Prima Donna (30 page)

“I’m sorry?”

“I said I thought you’d left already.”

“No,” Regan answered. “Uh, tomorrow.”

“Where’s she going?” Ben asked as though Regan wasn’t sitting right in front of him to ask directly.

“Remember?” Katie said. “She took that styling job with Griffin Carr. She’ll be the talk of the town now, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, good,” he snorted. “One more thing for the prima do—”

Carter was off his chair and in Ben’s face so fast no one even knew what happened until Ben stumbled back into the table behind them.

“One more word,” Carter thundered. “And I swear to God—”

“Carter!” Katie grabbed his shoulder and pulled but Carter didn’t budge until Ben lifted his hands, palms out.

“Jeezus, man, relax.”

Carter’s shoulder flinched but instead of punching Ben like Regan feared he would, he shoved Ben away and stalked out of the pub, leaving everyone at the table staring at Regan.

“What the hell was that?” Ellie asked as Katie fussed over Ben.

“I don’t know. I—” Regan stopped, frozen in her seat as the room and everyone’s faces swirled around her. “I gotta go.”

“What?” Ellie was on her feet almost as fast as Regan.
“What the hell is going on?”

Regan couldn’t answer. All she could do was press her hand across her eyes, then her mouth, as Jayne stared back at her with something Regan could only describe as hope.

“Nick can drive y—”

“No!” She yanked her jacket off the back of the chair and shook her head. “No, I’ll take a cab.”

And less than a minute later, she was giving the taxi driver instructions to Jayne’s house. If he wasn’t there, she’d damn well sit on the front porch until he got there.

Carter had never told her to stay, he’d hardly even put up an argument. All he’d asked was if she was sure that’s what she wanted to do.

How could she have missed that?
Shit!
A few days ago, she’d torn a strip off Julia and Rossick over the same thing, about how he wanted them to be happy, to have what
they
wanted, not what
he
wanted, because he loved them.

Regan pressed her head against the headrest and stifled the growl that threatened to explode out of her. Of all the times to get a law-abiding taxi driver…she should have made Ellie drive her; they’d have been there in half the time. When they finally pulled into Jayne’s driveway, Regan threw a wad of cash at him and all but fell out of the car. It took her a second to find her footing, but one look at Carter sitting on the front step of the house, a beer in one hand, Duke lying beside him, and her knees almost gave out again.

She could do this. It’d be easier if her stomach would stop flip-flopping like that, but he was a doctor, so she wouldn’t be the first person to throw up on him, right?

Carter didn’t move, just sat there watching her approach with eyes so dark she almost missed how his pupils dilated.

Almost.

“Hey.” She swallowed hard and licked her lips. “You okay?”

“Great.”

Even Duke frowned at Carter’s grunt.

“Good,” she said, forcing her breath into her lungs. “So I was, uh, wondering a few things.”

Carter didn’t say anything, just lifted the bottle to his lips and drank.

“Right. Okay. Um, the first thing I was wondering was this.” One step closer. Then another. “What do you want?”

He lowered his bottle slowly, frowning as he did.

“You,” she said. “What do
you
want? Don’t think about what anyone else wants or needs, and don’t think about making anyone else happy. Just think about you, what you want, and what’s going to make you happy. What would that be?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t even have to; it was in those eyes, those freakin’ dark eyes that stared back at her with the words he was too scared to say. Words she was just as scared to say herself. Or hear.

Even so, she couldn’t stop her lips from twitching against a grin that bubbled out of her no matter how hard she tried to stop it.

“Okay. Good. Whew.” She huffed out a breath and nodded, her eyes wide with relief. “That’s very good. But it means I need to tell you something; a confession of sorts.”

His hand shook ever so slightly as he lifted the bottle to his lips again and croaked out a tight, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I lied to you.”

“ ’Bout what?” Carter rested his elbows on his bent knees, and dangled the beer bottle from his fingers.

“I, uh…” She bit her bottom lip, shrugged slowly and tried once again to rein in her grin. “I am, in fact, completely useless with a hammer.”

It started slowly, one heartbeat at a time, his eyes softened and the tension around his mouth began to ease.

“Is that right?”

“Yeah. And don’t get me started on screwdrivers. All that lefty-righty-lo
osey-goosey stuff.”

“Lefty loosey, righty tighty.”

“Whatever. The point is I’m going to need someone who knows about hammers.” She pulled the tight scroll out of her sleeve and held it out for him to take, then waited while he read it. Twice.

“Holy shit.” He whistled, low and short. “That’s, uh…”

“I know. But here’s the thing. It’s too much space for one person, and since you said yourself that Jayne and Nick don’t want you hanging around being the third wheel all the time, you’re going to need somewhere to live. So I was thinking…”

“Regan…”

“What?”

He pushed slowly to his feet and turned toward the door, leaving her standing there like a complete…oh, he was just putting Duke inside. By the time he closed the door and turned back around, she’d managed to swallow most of her panic.

“You want me to be your roommate?”

“Yeah. In my room. With me.” The only way she could calm her trembling was to keep blathering on. So she did. “But don’t think just because the house is paid for that you’re going to get to live here for free, because I’m still going to charge you.”

“Yeah?” He set his bottle next to the porch rail and took one step down.

“Damn right. For starters, I’m going to want free medical care for the rest of my life.”

“I think I can manage that.”

“And you’re going to have to renovate the garage on your own because I wasn’t kidding before, I really am completely useless at most blue jobs.”

“No problem. I know all about hammers.”

“You mean Nick does.”

His grin grew slowly, as he shuffled down to the next step. “Whatever.”

Finally, he moved down to the bottom of the stairs and stopped right in front of her. The air between them snapped, her fingers itched to reach out to him, but she didn’t. Not yet.

