Promise Me Tonight (39 page)

Like her love for James.

Unchanging and immutable.

She had ordered him away in a desperate grab for control, but even then she had known she would never willingly give him up. She just hadn’t wanted
him
to know it. Grown-up behavior, indeed!

Tantalizing visions of true grown-up behavior flitted through her mind and, as if he’d heard them, James turned to face her. His face was calm, but there was an air of tenseness about him.

Slowly, cautiously, Izzie walked toward him, suddenly unsure of her reception. She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to decide her next move when, suddenly, James held out his arms to her.

She ran into them with a happy cry, and then he was holding her so close, wrapping her tightly in his warmth and his strength and, yes, his love. She wanted to laugh, she was so giddy with all the emotions bubbling up inside her. She would burst if she couldn’t somehow release them. She wriggled up higher on his body to cup his face in her hands. Stroking her fingers along the hard edge of his jaw, she gazed into his eyes. Without warning, tears welled up and began running down her face.

James frowned, obviously confused by her crying. “What is it?” he asked gently.

“I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Lord, but you scared me, leaving like that. I was certain you weren’t coming back.”

“Goose. How could I stay away? Your brother is not nearly as scintillating a conversationalist at the dinner table. I only left because I thought that was what you wanted, but I was miserable every moment. I also hoped the portrait might help convince you of the truth of my feelings where the other gifts failed.”

“It’s beautiful,” she sniffed.

“It doesn’t hold a candle to the reality,” he murmured, tracing a finger down the side of her face.

She gave a watery chuckle. “I must say, you’ve rather outdone yourself with this one. I am almost reluctant to let Bride have it—perhaps I will move in here.”

“Your place is beside me,” James growled. “The only chambers you will be moving into are mine. In any case, I have an even better present still planned for you.”

“You know, you don’t need to give me presents. All I truly needed was you.” She tightened her arms around him.

“I’ve missed you so much. It scares me, sometimes, how much I need you. Even if you told me you would break my heart, I fear it would still be yours. Forever and always,
I
am yours.”

“And I am yours.” He kissed her temple. “Always and in all ways. More than just the three ways you once told me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The night of your come-out ball, you told me that you had loved me in three ways. First, you said, was the sort of love a girl feels for her storybook prince. Then, if I recall correctly, you loved me as the fantasy of a young girl’s dreams. Finally, you told me you loved me the way a woman loves the man she knows she is meant to be with.”

“I can’t believe you remembered that. I didn’t think you were even listening to me.”

“I tried to forget. God knows that I tried. But those words were seared onto my brain, into my heart.”

“I love you,” she said again, pressing her body even more closely against his and lifting her head for a kiss.

“And I you.” He bent and dropped a quick kiss onto her mouth. “I have always loved you.”

Isabella rolled her eyes. “James, it’s very sweet of you to say it, but we both know that isn’t true. It doesn’t matter, though. Not now.”

“It
is
true. I just didn’t know it for a long time. Women are far more perceptive in affairs of the heart than we thickheaded men.”

She smiled. “No arguments here.”

“Good, because as much as I adore fighting with you—”

“
What?”

“Come to think of it, it isn’t the fighting bit I like so much as the making-up part.”

She huffed in amused annoyance. “You are utterly ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously in love.”

She snorted.

“See,” he said, “I even love it when you do that.”

“When I do what?”

“When you make that funny little snorting sound.”

“I do
not
snort!” she insisted furiously, but it was hard to be outraged when she knew she did. But wasn’t love supposed to be blind or, in this instance, deaf to such things?

“
And
I love your breasts.”

“What’s wrong with
them
?” she demanded, her arms reflexively rising up between them to cover her chest.

“Oh, nothing is wrong with them. In fact, you have the most exquisite pair I have ever seen, er”—he coughed loudly—“not that I have seen a lot. I just felt like saying it. And you blush so delightfully whenever I mention certain anatomical parts. A month or so spent in bed ought to have you cured of that.”

“
Men
,” she muttered under her breath.

“In any case,” he continued, “I was telling you how I have always loved you.”

“And I was replying that it was total rubbish.”

“Now who is being ridiculous? My love grew and matured over time, just as yours did.” He brought a hand up to cup her face, rubbing his thumb over the pad of her cheek. “I first loved you as a child, probably from the first day we met.” His voice grew deeper, huskier, weaving a spell about her senses. “You were such a precocious little imp. You brought sunshine into the darkest days of my life. The first night I spent under my grandfather’s roof, I wanted to die. Literally. Death seemed preferable to spending a lonely life in this marble mausoleum.”

“Oh, James!”

“Your family made life bearable, more than bearable, really. I almost felt a part of it—that Henry was my brother, and that you were my little sister. It was difficult for me to imagine you in any other way, but on the night of your ball, you and that damnably low-cut dress you were wearing forced me to see you as a woman.”

“Oh, James.” She sighed, nestling her head against his chest.

“The problem was that I wasn’t ready to see you in that light. I had always been able to protect my heart from other women, see, but you were already in there. It terrified me. I didn’t want anyone to have that sort of power over me. At least, that was what I thought. My heart had already accepted you in this new guise, had determined you as my life’s mate.”

“If all that is true, how come
I
was the one sneaking into
your
bedchamber to seduce
you
?” she demanded, poking a finger into his chest.

“Well, I do have my pride,” he admitted with a rueful smile. “And I felt a tremendous amount of guilt.”

