Promise Me Light (30 page)

“That’s why we need supplies. Think of it as donating to a good
cause,” the leader added, his grin widening. Suddenly his smile
slipped off of his face and his voice turning serious. “Now, boys,
take it all. Empty the place. The barn too.”

The soldiers flew into action, opening cabinets and yanking things
out. Cans, containers of food, bottles of sterilized water. It was all
set on the table. Everything we owned. A few of the men ran outside.
They’re going to find the canned meat.

Eva looked over at me, her eyes round and full of tears. I saw Janice
shaking, her eyes glued straight ahead. Cash and Ryder stood motionless,
watching as the men came and went from the kitchen, putting everything
they found on the table.

Gauze, Band-Aids, a bottle of rubbing alcohol. It was all sitting
there. I was glad I had hidden some of my things beneath the bed. Call
it a hunch or call it being neurotic but Ryder had made me hide items
around the house. It was almost like he had a feeling something dire was
going to happen.

After what seemed like forever, the soldiers were done. Cans of meat
and vegetables sat on the table along with containers of dried beans and
rice, a few candles, some of our medical supplies, and a usable
flashlight.
What would we do now?

“Load it up, boys,” the leader told his men, signaling for them
to head out.

The men grabbed armfuls of supplies and started carrying them
outside. I watched as our things disappeared like they had never
existed. Gone in a blink of an eye.

Before walking out the door, the leader stopped and turned to face
us.

“By the way, we’re taking any gasoline you have left. And don’t
try to follow us or you will regret it.” With one more pointed stare,
he saluted us, the move a parting insult from someone just playing
soldier.

“Your country appreciates your support,” he said before walking
out the door. The rest of his men followed. Paul was the last to leave,
his eyes lingering on Ryder with hate.

As soon as the door slammed shut, everyone flew into action. Brody
ran to Eva, gathering her in his arms. Janice put her face in her hands,
sobs shaking her body. Cash withdrew a knife from his boot (
why am I not surprised he had something hidden?)
while
Gavin jumped out of his chair, sliding it across the floor. They both
raced to the back door, swinging it open to watch the soldiers leave.
The sound of revving engines roared through the house, a noise I
hadn’t heard in a while.

I got to my feet, going to Ryder.

He stared at me, his stance wide and the muscles of his arms pulled
taut. His face looked terrible, cuts and bruises appearing everywhere.
Blood spotted his shirt and dripped from his nose. Watching me approach,
he looked wary. His hands were still tied in front of him, the rope
cutting into his skin.

Stopping by him, I bent over to lift one leg of my jeans. The top of
my head brushed against his thigh. I heard him inhale swiftly.

Ignoring his reaction, I reached inside my sock, pulling out a small
pocketknife. Flipping it open, I straightened up, the small blade in my
hand.

Ryder looked down at the knife in my hand. “You had that on you the
whole time, Maddie? I swear, do you know what they would have done if
they found it?” he scowled, angry.

Lifting his bound wrists, I started sawing away at the rope, the
small blade not making much difference.

“Cool it, Ryder, I’m fine,” I muttered, keeping my eyes on what
I was doing.

But I wasn’t fine. As Ryder towered over me, tears splashed down my
cheeks. He was bleeding. I was shaking.
We’re going to
starve.
We had very little food. Nothing except what was in Roger
and Janice’s safe room. The meat we had canned and the extra emergency
stash of food was all that was left. It would never be enough for eight
people.

We’re in trouble.

As I sawed at the rope, one of my tears fell, landing on Ryder’s
wrist. He flinched when another one hit his hand.

“Maddie?”

I looked up, sniffing. Using the back of the hand holding the knife,
I swiped my nose. It was a very unladylike gesture but manners were not
high on my list at that moment.

“I’m fine,” I snapped, a little too harshly as tears drowned my
eyes. “I just want to get you out of this damn rope. You’re
bleeding,” I said, sawing the rope faster.

“Don’t worry, I don’t need you to help me,” Ryder grumbled,
pulling his bound wrists out of my grasp.

I felt pain slice through me, cutting me deep. On a normal day I
might have told him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine but this
wasn’t a normal day. We had been robbed and he had been beaten. He was
hurt and I was scared. There was nothing normal left in this world.

