Private 09 - Paradise Lost (20 page)

"Reed. We've been over this," Noelle said. She placed her order with the waiter and handed him her menu. He looked at me expectantly.

"I'm not hungry, thanks," I told him. Noelle rolled her eyes and sighed.

"What?" I asked, feeling hollow.

Taylor glanced at Noelle, who shrugged.

"You guys . .. what?" I said again.

With a sigh, Taylor pushed up her sunglasses into her hair, and then blinked a few times against the onslaught of light. She sat up straight for the first time all morning and took a deep breath before speaking.

"It's just . . . maybe you're being a tad paranoid, Reed," Taylor said. My face was scalded by embarrassment. "What are you, Paige?"

"We're not saying she was right per se," Noelle put in delicately. "It's just... Ariana and Sabine really messed with your head. It's not totally out of the realm of possibility. The psycho sisters basically tortured you, Reed. It would be perfectly natural for you to be a bit on the paranoid side right now."

"You might want to think about therapy when you get home," Kiran added.

"Therapy?" I blurted, earning irritated looks from the table of adults to my left. I lowered my voice. "You think I need therapy?'

"Who wouldn't, after everything that's happened to you?" Amberly put in. Like I really relished her opinion.

"Just try to relax," Tiffany said. "Don't assume that, just because you've encountered a couple of wolves in sheep's clothing, that everyone has some dark past to hide. Poppy is just wacky, not insane."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. These girls had known Poppy a lot longer than I had. It would be stupid of me not to trust their judgment. I could do that. I could. At least, I could when I was around them.

"You're right," I said, pushing myself up straight in my chair, but only half believing my words. "I should get over myself already."

"Reed? Can I talk to you?"

I practically jumped out of my skin. Upton somehow had snuck up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. Of course he looked utterly perfect. Not hungover in the slightest. He wore a light-yellow shirt, distressed jeans, and leather sandals. The word "delectable" came to mind.

Then, I remembered I was pissed at him.

"Here?" I asked.

"Perhaps we should go for a walk," he replied.

As I got up, I looked at my friends. "Actually, I think I will eat. When the waiter comes back, will you guys order me a waffle and fruit?"

"Amberly. Do that," Noelle ordered.

Amberly's mouth fell open slightly. "But you said--"

"Are you really going to argue with me right now?" Noelle asked. Amberly glared at me. "Fine."

Score one for Reed.

I followed Upton down the steps to the ocean. It was sunny and hot, with a balmy breeze coming in off the water. A perfect day for lazing around in the sand and swimming in the warm ocean. Too bad I was feeling so cloudy and gray about Upton.

"What happened to you last night?" he said as we walked toward the water. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? I would have come along."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed, staring out at the ocean.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"It means, yeah, right," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "You seemed pretty occupied when I left. Who did you go home with once you realized I was gone--Sienna or Paige?

Oh wait. They live together now, don't they? So, both?"

Upton stared at me, his expression almost horrified. I felt the lewdness of my accusation and wanted to take it back, but I didn't. He deserved to feel bad, didn't he? After the way he'd treated me last night?

"Reed, you can't really think that I--"

"Well, what am I supposed to think?" I countered. "They were all over you! And you didn't exactly seem to be fighting them off."

Upton tipped back his head and laughed, his palms to the sky. "But we didn't do anything!

It was just a bit of flirting!"

"Flirting? That's what you call flirting?" I replied. "When I left, Sienna had her tongue down your throat."

Upton gazed out at the ocean, obviously snagged. "You saw that?"

"Yes, I saw that. So you can drop the innocent act," I said. "You kissed her."

"Yes. She kissed me. For a split second. That was all. I was drunk and I lost my head for a moment. Then I stopped the kiss, and I told Sienna she had to stay away from me for the rest of the trip," he said.

"Oh, please," I said.

"I'm sorry about the kiss," he said. "I swear to you, it will not happen again. And if you don't believe me, you can talk to Sienna. Or Noelle and Dash. They witnessed the whole sordid conversation."

"Whatever." I stared out at the water. Part of me was starting to cave. Who was I to judge someone who had, in an inebriated state, made an unwise sexual decision?

