Pure Will (17 page)

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. Guys are dicks.”

My phone rang again. Kate. Will had called Kate, I had a feeling.

Ham jerked my phone away and pushed the answer button.

“She’s here with me Kate,” he said then looked at the screen. “Kate?” He shrugged. “I missed her. You should call her back.”

I took the phone back, nodded then fell backward on the sofa. I felt like the dumbest person in the world. Trusting so quickly. Believing in him. I covered my face when the tears came again. I WAS GOING TO TELL HIM I LOVED HIM!!! Ham lifted my head and slid beneath me.

“I could kick his ass.”

This induced a small chuckle from me.

“I just need time to think.”  There wasn’t much my father had taught me outside of baseball, but he did use to say, ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater.”  And this kept chanting through my mind. Trusting him ever again would be impossible. And to think his mother had just said that he wouldn’t cheat. Obviously she didn’t know him that well either!

Ham leaned down and kissed my forehead then slid out from under me.

“Want a beer while you think?” he asked.

I shook my head and curled up on my side, the ever-flowing tears refusing to cease. Being a ginger, my face was paler than most but I didn’t have the crazy freckles. What I did have…was a splotchy red face when I cried and there was absolutely nothing cute about it. My nose was completely plugged up and I couldn’t breathe. So I sat with my mouth open…

“Ham. Do you have a Kleenex?”

He left the room, and I bolted upright when someone nearly beat the door down. Ham came back in with wadded toilet paper and handed it to me.

“There better be a damn good reason someone is beating the shit out of my door!” Ham yelled stomping toward the door.

“Camden! Open the door! I know you’re in there!” Will shouted from the other side of the wood.

At the same time Ham reached for the knob, I frantically shook my head. “No Ham!” I forced into a loud whisper, wincing at how loud it was.

What the hell was he doing here?  How did he know where I was? I wasn’t prepared to see him yet. My face…OH MY GOD! My Face.

“She’s not here. Now leave us alone!” Ham yelled.

I stared at Ham with raised brows. A. I’m pretty sure Will heard me. B. Ham just said us! I covered my face with my hands.

“Open the door fucktard. You just said us. You clearly need a tutor. Now open the damn door.”

A look of confusion shot across Ham’s face. “What?” he asked looking at me. He hadn’t gotten the point of what Will said.  I was glad for that at least. Will was being mean.  I didn’t know a mean Will.

“Cam. I swear to God. You have three seconds or I’m ripping this door from its hinges.”

I exploded to my feet. Suddenly, I had no doubt that he would do it. Quickly I stole a glance at myself in a Miller Light mirrored wall hanging. SHIT! I literally resembled a severely sunburned albino.

“One!”

Ham held up his hand to me. “I’ll take care of this.”

“Two!”

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Ham opened the door. His body hid me from view.

“Get out of my way, Ham. My issue is not with you. Yet.”

Ham didn’t move.

“Since you’ve been sticking your dick in the wrong place, she doesn’t want you anymore.”

I heard Will growl…like literally; he sounded part animal. Oh dear God.

“Ham, the only place my dick has been is in your mother. Now get the fuck out of the way.”

It was at that moment that I darted between them. Ham trying to grab Will, and Will grabbing me crushing my body to his chest with only one arm. He effortlessly lifted me around my waist and began back-stepping from Ham.

“I’m sorry about the remark about your mother,” Will spoke. “I got what I came here for.”

I couldn’t see Ham because my cheek was flattened against Will’s chest.

“Will. I’ll tell you right now, I’m crazy about her. You get this one free ride for hurting her. There will never be another.”

“Indeed there won’t be,” Will said.

“I’m serious. Do you know what Ham stands for?”

Will was now a good distance down the hall because Ham was nearly shouting.

“It stands for Hard as a mother fucker! Remember that asshole.”

Will’s chest rumbled…with laughter. “Wouldn’t that be Hamf then?”

I pinched Will. “Don’t, you will confuse him,” I scolded coldly.

And as predicted, Ham said, “huh?” as the elevator dinged.

