Purpose (29 page)

Mom hovered over Sheree and Owen, probably
pushing her own power into them. Sheree lay on the concrete balcony
floor, her body convulsing in a seizure. A mix of sobs and groans
sounded like they escaped from her every pore. Mom and Rina held
their hands tightly against her writhing body. Rina’s face took on
that expression it does when she assesses me—her eyes still bright
and alert to her surroundings, but her mouth pursed in
concentration.

“She suffers greatly. She needs us,” Rina
finally said to Mom.

“Owen get them inside,” Mom said, tossing her
head toward Tristan and me without removing her hands from
Sheree.

Owen stood, strong and sturdy on his own
legs, his full strength already restored. He helped Tristan and me
up as if we were one body and ushered us inside. Tristan sat with
me on the couch. I still trembled against his side.

“
We are going to help you. You want to
convert, no?
” Rina’s voice sounded in my head but I knew she
“spoke” to Sheree.

I closed my eyes, needing a moment of quiet,
really wanting to sleep. But trying to block out Rina seemed to
take more energy than I had right now. The image of Sheree on the
balcony, as seen through Rina’s eyes, just simply appeared, without
my trying. Sheree had stopped convulsing. She stared at Rina and
Mom, her eyes like a wild animal’s. Her answer to Rina’s silent
question came in a weak nod.

“You have to voice it,” Mom said in a hushed
tone.

“I want to convert,” Sheree whispered.

“Why?” Mom asked. “You must convince us.”

“I-I-I d-don’t want be like them,” Sheree
whispered. “I hate them. They’re horrible.
Evil
. They did
this to me. M-m-made me a…a…a
monster
!”

“
You do not have to be a monster. We can
show you how to live with what you are but without harming people.
Is this what you want?
” Rina asked.

Sheree nodded emphatically. “Yes, oh, yes.
That or to die.”

“We won’t let you die,” Mom said. “But this
will not be easy. What is your name?”

“Sheree.”

“How did this happen to you, Sheree?”

The young woman gulped and her face screwed
up as she forced herself to remember.

“I went to Africa, for a mission trip. We
built a school and taught some of the orphans in this little
village. On the last night we were there, I snuck out for a walk.
It was stupid, being out by myself in the dark, but I couldn’t
sleep. I felt bad leaving those kids, you know? They had no one to
love them and take care of them, and here I was, going back to my
comfy life. With a real bed, hot food…a
shower
. All those
things that are just there for us, but not for them. You know what
I mean?” She sighed softly and then shook her head. “I’m not sure
what happened. I remember hearing a growl, kinda like a cat
but…different. Lower, like it was bigger than just any ol’ mouser.
Then there was this awful pain down my back, like my skin was
ripping apart. I passed out, and when I woke up, it was morning and
time to go. I had scratches all over me, but they weren’t deep, so
I didn’t worry about them. By the time we got back home, they were
almost gone. I thought I’d been jumped by one of the smaller cats
out there. There are all kinds they warned us about. I blew it off
as just a stupid mistake. And it seemed like no big deal, once I
was home and getting back to my normal life. Until the first full
moon….”

Sheree continued with her story of a Daemoni
watching her transform the first time, seizing the opportunity to
loop a collar around her neck while terror and confusion
immobilized her. He told her he knew what was happening to her and
he could make her better. He filled her with other broken promises
and lies of hope. Then he took her away. She hadn’t seen her family
since.

They kept her captive in the same place in
Siberia where they’d held Tristan. They told her they would release
her when she accepted what she had become. After that first
time...killing the couple by the lake...her senses returned and she
vowed to never do that again. She refused to shift for the Daemoni
except when the full moon forced her and then she wouldn’t eat
until the moon waned and she returned to human form. Because, for
the three days of each month’s full moon, they only provided human
flesh.

She figured they’d been holding her there for
about nine months before Tristan unknowingly helped her escape.

“They told me stories about Seth,” she
said.

“Tristan,” Mom corrected.

Through Rina’s eyes, I saw Sheree’s brows
furrow with confusion.

