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Authors: Tara Brown

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“So we didn’t kill each other.” I nudge
her.

She glances over, flashing a grin. “No.
We used our big people manners and everything.” Her smile dies. “And we got
very uncomfortable. I hope you won’t tell anyone what I told you. I haven’t
even said those things to Nat.”

“I’ll keep your secrets with my own.” I
don’t tell her I hate who she is to the world. “I like the quietly vulnerable
side of you.” I try to keep it positive.

Her eyes widen. “I don’t know about
quiet. I’ve never talked this much, not even to Linda.”

“Who’s Linda?”

“My shrink. She’s rooting for you.” She giggles
and takes the first step, hurrying like she wants to get away from the
conversation. Halfway up she turns back with her lips parted like she might say
something, but her eyes narrow. “Are you staring at my ass?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

“Really? I thought we just made a pleasant
friendship down there, and you’re degrading it?”

“Yes.” I smile wide. “It’s a nice ass. It
pairs nicely with that wine and our new friendship.”

“No.” She glares and turns back around to
take the stairs. I continue to stare at her ass as she climbs.

“Still a great ass.”

Her answer comes over her shoulder as
double middle fingers followed by a subject change, “No one ever sleeps in
here. I hope the bedding isn’t stale and the bed isn’t shit.” She takes me to
the obvious guest room, opening it for me. It resembles a suite in a fine
hotel.

“I sleep in different hotels so many times
a month that I forget what my bed feels like. Trust me, this will be fine even
if it’s shit. I’m used to it.” I step to her, brushing my abs against hers. I
savor the feel of her chest pressing against my stomach. “Thanks for dinner.”

“Thanks for dessert. It was delicious and
I’m going to get that recipe for the chef.”

I reach up and tuck a curl behind her
ear. “I like you.
The real you.
Not the shell. I like
who you are when no one else is here.”

Her lips part and her eyes shine but she
says nothing.

“Goodnight, Sami.”

“Goodnight.” She swallows hard and steps
back. She’s so pretty I can barely take it.

She turns and walks down the hall and I
can’t help but say one more thing, “Where’s your room?”

“Why?” She glances back and scowls.

“In case I decide I can’t stay away.”

“But we just got to the friendship zone.
Why ruin it with sex?” She flashes me that smile, the one that makes my stomach
tighten. I swear
,
staring at her lips hits me in the
dick every time.

“We can do both.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to come find
me.”

“I might.”

“Maybe I’ll be ready for you, Beast.” She
saunters off with a wave. “Have a good sleep.” There’s extra swagger in her
hips as she rounds the corner.

I almost follow her but the throbbing in
my nose suggests I won’t keep up with the promises I’m making myself.

It’s hard to close the door and get ready
for bed. It’s harder to get into the bed. I want to be charming in the pursuit
of her but I’m in agony. Kissing was such a mistake.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Chapter Sixteen

Methy Christmas

 

Sami

 

When I was a kid sleeping in on Christmas
was impossible. I would lie awake and wonder what Santa had brought Nat. Her
gifts were never as expensive as mine but they were more personal. She got
things like a telescope or a keyboard. They were fun. When my parents told me
about Santa it made so much sense. He’d always given me expensive gifts,
whereas Nat always got cool things.

But even after they told me, I continued
to be excited about Christmas. I was still pretty young when my parents spent
their first Christmas away. That was when I stopped caring so much.

But because Nat grew up this way, her
gift giving is also thoughtful. One year she gave me a painting she did
herself. It was digital art that had taken her six months to perfect. It didn’t
cost anything but time.

My parents never gave gifts like that.
They paid to relinquish themselves of having to spend the time. My mom used a
personal shopper. She didn’t even buy my presents.

That was when I learned the value of
someone’s time over the value of a dollar.

Time last night with Matt was amazing.

I regret everything I said, not because I
was my usual ass self, but because I gave everything of myself away. He makes
me uncomfortably naked without taking a stitch of clothing off, and I have
never been more proud of myself.

I couldn’t sleep because of it all, tossing
and turning all night, and when I did finally sleep, the dreams weren’t the
sort you walked away from.

I wake in the morning wanting more of
Matt.
A lot more.

At seven in the morning, I throw in the
towel and get up, flinging on my robe over pajamas, and
saunter
down
the stairs.

His gift is already under the tree. I put
it there the day after he asked me to have Christmas Eve dinner with him. I had
the gift flown over the moment I knew we’d be spending Christmas together.

The thought of that stops me on the
stairs.

After everything we’ve discussed, I can
admit it.

I like him. I more than like him. I want
to see the normal side of his family and date him and be
me
around him because he’s comfortable now, like Nat.

Nat!

