Projection (15 page)

Jessica still had that strange smile on her face as she reached out and took Ariel’s hand. “I said you passed the test. I knew you would. Gretchen wasn’t so sure, of course, but I knew you had it in you.”

Ariel almost fell backward. She wiped her moist cheeks again, no longer crying. “What are you talking about? What test? And what does Gretchen have to do with it?”

Jessica fell back on her bed and patted the space next to her.

Ariel sat down on autopilot, as if in a dream. Jessica took her hand again and held it gently, like how a mother might comfort an upset child. “I know this is going to come as a shock to you, and I’m sorry about that, I really am. But it was the only way. Okay?”

“Jessica, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She smiled again. “Ariel, Gretchen and I are still best friends.”

Ariel felt the color drain from her face. “What?”

Jessica nodded. “We’re still best friends. The whole ‘Gretchen as loser’ thing is just an act.”

The room began to swirl like a carousel. Up felt like down and down felt like up, and Ariel couldn’t even understand the words coming out of Jessica’s mouth, much less make sense of them.

“I’m really sorry that we lied to you,” Jessica was saying. She took a deep breath. “There’s a lot to explain.”

Ariel’s senses slowly began to come back to her, and with that return to reality came anger. “What the hell is going on, Jessica?”

Jessica nodded, as if she understood completely. “Ariel, Gretchen was never institutionalized. You didn’t ruin her life. She went to boarding school, just like I did. In fact, we went to boarding school together in England.”

Ariel’s mouth hung open. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. All this time she’d spent beating herself up about what she’d done to Gretchen … but none of it was even true. She didn’t say anything as Jessica continued to talk.

“You have to understand, back then, after everything that had happened with her mom, she was already thinking about leaving Delphi. Her dad was depressed and could barely even take care of her, but she didn’t know how to tell him that her going away would be the right thing for both of them. So when the video came out, it was the perfect excuse. The Oculus Society was reeling from the video and wanted to distance themselves from her—from both of us—and some of the members convinced her dad that it was the right thing to do. We found a boarding school that could take us both, and I was the one who started the rumor that she’d been institutionalized.”

Ariel was crying again. She hadn’t even realized it. But anger, relief and confusion were finding their way out, one salty drop at a time. “Why?” she whispered.

“Gretchen didn’t want people looking for her,” Jessica replied. “But here’s the most important thing—and something that very few people can understand … her mother had just died. Unless you’ve been through it yourself, you have no idea what that’s like. She didn’t want to have to explain herself to anyone. She asked me to make something up that would end her relationships here forever, and it was the best I could come up with.”

“So then, why did she come back?”

“She was ready. And she wants the closure. She can’t hide from Delphi forever. She belongs here.”

“I still don’t understand,” Ariel said. “Why is she acting like an outsider? Why are you going along with it?”

Jessica laughed. “Really? Come on, Ariel, think about it. Gretchen and I were caught kissing. If we both came back at the same time and were acting like BFFs, everyone would think that we were involved with each other.”

Ariel threw up her hands. “Are you?”

“No,” Jessica said, as if the very question amused her.

“Okay. But then, I have to ask, Jessica. Why were the two of you kissing that night?”

Jessica’s mouth relaxed into a smile again. “Ah. The million dollar question.” She stood up and paced the room for a moment. It seemed to Ariel that she was trying to make a decision about something. Finally, she stopped moving and turned to face her. “Do you trust me?”

The question caught Ariel off guard. She admired Jessica, she respected Jessica, and somewhere deep inside of her—in the box where she’d buried the insecure, unpopular girl she
used to be—she wanted to be liked by Jessica. But if she was going to be totally honest, the answer was no. She didn’t trust Jessica. And that was true even before everything she’d just found out. But then again, Ariel wasn’t in the habit of being totally honest herself.

“Yes. Of course I do.”

Jessica nodded. She inhaled and loudly let out her breath. “This is going to sound crazy to you, but what you saw wasn’t kissing. What you saw was the two of us exchanging souls.”

