Project Produce (19 page)

Well, that was easy. I made my way to the register, but the lingerie department caught my eye. I was drawn to a pure silk spaghetti-strap nightgown in the same pale-green shade as my eyes. I cringed at the thought of what such a work of art must cost, but I couldn’t stop staring at it.

What the heck. I marched over, biting my bottom lip all the way, then checked the tag, and--oh, joy of joys--thirty percent off!

I really didn’t have a need for this. Still, I couldn’t resist holding it up in front of me and pulling it snug over my bumps. I twisted left and right to get a good view of all the angles. With my long legs, it would fall over my fanny to the tops of my thighs, looking more like a long T-shirt than a nightgown. Perfect. Hide my insecurity, but showcase my legs. My best asset, as far as I was concerned.

Crash!

What in the world? I whipped around and stared in disbelief at the pair of snakeskin boots sticking out from beneath a rack of bras that had toppled to the floor beside me.

“Dylan? Is that you?”

“Afraid so,” came the muffled reply from beneath.

I draped the nightgown across another rack, reached down, and lifted the rack of bras off him. He grimaced and struggled to his feet. I couldn’t hold back my laugh.

“What?” he asked, one corner of his lips tipping up in response to my laughter.

Reaching forward, I pulled the Miracle Bra off his head and held it in front of his face. “Are you trying to tell me my peaches are lacking?” God, the things that came out of my mouth. My parents would be horrified.

He shrugged, but his grin broadened. “Think your friend Gloria would like this for her birthday?”

I had told him about Gloria over Chinese food the other night and couldn’t believe he remembered. It meant he’d actually listened to me, even if his idea was completely inappropriate. “I hardly think she needs a Miracle Bra. She can barely see her feet as it is. If I give her that, she won’t be able to see the floor.” I couldn’t help laughing. “What are you doing hiding behind the bra rack in the ladies’ department?”

“Following you,” he said. “I’ve been busy, and seeing you in the market made me realize I’ve missed you.”

I parted my lips to protest, but he placed his finger over them, stilling my words.

“As a friend, Mac. A friend.” He picked up the pale-green nightie I’d been holding in front of me and fingered the material with obvious approval. “I was trying to catch up with you to see if you wanted to hang out tonight, but you threw me for a loop when you headed into all these girly things. What man would willingly stand there surrounded by a bunch of bras?”

“Not you. Apparently you’re the sort who likes to dive right into the middle of them.” I snorted.

“Can I help it you distracted me when you held this little number up in front of you?”

Snatching the nightgown from him, I felt my ears grow warm but made no move to put it back as I headed to the register. I was buying it because I liked it, not because he did.
Really
. “I have one more stop. You’re welcome to join me, since you keep running into me anyway.”

“Yeah? Dinner, dancing, a movie, what? Where are we going, Mac?” He fell into step beside me as we exited the store.

“Toys-R-Us.”

“What for?”

“I need some toys.”

He stopped. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

I turned around and laughed at his puckered-up expression. “No, I don’t have kids.” Then I marched back and grabbed his hand. “Come on. I told Gloria I’d pick out a gift for her soon-to-be niece or nephew. She’s so busy these days with her gig, but I’m glad to help. She seems happy.”

He let me pull him along, but when I tried to let go of his hand, he kept his firmly closed around mine. I bit my lip, but went with it and tightened my grip around his. He glanced at me and then looked straight ahead, but his smile reached all the way to his electric-blue eyes. Being friends was turning out to be a whole lot more fun than I’d thought it would be.

It sure as heck beat spending another Friday night alone.

CHAPTER TEN

“Wow, that’s huge.” I stared in awe.

“Bigger than you thought, huh?” Dylan asked.

“This has to be the biggest Toys-R-Us I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh, you meant the store.”

“What did you think I was talking about?”

He held up his hands. “Hey, with you, I never know.”

“You’re a regular riot.” I smirked.

He grinned. “I try.” Then he grabbed my hand. “C’mon. We’ve got a lot of territory to cover.”

“You’re telling me. I don’t know a thing about babies.” As an only child, I didn’t have any nieces or nephews to buy for. And I only had a few distant cousins that I didn’t keep in touch with.

