Protecting Justice (The Justice Series Book 4) (36 page)

Work the case
. If Tony could do it, so could she. “I’m lying in fucking hospital bed, so no I’m not okay, but I will be.”
I just need time.
“Don’t touch anymore of my chocolates.”

She reached for a salted caramel mocha truffle. Tabitha didn’t seem upset at Fallyn’s outburst—her team was used to her brusque, get-it-done attitude—and helped herself to a dark chocolate anyway.

“Okay, moving on. Ryan Nicols. Hire Tim Plantar as his lawyer and let’s do a full court press on media before they even get their talons out. We also need to contact Aledo Walton at Justice.”

“What the hell is going on here?” a deep male voice interrupted.

Fallyn looked up, and yep, her world, her heart, exploded.

Tony stood behind Niles, looking over the guy’s shoulder with a mean expression on his face as he sized up Fallyn in bed.

He looked completely strung out. Three days’ worth of beard growth, eyes bloodshot, a permanent crease in his forehead…

Still looks good to me.

He met her gaze head on, crossing his arms over his enormous chest.

Touch me. Please come over here and touch me.

Then she would know it was alright.
They
were alright.

Yes, she’d pissed him off and sent him away right before everything went south, but she’d had to. He never would have left her to help Grey if she hadn’t acted pissed off and told him to get out.

Later, in his arms, she’d told him she loved him. She’d been woozy on the floor after Jordan had shot her, and she wasn’t sure about a few of the details, but dammit, she remembered telling him she loved him.

Niles backed out of the way and the rest of the group skirted to the opposite side of the bed, putting Fallyn in between them and Tony, who was doing a damn good impression of Mad Max from Justice-dome.

Fallyn couldn’t blame them. A pissed Tony Gerard past his expiration date was nothing to mess with.

He didn’t make a move toward the bed. Didn’t act like he wanted to look at her, much less touch her.

Ouch
.

“Leave,” he said to her team, and, in unison, they all looked at her.

“We’re done here for now,” she told them with an
it will be alright
smile. “Update me on your progress before this evening.”

“Are you sure about this?” Niles said under his breath as he leaned over and air-kissed her forehead.

“Yes,” she said, seeing the look of anger Tony shot him. “I’ll catch up with all of you later.”

Dani closed her laptop and stood as the others filed out ahead of her. She grabbed Fallyn’s cell phone off the bedside table and handed it to her. “I’m going to work here for awhile in the waiting room down the hall. You need anything, you text me.”

How did I get so lucky to have such devoted employees?
“Thank you,” she said, accepting the phone. “Now, get to work.”

Dani—all five foot three inches of her—walked past Tony slowly, glaring at him with her chest puffed out and holding the laptop like she’d like to use it on him. Tony met her glare and returned it with a sneer, the two of them like dogs, circling each other until Dani finally walked out the door.

Silence filled the room. Tony didn’t look at her. At least not at her face. He stared at her feet, encased in her favorite pink polk-a-dot socks.

Fallyn waited, biting her bottom lip to keep from bursting out and saying something she knew she’d regret. Tony obviously had something on his mind. She needed to let him talk. To get it all out.

Knowing Tony like she did, she figured he needed to tell her what he’d found out and update her on his situation with the Jordan shooting.

He’d killed a woman to save her. She owed him everything. Yet…she sensed he didn’t see it that way.

So much guilt.

How could a man live like that?

Her chest felt like it was a balloon filled with too much helium. The sensation pulsated all the way up to her throat. She had to break this god-awful silence before it choked her. “I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you.”

A muscle jumped in his jaw. “I’ve been at FBI headquarters since early this morning. Don Fox has agreed to testify against Barnard Shaw. The FBI found emails between him and Jordan proving she was willing to sell him the information once she obtained it from Heather.”

“So what happens now to Ryan and the president?”

He still didn’t look at her, her voice unemotional, dry. “Agent Bronco took it to Justice an hour ago. They’ll open a formal investigation today.”

“It’ll take months to sort out, won’t it?”

“At least.”

The straight line of his broad shoulders told her he was holding himself rigid.
Why won’t he look at me?

“Tony, I’m sorry about what I said that night at the shelter. Before…you know.”

His gazed bounced to his shoes, back to her socks, then away. “You were under a lot of stress.”

“That was no excuse. So were you. You shouldn’t have been put in the situation of choosing whether to stay with me or help Grey. All I was doing was trying to make your choice easier.”

“And look what happened.”

“What happened is I didn’t take my situation seriously enough, even after everything that had happened. You were right, and that’s on me. You did the right thing going to help Grey. Even if you had stayed, Jordan would have gotten to me sooner or later. So knock it off with the guilt train. You saved my life busting into the apartment when you did and…”

“Stop it, Fallyn.” He rocked back on his heels, his face grim as a tank. “Stop making excuses for me.”

“I’m not making excuses for anyone. I’m stating facts. I owe you my life, Tony Gerard. So does Grey.”

He let go of a derisive snort and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Fallyn said.

“Grey’s being released. I’m going to take him home.”

“Are you coming back, then, after that?”

He looked at her—finally looked at her—over his shoulder as he opened the door part way. “For what? That fight was inevitable, Fallyn. We’ve talked about this. We’re both too aggressive. Always pushing. Eventually, it’ll do us in. I think it’s better this way. Before we get too deep into this.”

All the air went out of her lungs. He was leaving. As in
never coming back
leaving.

Her throat constricted. “You’re human, Tony. You can’t protect everyone all the time. We’re good together. Damn good.”

