P.S. I Like You (24 page)

She flipped back another page. Like she was reading a picture book to a classroom full of kindergartners, she held it up for all to see again. A sketch of a halfway finished skirt.

I stood. And just as I moved toward her bag, the classroom door swung open and Mr. Mendoza walked in.

“Ladies,” he said, “I’m sure there is a perfectly justifiable reason why you’re out of your seats. But I don’t care. One more day each.”

I could see on Sasha’s face that she wasn’t going to give me back my book. She was already walking to her seat, flipping another page.

“She stole my book,” I said, whipping around to the teacher.

“This is my book,” Sasha said before he responded. She was reading the lyrics now. Her eyes going back and forth along the page. She must’ve come to Cade’s name because she stopped suddenly, her eyes jerking to mine.

“Give Lily her book back,” Mr. Mendoza said sharply. “Now.”

She didn’t listen, but flipped back more. I saw her tilt her head, reading notes I sometimes wrote in the margins of the pages to help me with the lyrics. Was she reading the notes I’d written about Cade’s dad? His home life? My skin froze.

“Sasha,” Mr. Mendoza growled.

Sasha slammed the notebook shut and tossed it toward me. It landed with a smack on the floor next to me. I picked it up and opened it to one of the pages I was sure she had read. And even though there was a big X covering some of the words, most of them were still completely legible. My eyes went over the words. The words about exchanging letters. If only I hadn’t added the unnecessary rant to the end of the lyrics she wouldn’t know who the words were about. But I had and now she knew. And I had no idea what she’d do with that knowledge.

P
unching someone on school grounds resulted in immediate suspension. I did not want to get suspended. This was what I told myself as I walked from detention toward the parking lot.

I’d been the first to leave the room and needed to make it home without looking at Sasha or I wouldn’t be able to control my actions. Making it to the parking lot didn’t help because neither my sister nor my mom were there waiting for me today.

I pulled out my phone and texted Ashley.
Is someone getting me?

“Lily,” a voice from behind me said. It was Sasha.

I turned quickly to face her. Then I took a step back, but my hands curled into fists. Two very tight fists that were dying to swing. “What?”

“Does he know it’s you?”

My stomach gave a jolt.

So she had pieced everything together. Now I needed to figure out how to answer that question. If I said yes, she would confront Cade. If I said no … what? What would happen?
Would she tell him? Keep playing it off like it was her … if that’s what she’d been doing?

I had to make a decision.

“No. He doesn’t.” There was no way I was going to tell her that he thought it was her, though.

Sasha smirked. “I didn’t think so. Lauren said you write and read letters in Chemistry almost every day. She didn’t know who you were exchanging them with.”

So Sasha hadn’t pieced together all the information from
just
my lyrics. Lauren had told her about my letter-writing habits as well.

“If Cade knew it was you, he’d die,” Sasha went on. “He hates you.”

“I know.” A lump was forming in my throat. I wasn’t sure why. She hadn’t said anything I didn’t already know. Why had my anger turned to this sadness? Why had I gone from wanting to pummel her, to wanting to crawl into bed and never come out?

“If you heard half the stuff he said about you, you wouldn’t have a thing for him,” she went on cruelly.

“I do not have a thing for him. I have a … boyfriend.” That last word came out kind of choked. Mostly because Lucas wasn’t my boyfriend. But I really needed to claim him as such in this moment.

“Those poems told a different story.”

“I don’t have a thing for him.”

“I won’t tell Cade it’s you but you have to stop writing him. We’re together now.”

“I know.”

A horn beeped twice and I looked over hoping to see my sister.

I saw Cade instead.

“There’s my ride,” Sasha said, her smile as smug as her tone.

She must’ve taken one second too long to run to his car because Cade hopped out and headed our way. This was turning from bad to worse.

“Hello, ladies,” he said.

“Let’s go,” Sasha said to him.

Cade pointed at me. “Great hair today, Lily.”

I willed myself not to reach up to tame it. I could tell he was being sarcastic with that stupid smile of his. Sasha laughed.

“Are you two detention buddies?” Cade asked.

“Not at all,” I assured him, trying to gather myself together. Thankfully, I no longer felt like crying. I was just mad.

“She’s another one of your enemies?” he asked me, still giving me a teasing smile.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know that,” I snapped. “Your girlfriend was just reminding me why I don’t hang out with people like the two of you.”

Sasha laughed. “You don’t hang out with us because you’re not welcome, but nice try.”

Cade looked like he was going to say something but he hesitated as though waiting for my response. I didn’t give one. I was so done with them.

I turned on my heel and stormed away. I allowed myself one glance back at them and unfortunately saw that Sasha wrapped her arm around his waist. As they walked away, she threw me a wink over her shoulder as if we were now co-conspirators. As if we were anything.

Why hadn’t I just punched her?

M
y mom came in my room and set a small box in front of me. “Lily, I need you to do me a favor,” she said.

I looked up distractedly from my notebook. I’d been trying to drown my sorrows in songwriting but it wasn’t happening. I was still too distraught by what had gone down with Sasha after detention.

“Um … okay,” I said to Mom, closing my notebook and pushing my hair out of my eyes.