Ariel laughed. But Jessica’s look was so sharp, she stopped herself almost immediately. “Are you serious?”

“I’m dead serious. And I’m trusting you with a huge secret here, Ariel. A secret that cuts to the core of the Oculus Society. There are only a handful of people in the world who know that this is possible …”

Ariel struggled to listen as Jessica went on. About an ancient Greek philosopher, Plotinus, and his disciple, Gemina. About how the Oculus Society guarded their secret. About how this secret was passed down from generation to generation, along with a mystical phrase that was known only by the one who had been chosen to receive it. And about how she, Jessica, had been chosen as the secret’s keeper two years ago. Ariel’s mind whirled. Of all the crazy secrets she’d imagined the Oculus Society hid—mostly white-collar crimes and money-laundering—she’d never imagined it was something so off the grid.

“The night you found us, Gretchen and I were trying it for the first time.”

Ariel was at a loss. It crossed her mind that Jessica might just be screwing with her, that this was all some sort of elaborate prank and that Gretchen would come popping out of the closet at any minute, surprise! Ha, ha, ha. But something
about the look on Jessica’s face made her think that she wasn’t joking around.

“Did it work?” She felt stupid just for asking.

But Jessica was solemn in her reply. “It did.” Ariel figured that doubt must have been written all over her face, because Jessica sighed and shook her head. “Look, I know that asking you to believe this is asking a lot. But I can prove it. Here.” She took out her phone and held it out to Ariel. It was cued up to the YouTube video that Ariel had taken of her and Gretchen. Ariel felt her cheeks turn red. She hadn’t watched the video since she’d posted it; just seeing it again made her burn with shame. “Watch it,” Jessica instructed. “You can see it happen, if you know what to look for. Look at us after we pull back from each other. We’re not the same as we were before.”

Reluctantly, Ariel pushed the play button.

Before her eyes, thirteen-year-old Jessica and Gretchen came to life. Ariel watched as they sat in the teepee, cross legged with their eyes closed, as if they were meditating. She watched as Jessica told Gretchen to clear her mind, to think about amber, and then said something that, at the time, Ariel had thought was gibberish, but now realized was actually Greek. And then she watched as Jessica leaned in and put her mouth on Gretchen’s. But Jessica was right. They weren’t kissing, exactly. It was more like they were exhaling into each other’s mouths.

Jessica was leaning over her shoulder. “Now watch closely,” she said, as the two girls pulled away from each other on the screen.

Ariel put her face closer to the phone.

“Holy shit,”
Gretchen said. But it was odd, the way she said it. As if her tongue wasn’t working right in her mouth.
She watched as Jessica looked down over her body as if she were seeing it for the first time, and how Gretchen examined Jessica’s face as if she’d never seen it before. And then, as they noticed the light from the camera and looked directly into it, she saw something else. In their eyes, she could see that they wore expressions of shock. And something akin to fear. They weren’t faking.

Ariel’s hand shook as she handed Jessica back her phone.

“You had some sort of run-in with Gretchen the next day when she was in my body,” Jessica said softly. “It was at the Club. Do you remember that?”

Ariel felt like she’d just been dropped into a bucket of ice. Her whole body went numb as she recalled the incident for the second time in as many days. The odd one-piece bathing suit Jessica had been wearing. The surprise on her face when she saw Ariel turn around in the cabana. The crazy talk about how she killed Gretchen’s mom.

I know you were involved in Gretchen’s mom’s murder. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your mouth shut
.

Oh, my God
, Ariel thought. Was it really possible? Was it actually Gretchen she’d been talking to that day?

“I remember it,” Ariel said softly. Jessica studied Ariel’s face for a moment, then smiled. “You know I’m telling you the truth, don’t you?”

Reluctantly, Ariel nodded. As insane as it all sounded, she was sure that Jessica wasn’t making this up. She’d seen it with her own eyes. That
hadn’t
been Jessica that day at the Club. Ariel knew this in the deepest part of her core.

