Promise Bridge (18 page)

“With the truth,” he said with utter conviction. “I tell ’em any journey worth takin’ is gonna be hard and treacherous, ’specially if the path is new and untried. Not everyone will make it. Some don’t even have the gumption or know-how to venture off their massa’s property. I tell ’em the first steps is the hardest ’cuz it is jes’ a beginning. We don’t know fo’ sure where our footsteps will take us, and there is no promise o’ glory in the end. But I remind ’em that a beginning can only take hold if the journey continues. Even when delivered the worst kind of heartache and pain, our footsteps need to keep goin’ forward if we believe in the path we is followin’.”

“In the end, did you find the journey to be worth the risk and effort?”

“Well, the North ain’t the land o’ milk and honey I imagined.” He smiled with a tinge of sadness. “Our journey did not end when we stepped foot on free soil. But it is still a beginning. At least with our arms and legs free of chains, the journey can move forward. When it’s time fo’ me to lay down and die, then the journey will continue with my children, and their children beyond. It’s a promise bridge of the greatest kind.”

Overwhelmed by his vision, I shook my head in wonder. “Is there no end or reward?”

“Does anybody’s journey ever end?” he asked circumspectly. “Or does it continue in those that come from them, both friend and kin?” He paused to collect his thoughts until his face warmed with prideful determination. “Fo’ me, the reward is in the now, knowing a new and special journey has been put in motion because we made sure the beginning took hold by stayin’ strong and puttin’ one foot in front of the other so we can keep movin’ ahead on the path. Most of us stayed together and are settled in the mountains of Pennsylvania. The horizon ain’t much different from here, but the view is a mite prettier when you is lookin’ through the eyes of freedom. Even hardships look different when they ain’t forced on you by a massa.”

Marcus’s face was filled with accomplishment and purpose. I was in awe of devotion so strong, it would bring him back into the belly of the beast. He was like no man I ever met. Contentment flowed through me as we sat and talked, although the pleasure was short- lived when it dawned on me that his return would mean Livie’s exodus. Or did it?

“Did you say you are venturing south?”

“That’s right,” he said, offering me an ashcake. I declined and watched him devour it. “I want to bring more folks out if I can.”

“Marcus, that’s too dangerous.”

“I gots’ta,” he said, matter-of-fact. “There is folks like me all over the South, cryin’ and prayin’ to be delivered into freedom and given the chance at a new beginning.”

“Why you?” I said, fearful at the risk he was taking. “Coming back for Livie is perilous enough, but at least I understand how a soul can put oneself in jeopardy for someone you love. Why take further risk by going south?”

“Because I know the way.” Marcus swallowed what was left of the ashcake and brushed the soot from his hand. “The stars talk to you if you know how to listen, and signs point the way if you know what to look fo’. What kind o’ selfish man would I be if used what I know fo’ only me and mine?”

His words nudged my heart. “When will you leave?”

“Tonight,” he said. “By the light o’ the moon.”

“What am I to tell Livie?”

Standing and pacing, he considered my question. “Don’t tell her I been here and gone. She is hardheaded enough to come lookin’ fo’ me. It’s best if she don’t know, ’cuz there is no tellin’ how much time will pass befo’ I make it back.” His eyes grew soft when he looked over at me. “If I get caught or killed, she won’t be heartbroke all over again.”

“Don’t say such an awful thing,” I choked out, as he gathered his things into a satchel. However, it was just his way of being practical, so I steadied my emotion. “At least let me bring you some food for your journey.”

“I got plenty.” He nodded thankfully as he wrapped a generous portion of cheese and dried beef in a cloth before tucking it with the rest. What a sharp contrast to how ragged and hungry he had been the first time he passed through. Obviously, I was not his only stop along the way. He scuffed dirt over the embers in the pit, snuffing the flame.

“The sun is settin’,” he said with a glance toward the faded orange glint leaking through the gap in the rocks far above. “Ain’t gonna send you off in the dark.” He squeezed my hand gently in his. “I’ll walk you down as far as the tree line, and then I gots’ta be on my way.”

Marcus skillfully led me through the twilight. We did not speak and our hands did not part until we reached the trees bordering the upper field. Once there, he took my other hand as well, letting our fingers intertwine. He turned them up between us as he had the first time we parted when he asked for my promise to care for Livie. This time he asked nothing of me. Ripples of moonlight cascaded across his mahogany skin, revealing tender temptation as he ran his eyes over every curve of my face as if etching it into memory. I tensed with disbelief at the sudden tug between us. As if stung by the same forbidden barb, Marcus burst from me and disappeared into the woods, leaving me breathless within the discerning glare of a full moon.

