Read Princess of Passyunk Online
Authors: Maya Kaathryn Bohnhoff
Tags: #ebook, #magical realism, #Maya Kaathryn Bohnhoff, #Book View Cafe
He looked up to catch her smiling at him. “It was just something I had on hand,” she said.
Nadia leaned across the table, her face a peculiar blend of envy, hope, and wariness. “I don't suppose you'd be willing to share the recipe for your galobki
?
Eugene would very much like that, I imagine.” Her eyes slid sideways to Yevgeny, who grinned.
“I'd be happy to,” Svetlana assured her. “You know, there's really no trick to it. It's the cut of meat you start with and the spices in it. My father makes sausage, so I learned all about spicing meat from him. I'd be happy to share what I know.”
Under her bright, gracious smile, Nadia melted. The paragon was not above herself, nor did she intend to hoard her favors. From the corner of his eye, Ganady saw his Baba Irina smile, while around the table the other grandmothers and mothers and daughters-in-law-to-be shared
looks
that said Svetlana Gusalev had just hit a triple.
His plate full, Ganady Puzdrovsky allowed himself to relaxâto enjoy the food, drink, and company. Svetlana was real and she was here. This was no dream. He could taste the spicy galobki, feel the cabbage virtually melt in his mouth.
He was cutting into the roast capon and listening to the happy banter around him when he beheld his bride-to-be take a galobki from the platter and laughingly slip it up her voluminous sleeve. She made no attempt to conceal the act, so every eye at that end of the table was glued to her when she shook out her sleeve and released a quartet of beautiful white and gray speckled pigeons into the air.
Ganny quickly revised his assessment of his state of consciousness.
Now I will surely wake up
, he thought. But he didn't.
Vitaly Puzdrovsky went from open-mouthed astonishment to laughter. “Bravo! Bravo! Ganady, what amazing talent has your Lana. How is this done?”
Lana only smiled secretly.
Ganady was impelled into the gap. “Svetlana is a circus performerâdidn't I tell you? She's aâa magicianâwell, sure, you can see that, huh? That'sâthat's aâanother reason why her parents are a little put out with her, see. And that's why you haven't met her before. She's been...touring. With the circus,” he finished lamely.
“Oh, how exciting!” cried Nadezhda, clapping her hands.
“Could you teach us to do that?” asked Annie from her place next to Nikolai.
Svetlana's eyes sparkled in the candlelight as she took a second galobki from the platter and slipped it into the opposite sleeve, saying as she did: “I don't really know how I do it. I just put the âlittle pigeon' up my sleeve andâ” She flung her arms upward, scattering more live birds into the air. The assemblage applauded.
Giggling like the schoolgirls they had lately been, Nadia and Annie each picked up a pair of galobki and stuffed them into their sleeves.
Wrinkling her nose in distaste, Annie asked, “Do we count or say abracadabra or anything?”
Svetlana cocked her pert golden head and shrugged. “If you like.”
The two other girls exchanged looks across the table.
“One,” said Annie.
“Two,” said Nadia.
“Three,” they said together. In perfect unison, they flung their arms up and out.
Cabbage, rice, and meat sprayed everywhere.
Belatedly, the guests ducked and closed their eyes, hoping to dodge the hail of food.
When Ganady once again opened his eyes, they went reluctantly to his father's face.
Vitaly Puzdrovsky was as red as the cabbage on his plate, his eyes bugging out from his head as if he could not believe that his good Sabbath bow tie was now decorated with sauce and rice and ground meat. There was a truly horrible moment of silence, then Svetlana's bubbly laughter cascaded down the table.
Ganady held his breath, for Vitaly Puzdrovsky had begun to quiver, then to tremble, then to rattle like a boiling teakettle. Tears started from his eyes, and from between his compressed lips came a sound like the hiss of escaping steam.
And then, he uttered a sound Ganady had never heard beforeâhe giggled. There was no other word for it. He giggled. He chortled. He chuckled. And then suddenly, he was laughing uproariously, his eyes streaming.
With the speed of waves chasing the wake of a harbor tug, the laughter circled the table, sweeping everyone away.
In the midst of it all, Svetlana cried: “Oh, but Papa Puzdrovsky, your pretty bow tie is ruined!”
