Authors: Evangeline Anderson
Kat shrugged. “Oh you know, just fine. Lock is as sweet as can be and Deep…well, he’s Deep. What can I say?” She grinned, obviously enjoying the thought of her bad-boy dark twin.
“I’m glad to hear it.” Nadiah sighed. “Well, I really must be going. I understand transmissions at this distance take tremendous energy.”
“They do, but don’t be a stranger,” Olivia said.
“That’s right. Call us back when you find something out about Lissa,” Sophia said. “I didn’t get to know her very well, but she seemed really sweet.”
“She is.” Nadiah’s eyes began to fill again and she blinked away tears. “I just hope…hope that she’s all right.”
“We’ll say a prayer for her,” Lauren assured her quietly. “That she’ll be safe and find her way home.”
“Thank you. I miss you all.” Nadiah’s lovely new blue-green eyes encompassed all of them for a moment and then the viewing screen went dark.
“Oh dear,” Sophie sighed. She looked close to tears herself and Lauren could understand why. From what she’d heard, during her time on Tranq Prime Sophie had practically adopted Nadiah as a little sister. To see her good friend so upset and not be able to ease the pain must be hard.
“It’s okay, womb-mate.” Olivia put an arm around her twin sister’s shoulders. “They’ll find her—I’m sure they will.”
“I hope so.” Kat shook her head. “Too bad she insisted on going out in the desert without a stitch on. I hope she at least brought some heavy duty sun block.”
“I don’t want to think about it anymore,” Sophia wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Let’s all just go back to my suite and talk about something else. We can plan Lauren and Liv’s baby shower.” She looked at Kat. “Or your joining.”
Kat looked vaguely uncomfortable. “Babies come first.”
“Speaking of babies, fellow pregnant lady…” Olivia let go of Sophie and came to hook her arm through Lauren’s. “You said you were looking for me. Was there a problem you needed help with?”
“Um…” Lauren felt her cheeks growing warm. “No, that’s okay. It’s no big deal.”
Liv gave her a sharp look. “It’s not, huh? Okay. Well, at least come back to Sophie’s with us for a snack. We were about to call you over when we heard we had a call from Nadiah.”
“Well…” Lauren hesitated, but really, what did she have to go back to? Xairn was out of the suite and Little One had probably settled down for the night. “All right,” she said at last.
“Great. And I’ve got plenty of pregnant-lady snacks,” Sophie said, leading the way out of the viewing room and down the long corridor.
“Pregnant-lady snacks?” Lauren frowned at Liv. “What is it now? Are you still eating seaweed sandwiches?”
“Of course not.” Liv made a dismissive gesture. “Seaweed is
so
last quadmester. I’m into stuffed mushrooms now.”
Lauren smiled. “Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.”
Kat made a face. “You should hear what she stuffs them with!”
“I’m almost afraid to find out.” Lauren laughed and shook her head. Though she was still worried about her problems with Xairn, she suddenly felt lighter. Just being around her girlfriends seemed to lift her mood. She told herself that her questions could wait—at least until after their girl time was over. Then, as soon as Kat and Sophia left, she would take Olivia aside and get all the information she could.
* * * * *
"Okay, I can tell you're hanging around here after everyone else has gone for a reason. So come on, spill," Olivia demanded.
Lauren sighed and ran her hands through her hair. How to begin? She’d been trying for days to get her cousin alone and now she was almost too embarrassed to talk about the problem. But she had to—she needed some answers,
now
.
“It’s about Xairn,” she began at last, in a low voice.
“He won’t touch you, right?” Olivia raised one blonde eyebrow. “You guys probably haven’t made love in weeks—ever since you found out you were pregnant.”
“Exactly.” Lauren blew out a breath. “I know I told you and the other girls some of that already, but how did you know it’s been so long?”
“You have that edgy look—hungry. Unsatisfied.” Olivia frowned. “I don’t know about you, but being preggers has made me so damn, well…
horny
—for want of a better word. It’s almost like another appetite I have to feed and Lord knows I spend enough of my day eating already!”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Lauren exclaimed. “It’s making me
crazy
. But Xairn won’t come near me and I even thought, well…” She cleared her throat. “I thought maybe being pregnant had changed my scent or something. I mean, the Kindred and the Scourge both seem to have such a sensitive sense of smell…”
Olivia nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, Baird has told me that being pregnant has changed my scent a little. But he said it made me smell sweeter—even more desirable. So I don’t think that’s the source of your problem.”