Chapter—Will

The minute the elevator door closed, I shoved her up against the wall of the cube and pressed my mouth to hers. The last 45 minutes had been run a close second to the worst of my life. I’m sure Kate’s mouth was still hanging wide open from when I bust through the door, jacked her phone and called Cam. Hearing Ham answer her phone shot me into full-on possessive, angry, raging, protective creeper mode.

She was refusing my kisses. I hated forcing myself, so I gently pecked her lips then drew back to look into her eyes and explain. But when I saw her swollen eyes and reddened nose, my heart crumpled into a million little pieces. The beat my heart found was completely out of whack, and it was as if the earth came off its axis.

Death would possibly be easier than the hurt reflected on her face. What had I done? I so so needed to tell her before now. I’d been neglectful. To be honest, I was hoping their paths would never cross.

She started to fight me…physically struggle with me.  There was no doubt I could easily restrain her but I wouldn’t. I’d even allow her to hit me.  I deserved it.  But she didn’t. She only wanted out of my arms, then walked from the elevator when it pinged and the door opened. I kept pace behind her.

It was a moonless night and pitch dark. By the time she reached her car, I think she realized she didn’t have her keys. That meant Hamf had them. In defeat, she lowered her head.  I grasped her hand and led her to my side of the truck. She got in without incident but moved clear across to the actual passenger seat. This wasn’t to my liking but I accepted it…for now. I’d never seen this side of her but I’d hurt her.

It was when we rounded the corner to my house that her mouth fell open, I’m sure in reaction to the truck that still sat in the driveway. I quickly reached for her hand, fearful that she may jump from the truck as if she were Jason Bourne.

Once I parked, I stared at her until she looked at me. Tears trickled over again, and I made a mental note to never forgive myself for what I’d done. I gently tugged her toward my door not chancing her getting out on her side.

“What’s her name?” she finally spoke.

I simply shook my head. “Tori.”

Inside, I held tight to her even though I could tell she was trying to free her hand, but the moment we rounded the corner to the living room where Tori sat on the sofa, her hand tightened causing my heart to expand beyond capacity. Tori stood and offered Cam a smile. 

“Cam. This is Tori.”

Cam grabbed on to my hand with both hands now.

“Hi,” Cam said.

“So nice to meet you,” Tori said.

We all sat.

“Tell me whatever it is you’re going to say,” Cam said. “Just say it.”

I nodded, holding on to her, then swallowed my fear.

“Tori was Matty’s girl. They were engaged when he left. After…Matty…was killed, well, we were all a mess.  It was right after the funeral. Had only been a few weeks. Tori and I…” God I was a pussy. I couldn’t say it.

“Will and I slept together,” Tori added and I shot her a scowl. I knew she was trying to help, but I needed to do this.

“That’s right. We slept together.”

Tears pooled again in Cam’s eyes.

“It’s been a year. It was a comfort thing. The hurt was inexplicable for both of us and we fucked up. We both still struggle with regards to Matty.”

Camden swallowed and spoke. “So it only happened that once?”

She knew the answer before I said it because she tightened her eyes to where the tears were forced out.

“Camden, it only happened twice,” I added quickly.

“Recently?” she asked softly with her chin quivering.

“No! A year ago.”

With her eyes still closed she whispered. “Can we talk about this privately?”

Instantly, I stood and motioned for Tori to go. “Absolutely. I only asked Tori to stay because I didn’t want there to be a question in your mind. Tori. I need you to go.”

Tori nodded. “OK.”  Then she turned and touched Camden’s shoulder. Camden stiffened.

“Cam. Will has told me so much about you. I belonged with Matty, not Will. Will belongs with you. But I’ve met someone and I really like him and I’m scared. I’m scared of trampling on Matty’s memory. I’m scared of forgetting…” her voice trailed off.

Camden turned to her and touched her hand, tears bit at my eyes.

Tori continued. “I never want to forget. I loved him so much. But every day truly does get easier. At times I appreciate that and others I hate it and myself. Will reminds me who Matty was. He reminds me of the little things that made me smile. He reminds me that Matty would want me to move on and be happy.”

They both cried and I quickly batted my tears away as the woman I loved hugged the woman Matty had cherished.

Tori stared up at me and nodded her approval of Camden. And truth be told, it mattered little what she thought, but I was glad and wondered if someday, they might be friends.