“I need you to deliver that for me.” Mom nodded to the box.

“What is it?”

“A piece of jewelry.”

“Okay. Do you have an address?” I got to my feet. Mom had asked me to drop off some pieces to clients before. “And are they paying when I deliver or have they already paid?”

“No payment. This is an apology gift.”

“I don’t understand.”

“From you.”

“From
me
? Why?”

Mom put her hands on her hips. “Because we had a guest over the other day that you treated very poorly. We didn’t talk
about it that day because it was Thanksgiving. But now we are talking about it. That boy had been nothing but kind and you made him feel unwelcome.”

I was too horrified to speak but finally I found my voice.

“I know. I’m sorry.” I really did know and I really was sorry, but I also really didn’t want to deliver this box and I was hoping with all the hope in me that if Mom saw that I was sincere in my regret she wouldn’t make me. Because although our
guest
hadn’t deserved my treatment of him that day, he deserved it a thousand times over for every other day.

And his awful girlfriend deserved worse.

“Good. Then this shouldn’t be very hard.” Mom patted the lid of the box and walked away.

“Mom! Wait!”

She stopped.

“Can’t Wyatt just give it to him on Thursday at baseball practice? I don’t need to take it now and tie up your car.” Mom’s car was run-down, messy, and very mom-like. Even though it represented the story of my life pretty well, I tried to avoid driving it at all costs, especially in super nice neighborhoods to the house of a guy who didn’t need more reasons to make fun of me. “Or I could give it to him at school.”
Or I could never, ever give it to him.

“I’d like you to take it now, Lily.” She nodded toward the box. “Go on. And actually use the words
I’m sorry
while you’re there, too.”

That would be impossible.

It had been years since I’d been to Cade Jennings’s house and I’d hoped I would never have to step foot in it again. But here I was, standing in front of his large double doors.

As I rang the doorbell, I prayed that he wouldn’t be home. Or maybe that some butler would answer instead. Then I could throw the box and run.

But luck wasn’t my friend these days. Between the whole guitar thing and the detention thing and the Sasha thing, I shouldn’t have expected this to actually go my way.

Cade answered. All six foot, slightly damp hair, sparkling smile of him. “Hey,” he said, like it was perfectly normal for me to be standing on his doorstep.

“Hi,” I muttered, my eyes down.

“Come in.”

Had my mom warned him I was coming?

I stepped into his huge entryway, thinking my memory had exaggerated it, but if anything it was bigger than I remembered. And whiter—marble floors, large white floor vases, a huge abstract painting with nothing but white lines.

I held out the box to him. “This is from my mom.”

“What for?” He opened the box and pulled out the bracelet she had been assembling on his wrist during Thanksgiving. “Ah! The man bracelet. I thought you said I was just her model.”

“Well, you were until I was rude to you,” I said. “This is a ‘my daughter was rude to you’ gift.”

“If that’s the case, she owes me about five hundred more.” There was a smile in Cade’s voice.

“Funny. Anyway, you don’t have to wear it.” It didn’t have feathers so at least there was that. “You can give it to your mom or something.”

He gave a mock gasp. “This is a man bracelet, Lily. My mom is not a man. I will wear this. And when I wear it, it will remind me that you apologized for being mean to me.”

“I did
not
apologize.”

“Oh.” He raised one eyebrow. “So your mom is apologizing for you being mean to me?”

I gave a short laugh. “Yes.”

“But not you?”

“Fine. Me too. I’ll see you later.”

“Wait.”

I had been backing up and I stopped.

“You have to show me how to use it.”

“Use it?”

“How to put it on.” Cade turned and walked away. I assumed that meant I was supposed to follow him. I thought about not following him but then I’d owe him another bracelet for sure.

I met up with him in his massive kitchen. The box and bracelet were now sitting on the island and he was on the other side assembling a sandwich. I had obviously interrupted him in the middle of snack time. I kept the island between us and stopped next to the box.

Cade placed the top slice of bread on his sandwich and took a bite. “You want anything?” he asked through his mouthful.

“No. I’m good.” I picked up his bracelet. “So anyway, it’s just a basic clasp. You open it here and attach it to the ring.”

“Wait a sec. Just let me finish eating so you can show me on my wrist.”

I was not going to get annoyed because it was obvious that’s what he was trying to do—annoy me. I put the bracelet back in the box, leaned against the counter, and waited. Over his right shoulder was a large set of French doors that I could see the pool through.

I thought back to his fourteenth birthday party. After we’d eaten the catered food, everyone had gone out to the pool. A lot of the guys swam and the girls sat on the side like if the water touched us, we’d melt. I’d worn my swimsuit but wasn’t going to get in if Isabel didn’t. Especially because my swimsuit was a hand-me-down from my sister and was a little too big on me. At one point as I talked with Isabel, I’d slipped my hand into the pocket of my shorts and felt a piece of paper there. When I pulled it out it was a five-dollar bill. It had been a long time since I’d worn the shorts and I was so surprised to see it that I’d let out a happy yelp and said, “Best day ever!” Cade, who must’ve been walking over to see Isabel when this happened said, “That’s all it takes to make you happy? Maybe if I handed you a five every morning, you’d be more pleasant.”