Pulse: Sport Romance (The Boys of Winter Book 6) (12 page)

A
fter an exhausting week
, I’m sick. Drew fussed over me on the plane, and now I’m in my town car, trying to keep the contents of my stomach down until I get home. I had hoped it was something I’d eaten or a twenty-four-hour bug, but I’m on my second day, and I suspect I’ve got the flu.

My forehead is damp with moisture as I climb out of the car with Reggie’s help. It’s a warm summer evening, but I shiver with my fever. He says, “Let me walk you to the door.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m going to go lie down, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course. I’ll set your things inside.”

“Thank you.” My legs ache, and it hurts for me to move as I make my way in the house. A light is on in the kitchen, and I wonder if Nick fell asleep on the couch. It’s early evening, and he should have heard me arrive. I start in that direction but don’t make it before I have to race to the bathroom to vomit.

Ceramic tile is cold under my bottom as I lean against the wall to wait for the nausea to pass. I can’t possibly have anything else left to come up, but my stomach refuses to accept it.
I hear you, body.
I’m convinced it’s telling me to take better care of myself. The hours I’ve been keeping aren’t healthy, and I recall how I vowed to make a change in Europe. But after that one afternoon in Paris, I didn’t.

When my belly feels reasonably stable, I make my way to the kitchen for water. I glance at the couch and don’t see Nick. But I do notice a white envelope on the counter. The paper is smooth in my fingers as I lift it and discover my name on the front. My throat tightens because it’s Nick’s handwriting.

My hands shake as I open it, and it’s what I feared. Nick left early because he thought it would be easier on both of us. A gasp comes from me, and I crumple to the floor, clutching the note in my hand. It’s too much, and I lay my cheek on the smooth wood as tears flow.

When I begin to shake again from cold, I force myself to get up and medicate. I don’t bother going upstairs but curl up on the couch for the night. Somehow I manage to sleep and wake to the early-morning sun rising over the ocean.

I sit up and am weak from dehydration and hunger. But my fever is gone, and I feel better than I have in days. I pad slowly over to the refrigerator for juice. Nick’s letter is on the floor, and after I pour myself a drink, I bend down to pick it up. The paper rustles as I smooth it out on the counter. While I had expected to see him before he left, this is easier. I recall how painful the days were when I thought I was leaving him in Colorado. I get why he left, and a part of me is actually relieved.

Sugary citrus races to my bloodstream as I drink my juice. I glance out at the entryway and at the large box that contains Nick’s bike. The shop in Italy packaged it for the flight, and I had envisioned Nick’s capable fingers piecing it together for his first ride. I smile, imagining how much joy it will bring him, even if I don’t get to watch.

When I’m done with my drink, I go find my purse and locate my phone. The camera clicks as I take a picture of the box to send to Nick. I text it, and then I follow up with words.

I brought you a surprise from Italy. It’s custom, so you have to accept it. I’ll ship it to the Bike Shop for you.

I don’t expect an answer right away, because he’s probably driving through Ohio about now, so I’m surprised when my phone buzzes almost instantly.

You’ll be shocked to know I made a bathroom stop fifteen minutes into my trip. Can I guess what’s in the box?

Sure. I hope you got a snack. It’s the rule.

Nick sends a picture of himself taking a bite of a jelly donut, and it makes me chuckle.

He texts again.
Sorry I left before you came back. It hurt too much to stay.

I understand.

He doesn’t text back right away. I think he might be driving again, so I make my way to the kitchen. I grab a product proposal and barely get past the Bellae logo before a reply lights up my screen.
Are there wheels in that box?

Yes.
Of course he would recognize a bike box.

How did you know?

I have my ways. Remember the good times when you’re on it, okay?
My eyes burn with moisture, and I let the tears fall.

All my memories of us are good. I’ll always love you.

Same.
My phone snaps off, and I set it down as my heart aches for the man I thought was forever. My tears splatter on my proposal, and I swipe them away as more fall.

A
fter a hot bath
and a breakfast of eggs and toast, I feel human again. I had already arranged to take today off when I was sick, and I use the time to formulate a plan to regain my health. I decide I can go into the office each day in exercise gear and bring my clothes since I have a shower in my office bathroom. Eating well isn’t hard, because I only have to tell Krissy, and she’ll take care of it. The difficult part will be working fewer hours.

Alex can’t take on anything else, and I wonder if I should hire someone. Then it hits me. Drew. He already does more than an assistant would and can easily slide into the job if I hire someone new to do the mundane tasks.

I call Alex, and she picks up right away to say, “Are you alive?”

“Barely, but I’m feeling much better today. Miss me?”

“Of course.”

“I need to see you. Would you come out to the house and have dinner with me?”