After I walked Tori out, thanked her and shut the garage door, I found Cam blowing her nose in the bathroom. I leaned against the doorframe and stared at her.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a hoarse voice.

Without thinking, I whisked her off her feet, carried her straight to the living room and sat with her covering my lap in the recliner. I wanted to take her straight to my bed and fuck some damn sense into this girl.  What was she not getting? At this very second my entire world was resting on my left leg. She nuzzled her head beneath my chin.

“Don’t apologize. Just know what you walked in on was a simple hug. She was hurting. There is nothing between us but friendship. I swear to you.”

She nodded. “When I saw the truck, I thought it was a guy.”

“That was Matty’s truck.”

My arms wound around her like a python squeezing its kill. I couldn’t get her close enough. There was only one way I could get her closer. But I had to hold off.

“How often do you talk to her?”

“Not very often.” I fingered through her hair. “Once every couple of months. Camden, it really was a huge mistake. The guilt over what I had done with Matty’s girl was impossible to bear. I was truly a mess. Then that threw me deeper into the dark. I’ve been a mess for a while. She and I were both broken. But you…you were like a snow scraper cleaning off my windshield. Things aren’t clouded anymore. I can see. And I see exactly what I want. You’re my clarity…my anchor. You make me want to be the best Will I can be.”

I lifted her chin so I could see her eyes. Tears again.  Was this a hormonal thing?

“Baaaby...don’t cry please.”

“These are happy tears,” she smiled with swollen eyes.

I brushed a soft kiss over her forehead.

“If that’s the case then I’ll really scare you when I tell you that though I’m not a very religious man, when Matty was taken from us, I was angry at God. Pissed. I cursed up at him many times. But right now, I truly believe that when he made you, he could have stamped on your ass at birth ‘Made for Will Denton.’”

She smiled.

“And the things that have happened to us, whether good or bad, only prepared us for this moment. Those things in our life brought us here. If your mother hadn’t died, maybe you would be going to A&M. If Matty hadn’t died, who knows where I’d be. If the dickhead hadn’t taken advantage of you, who knows who you might have met and fallen in love with. But all those things happened and here we are together. That’s fate. That’s love.”

Once that last word came out, I swallowed, wishing for a moment I could take it back. I’d never told anyone outside my family that I loved them and that was damn near close. Her rounded eyes found mine and she stared up at me. I don’t think either of us was breathing. I wasn’t ready for I love you! It had been two months. People don’t fall in love in two months! Fuck…who was I kidding? I was lying to myself. I loved her with every piece of me. And tonight, I was going to make her mine in every way possible. Wholly and completely. Rather than clarify what I meant with that L word, I decided to show her and mashed my mouth to hers.

After carrying her into the bedroom, she literally hung in my arms like a rag doll.  Maybe this wouldn’t happen tonight. With my spiel about everything happening for a reason, it was important that I got this right. With one arm holding her, I used my other to pull the bed down and shove off the pillows; then I laid her down. I nestled in beside her and she smiled.

“This is it, isn’t it? You’re going to be with me? I can see it in your eyes,” she whispered.

“Yes,” I answered. “This is it. As long as you want me too. I don’t want to wait another second.”

She took my shirt in her hands and began pulling it upward.  I think she just RSVP’d to my invitation.

“Sit up, and lift your arms.”

She did, and I gently raised her shirt over her head, disposing it on the floor next to the bed. I unfastened her bra and released her breasts. First off was a hug, feeling her skin against my skin caused my breath to catch. Then I laid her back and lay next to her. With the backs of my hands, I glided over her breast, all the while watching her face. Her mouth formed a little O and she sucked in a breath. I tried not to get distracted thinking about her mouth and what it could suck. So, I kissed her as my hands massaged her breasts, paying special attention to the nipples because that’s what made her gasp. I left her mouth for a moment so that I could say hello to her breasts personally. And when I did, her neck arched slightly in unison with her back allowing me total access to her breasts. I hardened every time she whimpered at my touch. At this rate, I was going to blow in about 30 seconds. But, I guaran-damn-tee-ya, it will be the best 30 seconds of her life…and mine.