And so saying, she reached out to the dessert tray with its mound of bow-shaped
cruschiki
, and lifted a fat, sugar-covered specimen from the top of the pile. She put this delicacy up her left sleeve then, with a grace that brought to mind enchanted swans or Sonja Henie, she shook out the sleeve and delivered into Vitaly Puzdrovsky's hands a big, beautiful red satin bow tie.
Smiling and wondering, Vitaly unclipped the soiled tie and replaced it with the new one.
Meanwhile, Annie and Nadia, giggling, scrambled after the
cruschiki
. But where Svetlana had used one, the other girls each grabbed a handful of the delicate pastries, stuffing them into their sleeves. Then they shook them out again in a cloud of confectioner's sugar and broken crumbs. The tablecloth and the guests looked as if they had been snowed upon.
Svetlana laughed. Everyone else laughed with her. Even the two embarrassed would-be magicians.
And Ganady, for his part, fell twice as much in love with the flesh-and-blood woman (if that she was) as he had with the dream. Three times. Four.
As coffee, tea, and babka were passed around in what to Ganady was a happy, warm, scented blur, Svetlana excused herself to go up to the powder room on the second floor.
Ganady thought nothing of it until his mother also went there and back, and still Svetlana was gone.
“Where is Lana?” Rebecca asked her son.
He could only say: “I was about to ask you. She wasn't in the ladies' room?”
Rebecca seemed surprised. “I didn't see her.”
Ganady shrugged, trying to appear unconcerned. “Maybe she went to the kitchen...for something.”
“For what would she go to the kitchen?”
“To find...recipe cards?”
Rebecca Puzdrovsky seemed to find that a reasonable idea and returned to her seat, but Ganady's insides were in a sick knot. Had she come to him only to disappear again? If they were indeed married, would she disappear stillâonce or twice a week? Every day?
He waited a moment more, then glanced about to make sure that everyone had returned to their celebrating. Everyone had, except for Baba Irina, who gave him a strange, veiled look and tilted her head toward the doors that opened into the service hallway and kitchen.
He rose, patted his mouth with his napkin and excused himself from the table. He would go to the ladies' room first, he reasoned, because that's where she said she was going. That was his intention. But as he entered the hallway and found the kitchen doors facing him, curiosity overcame logic.
He passed through the doors. The kitchen was empty. Still, he made a slow circuit of the central island, eyes flitting here and there, drawn to the floor.
It was on the windowsill that he found itâthe empty black-cherry husk of a huge cockroach. He stared at it for a long moment, terrified at first, then wondering.
It was impossible, of course. Impossible that his beautiful Svetlana had... Had what? Slipped out of this carapace as a normal woman (a
real
woman?) might slip out of a coat?
But if it were soâ
if
âwhat might happen should the coat be destroyed? Might the wearer be forced to do without?
The reasoning (if it could be called that) seemed sound from a dreamer's point of view...or from the point of view of someone in one of Baba's
boobeh mysehs
.
And he was not yet convinced he didn't dream.
He picked up the carapace between thumb and forefinger and carried it to the great, gleaming stove. His hand shook and the heat of the oven, propped open to cool, all but melted his resolve. But at last he grasped a knob, and turned on one of the burners. Blue flame erupted from it, licking up through the cast iron cover.
He flung the carapace into the flame. It vanished in a puff of smoke and flame with a tiny sound like a sigh.
Behind him, the sigh was echoed and he knew his strange actions had been observed. He turned, readying some explanation that involved his Mama's fear of insects, but it was Svetlana who stood in the doorway watching him with sad eyes.
“What have you done?” she asked.
“I...I...I meant,” he finally got out, “to free you. I thought if I burned it, you wouldn't have any place to go back to and you'd have to stay...like this.”
He'd already started the gesture toward her before he realized what it implied. What it meant he believedâand had believed for sometime, if he was honest. His face burned so hot, he thought he must be glowing red.
“Oh, Ganny,” she said. “If it were that easy, don't you think I would have destroyed it myself by now?”
“I figured there must be some sort of rule about it. I thought maybe
I
had to do it.”
She sighed again. “You'd already done it, Ganny. You'd already saved me. But now... Well, I've got to go back.”
“But...
how
? Why? I mean, how did this happen?”
