Protect and Serve (18 page)

“And I thought you were just mad because I hadn’t made it to the hospital sooner. I was working, and by the time word got to me that they had to rush you from your job at the mall…”

Penny sighed.

So much hurt, so many wrongs
.

“For what it’s worth, Terrill wanted to tell you the truth. He’s wanted me to tell you the truth for years. Even after I told the lie, and the way you reacted…your striking him…God, the way I made you treat your best friend…I don’t blame you if you can never forgive me. I don’t think I’ll ever really be able to forgive myself.

“If you’d like, I can leave now. I can go on back to Big Mama’s house until I get a flight out of here. I just wanted you to know, even though I hurt you worse than anyone ever could, I didn’t mean to initially. I was just trying to let you go, because the guilt was too much and I felt so unworthy of your love. And once I grasped what I’d done, I couldn’t figure out how to go back, how to undo it. But if you can, don’t blame Terrill anymore for it—”

“Don’t blame Terrill? I blame you both! He was my best friend. He of all people knew how much I loved you. He didn’t have to even look me in the eye to know how what you said would break me. And he let me go on for fifteen years…Both of you robbed me of not only my best friends, but the chance to properly mourn my child.” Jason let out a hiss of frustration. He eyes showed heated anger.

“Do you realize what that was like? What it has been like to know you lost something and feel the loss so intensely? To feel that you can’t mourn because you’d been told it was never yours? I loved that child, Pen. From the moment we took the home pregnancy test in the bathroom at Big Mama’s house, I loved our child. And when you told the lie, it became a double loss.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Penny moved to get out of bed. She had to grab her clothes and get out of there.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving. You know the truth now, and I was right all along—you hate me, and it’s too late for us.”

“I don’t hate you, Penny. I could never hate you. That’s the problem. If I could hate you, this would be so easy. I would have been able to say goodbye to you, to us, a long time ago.” He paused and shook his head. “And I don’t want you to leave. I said you can stay until we get Markum behind bars and you sort things out with Carla. I’m not going back on that now.”

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?” She realized as soon as the words exited her mouth that it was too much. She had no right to ask such a thing for herself. But she knew the least she could do was to try to right the other wrong she had done. “At least can you see your way clear to forgiving Terrill? He got caught in the middle of all this, and I know for a fact, losing your friendship took a lot from him.”

Jason opened his mouth but then pursed his lips in thought.

Penny was glad for the hesitation. She had a feeling that if he was to go with his first mind on this, he’d say something that would crush her heart. And she wouldn’t be able to fault him for it, either.

“I honestly don’t know, Penny. For the past fifteen years, I’ve been telling myself all I needed was to find proof that you’d lied. I kept thinking, if you had lied and you really still loved me all along, then things could be fine between us again. And now that I have exactly what I’ve wished for all these years, I’m still plagued by the fact you lied to me and the two of you stole something very precious from me. The memory of my child, and the right to properly mourn him or her.”

Penny’s heart broke, and tears started to fall down her cheeks again. But her chest felt ten pounds lighter with the truth out. And she supposed that was more than she deserved.

She nodded. “I understand.”

“I think I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight, Penny. I need to sort some things out. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Penny felt a small gasp escape her lips, and she balled up into a knot on the bed. She curled up tight, trying to hold it all together on the outside when she was falling to pieces on the inside.

T
he next morning, Penny and Jason went through the motions of being cordial. He gave her a key. That way, if she had to go out and run errands, she wouldn’t have to wait for him to return from work to get back in.

The tension of the lie was gone, but it had been replaced by another tension. The truth had done exactly what she’d thought it would do.

Jason hated her now.

Oh, he said he didn’t. But his distance and disappointment were palpable. After taking a shower and making a series of business calls, Penny decided to call the airlines and see about getting an earlier flight back home to Los Angeles. She purchased a ticket for Carla, too. She was able to get them both out on a red-eye that evening.

Things were going to work out fine.

She was about to call Carla to let her know she had gotten her wish and would be moving to Los Angeles, when the doorbell rang. She looked out of the peephole and saw Jason’s aunt Sophie standing there. In spite of her desire just to let the evil woman go away, Penny decided at least to see what she wanted.

“Jason’s not here right now.”
Might as well cut to the chase,
Penny thought as she opened the door without so much as a hello.

Sophie came in anyway, seeming to turn her nose up as she walked past Penny.

