Pure Illusion (21 page)

“You
know,” he whispers as his fingers still move tenderly inside of me, “it’s hard
to believe you when you’re drenched for me.”

Ashamed
of myself and of his vulgar words that only make me wetter, I screw my eyes
shut. “Fuck me if you’re going to fuck me. Conversing with your fingers inside
of me is not my favorite pastime.”

He
presses his full lips to the shell of my ear.
“Could have
fooled me.
We have to work on that smart mouth of yours.”

I
shudder and without warning his fingers are replaced with his massive erection
that thrusts savagely in and out, threatening to split me in two. My eyelids
spring open. Hunter clamps a heavy hand on my mouth, muffling my hysterical
scream, moan. “I’m big, but you can take me,” he whispers, kissing my tears
away. He places sweet salty kisses on the corner of my eyes and mouth and then
finally my lips when he removes his hand. My breath comes in small pants as I
stare into Hunter’s eyes that are dilated beyond belief, so much so that the
black leaks into the darkening blue. I vaguely wonder if mine are the same, if
I look as wild and untamed as Hunter does.

We
stare into one another’s eyes for infinite about of time. I don’t know or
understand what we are both feeling…but it just seems like a monumental moment
in our lives—a moment that neither of us will ever forget. I’ve waited for him
for so long now, but I didn’t imagine our first time to be as brutal as this,
not to mention on the wall in his bedroom in his parents’ house. My candy and
flower fantasy of Hunter was ridiculous and laughable compared to this harsh
reality. But nothing could have ever prepared me for Hunter.

My
body loosens and accepts his. Moaning, I wrap my legs around his gyrating hips
and my fingers find their way into his beautiful hair.

God,
he has the softest hair.

He
grunts, cupping my ass and hitching my legs higher. Hunter briefly closes his
eyes and rests his forehead on mine. “I knew you’d feel like fucking velvet, so
fucking tight and wet. Your pussy tasted like honey in my damn mouth. I’ve
never had better, Isabel.” He tips his head down and looks where we meet.
“Never ever had better.”

“Hunter,”
I whimper, holding on to him with everything I have. My internal muscles
tremble and clench around him.

His
kisses me, his tongue plunges into my mouth, collecting my moans and whimpers.
We both climax together, shaking and clinging to one another’s body. “I love
you,” I breathe.

Hunter’s
handsome face contorts as if he smells something foul. He swiftly pulls out of
me, leaving me with an odd and empty sensation. He tucks himself back in his
pants and gives me an once-over. My back is plastered to the wall and Naya’s
pretty white dress is wrinkled and bunched at my hips. Everything from the
waist down is exposed to him.

His
fingers trace the wet source of our arousal between my legs. Hunter brings his
forefinger and thumb to his face to inspect his fingers. “You’re bleeding. Did
I hurt you that badly?”

“Yes,”
I say below a whisper, my cheeks flaming red. “I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want
this.”

His
brows lift. “But you didn’t say ‘stop.’”

“I
shouldn’t have to. Hunter, do you not understand that ‘no’ means ‘no’?” I
counter.

We
eye each other until his face softens. “What’s done is done.” To my absolute
horror he licks the light red tinge of blood from his fingers, spreading the
flavor of me on his lips. “I can clean you up if that would make you feel
better.”

My
stomach flutters but I fight against it. “I don’t want you wiping between my
legs. Give me a damn washcloth. I can handle this just fine on my own.”

He
smiles at me, only a tiny curve of his lips. It’s a small secretive smile,
intended just for me.  It’s just like the one his mother had when she saw
him. “I don’t mean clean you up with a washcloth, my sweet.”

“What?”

“I
wanna use my mouth.”

“No!”
I shriek.

“But
I think you’ll like it,” he urges, inching closer to me.

“No.
Stop. Stop. Stop,” I frantically plead.