“We call him Tristan,” Rina said. “You will
call him Tristan now.”

“Um, okay, stories about Tristan, the traitor
who they got back and were torturing to death. ‘That’s what we do
to those who try to leave,’ they said. They were trying to scare
me, but it just gave me hope that there must be another way for
this…life, if that’s what you call it. I heard him fighting them,
trying to get out, and I snuck behind him, nobody noticing me in
all the ruckus. I followed him all the way as he flashed back to
the States, but I knew I couldn’t go home. I was—am—a nasty,
horrible
beast. What would I do to my family if I lost
control? I thought Seth, I mean, Tristan, might help me, if he knew
what I wanted, but I couldn’t bring myself to get close to him.
He’s, um, kinda terrifying, you know?”

She explained how she continued following
him, from Atlanta to Key West, always maintaining a safe distance.
Then Vanessa and her friends found her. They were supposed to scare
her into submission. I interrupted them the first time. Owen found
her next to the Ferrari the second time, after they’d beaten her to
near death. She described the pain and fear they inflicted on her,
her words seeming to hang in the thick air, followed by a long
silence.

“You are very new to this. Do you still
remember what love is?” Mom finally asked.

An image of the African orphans flashed in
Rina’s and my minds. Wide, white smiles against dark-skinned faces,
emaciated with hunger. Their heads looked too large for their
skin-and-bone frames. But they grinned at us nonetheless. And then
other images of an older couple who must have been her parents and
faces who were no doubt her siblings—the resemblance showed clear
in her memory.

“She remembers,” Rina said.

“Good,” Mom said. “Remember that love,
Sheree. Hold onto the memory tightly. Remember how love feels in
your heart—warm, big, all-consuming.”

Sheree stiffened as Mom and Rina pushed
stronger Amadis power into her. At least she didn’t seize this
time.

“You can love again,” Mom said, nodding her
head and stroking Sheree’s arm with one hand while holding her
other hand around the Were’s wrist.

“
Remember how it feels to hold them next
to you, to comfort them, to provide for them in need,
” Rina
added silently.

“You can do this,” Mom encouraged.

She and Rina continued a sort of mantra,
reminding Sheree of what love felt like. Eventually Sheree’s body
relaxed and she seemed to succumb to their power.

I pulled my focus from them and back inside
and looked up at Tristan. His head leaned back, on the top of the
couch cushions, his eyes closed. He opened them slightly,
apparently feeling me looking at him. He frowned. My own brows
knitted together and my bottom lip pushed out.

“What?” I asked, uncomfortable with his
expression.

His eyes opened wider as he examined my face
for a long moment. Then he sighed and closed his eyes again.

“You saw my thoughts, my memories, didn’t
you?” he finally asked, his voice quiet as a whisper. But I could
still hear the pain and the shame in his question.

I dropped my head and leaned closer against
him. I took his hand in both of mine.

“Yes,” I whispered with my own shame. “I’m
sorry.”

He chuckled, but the sound fell flat with the
lack of humor in it. “
You’re
sorry? You can’t help it.
Especially with how intense everything was.”

“Then why do you sound angry?”

“I’m not angry at you. I’m frustrated with
myself. I should have been able to handle the power, to control
it.” He sighed again and his voice became even quieter. I could
hear his disgust increase with each word—disgust with himself. “I
never wanted you to know those things about me.”

My heart squeezed with his pain and
self-reproach. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried to
think of the right words to comfort him. I didn’t know what they
were, though.

“I know you didn’t,” I finally said. “But you
didn’t honestly think I had no clue, did you? I mean, after
watching that battle…when you left…I saw some pretty horrible stuff
then, Tristan. By both sides. I had an idea of what you were like
and I’ve had years to imagine all kinds of things.”

“But it couldn’t have been as bad as
reality.”

This time I chuckled with no humor. “I’m a
writer. My imagination is pretty twisted.”

He didn’t reply. After a while, though, I
felt him watching me. “And you still love me?”

