Promising You (The Jade Series #4) (7 page)

“Yeah. Power steering.” Garret’s laughing at me. “It’s been a common feature in cars for the past 20 or 30 years.”

“Well, Ryan’s car doesn’t have it. And that’s the only car I’ve driven other than yours that one time.” I continue to go up and down the parking lot. “When Ryan taught me to drive, he was so worried I’d crash his car. He’s sick of that car now, but back then he loved it. It was his baby.”

“Then I’m surprised he let you drive it.”

“It was right after my mom died. He took me out every night and let me drive. Even after I was already pretty good at driving he still made me practice. I think he just wanted to find something to get my mind off what happened. He didn’t want me sitting in my room thinking about . . . you know, finding her that way.”

Garret puts his hand over mine on the steering wheel. “Why don’t we take a break and go sit on the picnic tables over there?”

I laugh. “Are you getting tired of going around the parking lot? I guess it is kind of boring, especially when you’re not the one driving.” I pull into a space next to the tennis courts.

We go sit on a picnic table by the swings. It’s sunny out, but the wind is chilly.
 

“So you know how you said earlier that you don’t know me as well as you should?” Garret asks.

“Yeah.” I pick up his hand, which is toasty warm, and place it around my cold fingers.

“Well, I feel the same way about you sometimes. I think we need to work on that.”

“Okay, so tell me about yourself.” I gaze into his eyes, smiling. “Do you like long walks on the beach? Sunsets? Rainy days?”

“I’m serious, Jade. You never talk about your past.”

“Neither do you.”

“So I think we should start talking about it.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you’re willing to tell me.”

“Um, okay, but I still need you to be more specific.”

He hesitates and holds my hand a little tighter. “Do you want to tell me about the day your mom died?”

I shrug. “There’s not much to tell. It was a Tuesday. I came home from school, went to use the bathroom and there she was. Lying on the bathroom floor. I yelled at her to get up but she didn’t move. I don’t know why I yelled at her like that. I knew she was dead. Her eyes were rolled back in her head and she had some weird liquid coming out of her mouth.”

Garret watches me as I tell the story, probably thinking I’ll burst out crying. But I never cry over that day. When I think about it, I don’t feel anything really. Maybe I’m a bad person for reacting that way, but it is what it is.

“And then what happened? Did Frank come over? Or who helped you after you found her?”

“Nobody. I just called the police. I wasn’t sure who you’re supposed to call when something like that happens. Frank was at a doctor’s appointment with Ryan. Anyway, the police came over and asked me some questions and the coroner came and took the body away. Then they left and I waited for Frank to get home.”

“You just waited there all alone? And the police allowed that? But you were a minor.”

“I lied and told them my aunt was coming over. I don’t even have an aunt, but I must be a good liar because they believed me.”

“So you went to Frank’s house when he got home?”

“Yeah, and I stayed there that night.”

“And what happened the next day?”

“I just got up and went to school.”

“But your mom had just died.”

“I didn’t want to sit at home all day and think about it. Frank took care of the funeral and whatever else needed to be done. And that’s the story. Now you know.”

“When did it happen?”

“In the fall. Okay, now you have to tell me something about
your
past.”

“When in the fall?”

Dammit. He’s going to make me say it and then he’s going to overreact. This is why I never tell this story.

6

“It happened in October. October 6
th
.”

And there’s the look. Shock and sadness cross Garret’s face, mixed with a good helping of pity.
 

“October 6
th
? That’s just a couple days before your birthday.”

“Yeah, I know when my birthday is.” I pick a rock off the ground and run it along the grooves in the wooden picnic table. “Sometimes I think she planned it that way. The morning it happened she came in my room and told me she was going to order pizza on Thursday for my birthday, which was weird because she never did anything for my birthday. But whatever. She broke her promise, just like she always did.”

Even though I know now that my mom was drugged and didn’t mean to be that way, I still haven’t fully accepted it. And because of that, I still hate her. I feel guilty about that, but it hasn’t changed how I feel about her. I think it’ll just take time.