“Then why are you here, Penny? Are you trying to ruin his life yet again? No doubt you’ve used your sluttish ways to woo him back into bed. I hope you haven’t picked up any diseases from all those rappers and musicians you’ve been messing with. At least I hope you’re using protection this time. Surely you don’t need to trap him by getting pregnant now. You must have plenty of other men out there in California who can pay you child support. What about Terrill?” Sophie kept talking as she walked into the town house.

Stunned, Penny closed the door and followed her in. “We used protection back then, Sophie. The condom broke.”

“You shouldn’t have been having sex, then. And you certainly shouldn’t be having sex now. Didn’t your grandmother just die? Shouldn’t you be grieving, or at least paying attention to that crackhead mother of yours, so she doesn’t have a relapse in this time of loss? I mean, really, Penny, your priorities have never been great, but this is, well…” Sophie had the nerve to have an expression of concern on her face.

“Jason’s not here, and I don’t have to listen to your insults. So you need to leave.”

“You can’t make me leave my nephew’s home.” She paused for effect and puffed out her triple-D chest. “In fact, I think you should leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Jason wants me here.”

Okay, that is a bit of an overstatement. But she doesn’t know that…

“He’s even given me a key. So I’ll ask you again, nicely, to leave.”

Sophie harrumphed, glared at her and then kept walking, right on into the living room.

Penny followed her and folded her arms across her chest.

“Maybe I should call the police,” Sophie said. “There are so many family members on the force, it would be fairly easy to have you locked away like the trash you are.”

“That’s your prerogative, but I can tell you this much. There won’t be too much more name-calling from you.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Call it what you want, Sophie. But I’ll say this, even though my dear sweet grandmother raised me right and taught me to respect my elders. I’m still my mother’s daughter, as you are so fond of bringing up every chance you get. And just how long do you think she would sit up here and make nice with you while you hurled insults at her?”

“Gutter trash! I always knew it!” Sophie hissed.

“Gutter trash that is about five seconds off of your old evil behind. Now, keep testing me…” Penny counted to ten because, no matter how much she felt the old miserable woman deserved a butt-kicking, she knew she was not going to stoop to that level.

But she was only human, and the restraint required to deal with Sophie Hightower was more than she had in reserve. She counted to ten again.

“You know, you have been looking down your nose at me from the time I was a kid. You always made snide comments about me and Terrill and how we weren’t good enough—”

“You weren’t. You little no-class street urchins
weren’t
good enough! He picked up all kinds of bad habits hanging out with the two of you. That no-class, common-behind sister-in-law of mine allowed you two to come over and practically become part of the family. And then the unthinkable happened and his head was turned by that slutty little body you started to get. And I know you tried to trap him…But God is good and thank the Lord you lost that baby. Jason’s life would have been ruined.”

“Get. Out. I don’t believe you have the nerve to repeat those horrible words again!”

“No, I—”

Penny grabbed the older woman by the arm and started to pull her toward the door.

“Let me go. I’m going to press charges.”

“Be my guest! But you are about to leave here. Now.” Penny opened the door. “Get out!”

Sophie’s back straightened and she threw her head up as she walked out of the door. “I’m going to tell my nephew how you treated me, and believe you me, missy, you will be out of here before—”

Penny slammed the door in her face and slouched down in front of it. She let out a heavy sigh and waited for the tears to come.

When they didn’t, she got up, brushed herself off and got ready to leave before being thrown out. Because she was certain that when Jason heard she’d bodily put his aunt out of the house, he’d really be through with her.

It was time to go get her mother and get out of Jersey once and for all.

Jason sat across from Joel, unable to believe that his brother—no, make that his
former
brother—was laughing at him. He’d just told him about all the lies and deception his two former best friends had put him through. He’d just bared his soul about how he’d spent the past fifteen years hoping for exactly this and how he felt so confused now that he’d gotten what he’d hoped for.

And his brother was just cracking up. When he finally finished laughing, Joel actually had to wipe tears from his eyes.

“You mean to tell me you came down to the firehouse to tell me you finally got what you wanted and you don’t know what to do? I mean, seriously, bro, you have been pining for Penny since she left here, and now she’s back and she even said she still loves you…and you don’t know what to do?”

“I have not been pining. I have dated plenty of beautiful women.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re the player of the year. Blah. Blah. Blah. But you’re also on some ole Michael Jackson tip right about now.”

Jason frowned. He had no idea what Michael Jackson had to do with anything.

Joel started singing “Never Can Say Goodbye” off-key.

“Whatever, man. I don’t know why I even bothered coming to talk with you,” Jason said.

“Because you know after I finished laughing at you, I would give you great advice,” Joel replied. “Lawrence would just laugh at you and tell you to stop acting like a chump. And Patrick would laugh at you, call you pathetic and tell you love is for suckers.”