“Sure. What’s this about?”

“I have an idea for an advertising campaign, and I want your input. I also want to talk to you about promoting Drew. I need to slow down and take care of myself.”

“I think that’s a good idea. I can be there by four to avoid traffic.”

“Perfect. Oh.” I sing the next words. “I got you a present.”

Alex squeals and says, “See you soon.”

I grin as I end the call, because I got her a piece of sexy lingerie from each country to share with her new guy.

I spend the morning outlining my advertising idea, and after a leisurely lunch on the deck and a short walk on the beach, I devote the afternoon to designating the tasks that I’ll pass on to Drew. I’m napping when Alex arrives.

I rub sleep out of my eyes as I sit up to greet her. She says, “What’s with the box in the hall?”

“It’s a custom bike for Nick. But he left before I got home, so I need to ship it.”

Alex sits next to me and puts her arm around my shoulder. “You okay?”

“I will be. But let’s not talk about it.” I get up and walk over to the table where I set all her presents. There are six in all, and the edges dig into my arms as I carry the pile to Alex. “Here.”

“Oh my gosh. I get a lot of presents. Yay.”

I watch as she opens them, and we make suggestive comments until we laugh. I think about Nick and how I never wore lingerie for him. He probably would have liked it, but I think he still would have preferred simply naked. My sister gushes on about her boyfriend, and I smile as I half listen. I wonder how I’ll manage being excited about a new man someday, and if I’ll compare him to Nick.

Alex stops the boyfriend talk to get down to business. She says, “Show me your new campaign ideas, and let me poke some holes.”

I smile at my sister and take a moment to be grateful for the people in my life. Because even though I just lost my greatest love, I am loved. And that tells me I’m going to be okay.

W
ith my arms
stretched over my head, I flex my stomach and glance in the mirror. A hint of abs are showing, and it makes me grin.
I’m back.
Four months after I came back from Europe, and I’m fit again, get enough sleep most nights, and am eating better.

Promoting Drew was a fantastic decision, and he’s even better at this than I expected. I wiggle into my skirt as I run over the day’s events in my head. My first meeting is with marketing for our final Natural Girl launch campaign, slated to debut next week. It’s been a long time coming, but it’s going to be huge.

I begin my light makeup routine. Ever since my Paris encounter with the press went worldwide, I decided to save the full face of makeup for formal events. Tinted moisturizer is silky on my fingers as I apply it to my cheeks. Even Alex is on board with wearing our new line most days.

I slide my feet into low heels and take a final look at my appearance. For some reason, Nick’s voice sounds in my head.
Turn ’em right.
I whisper, “And left.” A small pang of pain flickers in my heart, and I take a deep breath. I imagine he’s enjoying the winter, and I wonder how much snow Breckenridge has.

I step out of my bathroom to Drew pacing the room as he speaks on the phone. “Fabulous. Thank you.”

His grin covers his face as he turns to me. “Press release afterward if we approve the campaign.”

I smile back. “You just wave your magic wand, and the press dances.”

He raises his eyebrows at me. “I can be quite charming.”

I glance over at my assistant, Rachelle. She has a huge crush on Drew, and even though he’s made it clear he would never do a workplace romance, it doesn’t stop him from taunting her. “Yes, you can,” I say.

We head toward my door, and Alex pops her head in. “Ready?”

I nod and take in her appearance when we get to the hall. She still favors sky-high heels, but her accessories and makeup are age appropriate and let her youth shine. I’ve even got her working out a few days a week, which is saying a lot, considering her idea of exercise for the past few years has been hailing a cab.

We enter the conference room, and I immediately notice the large images placed over the permanent ones. They are the magazine ads. Each one has a different caption, with the model wearing makeup that fits. The catchword is larger than the rest, and they read “Fun, Flirty, Functional, Formal, Fashionista, Fit.” I scan the room to take them in and say, “Fantastic.”

A couple people get my attempt at a joke and laugh politely. I smile. “Nobody ever called me a comedian. But I do love these.”

We move on to the television ads, and Alex and Drew are just as pleased as I am, judging by the comments they make. Bright lights flicker on, and I blink. “I think this is a go. Alex? Drew?”

Alex says, “Yes. This is very exciting.”

“I agree. It’s a big day for Bellae,” says Drew.

“Nice work, everyone. I’m proud to have you on my team.”

Rachelle takes my elbow and speaks quietly to me. The girl seems to have been born with the ability to be my invisible sidekick, because I forgot she was in the room. “The press are gathering already. Should I tell them fifteen minutes?”

“Yes. Thanks.”

I smile at Drew and Alex. “It’s almost show time. I’m going to go freshen up.”