Upton crossed his arms over his chest and planted his feet in the sand, hip width apart, like he was getting ready to square off. "Reed, I've said I'm sorry and I'll say it once more. The kiss was a slipup and I know it was wrong. But I am not going to pretend I'm not a flirt. I am. It's my personality. I've known these girls for years and that's the type of relationship I have with them. You must stop with the jealousy."

"Oh, must I?" I said sarcastically.

He gave me a look that made me feel like a child. I blushed and looked away. He took my hand and held it in both of his. "Yes, you must. Because, though I have been with a lot of women, I am with you now. Only you." I stared at the ocean, my eyes stinging with tears. I didn't know what to believe. I didn't know what to do. Follow my instincts, save my pride, and just walk away now? Or do what my heart wanted--open it up to him and potentially let him pummel it to death.

"Reed, look at me. Please," he said seriously.

I held my breath and did as he asked. He smiled briefly, looked at the ground, and took in a breath. He held my fingers so tightly it was like he was afraid the wind might blow me away.

"I know this sounds insane, but"--he paused and looked into my eyes--"I think I'm falling in love with you."

I completely froze. My heart expanded to fill my entire body, warming me from back to front and head to toe and everywhere.

"And that is something I've never said to anyone," he added firmly. Just as quickly, my heart deflated. Because I had said it. To Josh. And I'd felt it for Thomas, though I'd never gotten the chance to tell him.

And look at how those relationships had worked out.

Suddenly, I was trembling. All I could see was Josh's face. Thomas's face. The hurt I had caused them both. The hurt they had caused me. I couldn't handle seeing Upton that way. Cheerful, devil-may-care

Upton, who had never felt deeply about anyone. I couldn't be his first. I didn't want to crush him on his virgin voyage into actual emotional territory.

"I have to go," I said, tearing my hand away from his.

"Wait. What?" he asked.

I speed-walked away from him. "It's just . . . I'm starving," I improvised. "I haven't eaten anything all day. . . ."

"Reed, I don't expect you to say it back, but you can't just run away," Upton said, jogging to reach me, kicking up sand behind him.

"I know. I'm sorry." I stopped and told myself not to be the child I had felt like moments ago. Told myself to be brave and mature and not stupid. I looked up at him. "It's all just a little fast. A little . .. scary."

Upton smiled and pushed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "Funny. I'm not scared at all."

Maybe you should be.

There was no way I could make him understand. He'd think I was being an overly dramatic, paranoid freak. Just like my friends. I mustered a smile from God knows where. "I just... I need to think about it, if that's okay."

Upton smiled, relieved. "That's fine. Of course."

"Good," I said, breathing in for the first time in what felt like an hour.

"Good."

He leaned down and gave me a sweet, brief kiss on the lips.

"Now let's go eat. That waffle sounded perfect," he said. We walked up the steps to the restaurant together, hand in hand.

As I made myself breathe in and out, I realized that I felt okay about this. For once, I'd done the smart thing. Not jumped in with both feet without looking. And Upton had understood. Maybe everything actually could just be okay. Maybe I had imagined the whole stalker thing. Maybe Upton and I could just be together without any drama. All I had to do was get over myself. Stop reading into every little thing. Stop taking it all so seriously. And I could do that. I could.

As we reached the patio, the door on the opposite side of the restaurant swung open, and out stepped a tan, happy, gorgeous-looking girl in a red sundress and heels. The whole restaurant froze as she grinned and lifted her arms above her head in a double wave.

"Hey, everyone! Miss me?"

My breath caught in my throat. It was Poppy Simon.

CHAPTER 33 POPPY POWER

Right, so ... a disappearance that didn't end in death.

Is it wrong that I was so surprised?

"Poppy!" Paige screeched, jumping up from her table. She raced across the room and practically tackled the girl into a hug. Soon Kiran, Taylor, Noelle, Tiffany, Daniel, Gage, West, Sienna, and Graham all followed, coming from every corner of the patio. Upton and I just stood there, hands clasped, unsure of what to do. Before I knew it, Kiran and Taylor were dragging Poppy back to the table. Upton and I glanced at each other, then walked over to the table and sat. Paige and her faction dragged up seats or stood around, crowding us in.