It’s finally my turn to wake her up on
Christmas morning.

I grab my phone and call her, hoping
she’s not awake. This can be my gift from her.

“Hello?” she groans into the phone.

“Merry Christmas.” A smile spreads across
my lips as I sit on the stairs and wait for it.

“Why are you calling so early? It’s still
dark out.”

“Get up and go see your gift.” She is the
person who taught me that giving is better than receiving. Watching or even
listening to her get a gift is the best.

“No. Sami, it’s like seven in the
morning, on a holiday. Are you just getting home from your date with that Matt
guy?” The smile on her lips is obvious when she speaks.

“Nadia! She told you?” I gasp.

“It was my Christmas present from her.”
She giggles.

“You’re a dick!” I’m so relieved she
knows I can’t even be angry.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you were sad, I didn’t want to
rub my possible happiness in your face.”

“You better stop, Sami Ford, or people
will see you’re not the evil little princess you try so hard to be.”

“Shut up. I’m still an evil princess.”

“I guess so, since you’ve gotten creative
this time, girl.” She stretches and yawns and makes me wish I were there so we
could
slumber-party
gossip about it.

“Creative with what?”

“Ways to piss your dad off.”

“This isn’t like that. I don’t want
anyone to know about this until we figure out what we are to each other. I slipped
the staff an extra five grand for Christmas to ensure discretion.”

“You don’t think Daddy Dearest suspected
you might do that and offered them ten grand to spy?” She moans. “My gift to
you is a warning: he knows. They’re telling him everything, I guarantee it.”

“That’s all you got me?” I pout. My dad
likely did do that. At least the staff got an extra fifteen thousand dollars.

“No. Go look under the tree, there’s
something else. I’ll throw on my robe and go look at mine.”

“Hurry up!” I stand and walk downstairs
to the tree we left on after dinner.

There’s something magical about a lit
tree on Christmas morning with presents underneath. Even though the presents
are few and far between.
One from Nadia, one from Vincenzo,
one from Nat, one from Carson, and a card from my parents.
The rest of
them are for friends who I’ll see during the holidays and a few family friend
ones I have yet to deliver with my winning Ford family smile. The tiny package
for Matt stands out. Nadia wrapped all the gifts for my friends with expertise
I don’t have, so the fact I wrapped his shows.

Grabbing Nat’s gift, I am lost on the
contents of the box. It weighs a ton for the size. “Are you in the living room
yet?” I ask impatiently.

“No. God! I barely have my robe on. I
need some speed to catch up to you.”

“Hurry up!”

“Good morning.” Nadia strolls into the
room with a large mug as I listen to Nat grumbling about her house. Nadia
smiles wide. “Merry Christmas, Sami.” It’s so much better since she dropped the
“miss.” It only took a year of me forcing my name on her.

“Merry Christmas, Nadia!” I jump up and
give her a hug as she sets the mug down. Her hug is wooden but her smile is warm.
I quickly hand her the gift I got for her. She opens it and beams at the Chanel
purse. I’ve seen her eyeing up mine tons. “You shouldn’t have. This is too
expensive.”

“I’m glad you like it. But look inside.”

“There’s more?” She scowls and opens it.
Her jaw drops and tears fill her eyes. “No!”

“Yes!” And there it is, the reason for
the season. I love Christmas like a giant fucking cheeseball and this is why I
love seeing this exact look on someone’s face.

Her lip trembles as she lifts the ticket
to France with the full itinerary of destinations and prepaid hotel rooms and
tours.

“You are a very naughty girl.”

“You were so bummed when you couldn’t go
to France last year.”

“Thank you.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“You’re still a bad girl.” She wipes her
eyes and exhales one quick breath. “Anyway, Mr. Brimley stayed the night?” She
cocks a dark eyebrow, her eyes still glistening.

“He did.”

“Interesting.” She grins, clutching the
new purse, and leaves the room. “I’ll tell Cecilia we have an extra guest.”

“Thanks,” I say to Nadia but continue to
listen intently into the phone for the moment Nat has her gift. I lift the mug
of coffee, catching the hint of Baileys in my first sip. Our tradition since I
turned fifteen.

“Okay, I have it. Why’s it so light?
Jesus, did you just give me cash this year?”

“You’re an ass. I’m opening mine now.” I
tear into the package she placed under my tree at some point in the last couple
of weeks since we decorated it.

A wide smile spreads across my face as I
see the very thing I have always wanted: a glass chess and checkers set done in
pale pink and light turquoise. “Oh my God, where did you get this?”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it!” She is the only person in
the world who knows me. “It’s perfect. Did you get someone to make it?” I lift
the tiny pieces and inspect the carving and note it looks like it’s made from
sea glass.

