PUCKED Up (31 page)

“
It wasn’t just Sunny. Bunnies galore, which is the bigger problem. That other picture you took at the clinic went up on your feed. Sunny’s Doppelganger posted it every damn place, and my shorts are the same in both pics, obviously. That’s how Violet knew it was me, and everyone else too.”

“
I’m sorry, man.” Randy looks horrified. “Is Waters shitting a brick? Do you need me to talk to him? Explain what happened? I’ll talk to Sunny for you.”

He means it. Which is why I can’t stay mad at him for long. He wouldn’t have posted the picture if he’d known it was going to mess things up.

“
What’s done is done,” I tell him, checking the GPS to make sure we’re still on track. “So there’s a change of plans. I’m not going to Chapleau anymore.”

“
I messed things up that bad for you?”

“
Sunny’s at her brother’s cottage, not all the way in BF Nowhere, so that saves me seven hours of driving.”

“
So what’s the deal? You still gonna drop me at the hotel?” He checks the time. “I should be able to check in. I’ve gotta kick around until tomorrow for that charity car wash I’m supposed to go to.”

“
Cancel the reservation; you don’t need it. Waters’ cottage isn’t all that far from here. You can come with me, but that means dealing with Lily and the khaki twins.”

“
I’m in. I’m looking forward to the entertainment. Will you come with me tomorrow afternoon now? We could wash this kickass rental.”

“
I should be able to. I want to talk to the guy who runs it. After this week I want to get started on that project I’ve been talking about.” Other than Vi, my dad, and my PA, Randy’s the only person I’ve talked to about setting up a fundraiser.

Randy pats me on the shoulder. “I think that’s a great plan. Whatever help you want, I’m in.”

***

We make a quick stop on the way to Waters’ cottage in a tiny town called Bracebridge. The only store I can find is Walmart. I pick up a six-pack of briefs. They’re red. I’m not a big fan of wearing them, but they do a good job of containing my boys and reducing the friction like Nurse Debbie said they would. The swelling has gone down since this morning. I’ve got small apples instead of grapefruits.

In under an hour, we’re there. Waters’ cottage isn’t really a cottage. It’s two stories of stained cedar and massive windows with a wraparound deck. The landscaping is better than at my parents’. Huge pines and birch trees rise up around the house, sheltering it from the neighbors. The camping trailer is parked in front of a three-car garage. There’s music coming from inside. I take a peek in one of the windows. Lily’s boyfriend is passed out. He’s shirtless. And Violet thinks I’m hairy. I’ve got nothing on this guy. He has tufts on his shoulders.

“
I’mma pretend I’mma bear and scare the piss out of him,” Randy whispers.

“
They’re probably his distant relatives.”

He grabs the door handle, but I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Later. I wanna find Sunny first.”

Randy shrugs and follows me down the driveway to the deck. From where I’m standing I can see all the way to the lake. Patch McBushman is sitting on the edge of the dock with his feet in the water. I hope one of those fishing spiders climbs into his shorts and bites him on his tiny dick.

I find Sunny around the other side of the deck, lying in a hammock. She’s in the bikini I love. The top is untied, the straps tucked into the cups so she doesn’t get unnecessary tan lines. She’s fast asleep, her soft lips parted. The bridge of her nose is pink from too much sun. She has scratches on her arms, scabs on her knees, and a load of bug bites, along with a number of purple spots on her shins. I don’t like all the bumps and bruises. She looks innocent, vulnerable. But right now I’m not so sure that’s the truth. My frustration over the past week merges with an unsettling need to touch her.

Randy elbows me. “I’m gonna go inside and find a bathroom.”

I nod and crouch beside Sunny. I’m still upset, but seeing her does something to me. Especially after spending a week with a kid who’s life is up in the air. I run the tip of my finger across her blond lashes. She shakes her head and bats at her face.

“
Sunny Sunshine, wake up.”

She hums, but doesn’t move otherwise.

I trace the contour of her jaw with my fingertip, moving down the side of her neck to her throat and over her collarbone. The sound that comes out of her is more moan than a hum. Her eyes flutter, and she blinks against the sun. Surprise crosses her delicate features. It’s followed by recognition, relief, and then wariness.

Despite the final emotion, Sunny reaches up and strokes my beard. I haven’t shaved since I left for the camp, so it’s grown in over the week. “You’re here.”

“
I am.”

She licks her lips, eyes roaming over my face. “I’m glad.”

“
Me, too.”

“
I was upset with you last night,” she says sleepily.

I nod. “I could tell. But I didn’t have anything to do with the pictures that went viral.”

“
Always with the explanations.” She’s still stroking my beard. Her fingers drift over my lips.

“
I thought you’d want to know what happened. Maybe hear my side of things.”

“
I did. I do.”

I take her hand in mine and play with her fingers, just so I can touch her. Her nails, usually filed into curves, are ragged and chipped. “I didn’t like seeing you cry and not being able to do anything about it.”

“
I was really drunk.”

“
I didn’t like that either. I also didn’t like that you were stuck in a men’s bathroom, hiding from Bushm—Kale. Or all the pictures of you he posted this week. When did you get here?”

She stares at my chin when she answers. “Around eight this morning. Apparently I insisted we drive here, and Lily is fed up with Benji, so here we are. I think she drove the whole way. I don’t know where she is.”

“
Probably inside, I’m guessing.” Or it’s a full moon and she’s changed into a werebear.

“
Probably.” Sunny cups the back of my neck and tries to pull me down.

When I’m an inch from her lips, I resist. “We should talk.”

“
We should.” Her voice is soft, almost breathless.