I couldn’t hold back the sob that escaped between my pale lips.
When another one slipped out, all the anger disappeared from Ryder’s
face.

“Somebody untie me!” he roared.

Brody rushed over to Ryder’s side, his bowie knife ready. Standing
over me, Ryder held out his hands, watching as Brody’s knife easily
sliced through the rope around his wrists. When he was free, Ryder
wrapped his arms around me.

He didn’t say anything, he just held me.

That’s all I needed. Like a healing balm to my soul, his arms gave
me peace. But then the bubble burst.

“Let’s go, Ryder!” Gavin yelled from the backdoor. “We need
to go check on Dad!”

Ryder’s back stiffened. I think hearing Gavin’s voice brought
everything back to him. The kiss. The anger. Our fight.

His arms dropped away from me. Taking a step back, the coldness had
returned to his eyes.

Without another word Ryder walked away, but not before his body
brushed against mine, letting me know he wasn’t done with me yet.

I closed my eyes, the sensation of him against me too much. The
feeling of him walking away from me, depressing. The knowledge that we
had very little food, indescribable.

Hunger. It was just one of many things that could have broken me.
Death. Violence. Grief and sadness. They had tried to conquer me and
lost. Now, I faced another enemy, one that would torture before it
killed. Hunger, an ugly creature that gnawed at a person’s stomach. A
symptom of the starving.

Things looked bleak. There was enough food for a month, maybe two if
we really did without, but after that, we were going to become very
hungry. When that happened, the game changed. Our reality would be
thrown a fastball. One I hoped we could catch.

Roger showed up minutes after the militia left, distraught and
desperate to make sure everyone was okay. The men had cleaned out their
supplies also, even taking some bedding and basic household goods.
Thankfully, they hadn’t found the secret stash of food hidden beneath
Janice and Roger’s barn floor. It was our saving grace, the little
safe room stuffed with food in preparation for emergencies just like
this. Buckets of rice and beans. Cans of food and packages of dried meat
and fruits. It wouldn’t last forever but at least we had something.
Not many people in the country could say that.

Ryder avoided me like the plague the rest of the day, letting his mom
patch him up his cuts instead. I didn’t let him see how much that
hurt, but more than anything I was angry. Mad that the men took our
supplies. Angry that Ryder was back to being standoffish.

It was dark, the cold trying to push itself into the house when I sat
down at the table for dinner. Brody, Cash, and Eva were already seated,
silently eating the chicken soup that Janice had made earlier, using
only canned chicken and water. It was nice and hot, not exactly the best
soup I had ever tasted, but what was the old saying? ‘Beggars can’t
be choosers?’ Pretty soon, we might be the beggars.

No one spoke as we ate, everyone depressed and worried about our
situation. I stirred my tiny bowl of soup, watching as the steam rose
and disappeared in the kerosene light. Lifting a spoonful to my mouth, I
wondered how many dinners like this we would have in the future - water
seasoned with whatever we had on stock.

I glanced up when Ryder sat down across from me, avoiding looking my
direction. I decided to do the same. I didn’t want to see the disgust
in his eyes anyway.

Gavin took the only empty chair left – the one right next to me.
His arm rubbed against mine every few seconds since we were all crowded
around the table. I scooted over to give him more room and snuck a peek
at Ryder.

His face was bruised and one eye was swollen from fighting with the
men. He looked dangerous and pissed off mad.
So how come
I want to grab him and haul him to bed?
Clearing my throat I
forced my attention back to my soup.

The only noise in the room was the clinking of spoons against bowls.
The fire in the makeshift heater that Brody had designed kept us warm as
we ate. I had removed my jacket as my body grew warm from the fire and
the hot soup.

Cash and Brody started talking about making a trip to town, wanting
to find out if what the militia said was true; that the enemy was being
forced out. Eva was all ears. Despite the danger she wanted to search
for her parents. The last time she saw them, they were forcing her out
the door, sending her to the country to escape any danger.

I was listening to them talk when Ryder leaned over the table,
pouring his soup into my empty bowl. I stared at him with shock and
astonishment.

He didn’t look at me, just picked up his glass of water and took a
long sip.

