Private 10 - Suspicion (20 page)

My heart in my throat, I followed Noelle's gaze, but nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. Or, more accurately, didn't see.

Billings House was gone.

There was a patch of sky where the tall structure used to be. All that remained standing was about half of the west wall. The wall that was once the outer wall of my room. Two ugly yellow backhoes were clearing away stone and brick and dust and rubble. The rubble that used to be Billings. That used to be my home.

Confounded into silence, I looked at Noelle for an answer. She was shaking from head to toe. She dropped her luggage and took two unsteady steps forward.

"What...? What...?"

For once, Noelle didn't know everything.

It wasn't until that moment that I noticed the other students. Dozens of them, dotting the quad. Everyone was bundled up in their winter coats, surrounded by their boxes and laundry bags and luggage. And everyone was watching. Watching those two vehicles dig and shove and maneuver awkwardly around the destruction zone. Some people were wide-eyed, hands covering their mouths as they looked around in confusion. Others were openly laughing, and a few of those noticed us in our dumbstruck tableau and started to point.

"Noelle," I said, grabbing her arm. "What happened? What's going on?" My touch seemed to snap her back from whatever bad place she'd spun off to. She yanked her phone out of her purse and pushed down on the touch screen so hard I was surprised it didn't shatter. She brought the phone to her ear and exploded.

"How could you not tell me about this! ?" she shouted at, I assumed, her father. "It's gone! Billings is gone! You couldn't warn me? How could you let this happen? " Noelle paced away from me toward the wall of Bradwell, which she kept touching with her free hand as she spouted accusations, as if she was trying to ground herself, trying to make sure this was all real. I knew the feeling. I couldn't stop staring at the trees that used to be behind Billings, but were now visible to the entire quad. It was gone. My home was gone. Where the hell was I going to go?

"Reed."

His voice sent tingles all down my back even as my heart sank all the way into my toes. I was not prepared for this. Not now. How was I supposed to wear a happy, unaffected, coolReed face now? But there was no putting it off. He was standing right behind me. I turned around to face Josh Hollis . . . and found him standing there with his hand in Ivy Slade's.

"You're here," he said, obviously confused. "I. . . we heard about what happened. I figured you'd still be ... recovering. I mean, are you all right?" His green eyes flicked past my shoulder to the spectacle behind me.

"Of course she is," Ivy said. "This is Reed Brennan we're talking about." She released Josh and hugged me. Hugged me so tightly I coughed. I managed to lift my arms and hug her back, all the while staring at Josh. He had to give me something here. A mouthed word, a look, a smile--something to let me know what he was thinking. But he simply stared at me. His expression was completely unreadable.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Ivy as I released her. She looked good. She looked, in fact, healthy--like she'd added some weight to her formerly skeletonish frame. There was color in her cheeks, and her dark eyes were bright and happy. Her black hair was back in a tight ponytail, and the pink scarf around her neck was definitely her color.

"I feel amazing," Ivy said. "Nothing like starting over, right?" The depth of my disappointment was going to suck me down into the frozen earth. My new start had been crushed before I could even begin. I was about to respond. To say something witty, hopefully. Something that would let them know I had been completely aware that Billings was going down and that I was totally fine with it. But then a limousine pulled up on the circle behind them and Sawyer stepped out of the backseat, and suddenly, I didn't want to be talking to them anymore. I didn't want to talk to anyone I had to be fake with or put on an act for. I was too tired. Too over it. Too done.

And Sawyer was right there. He'd gotten his hair cut--not short, but short enough that I could see his eyes--and he looked boyishly handsome in a gray wool coat and black pants. He found me with his eyes and smiled that sweet, vulnerable smile of his, and something inside me responded. Josh must have seen it in my face, because he turned around and gave Sawyer and Graham, who had now joined his brother, a quizzical look. Behind me there was an awful crumbling sound, followed by a tremendous crash. The students on the quad hooted and cheered and yelped as the last wall of Billings went down. Noelle shouted into her phone. Sawyer lifted his hand in a wave. Josh looked back at me, the curiosity blatant on his face. For a moment I couldn't think of what to do. Where to go, who to turn to, howto begin. So I just closed my eyes. Closed my eyes to all of it and breathed. My life had just gotten very interesting.