Chapter 20

I
had yet to close my eyes in sleep when a lone rooster offered a distant cry into the predawn stillness surrounding me. I lay staring at the ceiling, torn between thoughts of Marcus and worry for Livie. My encounter with Marcus on the peak left me whirling in confusion. My mind re-created the touch of my fingers on Marcus’s lips. How could I willingly allow an intimacy that had always been reserved for Colt? The sensation was different from anything I had ever known. Perhaps time had made Colt too familiar to stir the same unexpected pull in me. A dormant part of me had been awakened. It thrilled and terrified me from every side

Guilt washed over me, but nothing pained me as much as the thought of Livie being gone. Restless anxiety drove me from my bed to dress and await the rebirth of the sun. I had to find her before day’s end, even if I had to comb the mountainside in outright disobedience of Aunt Augusta’s command to conduct myself as a proper lady. I would address the consequences as they came to me.

“Land sakes, Miz Hannah,” Granny Morgan said as I pushed open the door of the kitchen. “Why is you up wit’ de chickens? Let me get some biscuits in de oven fo’ you.”

“No rush, Granny. My appetite remained in bed this morning.”

I hurried from the kitchen before Granny could protest, and before Esther Mae came in from the woodshed to scrutinize my actions. I went to the hall closet and retrieved my woolen cloak. When I opened the front door, a burst of frigid air rushed over me, so I lowered my head and marched forth, closing the door without sound.

Once I was outside, it occurred to me that I had not organized a plan for my search. It required me to be efficient and discreet; therefore, rather than plow ahead, I went across the yard to the carriage house, where I could seek shelter from the elements while collecting my thoughts. I was relieved when Winston was not inside doing his chores. It gave me time to look around, even though I was certain the carriage house would be a poor choice for staying out of sight. My instincts proved correct, but as I poked around, I thought of dozens of other places on or near the plantation where Livie could take refuge, and I was encouraged.

I was drawn from the carriage house by the rattle of wagon wheels along the road halving the lower fields. Through the mist, I could make out the figure of a man perched on a buckboard. Where the road dipped, he slipped out of sight, but when the wagon rolled up over the hill I was surprised to see the anxious face of James. He slowed the horses and steered them to where I stood.

“James,” I said, not sure what to make of his appearance.

“Mornin’, miz.” He glanced around, as if expecting to see someone else. He climbed down from the wagon and came to me, lowering his voice. “I got somethin’ o’ yorn in the back o’ my wagon.”

“Livie?” I whispered as my heart stuttered in my chest. I was washed with relief when he answered with a quick nod.

“She showed up at the Henderson place yesterday. She was scared, so she come lookin’ fo’ me. She nearly got caught by a passel of paddy rollers. Don’t know how she found her way, she jes’ kept wanderin’ until she found me. She is sorry she run off.”

“By the grace of God, Winston and I are the only ones who know she is gone. I have been sick with worry.”

“Praise be,” James mumbled as his tight shoulders eased. “I thought the dogs would be trackin’ her by now. Take mercy on her, miz. She knows she talked out o’ turn against you.”

“I am not angry with her, James. It was a horrible misunderstanding. You were right to bring her to me. She is safe here. I fear you have been put at great risk by leaving the Henderson property.”

James reached in the pocket of his jacket and took out a folded slip of paper. “I got a proper pass to be off the plantation. I figured the only way to get Livetta back here was to bring her myself, so I broke off the edge of Massa Henderson’s ax head. He sent me out before sunup to fetch one o’ mine from the blacksmith shop. Truth is, I got mine there in the wagon, but he didn’t know it.”

The mound of burlap that concealed Livie shifted in the wagon. “Thank you, James. Your forethought and swift action prevented a catastrophe.”

“I best get back before Marse Twitch or Willy Jack set their sights on me. Pass or no pass, they will whup me if I lose a mornin’ of work.”

I looked at the open carriage-house door. “When you turn your wagon around, back far enough into the carriage house for Livie to jump out unseen. The Runians will be stirring soon, so she will be able to move about and come to the house without notice.”

James nodded and placed his hat back on his head.

“And, James,” I said before he turned away. “Let Livie know how happy I am she is home.”

I collapsed on my bed, exhausted from lack of sleep and inner turmoil. Livie was home, and my overturned world was righted once more. My wrung-out emotional state told me I had been more afraid of Livie’s fate than I had admitted to myself. I drifted in and out of sleep until a light tap on my door awoke me. The door cracked open and there stood Livie, shaken and unsure. I ran to her and wrapped her in a tight embrace.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” I said, and sniffled with relief.

Livie clung to me with regret. “I’s sorry I struck out at you when Fatima was taken away. I know you didn’t have no part in her bein’ sold off. My mouth started spoutin’ before my head could catch up. I figured I ruined it between us when I said I hate white folk.”

“Expressing your honest emotion, even anger, will never ruin the bond between us, Livie. We are friends, and friends sometimes disagree or make mistakes. You were upset about Fatima. I understand completely. I knew when you recovered from the shock, you would trust me enough to know I would never take part in such a thing.”

“Guess we really is friends fo’ sure,” she said wiping the back of her hand across her eyes. “Ain’t that a kick in the behind to a stubborn mule like me.”

