Pulse (Collide) (26 page)

In the darkness, she sank onto the mattress, her gaze catching the shadows dancing across the ceiling. She slid her hand across her stomach, realizing the enormity of the torture to come. Day in and day out of not knowing whose child she was carrying would surely crack her. Emily found herself on a road she didn’t think she would cross so soon in her life. Definitely not under these circumstances. However, she needed to believe there was a reason this was happening. Continuing to cry, she fought hard to find that reason, but she couldn’t. It didn’t appear. As seconds blurred into minutes and minutes disappeared into hours, the only thing she knew she had to find was the missing piece of her heart that’d walked out the room a broken man. Without another thought, she stood, plucked a light jacket from her suitcase, and rushed into the hall. Brushing her tears away, Emily rounded the corner, running right into her sister.

Lisa reached out and steadied Emily by her shoulders. “Jesus, are you okay? I was just coming to check on you. I figured I’d give you some time to yourself.”

Breathing frantically, Emily shook her head and hurried into the kitchen. Lisa followed. Assuming Gavin had taken off in the car he’d bought her, Emily swiped Lisa’s keys from a hook on the wall next to the refrigerator.

“Where are you going?” Lisa asked.

“I have to find him,” Emily breathed, making her way toward the garage.

“He never left.”

Lisa’s words stopped Emily in her tracks. She whipped around. “What?”

“I mean, he didn’t drive away. I think he took a walk down by the pier.”

Emily’s heart stilled for a moment as she replaced the keys on the hook. But that only lasted for a second because as she turned, her heart rate picked back up as she approached the French doors off the side of the den. Swimming in a sea of hurt, she swung them open and stepped out into the cool night air. Shivering from a breeze skirting off the ocean, Emily threw on her jacket and started up a hill, just beyond her sister’s home, leading to weathered wooden stairs.

It didn’t take her long to spot Gavin, and when she did, her breath caught. As Lisa thought, he was sitting on a bench down by the pier, the ambient glow from a dockside light shining above his body. He looked like an angel, but she knew he was in hell. Overlooking the ocean and the man she loved, tiny beads of sweat formed along her forehead. With the wind blowing through her hair, Emily brought her hands up to her mouth and sucked in a breath, trying to find the courage she needed to go to him. Somewhere between remembering what they had been together and what they were always meant to be, Emily found that courage. Up until now, Gavin might’ve only represented a small part of her past, but she needed him to fill every second, minute, and hour of her future, and she wasn’t about to let him go for anything. She couldn’t. She refused.

Gripping the rusty metal railing, she slowly started down the stairs, her pulse fluttering with each step she took. By the time she made it to the sand, Gavin stood from the bench, catching her gaze. In an instant, Emily froze, her breath faltering. As the waves kicked up, pounding against the pier, she watched Gavin make his way toward her. He shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes locking on hers as he stopped a few feet away. Even with distance separating them, Emily could feel his heart burning through her, felt the undeniable connection they shared.

“I love you, Emily Cooper.” He paused, looked at the ground, then back to her. “I think I loved you before I knew you existed.” His voice was so soft, Emily could barely hear him. He stepped closer and brought his hand to her cheek, his touch gentle as his blue eyes caressed hers. “I’m pretty sure you were in my dreams before you walked into my life. I felt it the first time I saw you. You pulled at me. Took hold of my heart and never let go. Even if you had, I wouldn’t have let you. I wouldn’t have been able to. Something about you was… familiar, and it scared the shit out of me, but I knew somehow we needed one another. I’ve never been a man who believed in any type of fate. I considered it fluffy bullshit women read in romance novels, but sitting down here for the last couple of hours, I started thinking about you and me. Our romance. Our novel.” Once again he paused, his head tilted as he wiped away a tear that’d trickled down her cheek. “Did you know I was supposed to go on that trip to Ohio with Trevor when you were in school?”

“I did,” she whispered. Though her nerves started to calm, she wasn’t sure if this was his goodbye. “Olivia told me.”