What he was really asking was whether she was a cockroach turned woman, or a woman turned cockroach. Not that it mattered to him, because he would have loved her either way. He wasn't certain, but he suspected there was a mitzvot for it.
Svetlana's mouth pulled up at one corner. “It's a long story.”
“I'd really like to know.”
She shrugged and slipped up onto a kitchen stool, hooking her ankles around the legs. Her shoes slipped from her feet to clatter on the black and white tiles. They were pumpsâor so Marija, who had just begun to care for such things, had informed him. They were the same color as her dressâdarkest greenâand had little satin bows on each toe.
She tucked her dress around her knees. “It was my Da, the Sausage King of South Philly. Da, he's a very shrewd businessman. A self-made businessman. He's always had this dream of having a chain of shops here in Philly, over the river in Camden, maybe other places as well.”
“A Sausage Empire,” said Ganny.
She nodded. “He'd build it and pass it down to his sons. But he didn't have sons, he had meâthe Sausage Princess.”
“And he wants you to run the stores, right?”
She cupped her knees with her hands. “Ever since I was a little girl, he's been trying to get me to take an interest in the family business. But, I gotta tell you, Ganny, my only interest in meat is cooking and eating it. But he kept at it anywayâbuying new stores, looking for ways to expand the business. And, you know, I'd do it for himârun the storesâif it were that simple. But it's not.”
She took a deep breath then said, “Once upon a time, he was happy with the idea that his daughter would inherit the stores instead of a son, but that all changed when he met the Bagel KingâYuli Bzikov (a pompous
shmegegi
if ever I met one). And it hit him: what if, instead of just cutting meat up and sending it home in little white parcels, he sent it home inside bagels? Sausage bagels, galobki bagels, all different kinds of meat-stuffed bagels.
“To Papa, it was a marriage made in heaven. They'd merge the two businesses, become legal partners. He'd get dough for his sausage-breads, Bzikov would get meat for his
pierogies
. And best of all, Bzikov had a twenty-year-old son named Boris. Pompous
shmegegi
junior.”
Boris. Ganady's hair stood on end. He did not at all like where this was going.
“And Boris liked me. So Papa got it into his head that the Sausage and Bagel Empires should be joined by ties of matrimony. He had a big party to announce my betrothal to the Son of the Bagel King.”
“The Pierogi Prince,” said Ganady, apropos of nothing.
“Exactly. But I didn't want to marry Boris Bzikov, even if he was a Prince. I was only fifteenâI didn't want to marry anybody. So when Papa made this big announcementâwhich, by the way, was a surprise to the bride-to-beâI was so shocked I jumped up and said... Well, I said what I was thinking, which wasn't very nice. And the Bzikovs were understandably offended, and Papa was outraged. He demanded I take it back.”
“What you said?”
“What I saidâwhich I'm not going to tell you, by the way. But I didn't. So first, Papa complains about how America is having a pernicious effect on the behavior of young womenâ”
“He said âpernicious?'”
“He tries to learn a new English word every week. âPernicious' was the word that week. Anyway, next he set a curse on me.”
Ganady blinked. “A
curse
? A real curse?”
“A real curse.”
“
That
curse?” He pointed to the burner upon which the cockroach carapace had recently expired.
“The same. He saidâand I quoteâ'That I should have spawned
such
an ingrate. May I be accursed for spawning such a child. (âSpawn,' was the word the week before.) May your mother, God bless her, be accursed for giving breath to such a child.' Then he smote his forehead”âshe illustrated sonorously, smacking her brow with the heel of her handâ”and cried, âWhat am I saying? We've already been cursed, your poor parents, to have
such
an ungrateful girl. Now, it's your turn.' Then he cursed me.”
Ganady, caught in the middle of reflection that he had never seen anyone smite their forehead, asked: “Just like that? He just said, âYou're cursed?'”
Svetlana tilted her head and shrugged. “Well, not so much. He had Aunt Beyle do it. She's my mother's sister. Aunt Beyle's a witchâat least that's what Da calls her. One evening he comes home from work with a little box tied up with string, like you might put giblets in. And he comes up to me and says: âThis is yours until such time as you learn to obey or until a man loves you in spite of your low estate. Only then will you be free of my curse.'