“Yeah, this guy at my school carves with
glass and makes it look like sea glass. He frosts it and rounds the edges. He
makes the
awesomest
wind chimes. When I saw them I asked
if he made other stuff and he said he could create anything. So I got him to
make it.” She sounds so proud.

“Best gift ever, Nat. I need a hug after
this one. Can’t you just come out? I’ll send the helicopter. We could play a
couple of games of checkers.”

“No, crazy pants. I have to have dinner
with the herd. I can’t believe you won’t be here.
And because
of a boy.
I am shocked.
You and Brimstone.
I’ve
only suspected forever.

“I wonder why they call him that?” I
change the subject.

“I don’t know.” She laughs. “I’m opening
mine now.” The paper tears delicately as the tape is slowly pried away. She
always unwraps like she might reuse it. It’s annoying. “Oh my God, Sami! What
the shit?”

“What?”

“This is way too much, for God’s sake.”
She protests but the excitement is in her voice when she lifts the invitation
into the air. “A Lumineers private concert? Are you kidding me right now?”

“No.” I need to see her face. “Switching
to Facetime.” I press it and wait for the connection.

She holds the invitation up, beaming.
“You’re a shit. Why can’t you give normal gifts?”

“This is a normal gift.”

“No, normal is a scarf or a sweater or a
chess set—”

“Anyway,” I cut her off with a groan. “I
talked to their manager and he says they won’t be touring for another couple of
years. So I arranged a little something. Apparently, the band has always sort
of dreamed of playing at the
Musikverein in Vienna because of acoustics. So I got them the
hall and arranged for the stage and sound to be handled if they just show up.
They’ll meet us there on New Year’s. I’ve sent out private invites to a
thousand of our closest friends, and the band had to be allowed to invite a
hundred people, which I said was cool. So now it’s all arranged. We’re all
staying at the Hotel Imperial. It’s right next door to the Musikverein, and
they have the best butler service in all of Vienna.”

“You mean the most discreet butler
service.” She rolls her eyes.

“That too.”

“I actually thought I had you beat this
year.” She sighs and stares at the gift. “But this is a top-notch gift. Not
only do you have the money to pull off big gifts, you also have the connections
to make the impossible happen. But the most important part of a perfect gift is
the heart. And believe it or not, Sami Ford, you have the heart. Thank you.”

Blinking away the tears that are
forming, I wave my hand. “It’s not nearly as good as yours. And it’s a selfish
gift. I wanna see the Lumineers too.” I smile. “The chess and checkers set
is
perfect. I really love it.”

“I know you do. We’re both incredibly
thoughtful.” She sighs. “Now tell me about the important stuff like Brimstone
and how this happened and why you kept it secret for so long.”

“No. Maybe another time.”

“I can’t believe he slept over in
another room. Are you guys saving it for marriage?”

“Seriously! How good are your
connections in this house?” I turn and glare at the doorway even though no one
is there. I don’t want her to see my face. She’ll see through the lies and know
we’ve already done it. And I can’t tell her that part; she’ll hate him. And as
odd as it is, I don’t want her to.

“I have the whole house bugged. Come
for dinner.”

“I can’t. I promised him we’d hang out.
It’s confusing enough just being the two of us.”

“Have you eaten a PB&J with him
yet?”

“No.” I feign looking shocked. “I only
do that with you.”

“Whatever, we’ll see. It’ll be midnight
and you’ll be jonesing, and he’ll find you with the spoon in the pantry,
licking peanut butter from it.”

We both laugh.

“Do you want a coffee, Mr. Brimley?”
Nadia says his name pointedly.

“Yes, please. Black.” His voice makes
my back straighten.

Nat winces and I nod. “I’ll talk to you
later.”

“Right. Merry Christmas, Brimstone!”
She sniggers and the connection dies.

“Merry Christmas.” He smiles, looking
much better than the night before. The bruising and swelling are down a lot. He
almost looks like himself, but tired maybe.
With cuts.
And a bit of a drug problem.
Like
those meth before-and-after photos.
Okay, he looks bad but at least he’s
on the better side of bad.

“Hi.” I hold up the phone. “How long
were you there?”

“PB&J?” He glances at Nadia.
“Thanks.” He takes the coffee in the fancy little mug and sits. It’s funny to
see it in his huge hands.

“Merry Christmas,” I offer as I sip my
coffee too.

“I didn’t take you as an early morning
Christmas girl. I figured we’d be noon or better.”

“No,” I lie. Nadia tilts her head,
mocking me for a second before vanishing from the room.

“So from the stairs I thought I heard
you talk about New Year’s. What are you doing?” He sips his coffee.

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