Pushing the Boundaries (Picking up the Pieces #3) (11 page)

“It’s nice to meet you, sir,” he said, shaking my grandfather’s hand and ignoring my pained yelp.

“I think a bug bit me,” I said at Pop Pop’s curious expression while rubbing the sting from my butt cheek and staring daggers at my
husband
.

“Good to meet you, too, son. Please call me Hal. Or Pop Pop, if you prefer. It’s what Lizzy calls me, and you’re family after all.”

“You got it, Pop Pop,” Trevor smiled. Even at eighty-three, my grandfather was still in great shape, only standing an inch or two shorter than Trevor. He’d gotten a little softer around the middle with age, but he carried it well. If it wasn’t for his balding head, he’d look younger than he was.

“Let’s get you two inside. The family’s dying to meet you, son.”

Pop Pop ushered us into the house, and as soon as we crossed the threshold the chaotic noise of my family became overwhelmingly loud. Maybe I should have warned him just how insane my family was, but a twisted part of me was kind of giddy that I’d get to see the discomfort on his face. It was only fair, after all. It had barely been a week since my very public apology, and he’d already managed to piss me off
again
.

Stepping into the formal dining room, I took in the scene in front of me. My mom, dad, Aunt Suzy, her husband, Uncle Dan, Aunt Katherine, and her partner, Aunt Lucy were all arguing loudly and talking over each other.

Ah, just like old times.

Nana came bustling out of the kitchen carrying a platter of what looked to be pot roast and vegetables.

Huh, what are the odds of that
?

My Nana was something else. Where Pop Pop was tall, Nana was a tiny little thing. She wore her white hair in a short cut which she always styled like a football helmet, and she constantly dressed to impress. Sunday best was my Nana’s twenty-four/seven style, complete with pearls and red lipstick. She looked like a harmless, sweet old lady, but then she’d open her mouth. Imagine June Cleaver mixed with Betty White. That was my Nana.

“Trevor!” she squealed after putting the platter on the center of the table.

“Nana!” he shouted excitedly before scooping her up in a bear hug and spinning her around.

What the hell was happening?

“How are you doing, darlin’?” she asked once he’d placed her feet back on the ground.

“I’m fantastic now that I got to lay my eyes on you.”

“Oh, you,” she blushed, giving Trevor a playful slap on the shoulder.

“What the fuck is going on here?” I didn’t realize I’d spoken that out loud until everyone got quiet and turned to stare at me.

“Lizzy-Lu. That’s no way for a lady to talk,” Nana admonished.
Please
! Like the woman didn’t cuss enough to make a sailor cringe!

I shook my head violently to try and clear my confused brain. I wasn’t sure what was happening in front of me. “I’m sorry, but why are you two acting like you know each other?” I asked, looking between Nana and Trevor.

“Because we do know each other, honey bunch. We’ve instant messaged on Facebook every day since you two got married.”

What?!

“What?!”

“Don’t look so surprised,
cher
; I told you I loved her,” Trevor said with a smirk, causing Nana to giggle like a school girl.

“Seriously?!”

“Oh, pull the stick out, honey,” my mother stated as she and my father stood to give me hugs. After my mom got hers, she all but pushed me out of the way to get to Trevor. “Oh, my, aren’t you just a walking wet dream,” she said, staring up him dreamily.

Oh, gross.

“Standing right here, love of my life,” my father deadpanned as he pushed my mom out of the way to shake Trevor’s hand. Introductions to the rest of my family followed before we were able to sit down to eat.

Once seated, we all dug in, loading our plates up with Nana’s amazing-smelling food. Trevor couldn’t stop gushing over her for making his favorite meal. I kept biting down on my cheek to keep the smart-aleck comments from slipping out. The damn man was acting like he’d been a part of the family for years. What happened to getting to watch him squirm uncomfortably? I had really been looking forward to that! Trevor talked politics with my Dad—fortunately they both had the same opinions—and he flirted with my mom and nana. He talked fishing with Pop Pop and Uncle Dan, and even got into an argument with Aunt Katherine about which football team was better, the Cowboys or the Texans. When I jumped in with my opinion that the Texans were better because they had JJ Watt and women around the world would tune in just to stare at his butt in those pants, they both just looked at me with disgusted expressions.

Jokes were passed around, the conversation never stopped, and by the end of the meal Trevor had won over every person at the table. I should have known that his off-color sense of humor would have been right up their alley.

“So,” my mother said, talking over Aunt Lucy. Something that was common knowledge with my family was that you needed to be the loudest and never afraid to interrupt if you wanted to be heard. “I know you two have been friends for a while now. What made you decide to get hitched in Vegas?”

There it was, the question I’d been dreading all night long. Telling her “I got shitfaced and me and my drunken friends decided it would be fun” wasn’t something I really wanted to fess up to. But before I could come up with a more politically-correct way to say just that, Trevor butted in.

“Well, Diane. When it’s right, it’s right. You know?” he answered simply. Then added, “I mean, look at her. Have you ever seen a more beautiful woman in your life? She looks just like you. No wonder James is so smitten with you.” He turned his head and shot a wink at my father who lifted his glass in agreement while all the women at the table swooned. I struggled not to roll my eyes.

