Promise Me Forever (9 page)

“T
om is the Earl of Sachse.”

Sitting within her cousin’s parlor, Lauren let the words she’d just announced expand to fill the space separating them. She’d awoken early, following only a few hours of sleep, after a fitful night of dreams in which the ship she was traveling on was continually tossed back onto English shores by incredibly large waves. At one point, she’d tried swimming the Atlantic, only once again to find herself back where she started. Upon awakening, she’d actually been exhausted by her tribulations.

She’d needed to talk with someone she trusted, someone who would understand. So as soon as
her maid, Molly, had helped her dress for the day, Lauren had sent for a carriage, even though the hour was unfashionably early. Thankfully, her relationship with Lydia went beyond mere blood to include devoted friendship, and it wasn’t governed by the movement of the hands on a clock.

“
Your
Tom?” Lydia asked, yawning, sitting in a nearby chair, her bare feet tucked beneath her. She tugged on the sash of her emerald green satin robe as though she needed to do something to prevent herself from falling back to sleep.

Resisting the urge to crack her knuckles—because ladies did not allow their bodies to make unseemly noises—Lauren glared at Lydia for being so blasé about this whole situation. Of course, the fact that she was barely awake might have some bearing on her reaction.

“He’s not
my
Tom. But, yes,
that
Tom, the one we both knew in Texas.”

“That’s incredible. How did this come about?”

“He’s the son—”

“I understand that part, and I’ve heard all the stories about the lost lord, but my word, Lauren, he’s a man we know. I danced with him in Texas at my birthday party when I turned eighteen.”

She was surprised by the flare of jealousy that remark ignited. “You never mentioned that.”

“I knew you were pining for him—”

“I wasn’t pining for him.”

“Yes, you were, but that’s neither here nor there
now. Tom is Lord Sachse.” Lydia shook her head. “I’m not sure London is ready for a lord accustomed to doing things his way.”

“I can pretty much assure you that it’s not, which brings me to my visit. I need your help.”

“Of course. What ever do you need?”

Lauren came to her feet and began pacing in front of the fireplace where a low fire worked to ward off the chill of the morning. She was grateful that Lydia’s husband, Rhys Rhodes, the Duke of Harrington, had possessed the decency to make a tactful retreat after Lauren assured them that nothing was horribly wrong.

“My help,” Lydia prodded.

“I’ve agreed to teach Tom what he needs to know to survive here.” She stopped pacing and faced her cousin. “I know it’s rather short notice, but I thought my first lesson would involve dining, and I was hoping you might see your way clear to host a small dinner party this evening.”

“How small?”

“The four of us, plus Gina and Devon.”

“Consider it done.”

Lauren returned to the gold brocade chair. “Thank you. I thought if we kept the dinner intimate it might help Tom feel not quite so self-conscious if he makes a mistake.”

“I can’t imagine the Tom I knew in Texas being self-conscious about anything.”

“There’s a lot to learn.”

Lydia studied her for a moment. “But that’s not what’s troubling you. What else did you want to tell me?”

Lauren felt the tears sting her eyes. “All these years Tom wrote me. Mother destroyed his letters before I had a chance to see them, destroyed the ones I wrote him before they were mailed.”

“I can’t believe Aunt Elizabeth would do something so underhanded. Why would she do such a thing?”

“She thought it would make it easier for me to adjust to life over here if I didn’t have reminders of life back there.”

“But she gave you my letters.”

“Exactly. I think she was more afraid that I’d run away to be with Tom.”

Lydia smiled softly. “Are you going to do that now that he’s here?”

“I sneaked out of the house to be with him last night.”

Lydia raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“We rode through the streets of London in his carriage, watched the stars for a bit, and struck a bargain for me to teach him. At the end of the Season, he’ll provide me with passage to Texas.”

“Who’s idea was that?”

“He made the offer, and I accepted.”

“Your acceptance surprises me. You’ve always wanted to go back to Texas, but I suspected Tom was the reason—if not in whole, then at least in part. Now that he’s in England, I assumed—”

“That I would give up my dream of returning to Texas? No, Lydia. I’ve never felt comfortable here. I’ve never felt as though I belonged.”