My bowl was now full of steaming soup. A second helping. Something
that wasn’t a big deal months ago. Now it was everything.

Ryder gave up his food for me. He would go hungry
tonight for me.

“Thank you,” I whispered, picking up my spoon.

He finally looked at me. The sharpness in his eyes couldn’t hide
what he just did for me.

He cared.

Gavin nudged my side, grabbing my attention. Leaning over, his head
bent close to mine.

“Don’t stare it in the eyes. It makes it angry,” he whispered,
dramatically. “Out in the wild like this, it has been known to attack
innocent bystanders for looking at it directly. We must be careful not
to wake the beast.”

“Gavin, what are you doing?” I hissed under my breath, sneaking a
nervous peek at Ryder.

Ryder’s eyes narrowed in a glacial stare. His spoon was frozen in
his hand, gripped firmly and going nowhere.

The sides of Gavin’s mouth shot up in a grin. He glanced at Ryder
with a challenge in his eyes, smirking. I heard Ryder’s spoon hit the
plate, sounding like a cannon going off in the quiet room.

Gavin leaned toward me again. “Someone has to make you smile. If
Ryder…”

He never finished the sentence.

Ryder’s chair fell on the floor as he jumped to his feet. With one
leap, he was across the table. Dishes, soup, and water went flying,
covering everything in its path. Warm soup hit my chest, soaking my
shirt and pants, but I didn’t have time to worry about it.

Ryder grabbed the front of Gavin’s shirt and hauled him up out of
his seat. Before Gavin could fight back, Ryder threw him up against the
wall.

Brody and Cash jumped to their feet, Eva and Janice following. Roger
stayed seated, watching it all with calmness.

The mess, the broken dishes, the soup – they were all ignored.

“You still trying to take my place,
brother
?” Ryder spit, getting in Gavin’s face.

I jumped up from my chair, watching with horror as Ryder slammed
Gavin against the wall again. The soup on me was forgotten. The liquid
running down my clothes was not important.

“I asked you a question!” Ryder shouted, shaking Gavin. “DO YOU
WANT TO TAKE MY PLACE?”

“No,” Gavin answered, thrusting his chin up obstinately. “Why?
You want me to? Because if you do, I’ll be glad to take your
place.”

Ryder’s fist landed in Gavin’s stomach, doubling him over. He
recovered in seconds, landing a solid blow to Ryder’s side. But Ryder
fought back, using his elbow to whack Gavin in the jaw. Once, twice.
Again and again.

I scrambled forward to break them up, tired of all the fighting.
Enough!

Then something happened. I stopped. The fog in my head cleared.
Staring at them, beating each other up over me, seemed…ridiculous.
They had been fighting like this since they were kids. As silly as it
sounded, it was the way they were. They loved each other but they were
both type As with too much testosterone. If they needed to do this,
I’d let them. My daddy would have called it ‘blowing off a little
steam.’

“Maddie! Control your boyfriend!” Brody shouted, watching as
Ryder plowed his fists into Gavin.

“No. I don’t think so,” I said, calmly. Turning around, I
walked out of the kitchen, leaving the men to do whatever they wanted to
each other.

“Maddie? Where are you going?” Eva called out as I walked down
the hallway.

Turning around, I walked backwards, answering her. “I’m changing
clothes, Eva. Let them beat each other up. I’m done!”

“That’s my girl,” she said, smiling.

~~~~

Before heading to the bathroom, I grabbed some clean clothes. Using a
crank flashlight that I had to crank a minute or two to get eight
minutes out of, I stripped out of my pants and shirt in the chilly
bathroom.

I tried turning the faucet, hoping Brody’s makeshift rigging of
pipes could produce some water. Nothing.
The water must
be frozen.
A big plastic container set outside collected
rainwater and operated on pressure and gravity alone; but it was not
protected from the freezing temperatures. Today the system was not
working.

So I used the clean water someone had brought in instead. Wetting a
wash cloth, I started rubbing my chest, wiping the soup away. I hurried
as goose bumps popped up across my skin. I smelled like chicken but that
was okay; I was clean. I put on a new shirt, one of Ryder’s that hit
me at the knees.