Another snort and he shook his head.

“I love you, Tony. I’ll always love you. So when you’re done beating yourself up, I’ll be here, waiting.”

Nothing changed for a moment. He glanced down at the floor, his knuckles white from the grip he had on the door handle.

And then she saw the slight drop of his shoulders. It wasn’t much, only a fraction, but it was there.

If only he would come back. Turn around and come back to the bed. Touch her, kiss her, hold her.

She thought, in that moment, he might. He might give up that tight string of control and let the guilt go.

Come on, big guy. Do it.

But he didn’t. Without a word, he swung the door open the rest of the way and left her lying there.

The pressure in her lungs detonated, bringing with it a torrent of tears. She cried in silence, letting the grief take her. Grief for the life she wanted with Tony that would never be. The sisterhood she’d fantasized about with Heather that also would never be.

She’d spent her whole adult life going after what she wanted. For the first time since she’d left home to go out on her own, she’d failed.

Miserably.

The coming days and weeks stretched out in front of her. The new office would keep her busy for awhile. All the new clients beating a path to her door as well.

Her dad. Lot of fences to mend there.

None of it mattered without Tony.

She thought about Ryan and Heather and how much they had lost. How stupid would it be for her and Tony to let their relationship fall apart over guilt and a lousy argument? They could have everything Ryan and Heather missed out on.

If only…

Picking up her cell phone, she texted Dani.

* * *

“Why are we doing this?” Dani asked as she pushed Fallyn into the hallway. “I mean, I get that this guy trips your lust-o-meter. He trips mine too and I’m a total lesbo, but seriously, Fallyn, he’s demented. You said yourself two days ago that he has issues. You hate guys with issues.”

Which might be why she was single. Fallyn took short breaths to keep the pressure off her lungs. They burned from the all the shifting to get up and into this damn wheelchair, but she couldn’t let Tony get away. “This one is different.”

“Oh, God, you’re not going to try and fix him, are you?”

That’s what she’d wanted in the beginning. She saw the wild drive in Tony. The pain that made him stay in fourth gear all the time like she did, trying to outrun it. The past couple of days—hell, the couple of minutes she’d spent with Ryan—had made her realize no one could outrun their demons.

Tony didn’t see that. He wanted to walk away from his failure with her, probably because he saw himself as a failure and didn’t want to burden her with that.

What utter bullshit.

So she was going to dog him. Be his demon come to life in order to make him face what had to be faced.

“He has to fix himself,” she said. “No one can do it for him. Not even me.”

She was not leaving him alone until he got over himself. He was not carrying the guilt over Jordan shooting her to his grave. All that other nonsense about them pushing each other too hard. Well, they’d have to figure out how to adjust. Couples did it all the time.

“First time I’ve ever heard that out of your mouth,” Dani said.

“Can’t this thing go any faster?”

Dani grumbled under her breath. “It’s a wheelchair, Fallyn. Not an Indy car.”

“The room is down there at the end of the hall.”

“You already told me that.”

“Just stop and let me get out. I can shuffle faster than you can push this thing.”

“Will you stop? I’ve got this. I promise I won’t let Terrible Tony get away before you bitch-slap him.”

They were almost to the door when it cracked open.

“I knew it. He’s about to leave.” Fallyn smacked the arm of the wheelchair. “Hurry.”

Dani complied and the wheelchair picked up the tiniest amount of speed.

But it wasn’t Tony that popped his head out and looked both ways. It was Sydney.

“Fallyn?” she said when her gaze landed on her and Dani. “I was just looking for Grey’s nurse with his discharge papers. Is everything okay?”

“No. I need to see Tony. Is he still here?”

Syd backed up and cocked her head toward the inside of the room. “In here.”

Dani pushed her through and nearly ran into Tony who was heading right for them.

“What’s wrong?” he said, concern etched on his face.

Dani pulled up short, all that forward momentum coming to a screeching halt. “What’s wrong?” Fallyn said. “What the hell do you think is wrong?”

Grey, sitting on the edge of the bed, raised his brows.

He was looking better, the ashen color gone from his face and his demeanor back to
don’t mess with me
. “Jeez, Gerard. What the fuck did you do now?”

“Me?” Tony whirled on the man.

“Yeah, you,” Syd chimed in. “What did you do to upset Fallyn this time?”

Tony’s head bobbed back and forth, eyes wide in disbelief. “I…I…”

“Shut up,” Fallyn said. “You’re going to listen to me, whether you want to or not.”

* * *

Tony gritted his teeth and stared straight ahead. He’d known that was too easy. No way Fallyn would let him walk away without a fight. Regardless of how she felt about him, it wasn’t in her nature to give up.

But this wasn’t happening. Together, they were an impending train wreck. That fight at the shelter? That was child’s play. The closer they grew they’d become more volatile. Passion did that to people.

Made them insane.

And he was already halfway there.

He squared his shoulders, readied for the war. “Fallyn, there’s nothing else to say.”

“I disagree.”

“Of course you do.”

A weird noise came from Grey. “Can you wait until I’m discharged for this so I can get the hell out of here?”

This time it was Syd who said, “shut up” as she looked pointedly at Grey. “They need to work this out.”

“Not with me in here!”

Syd closed the door and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed with Grey. “Go on, Fallyn.”

Fallyn drew a deep breath and Tony knew, knew, he wasn’t getting out in one piece.

“This thing about us not being good together is bull. Why don’t you want to be with me?”

Tony threw her a scathing look. “What?”