Matwau get from fighting Uriah on the place he was born,
which also happens to be the place where he made his first
kill?”

Harvey’s brow scrunched together as he
considered the question. Talon perked his ears up at the question
as well. His eyes grew wide, showing the intelligence that lay
inside. I met his gaze and wondered if he knew the answer. He had
been able to tell Uriah a few things that Uriah hadn’t been able to
find anywhere else before we got the book, like how the Matwau’s
creatures were once regular wolves that were mutated into something
more evil.

At least Quaile’s recounting of the Matwau’s
origin story was able to tell me that the Matwau wouldn’t be able
to create any more allies if Uriah managed to kill them all. That
gift could only be used once. It was a small comfort.

I watched Talon’s eyes dart between me and
Harvey, as if he was waiting for someone to speak. Every second
that passed made him more agitated. He knew, I realized. He knew,
and he couldn’t tell us the answer. Who’s brilliant idea was it
that shamans could only send their thoughts to the animals, not
hear the animals’ in return as well? Who wouldn’t think hearing the
animals would be just as useful?

“Well,” Harvey said, interrupting my internal
rant, “I supposed creating, or waking up, something as powerful as
the Matwau would take a lot of…power, right?”

Talon began nodding frantically.

“Yes, I think so,” I said.

“What if that power, I don’t know, is still
there or something, like a residue that the Matwau could tap into,”
Harvey suggested. He shrugged as if it might have been a silly
suggestion, but I was instantly afraid that he was right.

Turning, I met Talon’s eyes and watched his
head nod once, very slowly.

“The dark gods own power,” I whispered.

The Matwau was already so powerful all on his
own. Would the laws the Matwau was bound by be broken down in the
face of a direct link to his creators who were under no such
restrictions? Ahiga had come to teach Uriah how to defeat the
Matwau. Uriah seemed confident what he had learned would do the
trick. But would that lesson do any good if the Matwau’s power
became limitless?

30: An Acceptable
Sacrifice

The call had ended, but I still held the
phone in my hand. When I handed Claire the book before she left, I
didn’t have a lot of faith that she would find some miraculous bit
of information that would make everything easy. I never expected
the devastating revelation she uncovered, either. I wanted the
throw the phone out the window. I couldn’t stand to hear one more
piece of bad news.

The Matwau already had way more advantages
than he deserved. I was struggling to catch up while he kept being
handed more ways to crush me. Claire’s last question hung in my
mind. Would what Ahiga taught me be enough? In one night, Ahiga had
managed to cram into my mind a hundred ways to hurt the Matwau, to
get him to the point where I could strike the killing blow. But
that was before. Against the Matwau’s own strength, yes, I believed
Ahiga’s teaching would be enough. If I had to battle the dark gods’
own power too? I just didn’t know.

Realizing that I was still crushing the phone
in my palm, I loosened my grip and started dialing. There was only
one person left to turn to for help. I didn’t want to make the
call, but there was no one else. She picked up the phone quickly,
but did not speak.

“Quaile, it’s Uriah. I need to ask you
something.”

“Did Claire read the book?” she asked.

The book had turned out more helpful than I
first expected. I just wished that some of what it held had been
good news. “Yes, Claire read the book.”

“Then you know everything I know,” Quaile
said. “Whatever questions you have, I don’t have any more
answers.”

Was it impossible for her to stop being
difficult for at least two minutes? With an exasperated sigh, I
chose my words very carefully. “You may not think you have any more
answers, but I need you to try. Please, Quaile.”

Quiet leaked out of the phone. The noises of
passing cars and the rattling speakers were suddenly drowned out as
I waited for her response.

“What do you need to know,” she finally
said.

I started with the simplest question first.
“We read the origin story of the Matwau. Because of Bhawana’s
vision and Claire’s dreams we were able to figure out that the
Matwau is leading me to Taos. It’s the same place the Matwau was
brought to life, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, that would make sense,” Quaile said. “I
knew the Matwau had been brought to life near one of the pueblos,
but the Pueblo people were, and are, spread over several states. I
never put much effort into figuring out where that place was. There
never seemed to be a reason to do so, but I always believed it was
here in the Southwest, our tribal home. If you believe he’s leading
you to Taos, then it is very likely that he is leading you back to
the place of his creation.”

“The story mentioned the place giving the
Matwau a special power. One idea we had about that was that maybe
it took a lot of power for the dark gods to wake the Matwau and
maybe some of that power is still there. Is that possible?” I
asked.

“Absolutely. That’s why many of our holy
places are holy to us. Most are either places where something very
sacred took place or will take place in the future. When the gods
release their power on the world, it lingers to remind the people
of what they did. Normally no one but a shaman could do anything
more in these places than sense a sacredness, but I suspect the
Matwau will be able to do more than that when he encounters the
power of his creators.”

“How do I fight that?” I asked.

“The same way you were planning to fight him
before, I suppose,” Quaile snapped.

That was helpful, I thought as I rolled my
eyes. So Harvey was right, but I still didn’t have any plan to beat
this added power other than simply fighting harder. Great. I was
starting to regret ever making this call.

“Quaile, there has to be something more I can
do. I don’t think my power on its own will be enough to battle the
dark gods themselves. You have to try to help me figure this out.
Please.”

