Protect Me: Oakville Series:Book Three (22 page)

Wrapping a towel around my waist, I go into the bedroom and lay down on the bed. I reach for my phone and check for messages, but there’s nothing. I can’t call her and she hasn’t called me. I’m getting frustrated, but I’m not giving up hope that he has forced her to go with him. Not until I have something solid to prove it. I have to believe she still loves me. There hasn’t been anything to solidly back that theory up either.

I forwarded all her calls to my phone, just in case she calls it. I know it’s a long shot, but right now, that’s all I have. As I scroll through the list of voicemails, there’s a number I don’t recognize, so that’s the first one I listen to.

“Ms. Anders, this is Dr. Monty’s office calling to let you know you missed your fifteen week prenatal appointment. Please call us to reschedule,” a bubbly voice says as I drop the phone to the bed. My head is spinning and my heart aches. Holly is pregnant? I’m going to be a dad? Why wouldn’t she tell me this? So many emotions are swirling around inside me, it makes it difficult to know what I’m really feeling. Fear. Fear is the biggest emotion. Knowing what that son of a bitch did to Holly’s first baby, his own child, leaves me very afraid of what he’ll do to ours. If he did all of this to get Holly back for himself, how is he going to handle finding out she’s carrying another man’s child?

The lump in my throat is so overpowering, I’m finding it hard to breathe. Quickly, I throw on a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt and frantically dial Kyle downstairs. It takes three attempts because my hands are shaking so badly. He answers on the third ring.

“No, I’m not coming up to wash your back. You’re on your own there, man,” Kyle chuckles. Any other time, I could’ve seen the humor there, but now is not that time.

“No time for jokes, KC. I need you to call Beasley and Amber. Have them meet us here. Please. I’ll be down in a minute,” I stammer and hang up without giving him a chance to reply. It feel like my entire world is being ripped away from me. This is why I spent so many years not allowing myself to care about anyone. I don’t like this helpless feeling. Knowing the two people I love more than anything are in danger and I’m sitting here with my thumb up my ass unable to do a damned thing. How is it that I’m already so in love with and protective of a child I just found out about? A child I’ve never seen, or held, yet I’m willing to die to protect it. Getting them back to me safely is my only concern. I won’t let that bastard hurt another child...my child.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I put on my socks. After slipping on my boots and lacing them up, I stand and glance back at the bed. Memories of all the time Holly and I have spent in this bed begin to flood my mind. Until Kyle gave Holly and I his mother’s house, we lived here in this apartment. So many nights we’ve laid in this bed after making love, discussing what we both wanted our futures to look like. I remember the first time she brought up the idea of kids. I have to admit, I was a tad freaked out. After growing up the way I did, I was afraid I couldn’t possibly be a good parent. But when she looked into my eyes and told me I’d be a great father, all my worries disappeared. Seeing how happy Kyle and Amber are with Cody helps, too. It’s hard to believe I want this so badly now. I spent so much of my life telling myself I could never be any good for anyone, that I’d only cause pain for anyone who loved me, but Kyle and Holly showed me how wrong I was. I clear my head of all the memories swirling around my mind. I need to get downstairs.

As I walk up to the bar, everyone is already there waiting. Beasley, Kyle, Angel, and Amber all turn to look at me with curious expressions on their faces. Amber slides over, making room for me between her and Beasley. I walk over and slide onto the barstool. Beasley slaps me on the back as he gives me that fatherly look of concern. He may be Amber’s real father, but he treats the rest of us misfits as if we are his children. It’s something I needed even before I knew I did.

“What’s up, Paul? Any new info that might help speed this along some?” Beasley questions as he hands me a fresh beer. I take a long pull and try to gather my thoughts into words.

“I’m not sure it will help us, but it makes this search a whole lot more urgent,” I state and take another sip of my beer. “I was listening to Holly’s messages and there was one from Dr. Monty’s office.” Amber and Kyle both look at each other in shock. They know Dr. Monty because he was their doctor through both of Amber’s pregnancies. I look at Amber. If anyone other than Holly knew about the baby, it would be Amber. They tell each other everything. I can’t imagine her telling anyone else before telling the two of us. “Did you know Holly’s pregnant? According to the message, she missed her fifteenth week appointment.”

“Paul, I swear, I had no idea. She did say she had some big news to announce at the party, but then Ray showed up and things got weird. She must’ve planned on telling us all that night. You didn’t know either?” Amber asks. I shake my head no. I can’t help but think of how happy I would’ve been if she’d had the chance to tell me in front of all our friends.

“After what you told us about Ray, this new information does change things. I’ll call my buddy to see if he’s gotten any closer to finding her. Meanwhile, I need you to guys to look through her things and see if there’s anything that can point us in the right direction,” Beasley orders.

“I can go look through her things at the house,” Amber offers as she pulls a huge pile of mail from her even bigger purse. I take the pile from her and quickly flip through it, but it looks like nothing but bills.