I looked up at him with surprise. “Of course
I do! What I saw doesn’t change who you are now.”

“It changes what you know about me. That must
change what you think of me.”

I rolled onto my knees and his arms fell away
from me. A cold shudder consumed me as soon as his warmth was
released. But I had to look him in the eye so he would know what I
said was not made up to make him feel better, but was the full,
heartfelt truth. I placed both of my hands on the sides of his face
and held it firmly.

“You know what else I saw tonight? She
doesn’t know it, but through Sheree, I saw you in those caves. I
saw your pain, your agony at being there. Your desperation of
wanting to escape, to get away from them. I saw you fight them. You
came back to
me
, Tristan. You came back to us, the Amadis.
You yourself said earlier tonight that you’re Amadis now. Your
memories…that’s your past life, remember?”

He closed his eyes, breaking their hold from
mine. He opened his mouth to protest. I held my hand over it.

“
Nothing
can change the way I feel
about you,” I continued. “I know there was a time when you
were…were…,” I couldn’t say “evil,” not about him, “…one of them.
But that’s in the past. You are Tristan Knight now. You are my
sweet Tristan and nothing will change that. I love you forever. No
matter what. Understand?”

His eyes opened and searched mine, as if
trying to find something besides honesty.

“After all this time, if you can’t believe
that…,” I started. But he didn’t let me finish. His hands embraced
my face and his lips crushed against mine.

“I love you, too,
ma lykita
,” he said
after pulling back. “I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“You’re forgiven.” I kissed him again. “At
least…
I
forgive you. But, Tristan, somehow you need to find
within you the ability to forgive yourself. If you don’t, you’ll
never be able to completely let go of it all.”

His brows furrowed. “Easier said than
done.”

“You’ve asked God for forgiveness,
right?”

“Of course. It’s part of converting to
Amadis…but He’s more merciful than I am.” He obviously had enough
talk about his past, because he pressed his forehead against mine
and changed the subject to one of his favorites—my well-being. “How
do you feel?”

I turned and pressed against his side again.
My mouth stretched into a wide yawn. “Tired. Really tired.”

“That’s understandable. It’s been a long
day.” His hand stroked my hair. “You should sleep.”

“I want to, but I don’t think I can. Not
until I know she’s okay.”

“That could be a while.” He wrapped his arms
around me and gave me a squeeze. “You were great. So strong
already.”

I snorted. “I almost killed us all…or we all
almost killed each other…or something like that.”

“You held on for a long time, though. As long
as you needed to.”

“Barely. If Mom and Rina hadn’t shown
up…well, it’s a good thing they did. How did they get here so fast
anyway? Is it possible to flash off a plane?”

He chuckled. “Yes, but I’m sure they flashed
from New York. You fought it for a couple hours.”

My eyes opened wide. “A couple
hours
?
It didn’t feel so long.”

“You were in an alternate state of mind. I
think, by the end, we all were. I told you the process is
draining.” He yawned, too, as if to emphasize his point.

“That’s not even the entire process. She’s
not converted yet.”

“No. It takes a long time. First, you have to
remove the evil energy and the pain is excruciating. Rina and
Sophia are finishing it, but you started it. Next time you’ll be
strong enough to finish it, too.”

I shook my head. “There won’t be a next time.
I failed her and I’m never risking that again. I’ll leave it to Mom
and Rina from now on.”

His arms around me released their tight hold.
He lifted my chin with his fingers and caught my eyes with his.
“This is what you’re made to do,
ma lykita
. Protecting and
saving souls is your purpose for existence.”

His eyes held mine, conveying deep meaning to
his words. He raised his eyebrows, as if questioning whether I
understood. My own brows knit together. Because I didn’t
understand.

“I thought my purpose is to write these
stories for whatever it is the Amadis have planned. And to have a
daughter so the Amadis could continue. And to eventually lead
them.”

“Those are all part of your duties, part of
your purpose. But your true reason for being here is to save and
protect souls. There are only certain people who can convert
others. When you have your full powers, you will be one of
them.”