“Don’t worry. I have six older sisters and a ton of nieces and nephews. We’ll be fine.”

“Six sisters? Well, that explains a lot.” With his looks, I bet his sister’s friends had paraded around in front of him, giving him a little more attention than the average Joe. Between that and his zucchini, the guy was destined to be addicted to sex.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you have a way with the opposite sex.”

“You can’t grow up like I did and not learn a few things about women. Especially in an Italian family. Once I learned when to shut my trap and that I’d never win anyway, I got along just fine.” He winked. “Seriously, my sisters are great. Just stubborn and always right. It would never occur to them that they could be wrong about something once in a while.” He stared at me, and his eyes softened. “Kind of like someone else I know.”

My heart gave a little lurch. Could I be wrong about him? I swallowed hard and reminded myself I’d been burned one too many times, and I’d seen the evidence first hand. Evidence didn’t lie. But I still couldn’t bring myself to confront him about it. “We’d better get going. The store will close soon.”

He blew out a breath and shook his head. “Let’s go, then.”

I wandered up and down every aisle on both levels, circled the Ferris wheel, and even took a spin on the Lego ride to no avail. I was totally clueless when it came to kids. Dylan, on the other hand, was amazing. He stopped down one aisle to tie a little boy’s shoe then ruffled the boy’s hair and sent him scurrying after his mother.

I tried to fight the tender feelings flooding me, reasoning I was simply growing closer to him. Same as I had with Gloria after spending time with her. Okay, not quite the same, but close. I couldn’t wipe the silly grin from my face.

Scanning the signs, I once again tried to figure out what to get for the baby, dragging Dylan along with me at a quick pace. My arm jerked and I fell back, bouncing off his chest.

“Whoa there, Mario. What’s the hurry? You’d think this was a race, or something,” he said.

I faced him. “It is a race. It’s getting late, and we’re not getting anywhere. We have to get serious and shop.”

His eyes twinkled and he took several steps back. “You said we had to shop, but you didn’t say we couldn’t play.” He whipped out a toy dart gun and fired off a round, smacking the center of my forehead with a rubber dart.

I gasped. “Where’d you get that from?” Looking around, I glanced at the floor. “Where’d it go?”

He threw his head back and laughed, taking off running around the corner and down another aisle. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion as I lifted my hand to confirm it. Yup. Sure enough. A rubber dart stuck out from the middle of my forehead, making me look like an ugly unicorn, but a little thrill ran through me. My parents had been so serious, and with no siblings to play with, I’d spent a lot of time playing alone in my room.

Feeling defiant, I left the dart in place and yelled, “Two can play at this game, you sneaky, pansy-butt coward!”

A mother standing a few feet away from me gasped and covered her son’s ears.

“Whoops.” I grimaced. “Sorry.” But it didn’t stop me from tearing down the aisle, looking for a weapon of any kind.

Spotting Spider Man’s web thingy, I strapped it to my wrist and pretended to sling from aisle to aisle with my arms. God, I felt like a little kid, and I had to admit, it felt great. Rounding the corner, I called out, “You can’t hide forever.”

The man next to me frowned, but I ignored him, not giving a hoot. I was having more fun than I’d had in a very long time, and darn it, I deserved to. I kept walking and searching for my enemy.

Just then, feet pounded in the aisle ahead of me. My heart skipped a beat, and I felt a huge grin burst across my face as I reversed directions and cut him off at the other end. “Take that, Evil Villain.” I thrust out my hand and squeezed the trigger, spraying a sticky net of spider web at Dylan’s face.

He ducked, and the web showered a woman sporting the biggest hair I’d ever seen. The woman shrieked and began to rake her inch-long nails through her perfectly coiffed mane.

Dylan barked out a laugh and took off at a run.

“I’m so sorry.” I seemed to be saying that a lot today. I backed out of the aisle and charged after Dylan, only to find him standing arrogantly with his hands behind his back.

“Ha! I’ve got you now.” I aimed the web sprayer right at his head again. “And I’m going to wipe that smug smile right off your cocky face.”

“Confident, remember?” He smiled his crooked smile and looked way too pleased with himself.