“You hid it well, Lauren. My goodness, you guided me through the maze of English etiquette. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t held my hand.”

“You would have done just fine. You published a blasted book on the subject.”

“Etiquette that I gleaned from all the letters you wrote me over the years.”

Lauren sighed. “Don’t you ever feel like you’re living in a little box over here? That if you try to break out of it, they’ll just nail it shut?”

Lydia visibly shuddered. “You’re describing a coffin. Don’t be so maudlin.”

“I don’t mean to be. I just never really expected to spend the remainder of my life over here.”

“I don’t understand why you find such fault with it.”

A servant appeared in the doorway, quietly entered the room, and set a tea ser vice on the table beside Lydia. “Thank you,” Lydia said.

Lauren held her silence while the servant left, and Lydia began preparing a cup of tea for her guest. Despite the early hour and the fact that she’d been roused from slumber, her cousin looked incredibly content.

“You truly do love it here, don’t you?” Lauren asked.

Lydia peered over at her and smiled softly. “I truly do. If you’ll forgive my boldness, I think the difference between us is that I have someone here whom I love with all my heart. I think you’ve had a difficult time of it because you left your heart in Texas.”

“You think I left my heart with Tom?”

Lydia gave her a pointed look. “Didn’t you?”

“That was so long ago, we were such different people. I came to understand that more clearly when I was with Tom last night. When he kissed me, it wasn’t the kiss of his youth.”

The teacup rattled as Lydia set it on the tray, scooted up in the chair, and leaned toward Lauren. “What? You completely overlooked revealing that juicy tidbit. When did he kiss you?”

“In the garden, then later to seal our bargain. And I owe him a debt that I feel certain he’s going to expect me to pay before I leave for Texas.”

“What debt?”

Only to Lydia could she dare confess the not-quite-proper behaviors of her youth and Tom’s daring proposition. “Before I left Texas, Tom paid me a quarter to unbutton my bodice, and I never carried through on my part of the bargain.”

“Are you telling me that he’s expecting you to unbutton your bodice?” Lydia was smiling brightly.

“It’s not amusing,” Lauren said pointedly.

“I’m not saying that it is, but you were fourteen. I’ve always thought Tom was an intelligent man, but this is downright silly.”

“Apparently he doesn’t think so.

“‘Why are you here, Tom?’ I asked.

“‘I’ve come to collect a debt,’ he had the audacity to announce for all the world to hear.”

“Perhaps it was a debt that Ravenleigh owed him.”

“No, if you’d been there to see the intensity of his gaze, you would have had no doubt what debt he was referring to.”

“Your mother always considered him to be a bad influence. I’m beginning to see why. Although perhaps she’ll find him more acceptable now that he’s titled.”

“Ironic, isn’t it? She’ll find him more acceptable while I’ll find him less.”

“Why would you find him less?”

“His life is about to become all the things I’ve never liked.”

“You like balls, parties, and entertaining.”

“Where a woman can’t speak her mind, politics, or religion. Where a woman is ushered out of the room so men have an opportunity to engage in manly endeavors, such as smoking and drinking. Where all behavior is watched and commented on.”

“And what if you discover you still have a place in his heart?”

“Highly unlikely. He’s provided me with the means to leave. Why would he do that if he wanted me to stay?”

“Oh, Lauren, don’t you see the truth of it? He’s a man, and if he’s anything like Rhys, he finds it incredibly difficult to express his true feelings. Perhaps he feared rejection if he asked you to stay.”

“And so he gave me the means to leave?”

Lydia shrugged. “Who can decipher a man’s logic?”

“And what of this silly debt he thinks I owe him?”

A wicked gleam came into Lydia’s eyes. “Tell him if he behaves himself, you might just pay it.”

Having missed dinner the night before, Lauren was incredibly hungry. After returning from Lydia’s, she went to the small dining room, where breakfast was always served with an elaborate assortment of offerings spread over the side table. She had to admit that she would no doubt miss the varieties available to her at Ravenleigh’s homes, always laid out for casual enjoyment.