“Lizzy, if you let this one go, I will hunt your ass down and make you wish you’d never been born.

And there it was.

I glared at Trevor as he looked back at me, mischief glinting in his blue eyes.

“Well, I want to know what the sex is like,” Nana exclaimed. And right at that moment I really
did
wish I’d never been born. “With a man who looks like him, you should be giving it up on the regular, Lizzy-Lu,” Nana said with a sure nod.

Another thing to be said about my family, not a one of them had a filter. My father chuckled light-heartedly, having had the same discussion the first time my mother brought him home. Pop Pop shook his head good-naturedly and the rest of the women, Katherine and Lucy included, all nodded in agreement with Nana while Trevor busted out laughing.

With an excited clap, Nana said, “Oh! Trevor, darlin’. I made you that chocolate cake for dessert you asked for.”

Of course she did.

“My. In-laws. Are. Awesome!” Trevor enthused once we got home from dinner. Rolling my eyes, I dropped my keys on the entry table and closed the door behind us. I’d rolled them so many times tonight I was actually starting to give myself a headache.

“Seriously, Lizzy. I’m totally in love with your family.”

“Great,” I deadpanned. “You can get them in the divorce. They like you better anyway,” I told him as I pushed past him into the kitchen to pour myself a much needed glass of wine.

“Ha! You’re surprised? I mean, look at all of this,” he laughed, but his laughter was quickly cut off by my shrill scream.

“TREVOR!”

“What! What is it?” He came rushing into the kitchen, his eyes traveling to where I was looking. “Son of a bitch. Merle! This is
so
not helping our case here, buddy.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. I watched Merle chew on the stuffing he ripped from one of my dining room chairs. All around him, destruction laid spread out on the floor. Not a single dining room chair survived. Images of neutering the damn horse-puppy clouded my brain.

Shoving past Trevor, I stomped up the stairs and into my bedroom, locking the door behind me.

“You did what?” Luke laughed as I told him about surprising Lizzy with Merle.

“Dude, stop moving or I’m gonna fuck this up.” I went back to work on the Celtic knot on Luke’s back. “Man, I can’t believe no one’s noticed you’ve had Emmy’s name hidden in this thing all these years,” I told him as I outlined her name with white ink so it stood out more, right dead in the center of the thing. After I finished that stage, he was having me expand the design. He wanted to add Ella’s name to it, the first baby he and Emmy had, a little girl who unfortunately died in Emmy’s eighth month of pregnancy. He also had me leave a space in the design so their new baby’s name could be added once he or she was born.

“Sorry, man. I just can’t get over it. A dog? And a Great Dane at that! I mean really, I’m not surprised she lost her shit.”

“Whatever,” I muttered, trying to concentrate on finishing up the white around Emmy’s name. “She started it with that fat bastard cat. Fucking Mr. Bojangles,” I grumbled the last words.

I had to pull the gun away quickly as Luke’s body started shaking with laughter. “Man, come on!” I scolded.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, trying to catch his breath. “But you have to admit, y ‘all’s marriage is a goddamned comedy of errors. Look at it from an outsider’s perspective. You move in without her permission—which, FYI, helping you fucked me, Jeremy and Ben royally. The women wouldn’t put out for days when Lizzy told them what happened. Fucking girl-code bullshit…”

“Fuck off.”

“Then,” he continued, “you tattoo her name on your ass—”

“Uh, are you not aware of what we’re doing right now?” I asked as I wiped off the excess ink from his back.

“Whatever, Emmy’s knocked up with my kid. She’s stuck with me for life.”

I stayed quiet for just a bit. “Uh, you think I should try and knock her up?”

“What? No! Jesus Christ, are you insane?”

“Well, it sounded like a suggestion!” I said defensively.

“Well, it wasn’t, dipshit! Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you actually have to have sex in order to get a chick pregnant?”

I released a defeated sigh. “Don’t remind me. My poor dick’s been in a constant state of misery ever since I met that woman.”

Luke fidgeted in the chair trying to find a more comfortable position. “That’s one thing I don’t understand, brother. Why do you let her think you’ve been sleeping around all this time if you really haven’t?”

Glancing over to Mickey’s station, I checked to make sure she wasn’t listening in on our conversation. “She’s not ready for the truth yet,” I answered lamely.

“Man, that’s bullshit,” Luke shot back. “Look, I know the fucked-up shit your dad was about, but Lizzy’s not like that. She doesn’t think you’re worthless. She knows you’re a good guy. Just tell her the truth.”

I rubbed antibiotic ointment over Luke’s tattoo and covered it up, taking the time to think about what he had said. “Is it so wrong to want someone to see me for me?” I asked more to myself than to Luke.

“So that’s what this is about?” Luke asked as he pulled his shirt over his head. “You want her to have faith in you, you gotta show her a little yourself.”

“You know, I like you a lot less since you got back with Emmy. You’ve got an annoying-as-fuck habit of being perceptive.”

Luke let out a hearty laugh as he headed out the door. “Women’ll do that to you, brother. They have the uncanny ability of making us smarter just by being in their presence.”