Protecting My Hart (Protectors Series Book 1) (28 page)

“Beamer or Kash will be here if I’m not?”

“Yes, you have my word.”

“Then yeah, I can stay focused. Thanks, Mack,” Slyde sounds relieved.

“All right, I’m gonna get out of here, got some things check on. I’ll check in with you sometime tomorrow,” Mack states.

“Sounds good, Mack, and thanks again,” Slyde responds and Mack nods and stands up, moving away from us and leaves.

“Hart, do you need anything? Shot of liquor? Pain pills?” Kash asks, making his way over to me.

“No. No pain pills. I won’t take them. They will make me fuzzy, and I’ll freak out.”

“Tesoro, you need to take something. How about some aspirin? It will help with the swelling and take the edge off the pain without messing with your head.”

“OK.”

“Thank you,” he whispers. Kash is back in seconds with aspirin and a bottle of water.

“You guys know I’m not helpless right? I can move and get stuff for myself.”

“Hart, don’t even try that crap,” Kash warns.

“Sweetheart, you may be able to walk, hell, you may be able to dance the tango, but it doesn’t matter. You thought one badass, alpha, macho man was bad, now you got three. You’re family, Hart, this is what family does. They take care of one another. Don’t fight it, ‘cause it’s happening,” Beamer explains.

My eyes move over his face, then to Kash who shares the same look as Beamer, my gaze finally landing on Slyde, and I see it. I can feel it, and it’s a pretty amazing feeling.

“Family,” I whisper as tears fill my eyes. Slyde’s face goes soft, he smiles and that combination takes my breath away.

“Yeah, Tesoro. Family.”

“Thank you, guys, I really appreciate all that you have done. I don’t know to repay you.”

“That’s easy, just bake us some more of those chocolate cookies—after you’ve healed of course—and we can call it good,” Kash responds, and Beamer laughs before agreeing.

“I think I can manage that.” I laugh. Slyde chuckles next to me as I lean into him.

“Time to get you back to bed, Hart.”

“M’kay,” I murmur.

“Call us if you need anything man. Get some rest, Hart; we will come see you tomorrow,” Kash states.

“Thanks, guys. I appreciate your help today,” Slyde responds.

“Don’t mention it, man. Get her to relax,” Beamer pipes in.

The guys leave and Slyde carries me back into the bedroom, laying me back down next to Ethan. Slyde leaves, and I hear him locking up the house. When he comes back into the bedroom, I watch him as he moves back to the bed. Since Ethan is in bed with us, Slyde leaves his shirt and sweats on and climbs into bed so that Ethan is between us. He lays on his side and moves closer so his arm wraps around us both. His eyes lock with mine.

“Are you comfortable, Hart?”

“Yeah.”

“Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. I love you, Tesoro. Te amo siempre.”

“I love you too, Slyde,” I whisper back.

It’s still dark when I open my eyes. Ethan is still asleep against me, but Slyde is no longer in bed. However, I can feel the intensity of his gaze on me. Sitting up, I scan the dark room for him and find him sitting in the corner, facing the bed. I turn on the small lamp that sits on the bedside table and turn back to face him.

“Slyde?” I whisper. His gaze never leaves me, but I can see he isn’t really looking at me, he is someplace completely different. Slowly and carefully, I climb out of bed and make my way over to him. As I get closer, I can see the pain in his eyes, the fear and torture written all over his face. My heart beats wildly something is wrong. “Slyde,” I state softly and touch his hand. His head snaps up, his eyes focus as he sees me for the first time.

“Hart, why are you out of bed?” he asks roughly, but pulls me gently onto his lap.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” my hand caressing his face.

“Nothing, Tesoro.”

“Slyde…”

“Hart, I’m fine. You should be in bed.” His arms tighten around me.

“You’re not fine; your mind was just somewhere else, somewhere bad and painful. I could tell by your face. You looked as if you were in a nightmare, being tortured. Please tell me,” I rasp, trying not to cry. “You’re hurting, and I don’t like that you’re hurting and I can’t take away your pain. You do so much for me. You have taken away so much. Please, babe, please tell me.”

“I’m sorry, Hartley.” He sighs and my heart breaks that he doesn’t trust me enough to tell me what’s bothering him. His arms tighten. “I’m so sorry they got you. I should have been here,” he states softly, burying his face in my neck.

This is why he’s so upset? Well it makes sense. Slyde is so protective, and I’m beginning to see just how deep that runs, but I’m here and OK, so I don’t quite understand why he’s so upset about this.

“Slyde, please, it’s not your fault. I told you, you’re my hero, you saved Ethan, you saved me. See, I’m right here, I’m going to be OK. I’ve survived worse. This time I’m not alone. I have a family, and it’s because of you.”

“I lost them. It was my fault, they’re gone, and it’s all because of me. I can’t go through that again, not with you.” His eyes lock onto mine and again they are filled with a tortured anguish that grips my heart so tight I can feel his pain. To cause that kind of pain in someone, it must have been really, really, bad. I remember what Beamer told me, something happened to Slyde, it rocked his world so hard it shattered. Whatever is haunting him was triggered by today. I need to know what happened so I can help him heal.

“Tell me.” I whisper softly, my hand caressing his cheek, and I leave a soft kiss on the side of his lips.

His eyes close, his head falls back against the chair, he inhales deeply before letting it out.