We make our way to the large conference room used for events. A stage is set up for me, and cameras flash the moment I enter through a side door. The hum of conversation stops, and my steps seem unusually loud when I climb onto the platform. I used to be completely unnerved by the attention focused on me this way. But today my stomach is calm, and I smile with ease before I make my speech.

The questions aren’t hostile these days, either. I’ve hit a hot issue for young women, and the press likes the direction I’m taking Bellae. When the business questions are done and I’m about to leave the stage, I recognize one of my biggest critics’ voice as she yells, “Megan! Why don’t you have a man in your life?”

I freeze in place, and she adds, “Your ski bum left you months ago.”

I fight the flush of anger rising in me and take a long, slow breath. I should ignore her, but the press will turn it into more than I want it to be. I turn with a smile. “Andrea, my personal life has never been a topic for discussion. Please remember that.”

The moment I exit the room, I huff. Drew takes my elbow to walk me to the elevator. He says, “Don’t worry, only Alex and I knew you were mad.”

“I know. I’m fine.” But I’m not. The truth is I’m not even close to being ready to date again. It’s a bit pathetic, but I love Nick as much today as I did four months ago. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to move on.

Alex is on my other side, and she hugs my shoulders in support. I welcome her touch and snuggle into the warmth. I do need to find a way to get over Nick, though. I miss having someone to comfort me when I need it. I miss sharing things with someone I love, and I don’t want to spend my life wishing for the one I can never have.

We return to my office to celebrate, and I force myself to leave the state of my love life hidden away. After one glass of champagne, Alex leaves us. It’s Friday night, and she has a date. I decide to send Rachelle home for the weekend too, considering I plan to be done for the day.

Drew sits down on the couch next to me with the champagne. He tops off our glasses and sets the empty bottle down on the table with a clatter. “I can’t wait to see the reactions tomorrow.”

“Let’s hope they’re good. We could bomb.” I lift my glass and take a sip of my drink. The flavor is sweet with a tart finish, and I sigh in pleasure.

“I don’t think so. The press loves your honesty.” Drew reaches over and tucks my hair behind my ear. His hand stays for a moment, and he stares at me. His voice is soft when he asks, “Come sail with me tomorrow night? I was thinking we could stare at the stars and dream big like we used to.”

I gaze into his blue eyes. I know he still has a thing for me, and it would be easy to pick up where we left off. Right now he’s my closest friend, other than my sister.
Could I manage to rekindle romantic feelings?
“I’d love to. Why don’t I get Trina to make us a picnic for dinner?”

“Great.” Drew downs the last bit of his champagne and stands. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“I’ll be ready.”

The door clicks shut behind him as he leaves, and I lift my glass to watch tiny bubbles climb up the sides.
Dreams.
What are my dreams now that I’ve changed the direction of Bellae and set us on a course that will pump new life into the company?

Nick’s face comes to mind again, and I let myself imagine his killer smile that could melt snow with its charm. And the way it melted me. I wonder how he is and if Stacy managed to win him over yet. My heart feels as if it’s being squeezed when I picture the two of them together, and I shove the thought away.

I take another sip of my drink and let it sit on my tongue. The bubbles burn a bit, and I wish they could mask the pain over losing Nick, because I’m still helplessly in love with him. I swipe away the tear that managed to escape. There’s no use going down that path again. Nick and I live in two different worlds now. I down my champagne and stand to get ready to leave. Time to move on with my life.

A
briny aroma
seeps into my nose, and it’s so strong I taste it as Drew and I clomp down the dock to the steward’s boat, which will ferry us to his Hinckley. It’s low tide, and I gaze out over the mud flats, where a man is digging for clams. My stomach growls as I think about Trina’s chowder in the pack Drew is carrying. It makes me remember Nick’s first night here. I glance at the ring on my finger and then quickly away. I really have to stop doing this to myself.

I switch the jackets I’m holding to my other arm as Drew reaches out a hand to help me on the motorboat. The odor of gasoline and exhaust is heavy in the air, and I’m reminded why I prefer sailing. The young girl who’s driving is sunburned, and I’m tempted to give her my bottle of sunscreen and lecture her on the dangers of skin cancer. I refrain.

When we get to Drew’s boat, the two of us go through the ritual of preparing to sail and are out on open water in time for the sunset. I stand next to him as he steers, and wind blows through my hair and roars softly in my ears. I say, “I love this so much.”

“Me too. It’s such a feeling of freedom.” We don’t speak for a while before he says, “The usual?”

I nod. He’s taking us toward Gardiners Island, where we’ll drop the anchor and float for the night. The sun is the tiniest sliver of light, and darkness is settling in, but tonight the moon is full, and we’ll be in a protected cove that will keep us safe.

