Promises to Keep (22 page)

Jaw
clenched, Jack buried his face in her neck while squeezing his eyes shut tight,
in his effort to hold back. His entire body quivered with unspent raw, primal
energy. His mind flashed with thoughts of pounding into her so hard that the
bed broke.

He
needed the escape. To lose himself in mad, mindless sex.

Self-restraint
was usually not a problem for Jack. Self-discipline had been his lifetime
mantra. How else could he have achieved his goals?

Oh,
he was hard and desperate to come—no doubt about that, but this was all about
her.
Making love to Laura, showing her how much he cared for her.

Controlling
his own needs around her was one of the most difficult things he’d ever done.

He
started moving slowly, gently thrusting in and out, in and out, while stroking
her breasts, kissing her throat and nuzzling into her neck. His plan was to
keep this up until she climaxed.

Laura
cleared her throat. “Jack?”

“Um?”
he murmured and stopped moving.

“Can
I ask you something?”

“Of
course.”

“Are
you holding back?”

“If
you’re asking, am I being careful and gentle because I love you and I want to
make love to you—then, yes. I’m holding back.”

“You
love
me?” she asked in a small voice.

“Yes,
I love you, Laura. I love everything about you.” He didn’t know why he said it,
except that it was an obvious truth.

Laura
just stared at him.

He said
nothing.

Dammit,
just what had he been thinking? Why did he have to blurt that out, now? Hadn't
she had enough emotional tumult today?

Jack
knew that look on her face.
Shit.
After years of experience with his
mother and younger sister, he was well aware that it was pointless to resist.

Laura
had the look of woman who wanted to
talk.

He exhaled
hard, trying not to make it sound like a disappointed sigh. His balls ached and
his entire body was tense, protesting the sudden lack of movement.

Because
she looked so confused, he rolled off of her, and propped his head up on an
arm. “Hey,” he said tentatively.

No
response. Laura seemed preoccupied, so he tried for humor.

“I
want you to know that other than Gabriella Kowalowski—who was very special to
me, as you know—I’ve never said ‘I love you’ to any other woman in the world.
You’re the first.”

That
made her laugh. “A high compliment, thank you.”

“Oh,
except for my mom,” he added. “I was really lucky to have the mother I had. I
wish you could’ve met her—she would have liked you, I know.”

“That’s
nice, Jack. I’m very flattered.” Laura’s cheeks colored slightly and she looked
away. Why she was embarrassed was anyone’s guess.

Jack
was a compartmenting kind of guy. He dealt with things better that way—one
thing at a time, everything in separate boxes, at separate times. Right now he
was keeping a leash on his urgent primal needs.

He'd
practically used up his self-restraint while pleasuring Laura. That was about
all he could manage. He wasn’t up for any long discussion. More specifically,
he had no headspace available to talk about a passionate and emotional subject
like “love.”

Cupping
her cheek, he pressed a gentle, almost chaste kiss on her lips.

“I
love you, Laura. That’s a fact. I don’t think we need to get all worked up over
it, do you? Could we talk about the whole love thing tomorrow, after a good
night’s rest?”

After
taking a moment to think it over she said, “OK, but Jack, I don’t want you to
hold back. I want you to fuck me any way you want. Be rough and hard, or soft
and slow. I don’t care. I promise you, I’ll enjoy it. I guess what I’m saying
is, I can see what you’re trying to do—”

“Laura—”

“No,”
she said quietly, placing her finger on his lips for a moment. Her green eyes
became determined and intense, filled with emotion. “You’re being careful
because you love me—no one has ever loved me like that. I can tell you want me badly,
but you thought of me first. That makes me feel precious and treasured.”

“Then
my work here is done.” He smirked, once more trying to return to a lighter
footing.

Laura
smiled. “But I want you to get what
you
want. No restraints Jack. I have
a tiny inkling of the Hell you’ve been through—you’ve had to hold back for
years. Don’t hold back with me. Just let go. Say what you want.
Do
whatever
you want. I swear that I’ll love anything you do.”

Just
let go.

Jack
froze as a myriad of images ran through his mind. It was some sort of déjà vu.
Just like when he was seventeen, here he was, set loose in a candy shop with
way
too many possibilities.

Yet
this time, Laura
really was
the woman of his dreams.

Jack
felt like an animal that had been denied water, dying of thirst and suddenly
being let lose in front of a lake. Right now, he wanted to dive right in.

“You—you’re
sure?”

Her
green eyes gleamed mischievously, as she nodded assent.

He
rolled on top of her, crushing his mouth against hers. She was pliant and
willing in his arms. He tasted urgency, heat and need—his own and hers. As his
hands explored her body, she gasped and arched into him, straining against him
and wrapping her arms around him.

“God
help me, Laura. More than anything in the world I want to fuck you—”

“Yes!”

“I
need to be inside of you.”

“Yes,
oh please, Jack. Now.
Hurry!”

Her
desperate demand triggered him, removing all hesitation. Raw, primitive
instinct took over.

Laura
cried out as Jack drove himself into her, sinking balls deep inside of her soft,
warm heat with one smooth stroke. He ground his hips against hers, reveling in
the warm, tight feel of her, as she scratched his back and her whole body seemed
to clench.