He
halts from his stalking, grinning smugly.
“Fine.
Don’t
wash me out just yet. You’re coming home with me tonight.” I watch Hunter turn
and unlock the door. My eyes sweep around his room. Nothing has changed much:
Football trophies and awards on shelves.
Plain, black walls.
A full-sized bed with tiny stars on the sheets and pillows.
A wooden desk that appears untouched since high school, overflowing with old
reports. But what really stands out is the pictures tacked on the ceiling above
his bed—they’re all of me.

Betrayed & Safeguarded

The
long ride to Hunter’s place is quiet. Neither of us is willing to break the
ice. But unlike Hunter, I actually have a valid reason to be upset—I told him I
loved him yet again and he ignored me as if I hadn’t confessed it at all, when,
in fact, he told me to tell him. He took what he wanted from me and I let him.
I am nothing more than a pleasure vessel to him. Whether it’s fucking with my
mind with his twisted games or just fucking my body, I am always and solely
here for his enjoyment and amusement.

What
do I get in return?

The pleasure of his company?

How
pathetic.

I
deserve more, much more than what Hunter can offer me.

I’m
starting to think Hunter is much more beautiful and perfect and dreamy from
afar; I can’t see all the things that make him hideous that way.

 Once
there, I slam his truck door and run up to his house, though I can’t run at the
best of my ability because my joints feel like they’re slightly unhinged from
their sockets because of Hunter fucking me to the best of his ability.

The
door is unlocked as I turn the knob and step inside the dark space without
waiting on Hunter. The kitchen glows softly, illuminating a portion of the
living room. A piano I never noticed before sits directly across the bay
window. Aromas of delicious vanilla, cinnamon, chocolate, and sweet frosting
fills the air. It smells amazing in here, like a warm bakery shop.

Kicking
off Naya’s leather boots, I sprint up the stairs and into his room. I need to
take a hot shower and wash every trace of Hunter from my body. We didn’t use
protection, but I am (thankfully) on birth control. I should talk to Hunter about
this and get checked out. The last time I went to Dr. Marvin (which was two
months ago), I had a clean bill of health. Who knows how many women Hunter has
slept
with.
I’m not sure if he uses condoms with Candy
either.
If he gives me a STD or worse that will be the end of
me.

I
feel like a foolish, silly, stupid girl…

A
silhouette beneath Hunter’s bed sheets brings me from my head. As I inch
closer, I realize that it’s Candy. Her lustrous red hair fanned across the pale
pillows. Her pretty eyes closed in sleep and her pouty lips slightly open.

Candy
is sleeping in Hunter’s bed…
naked
.

God
help me!

The
only thing keeping me from screaming the house down is Hunter pressing his hard
chest into my back. He wraps his arms around my belly and gives me a tight squeeze.
His lips move to my ear to whisper, “I can’t lie to you. It is exactly what it
looks like. She crashes here after we do what we do. You sleep in my bed and
I’ll take the couch.”

Is
he insane?

“You
must be out of your mind if you think I’m going to sleep in your bed with
Candy,” I say just as quietly.

“I’m
telling you this now. I can tie you up and gag you—kicking and screaming. Or
you can lie down like the good little girl you are. But either way, you
will
sleep in my bed. Do I make myself clear?”

“‘Do
I make myself clear?’ Who are you, my father?”I scoff.

“Isabel,”
he warns quietly.

I
struggle in his iron-like grasp, frantically banging my fists on his thick
arms. “Let me go, Hunter. I need to shower and you…you…she…I. I need a shower.”
My mind is so scrambled that I can’t even articulate myself correctly.

I
feel him nod against my neck as he releases me from his grip. I wander into the
bathroom and quietly close to the door. Absentmindedly, I remove the flower
pins from my hair, undo the braid, toss off Naya’s clothing and turn on the
shower, steeping into a hot steam cloud of scolding water.

Staring
down at my toes, I watch the stream run down my body, a tint of red makes the
clarity of the water murky. With utter numbness, my eyes dart to the cloudy
water swirling down the metal drain.