“What is, then?” Lauren burst out. She hopped up from the couch and started pacing. “What’s wrong with him? He’s acting exactly like he did before we finally bonded. When he was so afraid he was going to lose control and hurt me.”
“Maybe that’s it—he’s afraid he’ll hurt the baby if you guys, uh…” Olivia coughed. “Engage in your normal form of sex.”
Lauren laughed. “We’re not
that
kinky, cuz. It’s not like he’s beating me with whips and chains or anything. It’s more about, you know, submission.” She blushed. “With a little bit of spanking from time to time.”
“Rrrrow,” Olivia purred, grinning. “You’re making me want to go find Baird right now to play a few discipline games. Sounds like fun.”
“It is,” Lauren admitted. “But at this point I’d settle for plain old missionary position sex.
Anything
to take the edge off.”
Liv raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you still eating the bonding fruit on a regular basis?”
Lauren sighed. “I’ve had to cut back some—it was too much to handle, especially when Xairn won’t come near me.”
“Well maybe you should point that out to him,” Olivia said. “In fact, have you tried talking to him at all? To get to the root of the problem?”
Lauren ran a hand through her hair in frustration. “Every time I try, he puts me off or runs away on some errand he swears can’t wait. I’ve even tried wearing my sexiest outfit to seduce him but, well…” She shrugged sadly. “No effect.”
Olivia frowned. “I bet you had a much bigger effect on him than you know, Lauren. It’s just that for some reason, Xairn is afraid to show it.” She pushed the bowl of popcorn out of the way. “No more pussy-footing around—you have to
make
him tell you. Lock him in your suite or tie him up or something but don’t let him go until he talks.”
Lauren felt a surge of determination. “You’re right. I’ve been trying to avoid a direct confrontation, but I guess that’s the only way I’ll ever find out what’s going on.” She sighed. “I’ve just been feeling so
vulnerable
lately. My biological father left my mom when she was pregnant with me, you know? I guess I was afraid if I forced Xairn to talk to me, if I pushed him too hard…” She made a helpless gesture with one hand.
Olivia nodded sympathetically. “I get why you’re worried, but you shouldn’t be. Xairn’s
not
going to leave you—you’ve had bonding sex, remember? Kindred mate for life, and Xairn has enough Kindred blood in him for that to apply to him too.”
“You know…you’re
right
.” Lauren murmured as the truth of her cousin’s words sank in. Tears of relief came to her eyes and she tried to blink them away. “God, why didn’t I think of that? I think these pregnancy hormones are making me crazy or stupid or both.” Going back to the couch, she gave Olivia a big hug. “Thank you, Liv. You’ve made me feel
so
much better.”
Liv hugged her back. "That's what cousins are for. So go for it, Lauren—make him talk and don't take no for an answer."
"I will," Lauren promised, and she meant it. She was going to get to the bottom of this problem with Xairn if it was the last thing she did.
Lissa didn’t know how long she’d been wandering, naked and without food or water, but it must have been a long while—she was beginning to see visions.
At first it was just colored lights flashing before her eyes, which might have been just the pale green sun of First World glinting off the rainbow colored sands of the desert. But when she began to hear voices, Lissa knew something wasn’t right. Especially when the voices started talking about her—talking about her hair.
“Greeny hair, greeny hair, Lissa has the greeny hair,”
they chanted in her ears.
“No…no I don’t,” Lissa protested, putting a hand to her hair protectively. It was pale blonde with deep jade-green streaks that matched her jade-green eyes —a sign that she was one of the rare Kindred females. She was relieved to find it was still long, flowing down to tickle the small of her back as she moved.
But I’m supposed to cut it,
she thought, feeling dazed.
As a sign of respect—I’m supposed to cut it all off.
That had been the plan, anyway.
She had a knife in her other hand, a long, curving blade used to harvest grain in the small, rocky gardens of the holy mountain. It was the only thing she’d taken with her on her pilgrimage. Her plan, she remembered now, had been to walk to the middle of the desert and use the knife to chop her long hair short—as short as possible.