Laura
moaned.

She wants
this too.

“So
good—feels so good,” he gasped, pulling out and hammering back in again and
again
hard.

“Yes,
Jack, yes!”

He
felt the mattress dip with the strength of his thrusts. It gave him so much animal
pleasure, he did it again and then again and again.

“I
need this, Laura,” he said, and to his surprise his voice broke. He’d never
wanted anyone so much—he’d never
needed
anyone as he needed her,
right
now.

This
woman touched him deeply.

Carefully
erected barriers that had held his emotions in check for years began to
crumble. The heartfelt
feelings
she set free, moved him. Strangely,
inexplicably, Jack felt like weeping.

She
was inside of him, like a poignant song in his soul.

 “
I
need you,
Laura,” he whispered, shocked by the truth of it.

“Then
take me.”

Sweating,
panting and hearts pounding—they clung together, moved urgently together, frantically
hot—fast—hard—until they drove each other to a shattering, mutual climax. Their
gasps, moans and cries mixed in a chorus of passion and satisfaction.

Stunned,
spent and languorously drained, Jack collapsed and lay heavily upon her. The
energy that had been building all day had thankfully dissipated. Grateful, he
rejoiced that his mind had blanked.

Closing
his eyes, he let himself drift.

Laura
lay soft and sweet beneath him. Her breathing had slowed and her heart beat soothingly,
a gentle, rhythmic sound.

This
was peace.

Jack
nuzzled into her neck, pressing a kiss to her throat. “You OK?”

“Oh,
absolutely,” she sighed.

Aware
of his weight, he rolled off of her. He considered pulling her up and on to his
chest, placing her head in the crook of his neck—but changed his mind.

Instead
he cuddled into her, his arm hugging her hips, his head nestling between her smooth,
creamy breasts.

That
was all it took.

Instantly,
he was hard once more.

Casually,
he trailed his hand up her flank and across to the curve of her breast. Then he
flicked her nipple, entranced to see it swell and pucker.

“Oh,”
she said in surprise.

He
chuckled, pressing his erection against her thigh. “Yeah, me too.” Impulsively,
he pushed himself up and kissed her on the nose. “Sexual deprivation taught me
one thing: I genuinely don’t want to have sex with just anyone. I only want to
make love to someone I really care about. I only want you, Laura.”

“Good,
because I want you, too,” she whispered.

Neither
of them got any sleep that night.

It
was chemistry, Jack decided. Or perhaps a result of the proximity to death. It
seemed as if an ocean of need had gathered between them, starting from the
first letter he’d received from her, all of those months ago.

Their
sexual energy couldn’t be exhausted—their mutual desire was molten white heat. Alive
and needy, they expended their passions, reaching to ever-greater heights.

Jack
became bolder, giving in to his every fantasy—taking her exactly as he wanted.
They went on like that ceaselessly, until they both fell into unconsciousness.

Laura
lay next to Jack’s slumbering form. Early morning light shone through the curtains
with an orange glow, casting delicate shadows in every corner of the room.

Shifting
slightly, she noticed how deliciously sore she was. Muscles she didn’t even
know she had were aching.

Laura
turned her head, and smiled when she saw his face, lightly covered in an
unshaven shadow.

Her
heart jumped at the sight of him. He was so damn beautiful.

Last
night had been incredible. Overwhelming. Passionate. Intense. Just how many
orgasms had she had? Jack had the ability to make every cell—every nerve—in her
body come alive.

They
had slept, but not much. She recalled waking up at one point with his chest
pressed against her back, his arm possessively curled around her waist. Jack
had been asleep, his breathing deep and even.

Being
loved by Jack was better than she'd ever imagined. She'd had no idea of what
her body was capable of, or how amazing she could feel. Jack was a sensual and
thoughtful lover, and his intimate caresses set her on fire.

They
had a natural chemistry and bond together, both in and out of bed.

Such
bliss.

Laura
had needed the escape their lovemaking had provided. She needed to immerse
herself in
them
. To let go and release all of the fear, anxiety, and
guilt. The negativity she battled with as a daily part of her existence.

Jack
evoked so many new sensations and feelings in her that stirred her heart and
soul. She craved him desperately—they hadn’t been able to get close enough. She
knew she craved him still.

Laura
looked at his face, relaxed and peaceful as a sleeping child. All of the tightness
and tension that always seemed to be around him was gone.

It
had been the best sex she’d had in her whole life, but it had been more than
sex. Jack had
made love
to her. This attraction between them continued
to grow, connecting and enhancing his every touch.

Jack’s
words went through her mind—she’d never forget them.

“Yes,
I love you, Laura. I love everything about you.”

Her
hand went to her heart, as it felt full and tight. She rubbed it to ease the
sensation. Love was wonderful, but this overwhelming
need
Jack had for
her made her head spin with primal womanly pleasure.

Comforting
him, providing what he wanted, and being there for him—whatever it was she’d
done—had been so incredibly fulfilling. This big, strong, capable man had been
brought to his knees by her.