“Right.” Stepping closer, he wrapped his arm around her waist and brushed his lips against hers. “You were never supposed to be with Dillon. You were always supposed to wind up with me, but fate interrupted us for a while. This baby may not be mine, but it’s a piece of something I need in my life. Something I’ll cherish even after I’m long gone. I wasn’t kidding when I said the good, the bad, and the in between. This is just our… in between right now.” A small cry escaped Emily’s lips, and God, Gavin’s heart broke. Melted. “Standing here before you tonight, I give you my word as a man, as your friend, and as your lover, if this baby isn’t mine, I’ll love it
no less
than I do the angel carrying it. I can’t tell you I’m not scared because that would be a lie, and I promised you I’d never lie to you. I’m scared to death, and I know you are too. So, Miss Cooper, if you’ll forgive me for acting like an asshole by leaving you alone while I got my head on straight, the next few months, you and I are going to be absolutely scared to fucking death together. No matter what, we’ll figure it out. Sound like a deal?”

Body warm and breath stolen, Emily nodded and pulled him down to her mouth. She’d stepped out of her sister’s home swimming in a sea of hurt and confusion. But now, as she stood on this beautiful Christmas night kissing the man who would stay by her side through anything, she was drowning in a sea of relief so deep, words couldn’t even begin to describe it.

The New Year had come and gone, bringing with it a mountain of emotions for Emily. As she sat in her doctor’s office, holding Gavin’s hand, Emily couldn’t help but wonder what it was like for her mother when she’d found out she was pregnant with her. Given her father started showing signs of abuse somewhat late in their marriage, Emily’s mother never hid the fact that Emily was an unplanned pregnancy. Her intentions were to leave Emily’s father shortly before she found out she was having another baby with him. Nonetheless, she always told Emily she was the greatest surprise of her life. That simple statement rang loud in Emily’s ears as the receptionist called her up to the window to fill out paperwork.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Gavin asked as she rose from her chair.

Emily shook her head, trying to ignore her full bladder that’d just screamed out in pain. “No, I’m good. It’ll just take a second.”

Gavin nodded.

After reaching for her purse, Emily made her way to the window. While waiting for the blonde, bobbed-hair girl to finish up a call she’d taken, Emily glanced around the small office at the other couples waiting to be seen. Emily wondered if any of them were in the same situation as her and Gavin. From their smiles, she highly doubted it. On a sigh, she rummaged through her purse, plucking out her insurance card and license.

“Sorry about that. It was my boyfriend,” the receptionist squeaked, sliding a clipboard through the window. “If nothing’s changed, you can just sign at the bottom, and Dr. Richards will be with you shortly.”

“I have a new insurance carrier, and my home address has changed.” Emily handed her the card and license. After snapping her gum, the girl rolled her eyes, flipped her hair, and turned to go make copies. Emily shook her head at the obvious lack of professionalism. When the girl finally returned, she slipped them back through the window, and Emily filled in the necessary sections on the form. Afterward, she sat next to Gavin, feeling as though she was about to burst.

“You don’t look so hot,” Gavin whispered, his lips turned down. “Do I need to make a scene in here if they don’t let you pee within the next two minutes? You know I can deliver.”

Trying not to giggle because she knew it’d be the end of her bladder, Emily laced her fingers through his. “Oh, I know you can.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “But I’m okay. At least for another few minutes.”

Gavin smiled and brushed his thumb along the top of her hand. “You’re in dire need of my twenty questions game.” Emily looked at him as though he’d sprouted a new head. “I’m serious. It’ll help take your mind off this whole non-urination thing. I go first.”

Emily frowned, nudging his arm. “You always get to go first.”

“That’s because I invented it, sweets.” Grinning, Gavin stared into her eyes. “Silk or lace?”

Emily lifted a brow. “That’s a question I should be asking you.”

“Nope.” Gavin leaned in closer, his lips grazing her ear. “My game. My rules. Now answer the question. Silk… or… lace?”

Emily pulled in a breath, his husky tone instantly making her forget her bladder issue. “I… like… silk.”