But the path was long and winding and the desert was hot. Luckily, Lissa knew of a few places where water came to the surface around the mountain. She’d made use of her knowledge to keep herself hydrated on the first part of her journey, just as she used her power to keep a thin layer of sand suspended above her head to act as a sun-shade. As she got deeper into the desert and further from the holy mountain of the Goddess however, her powers began to lessen and water was harder to find. Now she was barely able to keep the sand above her head aloft and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a drink of cool, life-giving water.
Just have to keep going,
she told herself doggedly. There was an oasis right in the dead center of the rainbow desert. There she could rest and refresh herself and cut her hair as the ritual of mourning a high priestess demanded.
“Greeny hair, greeny hair,”
chanted the voices again and this time Lissa saw the chanters. A ring of children suddenly appeared before her, wavering in the desert heat. She blinked in surprise because she recognized them—her old classmates from school.
“It’s so ugly,”
Chainee, the leader of the popular clique said.
“And my mame' says it’s an unnatural color. All yellow with green streaks—like snot! Yuck!”
There was a chorus of mean laughter from the rest of the group and Chainee tossed her own hair, which was the proper color—deep brown. All the other children had hair and eyes the exact same shade—all but Lissa.
“Leave me alone,” she told the children, staggering a little as the sands shifted under her feet. “My hair is fine. It’s just different. My mame’ says it’s all right to be different.”
“You mean your mame’ who got killed?”
Yancee, another of the popular girls taunted.
“Along with your pape’ and little brother? Were they weird too—is that why the pirates killed them?”
“Don’t talk about my family like that!” Tears filled Lissa’s eyes, or would have if she hadn’t been so dehydrated. The pain of her loss was still vivid and fresh—like a wound that wouldn’t heal. She missed them desperately, missed being aboard their small ship as they went from station to station, trading. And to think she used to feel bored and wish for a normal life down on the home planet, away from her pesky little brother, Dak. Well now she had a normal life—or as normal a life as an orphan could have, anyway—and she hated it. She would have given anything to be away from this awful place, to see her parents’ and brother’s faces one more time.
But I can’t,
she thought.
I can’t. They’re dead…dead…never coming back.
“Where did you even get that greeny snot hair anyway?”
taunted Chainee.
“My mame’ says the rest of your family looked normal. She says it means your mame’ was a slut—she must have slept with some alien while you were out trying to get people on the stations to buy your junk. And that’s why you have such weird hair and eyes.”
“That’s not true!” Lissa cried. “It’s because my father’s a Kindred and I’m a girl. Kindred almost never have girls but when they do, they look like me.” She wished desperately there were more Kindred among the first families of her clan but although their numbers were growing, it was a slow process. And anyway, females resulting from Kindred unions were so scarce it was doubtful she would ever be considered normal—at least on Tarsia.
“It doesn’t matter how she got it,”
Yancee said.
“The point is, it’s ugly.”
“Yeah—she should cut it off.”
Chainee grinned at her nastily and began to chant.
“Cut it off…cut it off…cut it off…”
Soon all the children had taken up the chant. They crowded around Lissa, forcing her to back up. She stumbled, clutching her hair protectively in one hand and the knife in the other. The sands shifted under her feet, making it hard to walk. “No, leave me alone!” she cried. “Please, just leave me alone!”
“Leave her alone,”
a deep, quiet voice echoed just behind her.
Lissa whipped her head around and saw Saber standing there, a frown on his handsome face. She looked at him, astonished.
What is he doing here? And why is he defending me?
Saber was the Over Chief’s son, and now that Lissa had been adopted into his family, he was technically her big brother. But though she’d been living there for several months, he’d scarcely said a word to her. Of course, being four years older, he had other things to occupy his time than a misfit orphan girl who just happened to live under his roof.
Besides, he was so handsome and popular—the team leader in all the sports, the male considered most likely to succeed, not to mention the heir to the Over Chief—there was little wonder he paid no attention to her. Well, maybe not
no
attention. Lissa had caught him looking at her strangely from time to time and once, when she was having a really bad nightmare, reliving the death of her parents, he’d woken her with a silent shake on the arm. But there was nothing in his past behavior to indicate he would stand up for her and be her champion against the cruelty of her classmates.