Garret’s quiet and I can’t stand the look he’s giving me. Like I’m broken because of this one day in my past. Like he has to try and fix me now. Make me whole again.
 

“Well, this is depressing.” I laugh a little to lighten the mood. “Do you want to just leave?”

“No.” He’s still staring at me with that same look.
 

I focus back on the table, digging the rock into a knot in the wood. “I shouldn’t have told you that story. It was 4 years ago, and I hated her so it really wasn’t as traumatic as it sounds. Your story is way more sad. You actually loved your mom and then she died in a plane crash.”

“But I had people around me, helping me get through it. You were all alone.”

“I wasn’t alone. I moved in with Frank and Ryan the next day.”

He takes the rock from my hand and waits for me to look at him. “Is that why you don’t celebrate your birthday?”

“No. I don’t celebrate it because I didn’t grow up celebrating it. It was just another day.” My tone is harsh and I don’t care, because I really don’t like where this conversation is going. I wasn’t prepared to tell him that story and I’m kind of mad at him for even asking. “Are we done? Because I really don’t want to talk about this anymore. What else do you want to know about me?”
 

“Okay. Here’s an easy question.” His face brightens as he thankfully moves on. “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

“I never thought about it. I never thought I’d leave Iowa. But I guess if I had to pick, I’d probably pick some country in Europe. I’ve always wanted to go to England and see a real castle. Have you ever been to a castle?”

“Yeah. Several. I lived in England for a few months.”

“That’s right. Boarding school. I did know
that
about you.”

Some clouds cover the sun making it feel chillier. Garret takes his coat off and drapes it over me.

“I’m not that cold.” I hand it back to him. “You can wear it.”

“You’re sick.” He wraps it around me again and kisses my cheek. “I’m taking care of my patient.”

“For the last time, I’m not sick. I’m injured.”

“Yeah, so let me take care of you. I like taking care of you.”

“That’s sweet, but I don’t need to be taken care of. When I got sick as a kid I used to—never mind.”

“Tell me, Jade.”

“No. You’ll give me that look again.”

“When you were sick you used to what?”

“I just took care of myself. That’s it. My point is that I don’t need someone getting me grilled cheese sandwiches or sitting by my bed all day.”

“You may not need it, but I want to do those things. So go ahead and yell at me, but I’m still taking care of you.”

“So tell me where
you’d
want to go if you could pick any place in the world.”

“I’ve actually already been to all the places I wanted to go. I’ve been to almost every country in Europe. I’ve been to so many tropical islands I can’t remember them all. I went to Australia a couple years ago. You already know all this. You’ll have to ask me a different question.”
 

“Do you think you’ll go back to any of those places?”
 

“I’m going back to all of them,” he says, confidently. “But next time I’m taking you with me.”

The idea of that causes a smile to instantly form on my face. I’ve always wanted to travel to far off places and there’s no other person in the world I’d rather go with than Garret. Thinking of traveling reminds me about spring break.

“Garret what are we going to do for spring break? Your dad said you shouldn’t leave Connecticut.”

“I know. And he’s probably right. I should hide out at home so the photographers can’t get to me. It pisses me off that we can’t fight this, but like my dad said, fighting it will just bring more attention to it. More photos. More articles. More online gossip.”

“Well, I can’t stay here. I need to go home and see Frank and Ryan since I won’t be there this summer.”

“I didn’t expect you to stay here. You should go. You already have your plane ticket.”

“I know, but I really wanted you to come home with me.”

“I’ll go home with you some other time. I can’t have photographers following me around at the airport or showing up at Frank’s house. They’re too aggressive and I don’t want you around that. It’s just a week, which I know will seem like a month, but you fly back on Friday, so we can spend the entire weekend doing whatever you want.” His smile implies he already knows what I’ll want. “Cards. Board games. Movies.”

“After a week apart, I guarantee we won’t be playing board games.” I kiss him. “We should get back. I think it’s time for you to give me another one of your treatments.”