“I was seventeen. It was a Thursday night. I had gotten into a huge fight with my dad. I wanted to borrow the car on Friday night; there was a party that Beamer and I wanted to go to. My dad told me no, because I hadn’t finished cleaning out the garage like he asked me to do a couple weeks prior. It wasn’t a huge request, truth is it wouldn’t have taken me long to do at all, but I just never did it. I was being lazy and figured I had better things to do. My parents didn’t ask much from me, they expected me to help around the house, be respectful, and get good grades. I did that, most of the time. I had my moments; that night was one of them. My mom tried to get me to calm down, but I yelled at her to stay out of it. I told my dad that I hated him and that he was a shit father, and then I stormed out of the house. That was the last time I ever saw them.” The anguish in his voice vibrates though me. “Beamer and I went for a walk. I was pissed and needed to cool down. I regretted what I said to him the second I said it, but I was seventeen and a know-it-all. Too proud to admit that I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain.” He sighs. “My mom had seen on the news that two guys had gotten killed, wrong place wrong time kinda thing, they got caught in the crossfire of a gang shoot-up. My mom freaked thinking it was us, and talked my dad into going out looking for us. They were both in the car driving around looking for me, when they got t-boned by the gang that got shot up, racing to get their retaliation. They were killed on impact. When Beamer and I got home, there were two cop cars waiting for us. They gave me the news that made my whole world stop. I knew why they were out. Once more of the story came out in the following hours, I figured it out. My parents were killed because they were out looking for me. If I had just stayed home, they wouldn’t have been out. They wouldn’t have been worried. They taught me so much, how to be a good person, how to fight for what you want and how to protect what’s yours down to your very last breath. They taught me how to love with all that you have down to the very depth of your soul. My parents were amazing people, gave me all that they could, did whatever it took to raise me right and when they needed me, needed me to be home, I failed them. The last words I said to my dad were awful. I never got to tell him that I wasn’t mad at him. He never got to see me graduate, or join the academy. My mother will never get to meet you or hug her grandson. I never got to tell my dad how proud I am to be his son.” His voice is tight and rough with unshed emotion. My heart shatters for him. This man, my beautiful strong protector, my rock, my safe haven, is broken. He feels responsible for something that he had no control over. His crazy overprotective ways make sense now.

“Slyde, babe, you couldn’t have stopped the car. You had a fight with your dad, just like a normal teenager. He knew that you loved him, he knew what you said wasn’t true. Your mom was a mom, who was worried about her son, and nothing was going to stop her from making sure you were safe. I’d fight ‘til my last breath to protect my son, it’s what mothers do. Don’t you dare think for one second that they weren’t proud of you. I know for a fact that both your parents are so proud of what you have become.”

“What
have
I become?” he asks, and I’m a bit surprised at his question. He really doesn’t see it. I cup his face with both my hands so that I can look into his eyes.

“You became a hero. My hero.” He tries to turn his face, but I won’t let him. “No, Slyde, don’t you see it? To me you are a hero. You were the only one who saw me as a person, and not just an object used to get off. You are the only person I have ever felt safe with. I always knew that if you were around then nothing bad would happen to me. I spent years falling in love with you, and I never stopped. I always hoped that one day our paths would cross again, and I would get to see you one more time. It took me a while to understand what you were saying, because nobody has ever said anything like that to me before. I had a hard time accepting that something good could happen to me. You have never given up on me, not once, regardless of how much I fought the feelings, fought you. You are strong, caring, and so damn protective. You are an amazing man; you did whatever it took to make sure that I was safe. You took me and my son in. Brought us here to your home just days after we saw each other again. You fell in love with my son, and you claimed him as yours. You gave him something that I have been dying for him to have. You gave him a Daddy. I could not dream up a better man to be his father, or to be the man that I love. You couldn’t control what happened that night, nor could you control what happened today. I should have told you that I was uncomfortable around Mason, but I didn’t want to cause any problems. I’m sorry for that.”

“I can’t lose you, Hartley,” he chokes out, the tears that have been sitting in his enchanting blue eyes fall down his cheeks. “I was terrified today when I came home and you were missing. You and Ethan had just vanished and when I found him, fuck, I felt so relieved, but you were still missing. I don’t think I took a solid breath until I had you back in my arms. It’s a fuckin’ miracle that I didn’t go insane, but I needed to take care of Ethan. I needed to find you, I knew that you would be counting on me, and I couldn’t fail you again. Tesoro, I can’t lose you again, I can’t lose you like I lost them. You are my family. All that I have left, and I can’t lose my family. I won’t survive that again.”

“Slyde,” I choke out. “I’m right here, you have never failed me, and you won’t lose me again. I don’t have the strength to walk away from you again. It almost killed me the first time, literally. I won’t survive it a second time. You are the only man in this world for me, the only one who makes me feel so loved and cherished, so safe. I love you, Slyde Cardoane. I always have, I always will.”

I know what she told me is true, that what happened with my parents wasn’t my fault, that what happened today wasn’t my fault. Rationally I know this, emotionally it’s still hard to accept. I know my parents are smiling down on me, and I know that they helped me find her today. They helped me get her out without further incident. I just hate that they will never meet her, they will never meet their grandson, and they won’t see me marry this girl. That hurts, but I know they are proud. Her eyes stay locked onto mine and so much emotion and feeling passes through them to me. I feel it. I feel her. Her soft, warm lips press against mine. Her hot tears fall onto my cheeks. I can feel the warmth of her body under my hands and pressed against me. I can feel her heart beat against my chest. She’s right here, in my arms. She’s alive and breathing in my arms. Fuck there is nothing better than this feeling right here. Despite my worst fuckin’ nightmare today, she’s alive and so is my son. They are both safe once again, and the amount of love I have for them both is overwhelming. I pull back slightly but keep her gaze on mine.