Gavin smirked. “Nice answer. Can’t beat Emily Cooper in silk.” He leaned back, sliding his arm over her shoulder. “Stone or brick?”

“Hey.” Emily nudged his arm again. “It’s my turn. And how do you go from silk or lace to stone or brick?”

“My game. My rules, so I decided to change the rules and go again.” He smiled at her pouting lips and leaned into her ear once more. He nipped it and held it between his teeth, loving the way he could feel her shudder. “Don’t worry about how I go from one subject to the next. Just answer the question. Stone… or… brick?”

Emily puffed out a breath, convinced he’d spent years studying the art of driving women to the brink of losing control in public. Full bladder a distant memory, Emily brought her gaze to his, her ear desperately missing his teeth. “Stone,” she said slowly. Now she’d play his game, knowing she could drive him as physically crazy as he did her. “I like anything…
hard
.” Gavin’s eyes honed in on her lips, so she puckered them, feeling high as she watched his pupils dilate with lust. Oh yes, she had him. “Not that brick isn’t…
hard
, but if I’m not mistaken, and I could be, so forgive me if so, but isn’t stone…
harder… much… harder
than brick?”

Gavin flicked his gaze from her lips to her eyes, a smirk spreading across his face. “I know what you’re doing.”

“Oh, do you?” Deadpanned, Emily stared at her nails, trying for disinterest. “Am I doing it well?”

“Very,” Gavin whispered, leaning closer. “And if you keep doing it this well, we’re about to leave so I can show you how well
I
can do it. But I won’t hold any punches, Miss Cooper. I’ll be relentless, only stopping once you beg me to.”

Emily smiled and puckered her lips again. “Do you like when I beg?”

“Is that your question for the game?” Gavin’s gaze drifted from her saucy eyes to her lips. Damn her. She was getting good at this shit. “You only get one. Choose wisely.”

“Yes, that’s my question for the game.” Emily sighed and crossed her legs. “Now answer the question, Mr. Blake. Do. You. Like. When. I. Beg?”

With the answer on the tip of his tongue, which he wished was gliding along Emily’s body, the receptionist opened the door and called Emily’s name.

Emily giggled as she watched Gavin stand and adjust his pants. Unable to help it, she giggled all the way into the back office.

After turning on a sonogram machine, flipping off the lights, and draping an exam sheet over a less-than-comfortable-looking table, Unprofessional Hair-flipper turned to Emily. “I need you to unzip your jeans, pull them down just below your pubic bone, and lay down for me.”

Taking a seat next to the table, Gavin lifted a brow, a slow smirk curling his lips as he watched Emily do as she was told. “This might turn out to be a little more entertaining than I anticipated. My
stone
is very
hard
right now.”

Emily’s eyes landed on the girl, who was blushing a deep shade of crimson, as she hopped onto the table. Shimmying in an effort to get comfortable, Emily looked at Gavin and belted out a laugh. “Leave it to you to continue getting sexual in a doctor’s office after you
lost
at your own game.”

Gavin shrugged. “The game will resume once we leave, and I never claimed to have limits when it comes to women who love stone over brick.”

Wide-eyed and staring at Gavin, the unnamed blonde cleared her throat. “Dr. Richards will be right in.” She hurried out of the darkened office.

Smiling, Emily shook her head. “You scared her off.”

Gavin leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. “I turned her on.”

“Oh my God. Could you be a little more conceited?”

Another casual shrug. “I call it self-assured.”

Emily rolled her yes. “You also said you weren’t a stalker, and now look at us.”

“You’ve rendered me speechless, and that doesn’t happen all too often.” Gavin chuckled. “I couldn’t conjure a comeback if I wanted.”

Emily grinned, and a moment later, the doctor breezed through the door, his tall, lengthy build towering over Emily as he approached. Clipboard in hand, he slid his glasses up the bridge of his nose and looked at Emily, the wrinkles under his eyes pulling together as he smiled “Good to see you again, Miss Cooper.”