“That would be great. I’ll check the few boxes we still have in the closet upstairs. Thank you all for being here for me,” I say awkwardly. I kiss Amber on the cheek and wave to the guys before heading back upstairs to the apartment. Please, God, let us come across something to help us find her. I can’t lose them.

I
DON’T
know how much more of this I can take. I’m nothing more than a prisoner in this house. Ray doesn’t leave for any reason. He even has the groceries delivered to us. I’m going stir crazy. I thought for sure Paul would’ve come for me by now. Two weeks have gone by since I sent my letter to him. There’s only one of two possible reasons. One, he hasn’t gotten the letter, which means it’s gotten lost and he won’t get it. With Ray sticking around, there won’t be another opportunity to send a new one. The second reason, the one I pray won’t be the one, is that he’s given up and has let me go. The thought of that happening has my chest tightening and bile creeping up my throat. What if he doesn’t want me? What if he truly thinks I left him for Ray?

With each day that goes by, my belly gets a little bigger. Anyone could tell now that I’m pregnant. I keep having dreams of a baby girl. I would love to have a little girl. I wonder what Paul would prefer. Knowing how protective he is, I’m guessing he’ll want a boy. I wish I could share all of these things with him. We should be discussing names and choosing items for a nursery. I hope we’ll still have a chance to do those things together.

“Please tell me you aren’t sitting here bellyaching about that putts you left back in redneckville,” Ray says sarcastically. I’ve been trying to keep him calm and not start any arguments. Telling him I was thinking of Paul will only piss him off. So far, he hasn’t laid a hand on me, but my luck will only go so far. I do, however, need him to understand that I need to see a doctor.

“No. I was actually thinking that it’s past time to see a doctor. I need to make sure the baby is healthy,” I tell him, hoping he understands instead of getting angry. Watching his face, I notice his features soften just a little at the mention of the baby. As much as I hate him, I can’t help but be amazed at the changes I see in him. Not that these changes make any difference. I love Paul. I’m carrying Paul’s baby. Ray had his chance to be my husband and the father of our child, but he threw that all away. Not me. I moved on, as difficult as it was. Somehow, I found a man just as broken as me. We helped each other put all of the pieces back together and the ones missing, we created along the way.

I’m afraid that by doing what I considered to be the only way I could keep my loved ones safe, I’m now the one who threw away my chance. Paul trusted me. Something that was almost impossible for him to accomplish. Now that he thinks I’ve broken that trust, it won’t be possible to rebuild it. He won’t even want to try. I know this because it’s the same way I’d handle it. Wrong? Maybe, but it’s the only way to guard yourself. We’ve learned if a person hurts you once, they’ll do it over and over again, until you put a stop to it.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t even thinking. I’ll get you an appointment with a doctor,” Ray says. Inside, I’m jumping for joy. Not only do I get to make sure my baby is healthy, I may also have a chance of getting the hell out of here. Maybe in the doctor’s office I can get to a phone and call Amber. After all of the things she’s been through, she’ll understand why I did this. “I know a great doctor who makes house calls.” And just like that, my world shatters. Suddenly, I feel hopeless; a feeling I haven’t had since the last time I was in this house. I need to get out. Get away from this man and back to Paul. My mouth takes over. I know I’ll regret standing up to him, but I’m stronger now. A lot stronger than I was before.

“Ray, you can’t keep me locked in this house. We had a deal. I’d stay here and pretend with you until you convinced your father we were still together, then you’d let me go back home. Is your father even sick?” I squeak out. My voice didn’t sound as confident as I would’ve liked.

“I always thought you were a smart girl, but I’m seriously reconsidering. Of course he’s not sick. He doesn’t even like you. I want you back. I knew I could make you love me again, I just had to get you back here alone with me,” he states as he takes my face in his hands. My stomach begins to churn. His touch repulses me. How could I have been so stupid? I begin to back away from him. I can see the anger appear in his eyes at my obvious rejection. There’s the Ray I remember. The backs of my legs hit a chair and stop my escape. The sound of my heart thumping against my chest is deafening.

Ray lunges toward me, grabbing my shoulders. He begins to shake me. “Why won’t you just forgive me? We can start over. I promise, I’ll love this baby like it’s my own,” he pleads.

“Are you forgetting what you did to your baby, Ray?” I spit. For a second, remorse crosses his face, but it’s quickly replaced with pure anger.

“Can’t you see I’m trying to change? I’m sorry for the things I’ve done. At some point, you need to realize you are responsible for some of it, too,” he fumes as his grip gets tighter. Even though my entire body is trembling, my mouth still won’t stop.

“No one deserves to be beat, Ray. There’s no excuse. But none of that matters any longer. You need to face the facts.” I take his face into my trembling hands and look him straight in the eyes. He needs to understand. “I do not love you. I never will love you. We will never be back together. Those are the facts, Ray, and nothing you say or do will change them,” I state and watch as a single tear falls from his eye. I follow its path down his cheek until it drips from his chin onto my wrist. Something about that single tear frightens me. My hands fall from his face to the ever-growing bump, covering the only thing I care about at this moment. To myself, I pray that my baby stays safe from the beating I’m about to take.