Jack
had found what he needed within her arms.

Laura
wasn’t stupid. Jack had told her he loved her, and he hadn’t been just saying
that. She’d felt his love. Had he felt hers? Because she no longer had doubts.

I
love him.

It
was a revelation.

Laura
had experienced passionate teenage crushes, and she’d genuinely cared for Bob.
At one point she’d thought she’d been in love with Jonah.

What
she felt for Jack was completely different than anything she’d felt before.

Jack
was such a controlled man, someone who never allowed himself to let go. He'd put
his desperate desires and male urges aside for her. He’d been a generous lover,
kind and gentle.

Laura
felt safe with him.

But
he let go with me, when I asked him to,
her heart whispered as she
remembered the strength of his passion.

Mmmm.
I
let go, too.

Their
night had been magical. The kind of mad passion that inspired love songs and
poetry.

When
she was with Jack, she was able to lose herself in him. She’d forgotten about
the terrible death of her neighbor and the possibility of dying herself.
Immersed in their lovemaking, Laura had abandoned all the shit she'd been
dealing with for all those years—her mother, her debts, that psycho asshole Jonah,
Bob…

Oh
God, Bob
.

A
wave of guilt washed over her. Here she was, lying in bed, happy and in love with
another man—another Navy man, Bob's boss and his friend. That thought made her
feel awful all over again.

How
could something so right feel so wrong?

It
wasn't her fault Bob was dead. She didn't ask for any of this. Or did she?

Uh-oh.
Recognizing
the signs, she knew this is where self-hate and self-destruction crap began to
sink its claws into her. She had to put a stop to it that shit
right now.

Laura
felt close to Jack. He loved her, she trusted him, and she needed to tell him
something.

"Jack?
Are you awake?" she whispered, well aware that he’d drifted off.

"Mm?"
he replied sleepily, contentedly.

"I've
got something on my mind."

"Oh?"

"Yes."
Laura sat up in bed and put her hand on his chest, rubbing it back and forth,
stroking him awake. "I really need to know something.”

It
took a few moments, but he opened his eyes. When she met his gaze, the pleasure
of the previous night flooded back to her.

They
both smiled.

Jack
inhaled a deep breath, stretched his arms out, and exhaled slowly. “OK, night
owl,” he said complacently, checking the digital clock by his bedside.

“It’s
4A.M.,” she said helpfully.

“Of
course it is.” He chuckled and his biceps bulged as he placed his hands behind
his head. “Now, why was I sleeping? When this is clearly the perfect time for a
discussion?”

“Sorry.”
She snickered. “I can’t sleep. I’ve got something on my mind.”

Eyes
heavy-lidded, he sat up against the bedhead. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Can
you tell me how Bob died?”

Jack
suddenly looked much more alert and awake—as if he could turn sleepiness on and
off at will. His faced closed off and his expression was guarded.

“I’m
not sure I understand the question,” he said. “What exactly do you want to
know?”

“Bob
gave you his wedding ring to give me—so he had to have an idea he was going to
die.”

“Yes.”

“How
did he know? Was it obvious or something? I don’t understand.”

“I
told him,” he said quietly. “I knew. His injuries…” Jack shook his head.
“Laura, even if he’d been at the Mayo Clinic, nothing could’ve saved him.”

“What
happened? Was he… did he suffer?”

“Physically,
Bob didn’t feel a thing, I swear,” he told her. “He had morphine on board, but
he was alert, aware and quite lucid right to the end.” Jack cleared his throat.
“Bob told me that he didn’t think he deserved you. He thought you could do much
better than him.”

Her
eyes stung as water welled. “He said that?”

“He
did.”

“It’s
not true, Bob deserved so much.” A few tears escaped, running down her cheeks. Laura
cried softly for a few minutes. Jack didn’t press her, for which she was
grateful.

He waited
silently and patiently until she’d wiped her eyes and blown her nose. When
she’d recovered a little, Jack cupped her cheek in a manner that was so tender,
it almost made her cry again.

Laura’s
breath hitched. “Did he say anything else?”

“Are
you sure this is the time for this, Laura?” he asked. “I mean, you’ve gone
through so much recently. Do you really want me to talk about it
now?
Later may be better.”

“Now,
please.”

Jack
inhaled deeply. “Bob was a good medic, but essentially he was still a kid. What
I mean by that is, he could be irresponsible and a bit lazy. But he died
selflessly and with honor. Bob knew he was going to die when he was brought in with
a number of other casualties. The thing was, I couldn’t stay with him.”

“What
does that mean?”

“I
offered to stay with him… while he passed, you know? No one should die alone—but
here’s the thing. I’ve see many good men and women pass, but I’ll always
remember Bob. What he said stands out in my memory. I was going to tell you
anyway, because it was so…selfless.”

Laura’s
heart bucked as her pulse kicked up. Last words seemed so important. Kind of
like an epitaph for a whole life.

“What
did he say?”

Jack
cleared his throat. “When I offered to stay with him, Bob told me:
You have
work to do, sir. Take care of someone else. Take care of yourself. I’ll be OK.
I don’t mind dying alone. I’ll be thinking of Laura.”