“Cocky, confident, what’s the difference?”

“Oh, I think we’ve established there’s a big difference.”

I rolled my eyes. “What-ever. Prepare to lose, villain.”

“Take your best shot, Mac.”

“I’m gonna enjoy this.” I squeezed the trigger with pleasure, but nothing happened. I squeezed again. Still nothing. Out of web spray.

He let out a slow, evil chuckle.

I looked at him, and when he pulled his hands from behind his back, my jaw hit the floor. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Wanna bet?” His grin grew enormous. “I’m gonna enjoy this,” he mocked me, then squeezed the trigger of the biggest water gun I’d ever seen.

I dropped my web sprayer, spun around, and bolted. “Eeeek!” I screamed as a blast of water nailed my insecurity. The sneaky devil must’ve filled it from the water fountain. Slapping my hands on my soggy rear end, I veered off out of the line of fire then skidded to a halt and took note of where I was.

The doll aisle?
Good going, nitwit
. What on earth was I supposed to do with these? An idea popped into my mind, and I grinned. Like I said, I’d spent countless hours playing alone in my room, but what I hadn’t mentioned was I’d had the biggest doll collection in town.

I snatched a doll off the shelf, then raced over to the water fountain and filled her up full.
Oh, yeah. This one will do just fine
. I peeked around the corner. Sure enough, Dylan walked slowly toward the aisle where I hid. I leaned back so he wouldn’t see me and waited for the perfect moment.

Footsteps sounded closer, closer, closer. One more step, and he’d be mine.

“Gotcha, Diaper Boy!” I slid out of the aisle on my knees and squeezed the doll’s tummy as hard as I could, aiming the stream of water shooting out its bottom straight at the zipper of Diaper Boy’s fly. When I lowered the doll, my smile vanished and the breath whooshed right out of my lungs.

Note to self: Always check the produce first
.

The zipper belonged to a pair of short, stocky Dockers, not a pair of long-legged Levi’s. And
that
was not a zucchini. Peering higher, I took in the Oxford shirt, tie, and manager’s nametag with a loud gulp. I bit my lip and looked up the rest of the way to encounter eyes filled with what could only be called outrage.

“Y-You’re not Dylan,” I squeaked, unable to think of anything else to say.

“And you’re outta here,” the manager ground out, snatching the dart off my forehead. He helped me to my feet and marched me to the front of the store, right through the doors onto the shoveled sidewalk.

“If it helps, I’m sorry,” I said in a tiny voice.

“It doesn’t. Don’t come back, ever.” He slammed the door in my face.

What was I supposed to do now, and where the heck was Dylan? It was all his fault that I was in this predicament. Playing like a child at thirty. What had I been thinking? I made such stupid choices when I was around a guy I was attracted to. A perfect reminder why I had to steer clear of men in general. I zipped up my Eskimo parka and stood shivering on the sidewalk, ready to kill him.

Ten minutes later, he strolled out, his arms filled with packages. “I can’t believe you got us kicked out of Toys-R-Us,” he said, not even trying to hide his grin.

“You... You... I can’t believe you did that to me,” I sputtered.

He took my arm and steered me toward the parking lot. “Did what? You’re the one who went wee-wee on the store manager.”

“I did not go
wee-wee
on anyone. It was a doll, and it was water. Oh, you know darn well what it was. And last I checked, you were ahead of him. You must have jumped into the next aisle on purpose, knowing I would think he was you.” I groaned. “I can’t believe I did that. Why couldn’t my aim have been off that time?”

“Trust me, that guy deserves to have someone annoy him. He calls our precinct at least once a day with complaints, bugging the crap out of everyone. Wait until I tell the guys downtown.” A strangled laugh escaped through Dylan’s nose, until he finally let loose and doubled over. “Anyone who didn’t see you blast his balls with that doll must really think he wet his pants.”

I couldn’t help it. A giggle bubbled up from some naughty child within, until I laughed as hard as he did. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I leaned against Big Betty to catch my breath. “Seriously, though, that was a very bad thing to do.”

“That’s right, and I hope you’ve learned your lesson.” His eyes filled with mischief. “Don’t mess with the best, because you’re never going to win.”