When I was a kid, I used to imagine living on a sailboat would be heaven. At the time, my excursions were limited to sailing camp, and it wasn’t until I met Drew that I spent enough time on a big boat to know how hard it would actually be. Even so, I do enjoy sleeping on the ocean.

When we drop anchor, I go to the galley to get what we need for our picnic. I hand things up to Drew, and he says, “Grab my bag please.”

His backpack is heavy, and I grunt as I lift it. “What’s in here?”

He lifts it easily from my hands. “A little something to set the mood for dreams.”

I come up the stairs with the wine opener and two goblets. Drew has already opened his pack and is removing white candles enclosed in clear plastic hurricane lamps.

“Nice,” I say as he sets them out, and the flash of sulfur wafts up my nose when he strikes a match. The result is a warm glow of yellow bathing us.

I remove our meal and hand Drew the wine. Trina packed us two small thermal containers of chowder that we can also use as bowls. The cooler scrapes on the slip-resistant deck surface as I pull it over to be our makeshift dinner table. I set the rest of the food on it.

Drew hands me a glass of wine and asks, “Who needs fancy restaurants?”

Water lapping at the sides of the boat as we rock gently creates a soothing environment. One that has me in the mood to ponder deep thoughts. I reinvented myself in the last six months, and I need to talk things out to figure out what that means.

I say, “It really is beautiful.” I set my glass down and break off a piece of blueberry muffin. I hold it as I speak. “Talk to me about your dreams. Do you see yourself still working for me in five years?”

A saltine cracker crumbles as Drew breaks it to put in his soup. “Five years feels like a lifetime right now. You know I love working at Bellae, but I’m ambitious and want more than being a VP. I want to be the CEO.”

I grin at him. “That’s a bit lofty at our age, don’t you think?”

He smiles back and lifts his wine glass. “True, I don’t have a company to inherit.”

“You don’t need one. You’ve got your own family money.” Drew has a trust fund that probably doubles my assets. But you’d never know by how hard he works. I say, “I know you set high goals for yourself. It’s part of why you’re so good. I’ll keep your need for more power in mind and do what I can to keep you around. Alex and I need your logical perspective as a male”—I pause for effect—“who doesn’t wear makeup.”

I get the snort I was going for, and he asks, “Do you think Alex will stay? Knowing she’ll always work for you?”

“Yes. And you’ve seen our relationship. She works with me more than for me. Really, my title is more in name than anything else.”

“That’s true, and I appreciate you bringing me into the Donavan-sister fold.”

We’re silent for a while, and I gaze up at the sky. The full moon is bright, but it can’t disguise the glittering stars. Drew asks, “What about you? Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“Good question.” I came back with the intention of paying my dues and getting the hell out of Dodge to return to skiing. But I didn’t expect to like my new job. If only I could have both. I catch myself twisting my ring, and it makes me think about Nick and how I used to imagine him as the father of my children in my fantasies.

I say, “I’d like to be in a place where I can start a family.” I swirl my spoon around in my soup, searching for a clam. “But finding a husband is one of those things you can’t plan to happen. It sort of happens to you.”

Drew’s voice is soft when he says, “Yes, it does.”

His eyes shine in the light, and the candle’s glow makes his facial features strong with shadows. I recall how Nick said he didn’t fit in my world. My heart aches missing him, and I realize I’m lonely. Drew does fit in my world. Could I fall for a man like Drew? I set my soup down with a thud and reach for his hand. “Tell me I’m going to get what I want. Tell me that someday I’ll find a man I want to marry, and that it’s going to be okay.”

Drew stands and tugs me up to join him. “Come with me.”

We walk to the bow of the boat, and he sits to dangle his legs over the side. I join him, and the metal rail is cold under my arms as I rest them on it. He nudges me, and I lean against his warm body as he puts his arm around my shoulders. He lifts my chin with his fingers and whispers, “Kiss me.”

I stare into his eyes. Drew would be so easy. While he’s not Nick, we could be happy. I lean toward him, and our mouths join. His lips are soft, and he nibbles at me the way I remember. It’s like riding a bike in its ease, and we deepen the connection. But the flutter in my stomach isn’t there. And Drew doesn’t exhibit the same passion I recall.

I break away and shake my head. “There’s no spark.”

“Nope. I think my memory of us was much better.” His teeth gleam in the moonlight as he smiles. “Mind if I pretend that didn’t happen?”

I chuckle and say, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

We turn to look out at the ocean. Fractured bits of white from the moon reflect back at us, and he asks, “Remember the day last spring when we went swimming even though the water was too cold?”

I smile at the memory of Nick flailing before he hit the water. “I do.”

“You knew it was going to be freezing, and you jumped in anyway. Because what you wanted was more important than the fact that it wasn’t going to be easy to stay warm.”