“Guilt? Over what?”

“Izzie, you are my best friend’s little sister. As I said, I was used to thinking of you as a sister. Compromising you, having any lustful thoughts about you at all, just seemed utterly wrong. It not only felt like a betrayal of Hal, but I came off feeling like the worst sort of lecher.”

“I recall rather enjoying your
feelings
that night.”

He playfully swatted her bottom, gave a gentle squeeze, and she couldn’t prevent her body from arching up against him.

“Here I am, pouring my heart out to you, and all you can think about is sex!” he reprimanded.

“Mmmm . . . It’s rather remarkable how the tables have turned,” she said with relish.

“Quiet, wench, and listen up. You’ll not get another declaration like this for at least a year. A man can only store up so much romance in his soul, and I am exhausting it all here.”

“If you think telling me you love my”—she paused, then dropped her voice to a whisper—“my
breasts
is romantic . . .”

“Trust me, the best is yet to come. I was just warming up. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, I started loving you as a woman the night of your ball, but I didn’t realize it until I was at sea. You were constantly in my thoughts. I remember telling Ethan it felt as if I had left a piece of myself behind.”

“Ethan?”

“An old school chum from Eton. He captains the
Theseus
. No, don’t look so sour. The man saved my life in more ways than one. It was he who suggested I had fallen in love with you even before I left. He made me see that I was letting fear and anger dictate my life, and that I was selfishly refusing to take the wondrous gift that had been offered to me. You. The warrior queen who fought for me when I wouldn’t fight for myself. My savior.”

The lump in her throat had grown so large, Isabella could hardly swallow. “You were right,” she choked out. “It got much better.”

“And I haven’t even finished yet,” he teased.

“There’s more?” She laughed, producing that sort of odd gurgling noise one makes when laughing while trying not to break down into sobs. “Just give me a moment to prepare myself.”

She relaxed against him, her ear against his chest, calmed by the rhythmic beating of his heart. A heart that beat for her. Because he loved her—really
loved
her. Yes, he had given her the words that night in the library, but she hadn’t truly believed he loved her in the way she loved him.

She took her own love for him for granted, but just as she had changed over the past year, the way she loved him had changed, too. When she had married him, there had still been that impossible, storybook expectation of perfection, but his uncertainties and vulnerabilities only made him dearer to her now.

Before, he had merely completed her heart. Now, he swelled it until it was nigh bursting from her chest. She felt light-headed and deliriously happy. She had a husband she loved with her whole heart and, miraculously, he seemed to feel the exact same way about her. It was a forever sort of love—exactly what she needed from him but had scarcely allowed herself to hope for.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

She was. Whatever life had in store for them, she was ready for it.

Isabella lifted her head and met his gaze. “Ready,” she responded.

“Good. Because once I finally get this out, when I have exhausted my supply of romance, I am sweeping you off to a sweet little love nest I’ve created, and I am keeping you there until the
rest
of me is exhausted!”

Izzie groaned. “I shouldn’t have stopped you. I should have known you would become sidetracked. What
was
I thinking?”

James lowered his head until they were eye to eye. “When you’re bawling,” he said, “just remember you asked for this.” He took a deep breath. “I fell in love with you all over again in Scotland. You are the mother of my children, our darling Bride and all the unborn ones to come.

“You are the love of my heart and my hope for the future. Your face is the last thing I want to see when I go to bed each night, and I want to wake every morning knowing you are cuddled beside me. You are the missing piece of my puzzle, the only person who can make me whole.

“I learned the hard way that without you by my side, I am a lost, broken man, never truly happy, never quite complete, wandering aimlessly through a gray mist. You are the sunlight that warms my soul, and you helped me grow into and become a man I never dreamed I could be.”

“Are you done?” she asked, her voice wavering.

“Ye-es.” The warily voiced word was more a question than a statement. “Why? Did I leave something out?”

She shook her head and flung herself against him, sobbing uncontrollably.

“I did warn you,” he noted, dropping a kiss on her head, “but no more crying, my love.” He gently wiped the tears from her face. “I have another surprise for you.” He pulled a piece of black silk from his pocket and began to tie it around her head.

“You’re blindfolding me?”

He paused. “Are you objecting?”

“Not if I may do the same to you someday.”

James chuckled and swept her up in his arms. “Anytime, my love, anytime,” he responded, and began heading downstairs. Izzie closed her eyes and rested her head against the muscled plane of his chest. Wherever he was taking her, she was more than happy to go.

When the blindfold was finally removed and Isabella realized where they were, her jaw dropped. James had completely transformed the folly—their folly—making it over into an exotic sultan’s den. Swags of jewel-colored silk flowed out from the center of the ceiling and ran down the walls to form glimmering puddles on the floor. While she stared in amazement at his efforts, her husband lit the candles scattered about the room. Quilts and pillows were heaped in a cozy pile before the softly glowing fire. It was exactly as he had said—a sweet little love nest.

“Well?” he asked, coming to stand before her.

“It’s perfect.” She sighed. “But . . .”

“But?”

“But”—she poked his chest, and then trailed her finger slowly down to the top of his breeches—“you must have been awfully sure of yourself.”

“I told myself it was impossible to love someone so much without being loved in return.”

“You were right.”

“And I had your maid send me daily reports detailing how you were pining away in my absence.”

“She did not!”

“No,” he admitted, “she did not, but it’s nice to have it confirmed that you missed me as much as I missed you.”