“Well, when are you going to get to the part where you give out the good advice?” Jason frowned. “I don’t have all day.”

“When I’m done laughing.” Joel burst out laughing again, slapping his knee. “Nah, seriously, bro. Here’s the thing. She messed up
big-
time. But it sounds like she did it for reasons she thought were right. She thought she was doing it for you. She loved you. She still loves you. How can you walk away from that, especially when you love her, too?”

Jason’s cell phone rang and he answered it. It was just the call he’d been waiting for. He finally had a lead on Clyde Markum.

The man had been sighted a little too close to Big Mama’s neighborhood for his taste. But at least Penny was at his town house and not in any danger.

He paused at the realization that he truly cared about what happened to her. He wasn’t exactly ready to face what Joel was talking about. But he figured he would have more clarity once he got rid of the Markum threat.

“Gotta go, Joel. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, baby bro. Just remember, I’m the best man at the wedding. I don’t care if you and Terrill are cool again. I’m your brother and I’m the one who talked some sense into you.”

Jason shook his head and decided to ignore Joel. He didn’t know if there would ever be a wedding. And he certainly didn’t know if he and Terrill would ever be cool again. All he knew for sure was, he had to do what he could to protect Penny and make sure she was safe. That meant getting Markum.

Penny entered Big Mama’s house and searched every single room. Carla and Gerald were nowhere to be found. She had no idea where they could be, and she was starting to get worried.

She was on her way back out of the house, calling Carla’s cell phone, when she ran smack into a hard muscular form.

“Seems like I lucked out and found the little baby slut instead of the mama slut. You’ll make the perfect lesson to send to that druggie whore and punk father of yours.”

Penny looked up into the glaring face of Clyde “C-Money” Markum, and a cold jolt of fear ran through her body.

C
arla didn’t even know why she’d let Gerald talk her into going to the Puerto Rican restaurant on Lafayette Street for a bite to eat. She guessed she must have been getting a touch of cabin fever.

Not that she didn’t like being hauled up in the bedroom with Gerald making love to her the way he did. A woman could get used to that kind of loving,
real
quick.

But when they weren’t making love, he wanted to talk. And when they talked, he wanted answers.

She was tired of everybody blaming her, especially since she’d already confessed to the fact that she’d made a mess of things.

She wanted to make a new start. But it didn’t look as if that was going to happen. If it was then God wouldn’t have let C-Money get out of jail at the same time Gerald was cleared.

When she was with Gerald, it was easy to make herself believe they could have a future.

But C-Money wasn’t going to let that happen.

So she had to put distance between them.

Gerald didn’t like the distance; it put him on edge. His being on edge caused him to snap at her and say some stuff you just couldn’t apologize for and take back.

So she left his behind in the restaurant and walked home alone. He could sit there mad forever, for all she cared, and she didn’t even care if C-Money was waiting at the house to finish the job he started. At least she wouldn’t have to deal with Penny and Gerald and their accusing copper eyes, their mean words.

She looked behind her, didn’t see Gerald or C-Money and let out a sigh.

So maybe she wasn’t in
that
much of a rush to run into C-Money’s fist again, but still.

The door to Big Mama’s house was open and she knew she’d locked it. Her first instinct was to run as fast as her feet could carry her. Then she saw those fancy strapped sandals Penny always wore dangling, and she screamed.

C-Money had her baby up against the wall, clutching her by the throat.

Penny was pounding at him with her hands, but she was gasping for breath and it didn’t look good.

Carla didn’t even think about what she was doing. She leaped onto C-Money’s back and started striking him in the head and neck. She clawed at him with her nails and raked as much skin and meat as she could.

“Not my child, you asshole! Not my child! I told you never to touch her again.” She struck him with her fists, but he hardly seemed to notice. It was only the second time she’d ever had the courage to fight back against him. And she was determined the outcome would be different this time.

She’d tried to leave him when he smacked Penny all those years ago. She’d slapped him across the face and told him he had better never touch a hair on her baby’s head again. She’d told him her child’s father would come out of jail to see about him if he did.

That was when C-Money told her if Gerald ever got out of jail he was a dead man. He’d smoke Gerald the way he did that nosy snitch couple. And she wasn’t going to be able to do anything about it.

He’d beaten her pretty badly that night, and even threatened her mother and her child. That was why she’d decided to just leave her mother’s house and move in with Clyde for good. She hadn’t felt as if she had had a choice.

But now she did have a choice, and she was going to go down fighting. She’d die before she let him hurt her child again.