We drop the car off at his house and drive his black BMW back to campus. We eat dinner in the dining hall with Harper, then watch my new TV before going to bed.
 

Garret stays with me again and I realize that I’m starting to get used to having him beside me every night.
 

“I like this,” I say softly to him as he tugs my back closer to his chest.

“I like it, too.” He moves my hair aside and kisses the back of my neck.

“I mean, I like it so much that I want to do this every night.”

“What are you saying, Jade?”

He sits up and I turn over on my back to look at him.
 

“I’m saying I want to live with you next year. I want to get an apartment together in the fall.”

“Really?” I can barely see his face in the dark room but I can hear the happiness in his voice. “But you said you wanted to test out living together this summer first.”

“I don’t need to test it out. I love you and I love being with you and sleeping next to you like this.” I flip on my side to face him. “When we were at Frank’s house and you asked me to move in with you, I really wanted to say yes. I was just afraid to because I wasn’t sure where this was going. But I’ve decided to stop listening to that part of me that keeps telling me this will never work and that I can’t count on anyone, even you.”

“You can count on me, Jade. I promise. I know I screwed up in the past and you didn’t trust me, and I didn’t deserve your trust back then. But I hope I’ve earned it back now. I promise you. I’m a hundred percent committed to this and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I think I’m finally starting to believe that.”
 

“So we’re really doing this? After this semester we’ll be done living in these shitty dorms?”

“Yes. And in the meantime, maybe we could do these sleepovers more than once or twice a week?”

“We could definitely do that.” He gives me a kiss, then lays his head back down on the pillow.

“And Garret?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you for taking care of me. I know I said I didn’t need it but—I do.”

“I know you do. Goodnight, Jade.”

It’s true. He knows exactly what I need even when I don’t. I’m not sure how he knows me so well, but he does. He knows that when I try to push him away, it means I need him even more. And when I say I don’t want to talk, it means I really need to. I’m crazy that way and other guys would’ve given up on me months ago. But Garret’s still here and he isn’t going anywhere. Just thinking about that makes me feel like the luckiest girl alive.
 

Thursday morning I go back to class. I haven’t had any dizzy spells or headaches, so taking a few days to rest was probably a good idea. My knee is feeling better and the doctor said I’ll get the stitches out next Tuesday. Spring break starts a few days later on Friday and I fly out that afternoon for Des Moines.
 

“You’re finally back,” Carson says when he sees me in chemistry class. He takes my crutches and helps me into my seat even though I don’t want or need his help.

“Yeah, I’m better now. And I’m a lot better with the crutches.” It’s my hint for him to stop helping me, but I’m sure it won’t stop him. I haven’t talked to Carson since he came by my room the other day, but he’s been texting and emailing me.
 

“Did you get the notes I sent you? You should have some from physics yesterday and the chem notes from Tuesday.”

“Yeah. I got them. Thanks for doing that.”

“What are your plans for spring break? Are you staying here with Garret?”

“No. I’m flying home on Friday. Garret’s staying here.”

“Why isn’t he going home with you?” Whenever he mentions Garret, Carson’s tone always makes it sound like he’s making an accusation or a judgment.
 

“He’s having some problems with that reality show and all the publicity around it, so he needs to hide out at his house.”

“I’ve seen the promos for that show. The way they promote it, you’d think Garret’s the star of it. And his face is all over the Internet. Well, not just his face. Where do they get all those photos anyway?”

I assume he’s talking about the photos that show Garret shirtless or only wearing swim trunks. They have a ton of them on the website for the reality show. “I don’t know where they get the photos, but they shouldn’t be on the Internet without his consent.”

“Why isn’t Garret’s dad suing the producers? I’m sure he has a whole team of lawyers.”

“He does, but they advised him to ignore it and keep quiet until the show is over.” My laptop’s low battery signal is flashing and I search my bag for the power cord. “So what are your plans for spring break?”