“Good. So then, here’s the
two
million dollar question: Do you want in?”

Castricius heard the news
before anyone. He’d been on his way to a meeting at the Curia when one of his bankers approached him in the road. The banker seemed nervous and shuffled his feet in the dirt as he spoke.

“You should know, Senator. Your wife has been arrested.”

Castricius casually brushed off the man and his rudeness. “I think you must have mistaken another woman for my wife.”

“No, Senator,” the banker responded, shaking his head vigorously. “I am certain that it was your wife. She followed me into the bathhouse demanding that I speak to her about opening a bank account.” The banker looked at him knowingly. “For a purpose similar to that of your own account.”

The color drained from Castricius’s face. His account with this banker was a secret. How could Gemina know of it?
And if she knows about the account
, he thought,
what else might she know about?

“Did she say anything else?” Castricius asked tersely.

“No, Senator. I’m very sorry. I hope you understand that I had no choice but to call the guards. She broke the law in plain view of a dozen men. If I hadn’t had her arrested, I would have been myself.”

“I understand,” Castricius said. “Is she at the jail now?”

“I believe she is, Senator. Again, I’m very sorry.”

The young guard at
the door nodded deferentially and ushered him in right away. The jail smelled of urine and unwashed bodies, causing Castricius to place the sleeve of his tunic over his nose and mouth. As he passed through the hallway, he stared straight ahead, trying not to look at the thieves, debtors, and tax evaders, miserable in their windowless cells. He couldn’t imagine Gemina in a place like this. The thought of her lying on the floor on a lice-infested mat caused his outrage to grow with each step he took.

“Your wife, Senator, is being held in the jailer’s private office,” said the guard, as if reading Castricius’s mind. Castricius exhaled. At least that was something. They reached a door at the end of the hallway that was bolted shut from the outside. The guard slid the bolt back but hesitated before opening the door, as if he were considering something. He reached into a fold of his tunic and emerged with a piece of parchment paper in his hand. “She was holding this when she was arrested, Senator. I thought, perhaps, you might want to have it … lest it get into the hands of the wrong people.”

Castricius took the paper and skimmed it quickly.

What is this nonsense?
he thought to himself. It came from
Plotinus, of that he was quite sure. But as he read the last few lines, his breath caught in his chest.

This is grounds for treason
, he thought with a prickle of panic. And treason was the only crime in Rome that was punishable by death. The guard was right to give this to him. With evidence this damning, even his powerful influence might not be enough to save Gemina from a public beheading. Castricius suddenly felt guilty. He wanted out of his marriage, it was true, but not like this.

“What’s your name?” Castricius asked the guard.

“Marcus Caelius, sir.”

Castricius nodded appreciatively at him. “Your judgment does not go unnoticed, Marcus Caelius.” Castricius took the paper and placed it in a fold of his own tunic. He would rip it up once he was alone. “Now, please, may I see my wife?”

Marcus leaned into the door with his shoulder and pushed it open. A breeze was blowing through the open window. Gemina was standing with her back to the door; the sunlight ensconced her olive skin and bounced off of her shiny, dark hair. The guard retreated and closed the door behind him just as Gemina turned around.

“Gemina!” Castricius was furious with her, but at the moment his predominant emotion was relief at finding her
safe and in an environment that didn’t debase her prominent status. Or his own, for that matter.

“Castricius,” she said calmly. “I didn’t expect you to be the first to arrive.” This was not the greeting that Castricius had been expecting. He’d been prepared for her to be trembling, to run to him and tearfully apologize, to beg him to remedy the situation for her. That was how she’d behaved when her father had been accused of forgery and faced a lifetime of exile. It was how she’d behaved when Plotinus had run out of money and was on the verge of leaving Rome, or when their daughter, Gaia, had developed a cough as an infant and the doctor couldn’t come as soon as she’d wanted. It was how she behaved whenever something went wrong in her life that she didn’t know how—or didn’t have the power—to fix.