He slung Carla off his back and let Penny slide to the ground.

Carla could tell Penny was still breathing, and she thanked God.

The girl was coughing and holding her neck. But she would live. If it was the last thing Carla did, Penny was going to live through this. She picked herself up off the floor and glared at Clyde.

“You are one stupid little whore.” He ran his hand across the scratches she’d left on his face. Both of his cheeks wore matching red angry lines. He took a step toward her, but she held her ground, not moving an inch.

He backhanded her, and she stumbled but tried to maintain her balance. The second blow had her on the ground, and before she could get up he was kicking her.

Carla looked up and realized that Penny must have taken a page from her book, because she’d caught her breath and was up and on Clyde’s back, pounding away.

Penny’s fist flew and pounded him in the head as her other arm grabbed him in a choke hold. She was hanging on for dear life.

“Leave my mother alone, you bastard! I hate you! I hate you!”

Carla slid away on the floor and tried to get out of Clyde’s reach. She was starting to think they might just be able to take him together. She stood up and took a deep breath. His kicking had aggravated her already sore ribs, but she didn’t let that stop her. She hauled off and kicked him in the groin as hard as she could, and he toppled.

Penny fell with him, but luckily, she fell on top of him, and she continued to pound him in the head and neck.

Clyde was cursing up a storm, but it didn’t matter.

Carla added her kicks to Penny’s punches, and soon Penny was up and kicking him, too. That was how Gerald and Jason found them when they burst into the foyer, a day late and a dollar short.

Carla and her baby girl were kicking C-Money’s old mean, evil behind.

Penny looked in the mirror and frowned at the black-and-blue ring around her neck. One thing was certain—if Carla hadn’t come back when she did, she’d have been in some serious trouble. She went into Carla’s bedroom and got on the bed with her.

Jason had arrested Clyde and taken him downtown to be booked. Carla was going to press charges, and so was Penny. And if Jason was right and the DNA proved that Clyde had actually been the one who murdered those good people, then they wouldn’t have to worry about C-Money for a good long while.

Penny curled up next to Carla on the bed. For the second time in just four days, she’d come too close to losing her mother. She wasn’t going to let any more bad blood fester between them. She hugged her mother the way she’d always hugged her grandmother, the way she had always wanted to hug Carla. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you, too.” Carla hugged her back and wrapped her in her arms. “I never chose any man over you—”

“It’s okay, Carla. It was the past. We don’t have to rehash that. You were right. I had a good childhood with Big Mama. You did the best you could. Let’s just start fresh, huh?”

“But you need to know this. Now, the drugs did have me trippin’. I’ll admit that. But the only reason why I just went on ahead and stayed away is because C-Money threatened you and Mama. And I wasn’t that messed up on crack to risk y’all.”

“It’s okay, Mommy. It’s fine. We’re going to be fine. In fact, we can start our new lives out in L.A., just like you wanted.” Penny hugged Carla tighter.

“L.A.? Chile, please, I said I didn’t choose a man over you in the past…” Carla started giggling like a little schoolgirl. “But I’m staying right here in P-Town with my man Gerald. Girl, I love your daddy so-oo much, and now we can
finally
be together. I’m like Diana Ross in
Mahogany,
girl. I got my ole man back!”

Penny sat up and stared at Carla. “Unh…unh…You mean to tell me that you’ve been nagging me to move you to California since I came back, and now you don’t want to go?”

“That was only because C-Money was threatening Gerald, and you and me, too. Heck, now that he’s behind bars, I’m straight.” Carla smiled and then touched Penny’s face. “Don’t worry, Brat. Me and your daddy will come and visit you in L.A. But shouldn’t you be thinking about moving closer to home to be with your man? What’s up with you and Mr. Po-Po?”

Penny sighed and gave her mother the quick-and-dirty version of how she’d messed things up with Jason, not just once, but twice.

Carla listened, nodded and wiped away Penny’s tears when they fell. And Penny felt mothered by her for the first time.

“Well, I guess you take after me more than we knew. You made some wrong decisions when it came to love, too. But, I’ll tell you this—if that Hightower boy loves you half as much as your daddy loves me, and I think he does, then you can make your way back from this. All you have to ask yourself is, do you really want it? What’re you going to do now? Are you going to run again, or are you going to face your heart?”

Penny sighed.

Why did Carla have to pick now to start giving sane and logical advice?

She had no idea if she was going to be brave enough to face her heart this time. Her cards were on the table, and Jason knew how she felt about him. She guessed she could either wait and see if he could ever forgive her, or go on her merry way, back to Los Angeles.

Decisions…Decisions…