“Your own power?” Quaile asked, clearly
confused for some reason. “Of course you can’t defeat the Matwau
with only your own power. You have to give up your bond with your
Twin Soul and accept Claire’s help. That is the only way you’ll
ever have enough power to defeat that monster.”

My entire body went cold. I felt my truck
slow down. I’m not sure how I managed to get it off the road
because I couldn’t think or move, but somehow I ended up stopped on
the side of the highway. Realization threaded through me. I knew.
The way Claire had been acting, her answers that didn’t seem
complete, the obvious lie about her staying behind. I knew she was
hiding something from me. I knew, but I didn’t want to admit
it.

“What did you just say?” I asked, though I
wasn’t sure it was loud enough to be heard.

Quaile didn’t answer at first. I felt like I
was suffocating as I waited. Finally, she said, “Claire didn’t tell
you?”

“Tell me what?”

“About the bond, how you have to give it up
to fully reveal your power, and how it will take more than that.
Claire has to give up her power, give it to you if you have any
hope of beating the Matwau. It was all there in the Matwau’s origin
story. If she read it, she knew all of this,” Quaile said.

“She knew it before that,” I said in
defeat.

“Well, the part about her power she did. He
father told her about the other prophecy before she left San Juan.
That’s how she knew to ask me for the book in the first place.”

My head dropped into my hands. “What other
prophecy?”

“Nampeyo prophesied that the Qaletaqa would
be granted the help of a chosen shaman, and that shaman would be
required to sacrifice her…her power to help you defeat the
Matwau.”

“You hesitated,” I said angrily. “You
hesitated before you said she would have to sacrifice her power.
What else could this cost her, Quaile? What else!” I was yelling,
furious, and on the verge of breaking down completely.
Please…please don’t say it.

Quaile sighed. “Giving up her power could
very well cost Claire her life.”

The phone slipped from my fingers and fell to
the seat. I was sure Quaile could hear my sobbing, but I didn’t
care. I had fought and bled to save Claire, to keep her, and now
this. Now her life might be stolen so I could defeat the Matwau.
Shaking all over, I denied the gods, denied anyone who thought
Claire’s life was an acceptable sacrifice. I wouldn’t do it. No one
else would die because of a choice I made when I was too naïve to
understand what I was doing. If I wasn’t strong enough to kill the
Matwau on my own, then he would win. I refused to see anyone else
die because of my decisions.

Quaile’s voice called out to me from the
dropped phone. I picked it up, but not to argue with her. Nothing
she could say would change my mind. I knew which side of this
battle she would fall on. She had already lied to me and betrayed
me multiple times, trying to force me into the path she wanted me
to take.

“What about the Twin Soul part?” I asked,
forcing aside everything else. “You said I have to give up the bond
before I can defeat the Matwau. What did you mean by that? I won’t
even be able to get to Melody until after I kill the Matwau.”

“That, I do not know, Uriah. I can only tell
you what was said in the origin story of the Matwau. When the
Matwau and the gifts to destroy him were created it was said that
turning away from the bond would unlock the rest of your power.
When that was meant to occur, and how it unlocked the power, I
can’t help you. I simply do not know.”

“I don’t understand how to do what Claire
did,” I said. “Claire told me about how she had to face Daniel and
truly convince him that he didn’t want her. I feel the same as
Claire, and Melody doesn’t want the bond any more than I do. Why
doesn’t that count?”

“If you really listened to Claire you would
understand that it wasn’t that easy.” She sighed. “As much as
Claire said she didn’t want the bond to Daniel, a very large part
of her did want to be with him. It was only after she realized you
might die, and she convinced both herself and Daniel that
abandoning the bond was the only way to save you, was she able to
truly suppress her link to Daniel. She knew exactly what she was
sacrificing, and she turned away.”

“But I know already. So does Melody. We’re
ready to sacrifice the bond,” I argued.

“If you were, the bond would already be
suppressed.”

Her words hit me hard, but she didn’t let
up.

“As much as you want to be with Claire, you
know a huge part of your soul wants Melody just as badly. Try,
Uriah. Try to deny it.”

My silence was answer enough.

“You must find the one thing that will truly
make you forsake Melody. And she must do the same. It’s the only
way left to you. But simply suppressing the bond won’t be enough
this time. You have to break it completely. You both do.”

“What? How? I thought you said that was
impossible.”

“That was before I knew who Claire was,
before I found new hope that everything could happen as it was
supposed to. Before Claire told me she was the chosen shaman I
didn’t believe either of you would have the power it would require
to break the bond.”

Power? Getting the power required breaking
the bond. And that power had to be given up to defeat the Matwau.
How did that leave any power for breaking a bond which had to be
broken before the power could be gained in the first place? It
seemed like a circle with no beginning and no ending. It didn’t
make sense.

“Quaile, I don’t understand. I have to break
the bond to get power, but I have to first have the power in order
to break the bond? I don’t see how that’s possible.”

“That is because you are looking at the
problem through mortal eyes, not through a gods’ eternal, circular
perspective. When Claire first asked me how to break the bond I
didn’t know how it would work, only that it would. I have searched
everything to find an answer for her. Giving and getting happens at
the same time, always.

“When you give something up you gain
something in return. Give up power to get power. It will be
different for Claire than it will be for you, because of the way
your power works. Claire must give up her power first, and you must
give up the bond first. As you both make your sacrifice the power
will flow into you. I know it is a difficult concept to understand,
but I have explained it the best I can.”