Our tension gave way to giggles, releasing the pressure of the last few days. We were aware of how different the outcome could have been if Livie had been caught away from the plantation. So we found extra pleasure in our blessed reunion. All the while, the thought of Marcus tugged at the back of my mind. I ached to tell Livie her brother was alive, and confide in her about our interaction in the cave. However, just as friends can disagree and make mistakes, friends can also protect. Therefore, I decided to abide by Marcus’s wish of not telling her about his visit. I eased my guilt by praying twice as fervently for his safe and swift return. But Livie deserved more. I also wanted to give her hope to hang on to now that I knew Marcus was alive. I retrieved his neckerchief hidden in my wardrobe closet and pressed it gently in her hand.

“Where did you find this? I thought the river stole it from me.”

“I found it on the riverbank the night you swam off.”

Livie touched it to her face and breathed in the scent of her brother.

“He will come back, Liv. I believe with all my heart and soul that Marcus will return for you before summer has come and gone.” The half-truth pained me, but the smile my words brought to her face gave me peace.

Livie and I settled into our normal routine by evening. I joined Aunt Augusta for supper. As was my expectation, she did not comment on my scarcity over the last few days, nor did she seem to care. Her detachment was a stroke of good fortune with regard to Livie. Aunt Augusta did not give her a second glance when she came to collect the dishes.

“Colonel Richards arranged for his cousin to come for an extended visit for the remainder of the winter months. He arrived yesterday, and after a few days with the colonel, he will come to stay with us while he tutors you in the French language.”

I set my teacup down and huffed. “I am no longer a child, Aunt Augusta. Perhaps you should consult with me before making arrangements on my behalf.”

“What has gotten into you Hannalore? I have indulged your independent streak of late, but I caution you not to push me too far.”

I pouted as a way of not giving in completely to her, but some battles were not worth fighting. At the very least, it would pass the hours until spring. The winter months were dreary and unending, so between the quilting and French lessons, hopefully the days that stretched toward spring would pass quickly.

I retired with Livie to my room. Not having slept the previous night, I looked forward to slipping on my nightgown and crawling under the covers. Livie busied herself with straightening and dusting the room. I told her not to bother, because it had been a long day for both of us. I sensed her stalling. I was pleasantly surprised when she got on her knees and pulled out the trundle bed.

“Can I sleep here with you tonight?”

“Of course, Livie.” I crawled down to sit next to her. “I love when you stay with me, talking late into the night like sisters. Living in the cabin was your idea.”

“It’s good fo’ me to be amongst my own. The folk in the Run is family to me now, but with Fatima gone, the cabin is a mite lonesome. It be different when James is back.” Livie scrunched her face in bashful grin. “James has been visitin’ me in my cabin at night.”

“Livie!” I squealed, both embarrassed and excited. “How long has this been going on?”

“Started durin’ Big Times. We been growin’ close and feelin’ special.”

“I knew it,” I giggled. “I told Mar—” I choked and coughed to cover the slip of the tongue that almost had me speaking Marcus’s name.

Livie patted me on the back and eyed me curiously. “You all right?”

“Yes, yes, I am fine,” I said, clearing my throat. “What I was trying to say was, I told myself you have been looking quite smitten with James.”

“He asked me to be his wife.” Livie’s smile was broad and proud. “I nearly scared the life out o’ him when I showed up at the Henderson plantation. He said, ‘Livetta, I don’t know what’s gonna come o’ this, but the notion of losin’ you makes my heart start hurtin’ awful, so if we gets out o’ this alive, I’m taking you fo’ my wife if you want me fo’ your husband.’ He is gonna ask Massa Reynolds fo’ his say-so when he gets back.” Livie reached over and took my hands. “And I is askin’ fo’ your say-so now. Can James and me jump the broom?”

“You do not need to ask for my permission,” I gushed. “But you have my wholehearted blessing. I am so happy for you, Livie.” I gave her a hug and rested my head on her shoulder. We had truly become women, she and I, with the wants and desires of women. “What is it like, Livie?”

“What?”

“Being with a man.”

Livie gasped at my forthright question, then covered her face with bashful hesitation. When she lowered her hands, her face gleamed with contentment. “I thought it would be strange,” she sighed. “From the time I was knee-high, it was a fearful thing the massa could force onto you. But when lovin’ is between you, it makes you feel alive and a part o’ each other. Like you is givin’ each other something of yo’self that no one else can have. Words ’tain’t big enough to describe it. You won’t rightly understand it till you feel the fire.” Livie yawned and leaned back against the bed as her exhaustion finally caught up with her.

I had hoped Livie’s step into womanhood would bring some clarity to my own conflicting emotions. However, it only raised more questions. The joy in having her back at my side lifted my worries and inspired me to seek similar contentment for her.

Tomorrow, I will speak to Uncle Mooney about coupling James and Livie. Even if he makes me crawl on my knees and beg, I shall gladly do it for the sake of my friend’s happiness.