When
he brought me home with him, he promised me he would take care of me. Hunter
Knight has yet to fulfill that promise. I don’t think he ever will. The years
of misery and heartache come back in flashes with sudden vengeance: the
undeniable attraction we had for one another since when we first met.
Our amazing chemistry and friendship in our adolescent years.
The pure agony of the first time he told me goodbye.
The
cutting.
The numbness.
The
loneliness.

Grabbing
a soap bar, I vigorously scrub between my legs. I am very sore there and it
does sting, but that doesn’t keep me from rubbing away the dirtiness and grit
of it all. I need to be clean and free of Hunter. He’s destroyed me. The heated
tile floor comes into contact with my knees and I double over, crying and
holding my middle as the warm rain cascades on me. I lean my forehead against
the fogged glass shower and silently weep from my despair.

The
shower door slides open and Hunter steps in. The masculine scent of his body
envelopes me in a thick veil. He kneels behind me and throws his arms around my
torso, pressing his wet, bare chest into my back.

“I’m
sorry,” he whispers into my hair. “I didn’t hurt you intentionally. We both
don’t seem to harmonize the way we want or should. Don’t give up on me, Isabel.
It might not look like it to you, but I am trying. I’m trying to become a
better person—a person you deserve. The boy you loved so long ago has vanished.
He lives no longer. You can’t begin to grasp the shit I’ve been through. You
can’t understand the crushing misery I harbor deep within in myself. I’d
fucking die for you. I’d die numerous agonized deaths just to see your tears
cease.” He kisses my back and shoulders. Despite my disposition in this
situation, my stupid heart flutters. The fact that I love Hunter so
unconditionally and, to be honest, irrationally
makes
me despise myself for it. I wish I can just flip my humanity switch off and be
frozen inside. But he makes it impossible.

“What
happened to the boy I would once give my heart for?” I whisper barely audible.

He
nuzzles my earlobe with his nose. “His heart got ripped from his chest and he
died.”

The
rest of our shower is quiet. He washes me with deep concentration, and I watch
him without a word of protest do the task. Returning the favor, I wash his
stunning hair and magnificent body. His intense gaze never wavers from my eyes
as I do it. I wonder what he’s thinking.

After,
we towel dry one another’s hair. I slip on one of Hunter’s large shirts. It
swallows me completely. He dresses in loose pajama bottoms, leaving his defined
chest bare. He tilts his head to the bed. “You should sleep now. We can talk
more in the morning.”

Pouting,
I shake my head. “You have two extra rooms here. Why do I have to sleep with
Candy?”

A
mischievous smile curves his lips. “I just need you to. Please do it for me.
Let’s not fight over this.”

I
glance at a sleeping Candy and shrug. I’m too exhausted to argue with him. I
mean, we’re only sleeping.

What
can it harm?

“You’re
in the middle then,” I whisper, poking his chest.

His
wicked smile broadens and he gives a courtly bow. “It’ll be my pleasure, my
sweet.”

I
climb into bed behind Hunter. He rests his long body on his back and he stares
at the ceiling, his arms propped under his head. I turn my back to him and rest
on my side, gazing out the window. I never imagined that Candy would be on the
right of him naked and I’d be on left of him…almost naked. But I never imagined
someone throwing me off a cliff either. I still haven’t told anyone that
someone is trying to kill me and about GreenFrog. I don’t understand why
someone would want me dead.

I
don’t know anything…

Hunter’s
big hands shoot out and grip my hips, pulling me across the mattress and
pressing my behind to his hard-on. The heat of him warms me through the thin
fabric of his pants. He gives me a slight thrust and my breath hitches.

Hunter
chuckles darkly. “Knowing you have nothing underneath my shirt makes me want to
fuck you again. I wouldn’t rush this time.”