"Where have you been?" Kiran demanded. "Everyone was freaking out."

"Even though I told them not to," Noelle added under her breath.

"Oh, I just took a little sail over to St. Kitts," Paige said, waving a hand as she perched on the edge of her chair. She sat straight, her legs crossed at the knee, showing off their long, lanky perfection. "I needed some time to be alone and decompress," she added, casting the briefest of glances in Upton's direction.

"We're glad you're okay," he said, squeezing my hand under the table.

"I'm so sorry I worried everyone," Poppy said, grinning and not looking the least bit sorry.

"I actually got home last night, but I thought it would be more fun if I came here to see all of you in person. Have you eaten? Because I am famished."

"Waiter!" Daniel shouted. He was standing directly behind Poppy's chair, and he turned around to look toward the kitchen. "Can we get a plate of strawberry crepes and an espresso over here?"

"Oh, Daniel, that's so sweet! You remembered my favorite," Poppy said, reaching up to stroke his arm. "Thank you."

Daniel smiled tightly and looked sort of smug. Like remembering the love of his life's preferred breakfast was some sort of accomplishment.

"Anyway, I met the most fabulous group of people at St. Kitts," Poppy gushed, reaching for the juice carafe. "I told them they all had to come over to party with us on New Year's. You guys will love them. ..."

As she prattled on about Jean-Marc from Belgium and Gorina from Portugal and their group of world-traveling friends, I watched her closely. She looked at every single person around the table except for me. Each time her eyes traveled from Upton to Noelle, it was as if there were nothing but air between them. Her story went on and on with random details about snorkeling outings and skinny-dipping in some hidden cove, and I started to wonder... .

Was any of it true? Had she just made all of it up with her "wacky" imagination? Had she really been here all along, following me, messing with me, trying to hurt me?

Or were my friends right? Had I simply become way too paranoid for my own good?

"What about the blood?" Sienna asked finally.

Poppy stopped babbling, and everyone shifted uncomfortably. It was kind of a blunt question. Warranted, but blunt.

"What blood?" Poppy asked.

"The blood by your car," Paige clarified in a soothing tone. "That was part of the reason we were so worried."

"Oh right!" Poppy said, blinking. "I didn't think it had bled that much." She lifted her arm to show us a white bandage taped just above her elbow. "I cut myself on a rusty bit of my car," she explained. "The sea air is really no good for those things. But no worries, I got a tetanus shot on St. Kitts and all's well."

Everyone laughed, and Upton put his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. I couldn't believe that no one was grilling her or admonishing her for not calling. These people had been worried sick, and now they all seemed not to care that she hadn't bothered to contact them and let them know she was okay. If I'd done that, Noelle would have bitch-slapped me into oblivion upon my return.

"So! Everyone looking forward to Casino Night?" Poppy asked, clasping her hands together. "We're all crashing at the hotel after, right? Like always?" Paige and Noelle looked at each other as the vibe at the table grew distinctly uncomfortable. Poppy had no clue about the rift in the group. Because, again, she hadn't bothered to check in with anyone for the past few days.

"Sure," Paige said finally. "Wouldn't miss it."

"Yeah," Noelle added. "We're there."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as both Poppy's and my food arrived. It looked like a temporary truce had been called. Poppy really did have some kind of power with these people. Was she powerful enough that they couldn't see her for who she really was? Did she, in fact, have stalker potential?

I so didn't want to find out.

CHAPTER 34 LET'S GAMBLE

It was a perfectly warm, balmy night. Stars blanketed the sky above as a polite island breeze ruffled the palm trees but refused to disturb our carefully constructed updos. Floating in the water at the end of a long, red-carpeted dock was a gorgeous yacht, the deck decorated with thousands of tiny white twinkle lights. I could hear ragtime music playing inside, and a round of laughter made its way through the air. As Noelle and I walked down the dock behind her parents to join the line of people waiting to be admitted to the party, I felt a warm tingle of anticipation. The kind I always felt before the Legacy. Like anything could happen. But unlike the Legacy, where "anything" never turned out to be good, tonight was going to be incredible. I could practically taste it.