On her plate, she placed buttered eggs with tomatoes, kippered salmon, and toast with marmalade. Much more was offered, but she decided those would suffice for the morning. A footman pulled out a chair for her, and Lauren took her place. She was rather surprised that her parents weren’t there yet. Her stepfather’s pressed newspaper was still set beside his place setting, so she knew he had yet to come down for breakfast. She wondered if her mother had as difficult a time
sleeping as Lauren had. If so, she suspected her stepfather had as well.

She stared at her plate, suddenly once again without an appetite. Surely Lydia had only been teasing about Lauren fulfilling her promise to Tom, although the notion was certainly intriguing. And why not carry through on her promise? Once she left England, her life would begin anew, just as it had before when she left Texas. She didn’t know why a tinge of sadness crept in with the thought of beginning over.

Lydia had identified correctly that Lauren really didn’t know Tom, at least not the Tom who had appeared the previous day. Even if he had come for her, she couldn’t honestly say she would have left with him. Lady Blythe had also spoken true. Who knew what sort of influences he’d had over the years?

She knew her stepfather’s brother and his friends had played some role in the man that Tom had become. That couldn’t be helped. After all, he’d been working for them. But so had a whole host of other men. It was childish to think that she had any idea of the kind of man Tom had become.

Glancing up at the click of footfalls, she watched as her mother and stepfather walked into the room. Neither looked well rested. Neither went to the side table. Her mother sat in the chair beside Lauren’s, her stepfather took the chair on the other side of her mother, providing as he always did an
air of solidarity. During all the years they’d been there, Lauren couldn’t recall a single moment when he hadn’t given her mother his full support when it came to the manner in which she’d disciplined her daughters. Lauren wondered if he’d approved of her mother’s thievery regarding the letters written between two young lovers.

“You’re up early,” her mother said, as though she needed something to break the tension that had been left between them the night before.

“I had some matters that needed to be taken care of.”

Her mother nodded as though she knew exactly what those matters were when in truth, she couldn’t have even a hint of an idea. Lauren’s days of sharing her worries, concerns, and plans with her mother were over.

Her mother sighed. “I owe you an apology. Ten years’ worth as a matter of fact. I thought I was doing what was best.”

“Mother, I’m sure a day will come when I’ll forgive you, but unfortunately, that day isn’t today.”

“I don’t expect it to be today, Lauren. If I had it to do over…” Her voice trailed off.

Ravenleigh placed his hand over her mother’s fist where it rested on the table. Lauren could tell that he’d squeezed it gently, could see the love for her and for her mother reflected in his kind eyes. Her mother nodded as though Ravenleigh had communicated his thoughts to her.

“Before we left Texas,” her mother began, “I sold the farm and placed the money in a trust your stepfather has guarded like a hawk over the years. It was my intention to give you your portion on the day that you married, a final gift from your father. I’ve decided to give it to you early, so you’ll have the means to provide for yourself—at least for a while—after you return to Texas. Your stepfather has offered to purchase your ticket for passage. He thinks we could manage to have everything settled so that you could leave within a week.”

Lauren felt the tears sting her eyes. It hurt to see how much it cost her mother to let her go. Her chest tightened painfully with the evidence not only of her mother’s love, but her stepfather’s as well. He’d always been so good to her, and she had little doubt that it was his influence more than her angry words flung at her mother that had turned the tide. Using her linen napkin, she wiped her tears, hardly able to find the words needed to express her gratitude. She held Ravenleigh’s gaze when she rasped, “I can’t tell you how much your generosity means to me, how much it’s always meant to me. My share of my father’s legacy will be well taken care of, and as generous as your offer is to pay for my passage, I’ve made other arrangements—”

“It’s not necessary for you to work at that shop,” her mother interrupted.

“I know. I’m planning to give notice of my leav
ing this morning. I’ve made arrangements with Tom. He’s going to provide for my passage in exchange for which I’ll teach him what he needs to know.”

Her mother looked stunned, Ravenleigh didn’t look quite so surprised, and she wondered what, if anything, he and Tom may have talked about while alone in the library.

“I see,” her mother finally said. “Well…”