His
fingers dig into my thighs, dragging up the hem of the shirt. I slap his hands
away, but they settle around me. “Not happening. This is a definite
no
.
Ever heard of ‘no means no’?”

“You’re
no fun,” he teases.

I
shrug dismissively. “Plus I’m so sore. I can hardly walk as it is.”

Hunter
laughs freely into my hair. It’s a nice sound to hear.

I
try my best to elbow him in the ribs. He swiftly pins my arms down before I can
land a good blow. “I wish I wasn’t so weak so I could kick your ass.”

“You’re
wrong,” he murmurs seductively into my ear, “you kick my ass every day.” He
holds both my wrists in one strong hand that he confines to my stomach. His
free hand moves to my unclothed ass as he roughly cups it.

I
gasp and shudder.

“It
makes me happy I got the unbelievable opportunity to spank your ass. Christ, I
can still feel the sting in my palms. Your heated skin under the care of my
hands felt fucking great, but being buried deep inside you feels even better.”
He pauses a heartbeat before he declares, “One day, I want us to fall asleep
with me still inside of you.”

“It’s
all I’ve ever dreamed about,” I say, sarcasm bleeding into my tone.

He
savagely pinches my nipple before I can do anything about it.

“Hunter,” I half grunt, half moan.
My body bucks
against him when he squeezes it and then finally releasing.

“I’m
right here,
baby
. I told you, we have to work on that
smart mouth of yours, didn’t I?”

I
attempt to stifle my smile. “Are you going to talk me to death or can I go to
sleep now?”

“Sleep,
my sweet, sleep.” He kisses the back of my neck, his heavy arms still circling
my middle.

Needing
to fulfill a deep longing within me, I tilt my head to the side and slant my
mouth to kiss his bicep. He tenses immediately and his arms spasms around me,
crushing me. “I’ve missed you,” he confesses quietly.

“Hunter,
I can’t breathe. You’re crushing my ribs.”

He
loosens his hold on me only a little, it’s enough for me to breathe but not do
anything else, like move. “I’m trying to do better. But without you here, I
can’t do better.” He lays his forehead on the back of my neck, exhaling slowly.
“It only gets better with you.”

My
heart hurts and throat is constricted and dry. I clamp my eyes shut, my hands
moving on top of his. I interlock our fingers. “I am only better with you.” The
words spew out without permission.

Hunter’s
frame relaxes against the length of me. “Just so you know,” I whisper, staring
at the full moon outside the large glass windows, “I still love the boy I
adored and he is still very much alive.”

“How
do you know?”

“He
found me when no one else did,” I murmur, my eyes stinging with unshed tears.
“Thank you.”

Hunter
doesn’t respond. After a while I feel his weight settle like so many times
before and I know he’s asleep. I shift in his arms that never release me and
look up to inspect his face. It’s not as flawless up-close. Dark purple bags
are prominent under his eyes. Fine, tiny white scars are scattered among the
corners of temples and cheekbones, from fighting no doubt. His nose appears to
be broken a couple times over. But he’s still pretty incredible to me.

His
warm breath softly washes over my face. My eyes dart to his kissable mouth
that’s slightly open. God, does Hunter look vulnerable in sleep…like a wounded
boy I once knew. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me; somewhere inside my
brain, something has to be wired incorrectly. Someone tried to kill me today
and, yet, I can’t stop infatuating over Hunter Knight.

I
know he’s the same person that cruelly cut me out of his life.

I
understand he’s the same sadistic person that enjoys toying with my mind and
body.

I
comprehend he’s the same person that has me in his arms while another woman
sleeps peacefully behind him…in the
nude
.

But
through it all, I am completely aware that Hunter is the same person that
lifted me from the ashes of that dreadful tub and brought me back to life and,
for that, I will always be grateful.

I
will forever be appreciative.

I
will forever be in his debt.

At
the end of the night I fall asleep with a silly smile on my face, knowing that
he has never had better than me.