I don’t want to say what I’m about to, but I liked what we had before sex and orgasms became part of the equation. It felt like a real relationship. “Before we start making out.”

“
I disagree. We should kiss first, then talk.”

“
Why’s that?”

“
Because I missed you this week, and you promised you’d make me feel better when I saw you.”

She clearly remembers our conversation from last night, which is a surprise. “And you think a kiss is going to make you feel better?”

She searches my face. “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

When her tongue peeks out to wet her bottom lip I give in. I brush my lips over hers. Her grip tightens on the back of my neck. Sunny sucks on my bottom lip, then slips her tongue inside my mouth. There’s aggression and something hot and needy simmering below the surface. My rational side takes a back seat to the horny side.

I’d like to get her naked right now, but Bushman’s within earshot. Randy and Lily aren’t all that far away, inside the cottage. And talking still takes precedence over taking our clothes off. I settle for deepening the kiss.

A shriek comes from somewhere in the cottage. Sunny sits up with a start, ending what we just got started. Her bikini top falls, her boobs popping out as the sliding door opens and Randy comes tripping out onto the deck. His hands are over his head likes he’s protecting himself.

Lily skids to a halt behind him. She’s wielding one of those toilet paper holder stands. Three rolls flutter in the breeze, the paper unraveling behind her. She’s wearing a towel with shoulder straps. Her legs are covered in shaving lotion.

“
Someone just tried to—”

She stops when she sees me. I’m cupping Sunny’s bare boobs so Randy doesn’t get a look at them.

“
This pervert must be one of your friends!” She jabs the toilet paper holder in my direction and then swings it toward Randy.

“
I was looking for a bathroom, honey.”

“
Don’t honey me, you, you—he tried to . . . he was going to . . .”

His eyebrows lift, along with the corners of his mouth. “What exactly do you think I was trying to do, sweetheart?”

Lily is shaking and brandishing the toilet paper holder like it’s a sword. She seems to be having trouble with words. And her face is bright red. It’s the most flustered I’ve ever seen her. Sunny pulls the cups of her bathing suit up over my hands. I give her boobs one last courtesy squeeze before I let them go.

“
I was in the middle of shaving my legs! You burst into the bathroom. I’m naked under this towel!”

“
Oh, I’m well aware of what’s going on under that towel.” Randy smirks. “If you’d locked the door maybe I wouldn’t have gotten a front-row seat to the beaver show.”

“
You—I—you’re disgusting!” As she spins around, the two sides of the towel fly open, giving everyone another shot of beaver.

“
I like the natural look,” Randy says.

She flips the bird over her shoulder as she storms away. “My waxer’s been sick.”

“
I’m happy to help out, if you want,” Randy calls after her.

“
You’re an asshole.” The screen door slams shut.

“
So . . . I guess you met Lily.” Sunny swings her legs over the edge of the hammock and uses my shoulders as a brace to stand. “She’s not usually like that. She and Benji broke up last night. Again. For the fourth time on this trip, so she’s in a bit of a mood.”

“
Is that the guy sleeping in the trailer out front?” Randy asks, staring at the screen door. He takes off his hat and spins it on his finger. That’s his contemplation move. It means he’s sizing up the competition and coming up with a plan of attack. I wish him luck. Lily’s vagina probably has teeth—like Jaws.

“
Mm-hmm.” Sunny runs her fingers absently through my hair. “He’s been in there since we got here.”

I catch movement in my peripheral vision. Glancing toward the lake, I see Bushman. He’s standing on the end of the dock with one hand shading his eyes from the sun, looking up at us. I stand, skimming Sunny’s sides with my fingertips, enjoying her shiver. “We should find a place to talk so we can sort through this.”

“
Okay.” Her hands are still on my shoulders. One slips behind my neck, and she stands up on the balls of her feet to pull me in for another kiss. I shouldn’t let it happen since I’m still questioning a lot of her motives, but Bushman heads for the stairs, so I let her have what she wants.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

MOTHERPUCKING FAIL

Bushman comes storming up the stairs, his skinny legs almost buckling under his non-existent upper body. Okay, he’s not that skinny, but I’m a big guy, so he looks tiny in comparison. Or that’s how I want to see him, since he tried to mack on my girl. I still need the details so I can determine whether or not I’m going to dick-punch him.

Sunny sighs. “Here we go. He’s about to have a hissy fit.”

“
I thought only girls under the age of twelve threw those.”

“
And Kale. It’s one of the many reasons I broke up with him.” She takes a small step away from me. “I don’t think he expected you to be here.”

“
Is it a problem that I am?” I don’t like that she’s put distance between us. It tells me things her words don’t, like that his feelings matter to her.

“
No. Of course not.” She laces her fingers through mine. “It’s . . . complicated.”

I hate that word. I’ve spent my entire life managing complicated bullshit. School was complicated. My mother’s death was complicated. My career makes this attempted relationship complicated.

“
Uh, you could avoid him if you go inside and find a room to hide in,” Randy suggests.

I’d forgotten he was on the deck with us.

“
Seriously. Go. I can deal with his scrawny ass.” He cracks his knuckles and grins. “It should be fun.”

Sunny grabs my hand. I follow her inside, through a huge living room with vaulted ceilings and a massive stone fireplace that burns real wood. We pass the kitchen. On the table is a centerpiece that looks a lot like a giant dick. She pauses briefly at the front door and shoves her feet into a pair of Birks before we head back outside. We pass the trailer and go right, through a narrow gap in the trees, onto a path.

“
Where are we going?” What I really want to know is why we’re avoiding Bushman and not telling those hipster douches to take their trailer and GTFO.