“There’s something else.” Swiping her tongue over her parched lips, she swallowed again and squared her shoulders, but before she could say it, he was right there, his mouth a breath away from hers.

“You don’t have to say it,” he murmured, smiling slowly. “I already know.”

Regan’s lip trembled and her eyes filled, but when she tried to say it, to push the words off her tongue, all that came out was a disgustingly unattractive choking laugh over a sob-hiccup.

“Nice,” he smirked, using the hem of his shirt to wipe her nose. When she looked down, trying to get a grip again, he just lifted her face up to his and kissed her, soft, gentle, and oh-so-freakin’ slow. “I love you, too, Red, but are you sure? What about…I mean, I can’t….”

“You can’t what? Have kids?” She tipped her head a little to the left and sighed. “News flash, Sparky, you already told me that.”

“I know, but—”

“There’s no ‘but.’ I know some guys think it’s a testament to their manhood to be able to father a child, but just because your sperm works doesn’t make you a good dad.” She slid her fingers up around the back of his neck and gazed up at him. “And you, Carter, are going to make an amazing dad.”

“So are you saying…?”

“I’m saying if you’re open to it, at some point down the road, we should talk about adopting or fostering a child or two.”

“Oh, I’m open, sweetheart, but I was hoping for something more like…” Slowly, Carter’s grin returned, getting bigger as he first held up two fingers, then three, slowly raised a fourth, then wavered a little when his thumb inched its way out, too.

Regan laughed quietly as she gently pushed his thumb and half of his fingers back down. “Easy there, Sparky, one thing at a time.”

“Right. Okay,” he breathed, resting his forehead against hers. “Did I mention I love you?”

And then suddenly, she couldn’t hold it in anymore; she must have said it a dozen times and each time she did, he kissed her again, right out there on the driveway for all the neighbors to see.

“Okay, enough,” she laughed, fisting her hands around his shirt and pounding him on the chest. “I have one rule.”

“Only one?” The slow smile, the laugh lines around his eyes…

“For now there’s only one,” she said, fear beginning to creep its way back in again. “But that might change.”

“Okay, what’s your rule?” He slid his hand around her neck and kissed her one more time, bringing her in closer until she melted against him. Damn it was hard to think straight when he did that.

“I…uh…oh…” She gave into the tremor that shook her whole body, then leaned back so she could look up at him, so she could see the truth no matter what it was. “If we do this, you can’t change your mind. Not next week, not next year,
not ever
. So if you’re not one hundred and eighty-seven percent sure right now, just tell me, because I’m prepared for it now, I…I can handle it right now…but next month or next year…”

Carter eased her hair back from her face and smiled until her knees started to wobble. “I’m not gonna change my mind, Red. Ever.”

He sounded so sure, and yet…

“H-how do you know that?” she asked. “Look at Maya, look at Ellie, look at…look at my parents.”

“I don’t want to look at them,” he said. “I just want to look at you, and right now I’d really like to look at you naked.”

“Oh.” Regan sputtered over a laugh and glanced around to see Mrs. Eggert’s face peering at them from her window across the street. “Then we might want to take this inside before Mrs. Eggert calls the cops.”

Carter draped his arm around her neck and started down the driveway. She didn’t even have to ask, she knew they were heading back to her apartment.

“So.” He drew the word out slowly, as if he was considering its deeper meaning, then laughed slowly. “If you’re going to be like my steady chick now, maybe we should get you a matching bike.”

“I’m not a chick and I don’t want my own bike. I like riding on the back of yours.”

He growled low in his throat, pulled her close enough that he could kiss her, hard and fast, then ginned. “Good answer.”

With her apartment building in sight now, they picked up their pace and crossed the highway against the light. Regan ducked her head against the wind, missed the curb and tripped, but Carter steadied her, then tucked her in tighter under his arm.

“Not a bike,” she said. “But the insurance company wrote off my car, so I’m going to have to look for something else.”

Carter didn’t miss a beat, just lifted his chin to the row of vehicles parked outside her building. “What about that one?”

Dented and scratched, with primer covering the entire front bumper and a huge red for sale sign in the window, Regan just shook her head at the once-white minivan and kept walking.

“Oh, come on,” he laughed. “I’d buy it just for that Death Star antenna topper. I gotta get me one of those.”

They hustled up the walk to the front door and ducked into the elevator. The doors hadn’t even closed when Carter pulled her in for a kiss, then hesitated, and looked down at her with a small frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said quietly. “But you understand this doesn’t change anything. I’m still going to go work for Griffin.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do.” Leaning back against the elevator door, she pressed her hands flat against his chest. “I told him I’d do this film with him, and when it’s done, and we’ve had time to catch our breath, then we’ll sit down and figure out what we want to do after that.”

Carter nudged her chin a little until she looked up at him. “When you say ‘we’—?”

“I mean you and me, we.”

“Okay, good.”

The elevator opened onto her floor and they almost tripped over each other getting into her apartment, dragging jackets off as they stumbled inside.

“Look, Carter, in one fell swoop, Mrs. G has wiped out two of the three biggest bills I have, but I still have my mom to look after, and you need to know that there’s nothing I won’t do to keep her in Hillcrest.”

“I know, but—”

She muffled his words with a kiss, distracted him by shoving his shirt up and over his head.

“So if that means I run a salon out of the house during the week and fly to Timbuktu on the weekends to work with Griffin, or vice versa, that’s what I’ll do.”

“I know.”

She wanted to say more, to make him understand exactly what might happen, but he pressed his finger against her mouth and smiled.

“I know all that, Red, and I get it. If that’s what you want to do, then do it, but you need to know something, too.”